Another chance?
by Mina Lisly
Summary: All mundanes. Clary starts in a boarding-school called the Institute, because of her dark and messed up past. Little does she know that past will catch her up in the most unexpected place: the arms of Jace, the mysterious golden and broken boy. Will be in Jace's and Clary's point of view. Tries to keep TMI biggest plot & loves.Rated M for swearing of hot stuff (coming later though)
1. Chapter 1

"Holly crap."

As I looked at the Institute, I couldn't help but shiver. I was expecting some crappy, old and decrypted building for it used to be a Church two hundreds years ago, but in front of me was a beauty of architecture. My fingers were itching to draw it, to draw every corner, every shadow, every glass-window. Now and then I could see that some restoration had been done, but it only brought more charm to the building.

"Man, you're really going to go there?"

"Do I even have a choice?"

"I wouldn't go in here! Even for a million bucks! Looks like it's going to swallow your soul! Creepyyyy"

I looked at Simon, shock written all over my face. How could he not see the perfect beauty standing in front of us? Okay he was anti-conformist, but there is so much you can deny when perfection was just in front of you.

"So are we moving along, or will you drool over the building until tomorrow?"

"Let's go" I tell him "there's a club waiting for us"

"Your mom' ..."

"Is not here and does not need to know. "

I see him internally deliberate and then sigh, indicating him that I won the argument before it even started.

"You know, it's like my last night of freedom, and I actually want to spend it with you doing something ..."

"Wild"

"Exactly!"

"Let's go then"

We leave then the front of the Institute and head to Pandemonium. It's not its a club that "clubby" it's a "all age club". See not that wild after all, and it's not like my Mom will be able to actually ground me, I'll be in the Institute starting tomorrow to her wishes. I remember how mad I was when she told me about it, it was like she stole a piece of my life and threw it back to me. Not the Institute part, but the part of why she was sending me. Now that I think of it, I don't think that my life can get any weirder. I mean I had a Dad who didn't know I exist (and that until a few days ago thought that was dead) and an ex "boyfriend" who's been toying with my mind, feelings and body. And actually this last part is why I know take self defense class. I mean, it's not like it will be useful, but it's a start. Maybe he'll think twice before coming near me next time, if there a next time. As for my Dad, apparently he is bad news, but who am I to judge a guy I know nothing about. And it's not like my Mom would tell me anything about him. Except that he is bad news. Oh well, let's just hope that my life will turn around with my arrival at the Institute.

"Claryyyyyy! Zoning out again?"

"Sorry. You were saying?

"I was wondering about your getting wild thing. I mean it's not like you at all miss Invisible. "

"Let's just say that I want to have at least lived a little before going back to the Hell hole that is high school. "

"Especially in THIS 'high school'"

Simon was not really found of me going to the Institute. I didn't really know why, I mean it's not like we would not be able to hang out on weekends. Sure I'd be trapped in this boarding school five days a week, but come on, it's the 21st century, phone, Skype and stuffs were made to help in these situation. He could have come with me, I'm sure my Mom wouldn't have mind pulling more strings for him to get in, but I tried to mention the idea of it, he refused. Well, more like he freaked out! And he wouldn't even tell me why. Who's behind childish now?

~.o.O.o.~

We arrived in front of the club, and surprisingly, there was no line. I know it's Sunday, but still, Pandemonium was DE club. As we made our way in, I noticed a boy with sticking blue hair. He was ... handsome. He was all dressed in black, with a bit of eyeliner surrounding his eyes, which made his hazelnut eyes pop. As he glanced in my direction, I blushed, realizing it was staring, and started to dance to the beat, trying to be seductive like in the movies (and may I had, failing miserably). He started moving toward me, giving me butterflies, when he noticed something behind me which made him frown. I turned my head and saw ... a goddess. She had to be : she was tall, had long raven hair, chocolate eyes, and CURVES (my exact opposite then). She was wearing a strapless white dress which was showing as much skin as it could without being vulgar... Some girls are just Blessed by Angels while I end up being the stupid unattractive me! Talk about fair! She made a discreet nod and went to the storage room. I looked back at my blue stranger and saw him head to the storage room as well. Once they were both in it two guys followed. A blond one and a dark haired one. Without even knowing what came over me, I went also to the storage, I mean 3 guys and one lonely girls, there was so much that could happen. As soon as I opened the room, I heard voices in a heated argument. The girl was saying :

"Let's just get rid of this scum. He does not worth it, and he will never tell us what we want."

"Oh Izzy, I was just starting to have fun" the blond one stated and then I realized that the blue haired guy was on his knees, held down by the dark haired one, who looked so much like the girl, Izzy, except he had blue eyes, blue like the Hawaiian ocean. The blond one was ... gold if that even possible. Skin and hair : pure gold. Can people stop being so handsome around me? Just for one second! I was in awe when suddenly he raised his hand ...

"No!" Before I realized it, I threw myself at his arm to hold him back (like that would really help). He looked at me in surprise and there again gold. Even his eyes were golden! Who in the world has golden eyes? Angels? Elves? Cats? Doesn't matter, no human has golden eyes.

"What are you?" The dark haired asked

"A girl! Alec, can't you recognize a girl? The right question is not what but who" he turned his eyes from Alec, back to me (who was still holding his arm) "so who are you?"

Like I will give my name to a total stranger. I composed myself and let go of his arm and turned to look at Alec.

"Let him go."

"What?"

"You heard me. You can't just go around and beat people, for the fun of it" I realized then that the victim in question hadn't done or said anything about his situation "And you man up, don't be such a wuss and fight for yourself!"

"Little girl, I don't think you get what is happening here, so if you could just ... move along" and then he signaled me the door. I gasped at the rudeness of his demand, but planted my feet in the floor, when suddenly I heard the door opening and we all turned our head to see our new intruder

"What's going on in here? This room isn't for costumers!"

The watchman throw us all out menacing us to ban us from the club. I looked around trying to find Simon (that I totally forgot) when I heard Izzy say

"Man, I can't believe we got our plans screwed by a carrot baby! Jace, we will never be able to know anything now! He probably ran to Seelie, and the bitch will get away with it! "

"No, she won't"

I turn to look one last time as the trio. Angels they must have been angels, fallen angels, but still angels. Jace glanced over me before disappearing with Izzy and Alec. Finally I found Simon, he was chatting (more like flirting) with a pretty dark skinned girl who was a head taller than me (why am I so small?). I walked over them and told Simon I was heading home to avoid any yelling from my mom.

~.o.O.o.~

As I opened the front door of our apartment, I hear my mom talking to someone. I check my phone 1:32. I am in so much trouble. Tomorrow is a school day. I try creeping silently into my room, but my mom must have super hearing

"Clary?"

"Yes?"

My mom appears in the doorframe of the living room.

"Anything you'd care to share?"

I bite my tongue because I know I'm in trouble. I decide to avoid the subject as long as I can.

"Who's here?"

"Luke. He came by to wish you good luck for tomorrow, but guess what, you weren't here nor picking your phone" her voice was calm, which was actually a bad sign.

"Well I wanted to see the Institute at least one before being locked in, and then we went out with Simon. " There I said them the magic word : Simon, to my mom he was always the reliable one.

"You were with Simon?"

"Yes but I left him flirting with some girl "

"Simon? Flirting with some girl?" My mom raised an eyebrow (yes just one, when I tell you genes are not in my favor) as if it was impossible.

"Yes, he'll tell you all about it if you want, me I'm going to bed. Wouldn't want to be late tomorrow now would we?"

~.o.O.o.~

Stupid alarm! Let me sleep just five more minutes, please. Suddenly I rose up and looked at the clock. 7:35. I've been asking for five more minutes for an hour. Quickly I jumped in the shower and put on the first clothes that came to me and hoped on my Harley. My mom already dropped my clothes and stuff on Friday. 7:59 and I'm in front of the Institute "Score" I think to myself. Then I take my helmet off and woke in

"Here we go."


	2. Chapter 2

**Youpsi, I forgot to put the disclaimer on the first chapters! So of course, the characters do not belong to me, but that you all already knew! **

~.o.O.o.~

Monday morning. And I am so hangover. And school starts in ... Shit 30 minutes! How am I supposed to get ready in half an hour? I hear a slight knock at my door and Maryse's head pops in. She looks at me still in my pajamas and instantly take a worried look. I keep myself for rolling my eyes, moms always worry for the simplest things such as waking up late.

" Jace, you're still not ready? It's not like you."

" I'm on my way."

" Well, come to my office when you're ready. Before 8am would be great. "

Once she closed the door behind her, I humped in the shower trying to have any recollection of last night. Why did I drink so much? Oh yes, right. We finally had been able to pin this punk of ... I don't even remember his name, and a little red head barged in claiming to be some saint who saves everyone. Even screw ups like him. Okay she didn't know what he had done, but still ... Yes still, she was beautiful. Wow! No she was not, she was pretty maybe, average probably, annoying certainly ! Of course she had to be good hearted for she tried to save a total stranger, but that ... that's means nothing to me. And actually means nothing at all. Many people do that and go back to their normal lives unnoticed. I know plenty of good hearted people. Argh, how I hate having my mind screwed like that, especially in the morning, especially when I am hangover and especially by that nameless little girl. I shook my head to empty my head and got dressed before going to Maryse's office. On the way, I found Alec who looked like he was just dug up from his grave and Izzy as flawless as usual. None of us were really in the mood to talk, so we just nodded to each other as a greeting. Once we were all in Maryse's office, she told us about this new student she has been talking about for days and how one of us should tour her. We all looked down to her file and I saw the picture of ...

"Wait? Isn't it the girl from last night?"

"I'll do it."

"What?"

Even though only Izzy spoke, both Alec and her were looking at me with tennis ball eyes. Like if I was insane, or my head was missing. Then, Izzy shrugged and went out. Alec stayed a bit longer, internally debating something before proposing his help (which I denied) and leaving also. When only Maryse and I were left, she told me that I should probably find the girl on the parking lot. I quickly headed there, my heart beating faster than it should. Once on the parking lot, I tried to spot red, and once I did, I went straight to her. She was by a bike, a helmet in hand and a phone next to her ear. As she was speaking to God knows who, she turned and looked me straight in the eyes. I gave her a smirk, expecting her to blush like most girls, but she did the contrary, she paled and looked like she was about to pass out. I kept on going to her and once I was close enough I heard what she was saying :

"Come on Si, even I can tell that she was into you."

"..."

"Why should it bother me? Anyway I gotta go."

"..."

"No it's just that some people do not know the words 'personal space' and 'privacy'. I'll talk to you later."

She hung up and after looking at me one more time and then conspicuously turned her head. What? What kind of girl does that? None! Especially not to me! I caught up the few feet between us and talked to her. There was no way I was letting her get away like that. I mean, how luckier could have I been for _her_ to be the new student.

"So little girl, you're the new girl?" Good job Captain Obvious! Who else would she be?

"What do you want?"

"Hello rudeness, did no one ever taught the formal greetings? Especially to a god like me?"

She looked at me from head to toe, taking me all in. I tried to smile angelically and I saw in her eyes that she was actually finding me hot. Well, finally things wee going back in order. While she was looking I did the same and I noticed that her eyes were greener than I thought, green like emeralds and not like tree leaves. She had a very pale skin, much like Izzy's and she had small freckles on her nose and cheekbones, they were almost invisible. Her hair were red as the sunset and she was small. So small that if I was looking straight in front of me, I would not see her. She tear me away from my contemplation saying :

"You want to talk about rude? Who's calling the other 'little girl'. I have a name as far as I'm aware of."

"You did not give it to me last night."

"Like I'm going to give my name to some creep!"

"That hurts!" I fainted a hurt expression and placed my hand on my heart. She glared at me, before making her way to the doors of the Institute. Once again I caught up to her, and I properly introduce myself:

"I am Jace Wayland by the way, son of the directors and your humble servitor to show you around in this Hell hole also called high school."

"I thought that the directors' name was Lightwood?"

"Technicalities. So what is your first class?"

"I'm not going to get rid of you, am I?" I shook my head at her. She seemed to deliberate for a moment, certainly evaluating the pros and the cons, and then she surprised by saying:

"I'll let you help me, only if you tell what was wrong with that dude yesterday"

"None your business. Don't worry your pretty little red head about it."

"Then don't worry your pretty big blond head with me, I'll find my way around!" And by saying she bolted to the doors before I could do or say anything. I started going after her, but thought better of it, and went back to Maryse's office, praying for her not to be there. As I walked in, I saw that my prayer as been answered and I looked at the girl file (what I should have done from the beginning). Her name was Clarissa "Clary" Fray and was 16. She was living alone with her mother downtown and had nothing special which would actually justify her presence here. Usually, people going to the Institute were all 'sons of'. But Maryse has been talking about her for days, so maybe it meant that she knew Clary's mom a bit more than she let appear. Apparently Clary was really good at mechanics and art. And her first class was literature, which meant class with me (and I was going to be late, this was not my day). I bolted out of Maryse's office and went straight in literature which was, fortunately for me not far from where I was. I arrived in the class just at the same time as the bell rang and after looking around trying (and failing) to find my redhead, I went to my usual sit. Wait, did I just say _my_ redhead? Something is definitely wrong with me. I shook my head and looked at the person sitting next to me, to tell him he should know better (no one sits next to me), when I realized it was _her_.

~.o.O.o.~

**Okay, so I wanted yo thanks the people who are already following and who already favorited my story, I was not expecting this this early. Just to let you know, I will try to write chapters quite long and upload at three time a week (well now it is not that easy, being in my finals and all) anyway, hope you liked this chapter, and if there is anything you'd like to discuss about the story, just tell me, and I'll see what I can do about it. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey there, so here is my chapter 3. It will be Clary's point of view, and obviously she as well as the other characters all belong to our beloved Cassandra Clare. **

~.o.O.o.~

Okay, is it me or my life is going from sucky to suckier? Sure having a handsome guy being interested in you is cool, but this _particular handsome guy_ is way too ... too annoying. And rude. And let's not forget arrogant. And did I mentioned the annoying part? And now I am stuck on having to sit next to him for the whole hour coming to me. As I sit, he turns his head to me and smirked. God I hate smirking people, they always put on masks and always turn out to be deceiving and disappointing. And now I am stuck for the rest of the year with _that_. I love my life (note the sarcastic tone). I took my notepad out of my bag and started listening to the lesson. I actually enjoy literature, and art, and history, and English ... Well anything that isn't Maths or scientific. M. Aldertee started talking about the book we would study _Les Liaisons Dangereuses_ by Chordelos. I open my eyes wide open once the information reached my brain. What kind of teacher makes you read a book about so much sexual deviance in high school. Not like I haven't read it, but still.

"Afraid of a book little girl?"

I turn my head to the annoying person that is Jace Wayland and try not to drool. It should be forbidden to be _this_ gorgeous. I'm sure it is in some unknown country. And besides being gorgeous, he has the perfect face to draw: angular, symmetric, flawless, careless, rebellious, sexy ... I should stop thinking like this, it's not like I would ever ask him to pose for me!

"What do you mean?"

"You should have seen your face. It was priceless!" And with that he started to chuckles and formed glasses with his hands before placing them in front of his eyes. I decide to ignore him, but make a note to myself : do not let all your damn emotions go through your face.

"Well, looks like I have my own private stalker now!"

"You have no idea Clary."

How does he know my name? Well, being the directors' son, maybe he had heard of my coming. I know that he excepts me to respond or at least react, but I don't. I just take notes of what the professor is saying. I can feel that _Jace_ is still staring me. Does he think that because he is gorgeous he can be creepy? This is getting scary

"What?"

"Nothing. Just normal people don't ...

"... Don't talk to me about normal! You beat a guy for no apparent reason, you snuck up on me this morning, listened to a private conversation I was having, followed me around and kept on calling me 'little girl' even though you knew my name! Normal people don't do that!"

"How can you think that I'm normal with the marvelous looks that I have?" He smirked and I heavily sighed. Yes, this was going to be a long year. I looked at the time. Still half an hour to kill, and this professor who was passionately talking about their last book. _Romeo and Juliet_, seriously? M. Aldertee was really in need of action. Then with a radiant smile he asked us to team up with the person next to us and write something about the story. Song, prose, poem, whatever we wanted. Jace turned to me, a devilish smile on his face.

"So do you want to do Romeo, since you're such a badass?"

"I'm not a badass."

"Well, you intervene in fights, you ride a bike, you apparently cannot stop yourself to shut me up, so, yeah, for your not even first hour in this school, I'd say your a badass."

"Clarissa, if you don't feel up to it, you can pass on this one." I looked up to M. Aldertee who was smiling down on me. I smiled back and explained him that I was perfectly fine with it and that we were actual long planning on writing a song on prose taking place at the very before Romeo drinks the poison. He nodded and went to vulture in the class (I not I am inventing verbs, but with the way he is dressed he looked like a vulture, worst he looked like Snape!).

"So _we_ are planning a song? Do we have a melody or something in mind?"

"Who do you take me for? Mozart? Do you know _Broken_ from Seether and Amy Lee" he nodded and I explained him that I was planing on using the melody and just changing the lyrics. It's not like I wanted to save his ass, or him to get a good grade, but I did not want to be classified as a troublemaker, especially not because of him. He agreed suddenly his eyes drifting away. It was weird but his eyes were intriguing me in a way I would never think. I couldn't put a single emotion out of them, they were full, too full of emotions and I had a feeling that he was trying to hide them being smirking and being an arrogant ass. We started to work on the lyrics (**AN** Jace is in bold, Clary in Italics)

**I take from thou my love**

**Thy last and coldest kiss**

**I take for thou my live**

**My last drink**

**And ...**

**Those are my last words**

**My last looks and touch**

**Because thou's lying here**

**Leaving me here in pain**

**'Cause I'm broken**

**'Cause I'm frozen**

**'Cause I'm open**

**Like thou are in here**

**Thou aren't breathing**

**But I'll join thou**

**Soon enough**

_Hold on to me my love_

_Just for a love kiss time_

_Hold on to me my love_

_Don't leave me here_

_..._

_Thou promised me thy life_

_So let me give thou mine too_

_With thy sweet dagger_

_We'll never be apart_

_'Cause I'm broken_

_'Cause I'm frozen_

_'Cause I'm open_

_Like thou are in here_

_'Cause I'm broken_

_'Cause I'm frozen_

_'Cause I'm open_

_Like thou aren't breathing _

"Well, I think we did a pretty good job."

Even though I agree with him, I cannot help but roll my eyes. Apparently M. Cocky does not know a thing about modesty. I see him copying the lyrics on his notepad before turning to me with an apprehensive look on his face. Geez, what does he think, that I will go Marie-Antoinette on him because he wrote our lyrics on his pad?

"Do you have music class?" I shook my head and wait for him to keep on going.

"You should, as extra credits, and we could sing the song. Um ... What do you think?"

"I don't know, I have to think about it. I wanted to go to the auto shop after school, I heard there is one in here." I look at him waiting for him to confirm the rumor, but he gawked at me.

"What?"

"Are you even a girl?"

"What?" My voice got an octave higher. Was he saying that I was so curve-less that you could not tell if I was a girl or not?

"Most girls don't go to the autos hop, nor bike for that matter." Okay that hurts, he is saying that I am acting like what? a dude! I decide to take revenge.

"Well I'm sure that most girls drool over you and venerate the dirt you walk on."

He stared at me in shock, apparently not expecting this from me, but before he could say M. Aldertee (let's just call him M. Vulture from now on) leaned on our paper. He took a few moments to read it before marking it A+ and telling us it was a very good work. Then, the bell finally rang and I gathered as quickly as possible my stuff before rushing out of the class.

~.o.O.o.~

The rest of the day went by slowly, knowing that I had two other classes with him, I don't know how I did it to stay remotely sane. Having him around was like having your emotions on a swing. I didn't know if I should hate him or like him. He could be as annoying as he could sometimes be quite sweet (quite, I emphasize very much on it). But I decided to forget all about him as I walked in my last class. Art. Finally. Finally I was walking into my haven, this hour could not come quick enough. I've always like to draw. Draw is my everything. I could stop breathing, I could NOT stop drawing. I could draw for hours and still crave for drawing more. It was a drug to me. All day long my fingers had been itching for a pen, and the only time I could satisfy them was at lunch by doing a quick sketch of one of my old memories. As I introduced myself to Madame Dorothea, the professor, she smiled as if I was her Christmas gift.

"Yes, you're the young Miss Fray? I've seen your drawings that came along with your application. I'm afraid there isn't much left for me to teach you, but anyway it not was this class is about, this class is about unleashing your imagination. And I heard that your imagination is quite overflowing." I looked at her, guardedly and she explained herself : "Yes, M. Aldertee told me that you wrote a song in less than five minutes."

"Oh, um I wasn't alone. Jace Wayland helped too." I hated having the spot on me, but apparently, she could not take the hint.

"Well, you should take Music as extra credits, I know that he already takes this class. If you team up, I'm sure it will come out splendid."

I smile at her while thinking that maybe in a crazy part of her mind Jace and I would be 'splendid' but in reality, it was so not happening. I took a random seat at table on the back of the class and took my sketchpad out. I let my gaze on Mme Dorothea and her crazy outfit. She was dressed like ... like professor Trelawney. A version of professor Trelawney from Nouvelle-Orleans. Why did this school had to be so Harry Potterish? The Hogward like building, the professors, what will come next? Me meeting a basilisk on my way to the bathroom? I shook my head and concentrated on my drawing. As I started earlier a drawing of _him_ and I in this park he used to take me, I finished it. Only our faces were missing, like in most of the drawing I made about us lately. What emotions should I put? The ones I thought that were real, or the ones that came ... after. The problem with 'after' was that I still did not know how to feel about it. Angry, but what else. I tore my eyes from the drawing, trying to shake my head from all this thoughts when I saw a sculpture just next to me. The sculpture was made of clay and was ... magnificent! You see all the details of the man's body, all his muscles, all his veins, it was almost as if is was alive. The person who made it must have marvelous hands. Hands which would make some people very happy, if you get my drift. I looked up at the person who was still caressing (the way he was modeling his sculpture was almost sensual) and recognized the black haired guy from last night. Okay, I was cursed, there was no other way to explain it. He must have sensed me staring at him, because suddenly his eyes were on me. I smiled politely, and was about to compliment his work he when looked down on me with anger and ... hatred? I wanted to ask him what was his problem, but the bell rang and the Devil's head popped in.

"So little girl, ready for your first music class in the Institute."

"Go away, Devil!" I said grinding my teeth.

"Devil? Don't I look more like an angel?"

"And isn't Lucifer a _fallen_ angel?" He was Lucifer, the angel of light which had fallen for vanity. Could this image fit any more? He smiled and turned to Alec.

"Do you think that I'm a Fallen Angel?"

"I don't care Jace, let the girl be. If she doesn't want to go to your class, it's probably because she sings like Eureka." My eyes double sized as I realized what he was insinuating. I asked him to clear himself.

"From the Little Mermaid?"

"Yes, who else?"

"I didn't know you were so into girls cartoons. Maybe you're not as a man as you look like."

The look on his face frightened me as well as settled me. He was gay. Gay and in the closet, and by the quick glance be had on Jace who was laughing his ass off, he was so into him (and Jace didn't know a thing about it).

"Whatever I am heading out of here."

Once he was out, I started following him because I did not want to stay alone with the Devil in a room. I was still planning on going to the autos hop (I needed to take care of my baby) when the Devil (I should stop calling him that) grabbed my arm.

"You know, if you don't come to the class, I'm going to thing that Alec was right about your singing abilities."

"And why should I care about what you think?"

"Okay, let's put it another way" He took out of his pocket a set of keys. "You come to music and I open for you the autos hop with unlimited access."

I looked at the keys as I internally debated. Accepting his offer meant spending more time with him (and selling my soul to the Devil he his) but on the other hand, _unlimited access_ meant I could pamper my baby all I want, and maybe boost her a bit. I let a moan out of my mouth, which surprised me and made me blush, and agreed to hit. God, what I was up to do just for my baby, maybe I was not a girl after all.

~.o.O.o.~

**So I take the risk to repeat myself over and over, but all the characters belong to Cassandra Clare. And for the song, the music is from Broken, of Seether and Amy Lee, but the lyrics are mine, hope you liked it. It is also clear that I do not own the Harry Potter franchise nor the Little Mermaid one.**

**Wow two chapters in one day, so like I promised, this one is a bit longer, and sorry but the next chapter might only be out on Sunday, just letting you know (and yes as you could have guessed I a quite a motor fan, especially Harley's. And when you think that Sunday I'll have my Sunday drive on a FatBoy, I am already drooling about it just by thinking about it ?)**

**By the way, if you want some other references, tell me I'll try to put them on (if I know them of course). I'm already planning on some Game of Thrones and some Supernatural (because I just have too). **


	4. Chapter 4

**So here come chapter four, from Jace's point of view, and earlier than I thought! Hope you like the story so far. **

**And as usual, and as everybody knows I do not own anything from the Mortal Instruments, all credits go to Cassandra Clare. Okay enough chatter, here is for you chapter 4 : **

~.o.O.o.~

Clary had finally agreed to come to Music class with me. Man did I beg! Still, I was slightly intrigued by her interest in the auto shop. She really must like those kind of places. I mean, she literally _moaned_ when I mentioned to her the possibility of unlimited access! What kind of girls like auto shops? Certainly not the kind I was usually hanging out with. Maybe that was why I desperately wanted to be with her. Hang on, did I just say 'desperately'? Okay this is getting out of hand, I definitely need to demystify her for me to go back to my usual self. The thing is that my usual self have girls crawling to his feet and this girl was everything but the crawling kind. All day long she ignored me, even though we had three classes together, she just ignored me. I would have prefer her to avoid me, at least that would have meant that I awoke some sensations in her. When lunch time came, I had hoped that I could get her to talk to me more than five minutes, but she was nowhere to see. So I had to sit with Izzy and Alec, and let me tell you that I had better meals in their company. Izzy ignored me during the whole meal (what was with girls and ignoring me today?) and Alec did not stop staring at me. I did not even try to know why, I was too preoccupied to know where the redhead could have gone. But when I went to the art class to pick her up (maybe she's right and I am a stalker, I mean I already knew her schedule by heart), it hit me that Alec did not like Clary. I don't know why, but the way he was talking to her was definitely not Alec-like. Clary did not seem to notice nor mind, and now that we were heading to the Music room, all she was interested was her damn auto shop. I wanted her to talk to me, she was talking alright.

"It is weird though, how can a school have an auto shop, not that I'm complaining. I heard that the shop was huge. And that there was pieces of junk in case you need to restore or boost your engine. And ..." She suddenly stopped talking and walking. I looked at her a question hanging in the air.

"You know if you keep on stopping like that, we are going to be late."

"How come you have the keys to the auto shop."

"I am the directors' son, duh."

"It's not what I meant. You don't seem to be the auto shop kind of guy."

"Says the little girl who moans at the mention of the auto shop."

She blushed and resumed walking. Man she was cute when she was blushing. But man, I'd rather her blushing and moaning because of me, not because of an auto shop. We finally arrived in Music, and I took my usual spot and before she could even try to escape me, I grabbed her hand and sat her next to me. She was about to say something but restrained herself. From the corner of my eye, I saw Aline looking at us curiously, before turning to her friends and starting gossiping. That's right. I've never shown any interest in any girl in school. That was the golden rule : never hooking up with a girl you could see on a regular basis. And now I was all over that red girl. Izzy is so going to make a big deal out of this! And there was no way for me to escape it.

Ms. Herondale entered the room and a dead silence stroke the room, as usual. Ms. Herondale was a scary professor, but really compassionate in the mean time, you just needed to stay out of her black list. As soon as she seated, she spotted Clary (with that hair, who couldn't) and then started her class. We had ten minutes of warm up before she started calling people up the stage for them to sing, or play. When she called me, I signed Clary to come along with me and grabbed the guitar. Clary looked at me, a bit astonished, which made me feel good. And then I started singing, already knowing the lyrics by heart. But I was not prepared for what happened when _she_ started singing. She had the voice of ... a siren. Her voice was enchantress and to die for. When she finished, we got the usual claps, and some girls were jealously looking at her, but apparently, she did not notice. We went back to our sits and when the next person was on stage, I started talking to her (it seemed that I could not stop myself to always want to speak with her)

"So instead of being Eureka, you're Ariel. Should have known with that hair of yours."

"I'm sure there was a compliment hidden somewhere."

"Are you always that fighty?"

"Are you always that..."

"... Charming. Always?"

"Not exactly the word I had in mind."

I sighed, why this girl was killing any idea of a nice conversation?

"Clary? Can we, I don't know, be nice to each other?"

"Am I not nice?" She thought to herself and then added "No, I guess not ... But neither were you."

"I know, the thing I don't know how to be nice with other people."

"You mean other than yourself." She looked at me, smiling. _Smiling_. I finally got her to smile to me. "Sorry I shouldn't have say that. But I guess you're right, it's easier to pick on people than to be nice."

She sighed before taking out a pad and starting drawing. Right, she was an artist. I fought with myself for not looking and lost myself in my thoughts. It was not healthy to need to be in good terms with someone this much. It was like my life depended on it. And the attraction. I could deny it all I wanted, I was attracted to her. Her creamy white arm resting inches away from mine was making me shiver, and this was not natural for me. I don't shiver because a girl is close to me. I shiver because I'm cold and that's it. I turned my head to look at her, trying to understand this mess she created in my mind, and it was only then that I realized what she was wearing. Black skinny jeans, combat boots and a black AC/DC T-shirt way too big for her. The hem of it arrived at her mid tights, and I couldn't see her body because of its largeness. It was like she was trying to hide her body.

~.o.O.o.~

"So this is my baby."

"Your baby? It's just a bike, you're aware of that, right?"

She looked at me like if she was ready to kill me for blasphemy. Man she was really into her bike.

"Sorry. So what kind of bike is it?"

"A Harley Davidson, Super Side Glide, a 1999 model." While talking she started tearing her bike apart and cleaning one by one the pieces with love and tenderness. This chick was definitely acting like a dude. I mean, usually girls look at shoes like that, not at bikes and scraps of metal.

"And how did you manage to afford an Harley?"

"Oh, so now you know enough of bikes to know about their price range?" She chuckled, still not taking her eyes off of her baby. "I found it in the dumpster a while ago, and I ..."

"_You_ rebuilt _this_ bike?" I looked at her, taken aback and when she nodded I whistled.

"I wasn't alone. Luke helped me, even though my Mom was not really into it."

Luke? Who was Luke? Her boyfriend? There was so much love in her voice when she said his name that it hurt me, I wanted her to say _my_ name like that. Okay, now I'm really losing it! When did I became so cheesy?

"Moms never like bikes. It's in the Bible of Moms."

"Probably. Anyway, enough about me."

"Does this mean you want me to talk about me?"

"Your favorite topic."

I looked at her as she was cleaning the muffler. The thing is I did not like talking about my life to anyone, not even with Izzy and Alec, so why should I talk to _her_ about it. I stayed silent a while, and as I was not answering her, she looked up to me. I saw in her eyes a flash of understanding, and she said:

"It was just to build to the conversation. Don't worry about it, we can talk about Harleys." She smiled before bursting out a laugh. "Kidding, relax pal. We can talk abouuuuuut ... girls."

"You want to talk about girls?"

"Looks like it's one of your favorite topic, beside yourself."

"And how would you know that."

"I'm psychic."

And while she said that she washed her hands and removed her T-shirt. I held my breath for a moment before realizing that she had a tank top underneath it. A really _really_ skin tight tank top. All black, which showed her curvy breast and made her skin whiter and more ... well, let's just say I would have love to have my lips flickering on it. And once again she laughed her ass off.

"You should have seen your face! It was like I was going to molest you!" I blushed, hoping with all my heart that she did not see that.

"Well, usually girls don't strip on the first date."

She conspicuously looked at me before turning her attention back on her 'baby'. An awkward silence grew and then it hit me, I said 'date'. I bit my bottom lips and once I closed my eyes I leaned my head against the wall behind me. She did not say anything, all concentrated on her baby. I opened my eyes and looked at her, _really_ looked at her. She was sweaty and had dirty oil all over her. On her forehead, on her left cheek, next to her bottom lip, on her left shoulder, next to her breast. She must have feel me staring at her because now she was looking at me straight in the eyes. Immediately, the atmosphere changed, it became ... electric. I could feel my heart beating faster than it should and breath becoming heavy. My fingers, my mouth, my whole body was aching for her. And worst of it all, I started feeling it down there. I took a step toward her, and she tore her gaze away from me.

"I'm done. We should head back to the dorm-rooms, isn't there a cover few?"

"Yes. I'll show you your room." She smiled while saying:

"Still stalking me I see."

"Always finish what you start. Aren't you going to put you shirt back on?"

"No, I'll get oil on it otherwise and oil is pretty difficult to get rid off."

I closed the shop, and led her to the dorm rooms, when I remembered that Maryse had said that she would stay in the private quarters. Meaning she would be a few feet away from me every night. Man, this was going to be hard. She kept on being silent, so I did not try to impose her another conversation, especially since they all ended so badly.

"I'm sorry."

"What? Why?"

"I know you tried to be nice since I got here, and, um, let's face it, I did not return the favor. So I'm sorry for being such a bitch, and thank you for sticking around." Okay, I was not expecting this. How was I suppose to answer.

"You don't know, it might just be my stalky vibe."

She laughed and I relaxed. We were in front of the door leading to the private quarters and I did not want to go any further. I knew that as soon as I would open the door, she wouldn't be only mine anymore. I leaned against the door and she looked at me, surprised. I smiled and when she smiled back, I got bold and tried to erase the dirty oil from her cheek. Her green eyes grew wide and before she started laughing I swear I saw a hint of a blush.

"The only way for me to get rid of that is to take a really long shower!"

"Maybe I should join you, to help you rub it of." Yep, now she was definitely blushed.

And suddenly the door behind me flew open, making me almost fall. I turned my head to see the intruder. Izzy. If I was alone with a girl, whatever the place, whatever the moment, whatever I was doing with her (and by that I mean sex), give it to Izzy to barge in. She glared at me while I was throwing daggers with my eyes, and then, she turned to Clary.

"Sorry for the asshat that is my brother. If he bothers you, just kick him where it hurts. So you must be Clary. I am Izzy, and I already know so much about you. It's crazy how our moms used to be friends but never hang out together when we were young, even though they were living in the same city. I love your look, very badass, but you could definitely go for a sexier badass. Oh, and I know that we started on the wrong foot and all, but, um, let's just say you were at the wrong place, at the wrong moment. Oh and by the way, Magnus Bane is doing a big Halloween party on Wednesday, you should come. I'll help you dress up. Maybe you should dress as Ariel. No it's too obvious. We're going to have so much fun ..."

As she was endlessly speaking, she led Clary further in our quarters and I followed, resigned to the fact that she had just stolen my Clary. I should really stop calling her mine. As she was dragged by Izzy, she turned to look at me and I saw a desperate call in her eyes, like if she was saying 'Help me'. But before I could act on it, Izzy made her disappear in her room.

**So, here was chapter 4. Hope you liked it even though it is a bit short, but don't worry, next chapter with Jace's point of view will be very long and maybe (only maybe) a little lemony, not sure yet. **

**For the credits, you know the drift, I don't own a thing except the plot and the lyrics of the song. So I'll still try to update Sunday, after my FatBoy ride. Take care all. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello there, so here is chapter 5. With, guess what, Clary's point of view. Shocker (just kidding). **

**Well you know the drift about me not owning any of the characters of the Mortal Instruments. They all belong to Cassandra Clare. **

~.o.O.o.~

God, this girl would not stop talking! She kept on going on and on and on and on. I couldn't even say a word without her cutting me and starting a new topic. And blah blah blah, parties, blah blah blah, boys, blah blah blah, shopping. Wow stop? Shopping?

"I don't do shopping!"

Well, apparently, I just had to say a whole sentence for her to stop talking for a second. And now she was staring at me, literally shocked. So shocked that her mouth was making a 'O'. Well, maybe I should have talked less unfriendly.

"I mean, I don't like being sequestered in a shop for hours."

"But how am I suppose to make you drop dead sexy?"

"Um, you don't. I assure you, I'll survive with the clothes I already have."

She looked at me, and pouted a bit. Great, now I was feeling guilty. She sat on her bed (her pink bed) and resumed her talking.

"I didn't mean to scare you, it's just that I really never had a girl friend."

I stared at her, not believing her. I mean look at her! She was perfect! Pretty, tall, outgoing, and apparently fun : all the good material for the Queen of high school. And now, she was saying that she never had friends.

"_You_? Never having girl friends?"

"Yes, being the directors' daughter can sometimes suck. Add to that two older dumbass brothers ... Let's just say that I never had a _real_ girl friend."

I sat next to her, understanding what she was saying. Real friends were hard to find. I was lucky to have Simon, but apparently, she did not even had that. I taped awkwardly her shoulder, being as new at making friend with a girl than her. She smiled to me and said:

"Well, apparently, I'm not the only one struggling with making friend."

"You have no idea."

"So what's your story?"

"I thought you knew all about me."

"Well, I might have exaggerated, I only know that our moms knew each other, and that's why you're staying here. Nothing more."

"Nothing much to say. I'm 16, the new girl who came in middle of the year, and that's it."

"Oh come one! I don't want to know that! I want to know your wild side!"

"Doesn't really exist."

"Come on! How do you want me to believe you Hen I know you ridding a bike and you shut up people just by looking at them."

I shrugged and she gave up her inquisition. She must have understand that I was not going to talk. That made me realize that I really needed to improve by social skills.

"Anyway, I'll show you your room for you to take this shower you long to take, don't deny it, I can see it in your eyes. And I'll put some clothes on your bed for you to wear. And no no's, you'll wear them, end of the discussion!"

I did not try to debate for I wanted to be friendly. She showed me to my room and told me that the one next to mine was Jace's, across was Alec's and next to his, it was hers. Then she left me alone, and I rushed to take my shower, but when I arrived in the bathroom, I froze. There were two doors. The one I just came through, and another one just in front of it. I looked at the bathroom, and when I saw boys' stuffs, it hit me : I had to share the bathroom with ... Jace! Why? Two girls, two boys, why was I stuck with a boy then! And _him_ above it all! I was so eager to take my shower, now, not so much. What if he came while I was changing or in the shower. I went to the door and to my relief, it had a lock. Praying with all my heart that the lock was huts a one way lock, I closed the door and humped in the shower. God, it felt good. Nirvana good. I could have stayed there for hours, and when I finally snapped out of this ecstatic state I got out. Once all dry, I went to my room to find that Izzy had left a _dress_ on my bed. I stopped wearing dresses after the incident. But of course, she couldn't know about it. I took it, grabbed some trousers from one of my suit case and went to dress up in the bathroom. Once dressed I put my wet hair on a high pony tail and looked at my reflection. I really needed to get out in the sun! My skin was ghostly white. The dress was pale green and would have been nice without my trousers, I must confess that. But when it realized that the dress had a V neck-line, I decided that I would wear a sweater on it. I unlocked Jace's bathroom door and was on my way to go back to my room when I heard a voice. Who am I kidding, I knew this voice.

"So Izzy didn't manage to change you into a real girl?"

I froze my back facing him. I did not want to turn, but having a conversation like that was really rude.

"Did you wash away your witty comments away, along with the dirty oil."

Relax, it's not like he's going to hurt you. I kept repeating that to myself and finally had the guts to turn and face him. I saw him checking me out, and just that made me take a step back. I saw in his eyes the hurt and incomprehension and before he could say anything, I ran in my room and leaned against the bathroom door once I had slammed it. 'Way to go Clary! Now you officially are a freak!' I heard a slight knock on the corridor room, I quickly put on a large KoRn sweater before opening it. It was Izzy who did not seem very happy on how I accompanied her nice dress. I tried to make it better

"Thank you for the dress, I really like its color."

"So why don't we see it?" I pulled the hem and showed it to her.

"Man, we have a lot to do! A dress is suppose to show skin and make men drool all over you, you know that Clary, don't you?" All too well.

"I don't really wear dresses anymore. But see, I'm wearing yours." I smiled, hoping she would drop it off.

"With _trousers_! This is actually blasphemy!"

"Izzy drop it. If she's not a girl, it's not your fault. Now let's go eat before I starve to death!"

Izzy growled before leaving me alone with Jace. I saw him noticing the addition of the sweater. He signed me to follow him and said:

"Come on, let's go to the kitchen before Izzy take it on her to cook and we all end in the hospital." I chuckled.

"Um, thank you."

"For what?"

"Saving me from ... You know."

"That was only a set back unfortunately for you. Izzy always dreamt of having a life-size doll, and now she has you! You're going to suffer!"

That made him laugh, and so I decided to ignore him for the rest of the way. But still, he did not talk about the bathroom incident, and I was grateful for that. I did not want to have this conversation. When we entered the kitchen, Izzy was arguing with Alec on how she was capable on cooking. Alec looked literally frightened by the idea of Izzy even holding a pot. Well, two persons afraid of her cooking, I was so not tasting whatever she would prepare!

"I'll cook, don't worry."

"You can cook?" Alec looked at me doubtfully, but hey, that was a start, there was no longer hatred in his eyes.

"It's not that difficult." Izzy looked at me, hurt. "I mean, I used to cook a lot with my Mom, we don't go out much, so we have to keep the food interesting." Phew nice save.

I looked at what she had taken out of the cupboard: chickpeas, lentils, tomatoes, onions, chive, corn, zucchinis, garlic. Well if they had rice and soy sauce, Chinese it was. I started chopping, mashing and stirring while the three of them were looking at me. God, how I did not like being the center of attention.

"Well, look who have at least on girl gene in her." Alec chuckled and I glared at Jace.

"Hey, caveman, it's not because I'm a girl that I can cook, it's because I was raised like that that I can cook!"

"Caveman?" Izzy did her best to hide her smile before bursting out loud, holding her stomach and it made me smile. So I was not her ideal friend, bit at least, I made her laugh, it's a good start isn't it.

"Dinner's ready."

"Finally, I'm starving."

"Next time, grow a pair and cook."

"Clary, Clary, Clary. If only you knew. I don't need to grow ..."

"Jace shut up and help us put on the table!" Izzy smiled at me, and I thank her by smiling back. I didn't know how or why, but I could feel that we would be good friends, even close friends.

~.o.O.o.~

After dinner, I went in my room to put all my stuff in the closet and bathroom (dreading each time I had to go in there). Then I changed in my pajamas which were only a really shirt, with Dark Vader's mask on it (yes I'm a nerd but come on Star Wars!) I started taking my stretch pad out, when I thought better of it and called Simon, and then my Mom, and lucky me, Luke was there. As soon as I hang up on them, Izzy barged in the room saying that we should coordinate our costumes.

"What costumes?"

"For the Halloween party! Clary keep up!"

"Oh that, I'm not going?"

"What? Why?"

"Halloween parties are only a reason for slutty girls to dress sluttier than usual."

"Good things we're not slutty girls then. Come on Clary, you have to come! It'll be fun we good dress as sidekicks, or even better villain and good guy! Please, pretty please! If you don't come, I'll have to go on my own."

"What do you mean? What about your brothers?"

"Alec is not going if Jace isn't going, and Jace is not going if you're not." She made me puppy eyes, Puss had nothing to envy her. "Alright, but I want trousers, no leather, a decent shirt and I get to choose our duo." She hysterically nodded to all my requests, way too happy about us going to a party.

"We should do, ... Harley Quinn and Catwoman. With your body and hair, you're going to make all the boys swoon!"

"Ooh and I have the perfect idea for your make up!"

"By the way, um, " I started stuttering, and strangely, she seemed to know what my question was.

"I don't know, he didn't say, just mumbled something about having to watch over ... um, watching over you because you might ... "

"Oh, I get it! He thinks that because I'm small, I can't take care of myself!"

"No, no Clary, it's just that he doesn't know how to ..." But it was already to late, I was already out of my room and pounding at his door. When he opened it he leaned against the frame and smiled. Izzy had joined me on the corridor and Alec had opened the door of his room, certainly due to the noise I was making.

"If you're afraid of sleeping alone, I guess I can make some place for you in my bed."

I did not even try to talk back to him, I just slapped him with all my force. He stumbled a bit and held a hand to his cheek. Both Alec and Izzy were standing gaping.

"What was that for!?"

"Who the hell do you think you are to decide if I need protection or not! I am not some petite damsel in distress and you are no fucking attentive escort! You don't know me, and my height ain't a reliable measurement of my ability to take care of myself! So fuck off!"

"Clary, I ..."

I turned my back and went back to my room. I saw from the corner of my eyes Alec and Izzy smiling and I slammed my door. As soon as I was alone, I took a chair and blocked the bathroom door : I was chickening out, and I did not want to see him coming from the door in the middle of the night to strangle me in my sleep. I collapsed on the bed, trying to find some sleep, but I couldn't. It's not like if I wasn't tired, I was exhausted, but sleep kept on slipping on me. I turned again and again in the bed begging for it to come. I was watching the digital numbers telling me 'Only 7 hours to sleep, 6, 5.' When I couldn't take it anymore, I went to the bathroom to drink some water, being as silent as a mouth, but when I switched on the light I almost let out a scream. Jace was standing just in front of me, in the same position that I was. But instead of looking scared to death, he was ... undressing me?! I looked down at what I was wearing and when I realized that my shirt was mid tights, I acted like any girl would, I shrieked and pulled the hem of my shirt down. I was crouching, my eyes closed to hold back the tears that traitorously appeared behind my eyelids.

"You should really stop acting like that. It doesn't really feel good for me when you think that with just one look I could hurt you."

I took it on myself to look up and immediately wished I didn't. He was _shirtless_. How was is suppose to sleep now with that image in my head. Why did he have to be this perfect? The abs that his shirt was hiding earlier were screaming to be touched. I looked a bit more up, and when I saw his arms, I just wanted them to surround me. His face was really worried, and I could see the concern in his eyes. Still, he hadn't move from his spot, as I haven't from mine. I straightened myself and avoided his stare. I know he was searching for eye contact, but I ken that I couldn't do it.

"Sorry for walking on you."

And with that I turned and closed the door, but just before I acted on it, I popped my head back in the bathroom, and looking to everything but him, I said :

"And sorry for earlier, I got ... It won't happen again."

Then I went back to my bed and I prayed for sleep to come. But it never came. I kept on thinking on what he said. Now I understood why he thought that he should protect me. As hard as I tried to play the big girl earlier, he saw right through me and new how ridiculously fragile I was. So much for me being a bad ass. I didn't know how I would be able to face him on the morning.

~.o.O.o.~

The alarm clock ringed too early as usual. As I was snoozing it, Izzy barged in.

"Waky, waky, sleepy head. It's been half an hour that your alarm is ringing."

"Izzy! Let me sleep!" I throw a pillow at her that she dodged without a problem.

"No, no, no! We don't have time, I have to do your hair and your make up."

"I'm not a Barbie." I said, rolling in my head while she was opening the curtains. "Izzy! Pleaaaaaase!"

She was not having it, she ripped my sheets from me and and threw me in the bathroom. Once I realized where I was, I froze and relaxed, he was not there. I undressed and before humping in the shower, I put on some Lordi on my phone to wake me. As I was scrubbing myself, I heard a door opening.

"Izzy, go back! I know how to wash myself!"

"We should really establish a schedule, because this is not going to work for me!"

And a door slammed and I let myself fall in the tub, mortified. I gathered myself before the tears could come, and I went back to my room after brushing my teeth.

"It took you long enough!"

"It's not my fault, I, I, ..."

"I know, I heard. Anyway put that on, I'll go take my straightener."

As soon as she was out I quickly put on what she gave me, put my hair in a bun, and before she could come back with her torture instruments, I deserted my room and headed to the kitchen. I found there a very amused Alec and a less amused Jace who was cooking bacon and eggs. Why? (Note the desperate tone). I took an glass of water, being closer to Jace that I could bare.

"You'd better grab a plate, before Alec eats it all."

Okay, he was trying to be nice, how was I suppose to tell him that there was no way in hell I would eat that? Izzy saved by screaming. Well her scream was a declaration of war, but it helped on the Jace situation.

"Clary, get your ass back here, you're not supposed to see anybody right now!"

As her voice drew closer I grabbed an apple, my sweater (how the hell did it get here!) and shushed the boys before flying.

~.o.O.o.~

I was in front of the literature class, when I realized that in my hurry to escape Izzy, I forgot all my school stuff! 'This is what we call, being stupid!'

"I agree." I turned and saw Jace with my bag swinging in his hand. Wraith did I say that out loud.

"Well, thank you for my bag."

"You're welcome."

I signed, hesitating to go to class with him, when I made up a decision. I turned and headed to entrance doors.

"And where are you going?"

"Why are you agin following me?"

"If you want to ditch, you'd better head to the parking lot, there's a small aperture in one of the fence. It'll be easier than going through the entrance doors, where anyone can literally see that you're ditching."

"Thank you."

I went to the parking lot, with him still following me, and to be honest, I was glad he did. I didn't know where was the aperture, nor what to do once I was out : I've never ditched a class in my all life. Mom is so going to kill me!

As soon as we were out, I felt lighter. All the pressure I was feeling was gone, and it felt good. I was not even embarrassed to be around Jace anymore, even after the several incidents that we had. I looked at him, happy as can be.

"So what do we do now?"

"First, I'll do that." He slowly rose his hand to my face, and I felt my face blush. His eyes were steady in mine and my heart was beating fast. So fast it was blasting in my ears. His fingers went to my hair, and as I realized what might come, I could not help but feel afraid and wanting in the mean time. It was like two parts of me were fighting : the wild Clary, and the wise, calm Clary. Our gaze never broke when ...

~.o.O.o.~

**Mohahahahahah, I'm so evil! And I love it! Hi hi, but come on, I had to put at least one cliffhanger! So I managed to write quicker than I thought (well, truth is I really wanted to write Jace's part, so quickly finished Clary). And I actually like what I've done with her, better than what I was going to do first.**

**Anyway, I actually need your help. I'm planning on bringing Max, but I don't know if I make die like in the original story, or if I let him live. Tell me what you like better (you have time, he's not coming for another 3 to 4 chapters).**

**Okay, take care, and thank you to you all for following and favoriting this story (it feels so good to wake up or come back from your finals and see that people actually liked your story)**

**Okay I stop talking (I'm becoming an Izzy ?), and don't forget to tell me if there are some stuff you don't like, like that I can't stop doing it.**

**Cheers.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi, so you see, I'm not that evil. I'm already updating the new Chapter. I could have gone wild and make you wait a whole week, but who am I kidding, I love updating, so I won't do that. **

**As you could have guessed, this chapter will be from Jace's point of view, and as you all know, Cassandra Clare owns everything (even us mohahahahahah). **

**Enjoy **

~.o.O.o.~

This girl was weird, not to say crazy. And with a death wish. Nobody ditches Izzy, especially for a makeover! Even Alec and I followed what she said when she was changing our wardrobes. Izzy was furious with us for letting her go like that and surprisingly, Alec took her defense:

"Let her be Izzy. How couldn't she want to run away between you torturing her to transform her in a Barbie, and Jace keeping on trapping her in the bathroom."

I gave him an evil glare. I told him that in confidence because I thought he wouldn't tell anyone, especially not _Izzy_. But now that she knew, she was going to kick up a row about it!

"Oh, so now you set up booby traps in the bathroom! And there I was thinking you were a gentleman to ladies!"

"First there was no booby traps, just bad luck. Second Clary is not a 'lady'!"

"Well what is she, if she's not a lady?"

"She's just, um, Clary."

She grinned and I hated myself for this statement. She was so not letting this go, and I saw in her eyes something that I couldn't define, but it was scary.

"Well, 'just Clary' forgot her bag, you'd better go and get it for her."

And now I was with her, ditching school, perfectly aware of how this would look in the eyes of the other students and the professor, and that Maryse was going to kill me for letting her new protégé skip school. But I couldn't care less because I was seeing another side of her. Clary, who always thought before talking, always seemed to be afraid of something, was now giggling for no reason and smiling to the air. She closed her eyes, and for a moment, her face seemed so peaceful, I'm sure she could have bring the World Peace with that serenity. She opened her eyes and smiled when our gazes met. Yeah, she was definitely more relaxed. She asked me what we were suppose to do, which I didn't know. I knew what I wanted to do with her, but the way she looked at me every time we were alone made me think that it was definitely not what she wanted to do. But, she was looking at me, and the way she was doing it was sending shivers all over my body. _Again_. I tried to steady my heart, thinking that she was just a girl, and I was just a boy, and she was beautiful, so damn beautiful, with her big green eyes and her small freckles spread on her nose and cheekbones, and her lips, full and begging me to kiss them. I raised my hand to her face, but before I could touch her, I saw a glimpse of fear in her eyes, so I undid her pony tail and looked away. Was I that frightening for her to always fear me like that? I fisted my hands and put them in my pockets before she could see them.

"You look better with your hair like that. Maybe we could go grab a coffee as you didn't really eat this morning."

"You know a place?"

I knew a place, but I was certainly not going to bring her there. I did kind of hooked up with one or two of the waitresses there, and I did not want her to see this side of me.

"How about we go somewhere you like?"

She nodded and started walking. I followed her, still wondering how I could bring fear in her like that. But it was more than that. She wouldn't show her body, or let her hair down, or even wear a dress. This qualified as weird, didn't it? Every time I saw more than she was willing to show, I couldn't help but stare, and she shrieked, _literally shrieked._ But now that I was thinking about it, maybe it was a good thing that she was distant with me, because if she hadn't been, when I caught her in the shower this morning, I would have join her without a second thought. Geez, what was she turning me into?

"This is a place I used to go to every morning."

"Well, let's go there then." She smiled before leading the way and saying.

"Cool."

~.o.O.o.~

As we entered the coffee shop, she brightened before bolting to someone and therefore, leaving me alone in the door frame. I frowned as a saw her unconditionally hugging some guy. He hug her back and sat her next to him. As she sat, she looked around, and once she spotted me, she signed to join them. While we ordered, I sat next to her, observing the boy. He had brown slightly curled hair, and a slightly tan skin. He was rather tall for what I could see and his clear brown eyes were devouring Clary. Great, she brought me as a fifth wheel at her impromptu date. I looked at her, terribly offended when I noticed something : she was not looking at him like he was looking at her. Well, look who was being stuck in the friend-zone. I was internally laughing while hoping, that she would not relegate me there too. Wait? Did I just say that I wanted to be more that her friend? Who am I kidding? I wanted to be with her since the first time I laid eyes on her and saw this sparkle inside of her.

"Jace, this Simon, Simon, this is Jace."

I nodded and he did the same, which made Clary roll her eyes.

"Guys and their 'virility'. Talking won't take it away you know."

"Sure, let's talk. Aren't you supposed to be in class? In your super fancy school?"

"And you, aren't you supposed to be leaving, you're going to be late."

"On my way Fray."

And he got up and left, Clary followed him. I stayed there, wondering how could this boy bother me that much. It annoyed me that she was so free and happy with. _I_ should be the one to make her happy. I passed my hand in my hair, not really knowing was wrong with me. This was not me, I didn't care for anyone but my family.

"So what do you want to do today?"

"Don't know. What do _you_ want to do? You were the one who wanted to skip school."

"I know, but I've actually never done it. Plus, I figured that you'd go to some date or something." I raised an eyebrow at her.

"What kind of men do you take me for?"

She bit her lips and looked down blushing before facing me, anger in her eyes.

"I'm not stupid you know! I mean look at you, look at me, I know you have better things to do than hanging out with a scr... with me. I don't mind, just don't play wizmaiemossionslikzat."

She mumbled the last part, and even though I did not quite catch what it was about I didn't push it on her. I was too stunned by what she said : she was thinking that she was out of my league, and that I couldn't care less about her. Man, why do girls always have to make things so complicated. I passed my hand in my hair, and then I leaned toward her and held her chin up to make her look at me. She shivered, and there again was this glimpse of fear, who was becoming _annoyingly_ familiar if you ask me, in her eyes.

"I'm having a great time right here with you. In fact let's go somewhere."

And with that I got up and gave her my hand for her to take it. She hesitated a second before intertwining her fingers with mines. Man, it felt good! She had a tiny _tiny_ hand, so soft to touch. I could feel on her middle finger a small bump due to too many hours of drawing. I secured her hand in my hand, not wanting her to go away. Ever! I led her outside, and in the subway and once we reached destination, I finally let go of her hand, feeling like I was losing something crucial in my life. She looked around and she narrowed her eyes.

"You really think that I am not a girl, that's it, isn't it?"

"No, why? Izzy comes here all the time. Actually, if you want to change, there should be 'some' of her clothes in her closet." Saying that, I gave her the key to Izzy's locker.

"Always with the right keys. Aren't you a perfect master of the keys."

She took the key and went to the girls locker. I went to my own locker and changed into sportswear before heading back to the room. I don't know what got over me to bring her to a sports room, but it felt right. I was taking two pairs of boxing gloves when she entered. She was wearing yoga pants and her sweater. Her hair were back in a pony tail.

"You know, boxing in a sweater is not that easy."

"I'll manage."

"I won't stare, promise."

She looked at me, evaluating if she could trust me, and took off her sweater to reveal a white tank top. I looked away as soon as her her head popped out and threw her a pair of gloves. She caught them, but did not put them on.

"I'm not fighting with you."

"Why not? Afraid to loose?"

"To kick your ass to tomorrow, more like it. Remember yesterday, it gave me the taste for your blood."

I started laughing out loud at the idea of this tiny piece of person hurting me. Sure it did hurt when she had slapped me, but it was not a physical pain. I kept on laughing when a glove hit my face.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"Stop laughing! It's not attractive when you snarl like a pig."

"I'm the pig?" She nodded and I shook my head. "Well, the _pig_ will show you something _marvelous_. This is a bag, hit it, instead of my gorgeous face."

She looked suspiciously at the bag, and after putting her gloves on, she gave a small unfaithful punch.

"This is not _Kung Fu Panda._ Mean it when you hit it. Let it out."

"Let what out?"

"Whatever you have crawling in you."

She looked back at the bag and I went to the rower, giving her some space. I heard her punching and really meaning it and suddenly it became more violent. I stopped rowing to look at her as she gave a brutal punch to the bag who went flying on the opposite way before coming back and hitting her back, throwing her to the ground. I ran to her and when I was at her level, she stood up and started heading to the locker room. I grabbed her shoulders and made her turn to see if she was alright, and she was everything but alright. She had a serious nose bleed and she was crying. As soon as she saw me, she put her head in her hands to hide herself, and, not knowing what else to do, I took her in my arms. She cried for what seemed like hours and I knew it wasn't because of her nosebleed. She was crying for something I apparently couldn't protect her from. Some demon of her past that made so wary toward strangers. Especially men, since she did not seem to have any problems hanging out with Izzy. Could it be ... I shook the idea out of my head thinking that she was just a bit too prude, and held Clary a little tighter. Slowly she stopped crying and our embrace started electrifying my veins.

"I'm sorry, your shirt is a mess now."

I let go of her and looked down on my shirt it was wet and bloody, but at least both her tears and nosebleed had stopped. Before even thinking about it, I took it off and thought better of it when she looked at me with big green shocked eyes. But she startled me by saying :

"You have _tattoos_!"

"You didn't see them yesterday night when you were checking me out?"

She glared at me, but I could see her cheeks getting slightly darker. She started moving toward me, like if she was suddenly hypnotized by my body (not that I minded, she finally was acting normal). I was frozen, unable, and unwilling, to move, and when her hand touched me, I closed my eyes to not lose it. This girl was going to be the end of me : how could I react like that by just her touching me? She traced the lines of one of my tattoo, making me shiver and she muttered :

"I always wanted a tattoo. And yours are so ... _magnificent_!"

She kept her fingers on my body and traced the one that was next to my heart. She could surely feel my heart beating at an abnormal rate.

"What does this one mean?"

"Strength." I let out in a breathe. Not able to hold back anymore, I grabbed her hand to make her stop. She did not say anything and just stepped back. I snapped my eyes open to realize that she had disappeared. I quickly put my shirt back on and went to the lockers to pick up my bag before going in the street. She couldn't have gone so far, it was not like she knew the area, she had seemed lost when we arrived. As I looked left, I saw a flash of red, and I bolted this way.

"Clary, wait up!" She stopped and waited, but did not face me. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Where were you going?"

"Nowhere, I just needed some fresh air." She kept her head down and I knew she was on the verge of tears. The problem was I didn't know why, and I couldn't do a thing against it. That's when it hit me.

"You said you wanted a tattoo?" She nodded. "Let's get one."

She looked up, and her eyes grew wide open. She opened her mouth, probably to say that she shouldn't, but I silenced her and led her to the tattoo shop I knew all too well.

"Hi Hodge! We're here for a tattoo."

"Again? Jace, you know I'm not even suppose to touch your body for another year right?"

"Good then, it's not for me, but for her."

I put my hands on Clary's shoulders and led her to the chair. Hodge looked at her, then at me before shaking his head.

"Jace, you want me to go to jail?"

"No, why?"

"How old are you sweetheart?"

"16."

Hodge hesitated for a long moment, looking at Clary in odd way. Like if he knew her from somewhere, and that she was a treasure now.

"Okay, let's do it then. What do you want?"

She thought about it for a moment before looking at me in the eye. I swear, every time her bright green eyes were looking at me like that, I felt like she was looking into my soul.

"Strength!"

"You sure?"

"Positive."

~.o.O.o.~

"People are such liars!"

"What do you mean?"

"It hurt like a bitch! What about the bee sting feel like!"

"Ha ha. It gets better over the tattoos."

"Like I'm ever letting a needle near my skin!"

But still, she smiled to herself, and I knew that she was going to get another one pretty soon. We stayed in front of the doors of our private quarters. She was leaning against the door, the sleeve of her sweater up. She kept looking in awe at her bandage.

"It was wort it through." She looked up at me and bit her lip. "Thank you. You made me live a particularly ... _exiting_ day. Thank you."

And with that she kissed my cheek. My eyes grew wide open and before I knew it I had my hands in both sides of her head. I couldn't stop but look at her, look at her pretty face, at her green emerald eyes steady on me, at her half open lips. I started to to lean closer to her when Maryse's voice echoed in the corridor.

"Jace!"

"Damn it!" I muttered.

I fisted my hand before straightening up. Clary lowered her head and quickly made her right arm disappear under her sleeve. Maryse's eyes travelled from her to me.

"Hello Clary. I'm Maryse. Can you just give me a moment with Jace, please?"

Clary nodded before looking at me, annoyed. Apparently she thought that I was in trouble. When she vanished behind the doors I felt like a part was leaving me. Maryse snapped me out:

"You can't do that again, do you hear me?"

"It never bothered you that I skipped school before."

"I don't if you skip school, you just don't skip it with Clary, and if you do, you don't go out."

"Why?"

"She did not come here because she _wanted_ too, but because she _needed_ too. So if you skip again together, you make sure that she stays within the Institute's ground!"

"But why?"

"End of the discussion!"

And with that, she went back to her office. I went straight to my room, slamming the door once I was in. What was that all about? What did it mean she _needed_ to be here? And what was that with Maryse creating new rules about cutting class? It was all so confusing. But the most confusing part was the peck that Clary gave me. I knew she meant it as innocent as it was, but it turned me on, a way I could never expect. I laid on my bed, thinking of what could have happen if Maryse did not interrupt me when Izzy barged in. Well, when it's not the mother, it's the daughter.

"Jace! You're going to get us Taki's."

"No."

I did not want to go there, knowing who I might see. Izzy came closer, an evil grin on her face. As she sat, believe it or not, I felt scared.

"What?"

"If you don't, I'll tell Clary how you feel about her."

"Well, go ahead. She'll just know how delusional you are then."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Jace do you think I am blind? Or stupid for that matter? You can go deny it all you want I know. So go get us Taki's and I'll make her super hot for you to make your move tomorrow."

"Izzy..."

"I'm not joking Jace Wayland!"

I growled before getting up and taking my jacket. Once I was out I cursed at Izzy, realizing how devilish sisters could be. Once at Taki, I sat, waiting for a waitress, and the one came to take my order was the one I dreaded to see. The reason why I didn't want to come this morning because I did not want Clary to see her.

"Hi, Kaelie."

~.o.O.o.~

**So here was chapter five, not really proud of it (the part I wanted to write from Jace's POV will come in his next chapter). **

**You have to know, that I won't write that much about their time in school because first I don't know how the US system really works, and second, it's not like they'll spend so much time in school anyway, and third, I have enough school without adding more in my writings :p. **

**Anyway, hope you still like the story so far, and just Clary's chapter might be not as long as usual ... You'll see why later. **

**And don't forget to tell if you'd like Max to live or not. His arrival is upon us ( Pam Pam Pam) **

**Anyways, you know the drift about the credits, so **

**Cheers (I'll try to update later today)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here comes chapter seven with Clary's point of view. Don't forget that this chapter will be rather small, don't feel disappointed when the end comes. Like usual, Cassandra Clare owns every character of this story. **

**Just something I forgot to tell you at the end of last chapter. I really wanted Jace to get Clary's first tattoo, because it is how it happens in the book. And I know that she normally gets a iratze rune, but, it didn't really made sense to the story to made her have a healing rune, so, well. This how I made it happened. **

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter 7**

~.o.O.o.~

As I laid in my bed, I tried to calm my heart who was beating dastardly. This day had been a roller foster ride for my emotions. Jace was making me nervous for all the wrong reasons : for the way he always looked at me, like if I was something precious to him, for the way he held like if he could protect me from everything, for the way he made me feel good about myself. I put a pillow on my head and screamed like Hell. I was not supposed to feel anything remotely close to what I was feeling right now. I was not supposed to have butterflies partying in my stomach at the simple thought of Jace! I was supposed to be empty and let the darkness swallow me! How could he make me feel like that when I barely knew him? How could he make me long for his hands on me, his body against mine, his lips on mine? All I wanted was for him was for him to hold me to my death, and never let go of me. But every time that we had an intimate moment, he turned away, and changed the mood as quickly as he could. Except for a few moment ago, when we were both at the doors, back from our wild day. I finally got the courage to kiss him (well, on the cheek, but still, it was a start) and he had caged me against the wall with his hands. I desperately wanted for him to touch me with them. To feel the callousness of his hands my skin. To see his golden skin against my ghostly one. He had leaned as if to kiss me, but we got interrupted, and I couldn't help but feel happy when he swore. It was like if he was as disappointed as I was, and I actually liked the fact that he wanted to kiss me.

I suddenly got up and put a CD of _Alice Cooper _in the radio and I blasted the volume. I sat at he window pan, with my sketch pad on my knees and I let the pen lead my fingers and cleanse my mind, heart and soul of anything. I drew on and on, sometimes singing along with Alice, and finally, I looked to what I've done. _Jace_. For the first time in a long time that my drawing was complete, it had to be Jace. Why (note the desperate tone). I was supposed to get my mind off of him, and now I was drawing him ... as an angel! A shirtless golden angel, with his tattoos all in the right places all over his golden torso, his golden hands reaching for something, large fluffy white wings with glints of gold all over them, and his golden eyes looking straight at me. But something wasn't right. His expression was off. The picture was perfect, a perfect replicate of his golden perfect self, except for the eyes part. Jace would never look at me like that. Jace's look was all about care, playfulness, protection, curiousness and ... something else. Something that was not in this drawing! Argh! I shouted out of frustration before tearing the drawing away from the pad and rolling it into a ball. I threw it at the door when it opened to reveal Alec, and of course, the drawing hit him.

"Do I have to take as a 'you're not hungry'? Because according to Jace you haven't eaten at all today."

"Sorry! I'm coming."

He looked at me, like if I was insane, making me sure that he had heard me shouting. Once he closed the door, I felt the urge to scream some more, but did not dare for I was too afraid that he was still in the corridor. I left my pad on my bed, and after turning off the music, I headed to the kitchen. Once I got there, I heard them having a conversation about how the guys should dress for the party.

"We could go as Sam and Dean Winchester."

"From Supernatural?"

"Clary, help me and tell them that dressing as Sam and Dean is not dressing up for Halloween!"

"Well, Izzy, to tell you the truth if they have guns and daggers, they could. It actually only fits, the Winchester being hunters and stuff. Supernatural, Halloween. It is bound to happen!"

"Ah ha! You see!" Jace was feeling so victorious while he was looking at Izzy.

"On the other hand, you guys do not look at them at all! And Dean is supposed to be smaller than Sam, and you guys have the same height. And none of them is blond! Nor brunette. They're auburns. And you do not have the class of Sam nor Dean! Especially not Dean!"

Izzy chuckled as she took the food out of the Tupperware's to put them on plates and I paled. Looked like I was not eating tonight either.

"Well it would be easier if you'd tell us how you were going to dress up! We could match!"

"We're going as ..."

"Hush Clary! Are you crazy? If we match up, nobody will dare coming to us, they'll all think we're all together!"

"But we will be going all together anyway!"

"Clary, pleeeeeeease!"

I shrugged not really caring if the guys knew about our costumes or not. Jace, on the other hand was not having it.

"How is this fair? You get to veto, and we don't!"

"Because it is like that, now drop it Jace, I'm warning you!" God, she could be very frightening when she wanted to, even I felt threatened by her tone.

"But, ..."

"How was Kaelie?"

Her eyes were steady on Jace, and for a split second, I had the impression that he looked at me, scared. But as it did not last, I thought that I imagined it. Still his mood darkened, and he grabbed a plate telling easy to shut up. Izzy smiled, apparently happy about what she had done and Alec's eyes kept going from Jace to me. Okay, if I didn't know that I was missing something, now I couldn't ignoring it. I drank a glass of water and got up, ready to go back to my drawing.

"Where are you going? You haven't even eaten a thing!" Geez, why did he have to pay attention like that?

"I'm not very hungry." Of course, it was at that exact moment that my stomach decided to growl so loud it could awaken the Loch Ness' monster, making blush like a tomato.

"Sure. That noise was just the alien in your stomach trying to get out." I rolled my eyes at him. He looked up at me (and I felt Izzy's and Alec's gaze on me also). I sighed:

"I don't eat animal products."

I closed my eyes, waiting for the moment I desperately wanted to avoid. The whys, the rationalization, the 'we are meant to eat meat' talk. But it never came.

"And? That doesn't keep you from eating vegetables. What will happen if you faint from malnutrition in the shower? I'll have to carry your naked body to..."

"Jace! Man, control your hormones and fantasies! Here Clary, take that it's vegan and it's delicious."

I took the plate she gave me, surprised about how things went. Usually people went all ballistic when they hear you're vegan. It felt good to eat with friends without having to justify myself.

"Our little brother is in his 'no meat' phase. So we have a lot of vegetarian stuff, you'll just have to check if they're good for you too."

"You have a little brother?"

"Yes, you'll see him during the holiday. His name is Max."

~.o.O.o.~

I've been in Izzy's room for what seemed like hours. I did wanted to get dressed myself, but she wasn't having it. All day long she had texted me about how she was going to torture me. Of course in her world it seemed fun and appealing, but the words 'makeup', 'curler', 'heels' were not my favorite ones. As soon as school finished, she tore me from the conversation I was having with Jace, and pulled me in her room. Her room always so pink, with tons of clothes and accessories everywhere. I was in another dimension.

Even though I tried to fight her every chance I got, sheshe won every time. That's how I ended up with a Harley Quinn costume who did not look like Harley's jersey, half of my hair dyed in black, painted black and red nails, 5 inches wedge heels and super tights sham leather trousers, a corset, and a full face make up. Once she seemed satisfied with herself, she made me look at us in her looking glass. And we were hot! She was wearing her costume to the perfection. The leather following each of her curves until it brought all your attention to her breast. She didn't zipped her slip all the way up, she was going to make men drool to their death. She didn't wear a mask to show her perfect smoky cat eyes and wore a hard headband with cat's ears. She had curled her hair, and let them loose. Her lips were red and she had a cat neckless. Except from her neckline, you couldn't see any part of her skin, she was bounding you to look at her breast. She had a huge belt at her waist, curving her a little bit more, and she had attached a whip to it. And to finish it all, she was wearing stiletto boots. She was more than hot, she was _super hot_. She cat walked to a corner of her room and picked up a mallet. I smiled while thinking that Izzy didn't do thing in half.

"I never should have proposed this costumes. Everyone is going to stare!"

"Isn't that great. You rock Clary. I'll always come to you go r costumes idea!"

"Sure, you do that."

And with that she took my hand and led me to the corridor to bang at her brothers rooms. Alec got out, dressed as Beetlejuice. He had died his hair green, and done the all make up on his face which surprised me. He applied the last touch of his costume : his rotten teeth. I kept on on staring at him until he cleared his throat. I turned my head, embarrassed as could be, and headed to the doors saying that we would be late.

"Not even waiting for me Harley?"

I blamed, realizing that for a second I had finally forgot about Jace. I turned to see that he was dressed as the Phantom of the Opera. His cape flying behind him as he came to me. I looked at his mask, wondering if he had gone as far as 'destroying' his face underneath it. I kept on looking at him, feeling my heart falling when it shouldn't. But let's face it, the Phantom had always been one of by biggest fictional crush, because of the beauty and purity of his art, of his love, of his soul. Jace was staring at me, and I was internally thanking Izzy for the makeup appliance, keeping my blushing away from his gaze. His golden eyes were overflowing with all sort of emotions that I would have been so happy to satisfy.

~.o.O.o.~

**Here was the short chapter 7. So it is normal that we don't have a real description of Clary's costume, let's Jace get the pleasure to describe her. **

**Hey we had the first mention of Max, who still on a possible death row. Don't know yet. Tell me how you feel about it. **

**So don't worry about the shortness of this chapter, the next one will be a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong one. Promise. And if you're lucky, I might update it later on today (again). **

**Well, hope that you liked it. And you know the drift about the credits and me not owning anything (not even the Phantom). **

Cheers


	8. Chapter 8

**Here comes chapter 8. With Jace's point of view. **

**So of course, and again, I do not own anything, all rights go to the wonderful Cassandra Clare. **

**Oh and lemons are on their way at the end of the chapter .**

**Enjoy. **

~.o.O.o.~

"Izzy, I'm going to kill you!" I growled between my teeth.

"Why? I told you I'd bring the the gorgeous out of her." She was wickedly smiling at me.

"She was already gorgeous! You made her _too_ damn hot. Every guy is going to be all over her tonight!"

"You're coming guys?"

We were at the doors opening of the parking lot, and Clary was waiting for us, Alec out of sight. Izzy bolted shouting that she wanted to be on the passenger seat leaving Clary and I alone for two seconds that seemed an eternity. She had the light of the moon on her back, giving a darker side to her costume. Her _costume_! I was still wondering how I managed to control myself when I saw her. Harley Quinn. I should have guessed, if there was Harley somewhere, she would have have to love it and to own a part of it. And she was owning her costume alright. She _was_ Harley Quinn. Her hair were divided in two angel wings, one black, the other with her natural hair color. Her face was whiter than usual, and that, added to the black smoky eyes, made her greens emeralds pop like ever. Her lips were red, bloody red, calling for me to cover them with mines. She had a spiky necklace and she was wearing a red corset over a black and red tank top, which made her breast pop and made me had to fight not to caress them. Her corset didn't go all the down, revealing a tiny bit of her stomach, just enough to make me want to let my fingers fly on her skin. She had long fingerless gloves, one red, the other black. On her belt, she had two guns, and her trousers were sticking to her skin with one leg red and one leg black. She had tight boots over them, again one of each colors, which made her taller, easier for me to grab and kiss her. If only we didn't had to go on this damn party. She looked at me and she tilted her head on the side, smiling. She was leaning on a massive mallet, so typical on Harley, she was definitely in her character. She took a pitchy high voice before telling me :

"Do you attend to stay here all night long? What's the point of dressing up then?"

The point of dressing up? Undressing you! Undressing you slowly and tasting every bit of your skin. I heavily sighed and hopped in the car. Clary sat next to me, and I did not know if I should thank Izzy for taking the front seat, or if I should hate her for leaving behind with Clary and all this electricity sparkling between us. My hand was itching to take hers, but I didn't. I don't know why, but she was intimidating me. Since Maryse caught me almost kissing her, I haven't had the guts to go forward, and she didn't do anything to go in this direction either. All day long, when we shared our classes or our lunch, she never mentioned what happened nor even shown that she was touched by was like she was resigned in us just being friends. Well, maybe she was, but I wasn't, especially not with her dressed like that!

~.o.O.o.~

Once we arrived at the party, Izzy grabbed Clary and lost them in the crowd saying that they had a lot of men to make drool. I growled knowing how their arrival was going to be appreciated by the masculine population and went to the bar to get a drink. Alec had disappeared, his mouth sucked by some glittery all dressed cat, leaving me alone, perfect prey for the many vultures that were coming to me. A blue fairy with blue wings and a very very short skirt and top cat-walked to me, a luxurious smile on her face. Even though she was wearing a blue mask, as soon as she was close enough I recognized her, her piercing blue eyes giving her away. She put her hands on me, places where they shouldn't be.

"Kaelie, I'm warning you, fuck off!"

"But Jacey, you never came back yesterday. I thought it was because you were going to make it up to me tonight. All night long."

And with that she started kissing my neck, her hands still on cock. If she had been a certain red headed girl, this would have been perfect, but this was Kaelie, and just the feeling of her on me made me shudder. She felt it, and after straightening up, she slapped me.

"Jace, this is not what we agreed!"

"I know we agreed on occasional sex, and no feelings. You're the one who's clinging on me!"

"Clinging? I just want my part, you're the one who went all soft for I don't who! You know what, when you'll get tired of her, I'll be where I always am." And she left.

Like this would ever happen : me getting tired of Clary! I started looking for her in the overflowing crowd. It wasn't that difficult to find her, I just needed to find the part where almost all the guys were, and she was in the center. Many guys were trying to get their hands on her and she was trying to let them down politely. I came closer when one of them, dressed as a Captain Jack Sparrow tried to kiss her. I was about to punch him when she beat me to it. She jammed the heel of her hand on his jaw, and kneed him. Once he was bending, she grabbed his hair and angrily said through her teeth:

"If you ever touch me again with your filthy hands I will rip your balls off, deep fry them in front of your bare eyes and make you eat them while I fuck you with your own dick. Got it?"

And with that, she turned away from him facing me. Her face immediately brightened up. Man, what I wouldn't do to keep her face always like that, especially when she was looking at me. She came to me, ignoring the chaos that she left behind. Once she was close enough to me, she grabbed my hand and led me to one of the French window. Once we were outside, she took in the fresh air inhaling like a drowning person gasping for air.

"I couldn't stay in anymore!" She started to whirl while giggling and she suddenly stopped to look up at the stars. She definitely had a few drinks.

"It's so sad, there are no stars in New York, only a few planes passing by, giving you the impression that stars _can_ move." She giggled. "As if that was possible! Ha ha ha!"

I took her hand while she was still looking up. She didn't say anything, nor try to remove her hand.

"I finally see what you meant when you said you didn't need protection. That was impressive!"

"Impressive?"

"I never took you as the fighting type. More like peace and love kind of stuffs."

"I used to be all about peace, it's just that ... people change." She had stopped looking up to look at her feet, and I saw that she was frowning. She muttered something.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that."

"I never should have worn this outfit. This isn't me."

"But Halloween is about being everything you're not. I'm sure that you're not a psycho killer in love with a mad man."

"Does this mean that you're not a sweet, nice and compassionate person?"

"The Phantom is not sweet, not nice and especially not compassionate!"

"Yes he is. He has the purest soul of us all, we're just too blind to see it. He does everything for his one true love but still ends up rejected at the end because of his appearance. Isn't it sad?"

She laid her head on my chest while locking her hands behind my neck. This felt so good. This felt so _right_. She started humming a lullaby and I made us spin to the rhythm of her humming. Even though we could still hear the muffled sound of the party, all my senses were focussed on her. On the sound of her voice, the feeling of her warm breath on my chest, the strawberry smell emanating from her hair, the fact that she was willingly with me, against me. Slowly, she lifted up her face to me, without a trace of fear in her eyes. This was it, this was our perfect moment. I started leaning closer, she closed her eyes, and I closed mine, ready to finally taste her when ... her fucking phone buzzed between us. She snapped her eyes opened and looked at me. I was inches of her face, inches away to kiss her! Again stolen by someone else interrupting us! I don't how many of this I would be able to take in.

"You should get that, it's starting to get annoying."

She detached herself from me, frowning, and took her phone out of her bra. This would explain why I felt the buzz so intensely.

"Simon?"

"..."

"Where are you?"

"..."

"How did you get there?!"

"..."

"Don't move! I'll come and get you. Don't move!"

She hung up, worry written all over her face, any trace of alcohol off of her face. She looked around before bolting to the crowd inside. I called her, but she ignored me, so I followed her. She kept on running to the entrance doors. I stopped she before she passed the doors. She was crying leaving black lines on her white face. Well, now she looked like the perfect Harley Quinn for Heath Ledger's Joker.

"Clary where are you going?"

"I have to go! Simon is lost downtown! He's lost and alone and he's _downtown_! What if something happens to him?"

"Clary you can't go there by yourself!"

"Watch me!"

She shook herself free and left the party, leaving me with no other choice but to follow her. She kept on running and running, not listening to me trying to reason her. I couldn't help but think of what Maryse told me about her being at the Institute for protection and now she was heading to one of the most dangerous part of town. Maryse was going to kill me, she had made me promise that we would not leave the party for no other reasons than going back home. The neighborhood around us started to get more and more sinister but that did not stop her. The only times that she stopped was to check on which street to take, which only made me assume that she knew where she was going very well. And finally she stopped for real. In front of a deserted hotel : Durmort. I gasped in realization. Meth dealers had based their headquarters there.

"Clary, you can't go in there!"

"I know where we are Jace! I didn't ask you to follow me! I have to go and help him! I have to!"

"But Clary ..."

"I know what I'm doing Jace."

She walked to the hotel, and entered. I followed her, a feeling of unease growing in me. I've already had to deal with meth junkies, and it was not something pretty to do. There were many junkies disguised in various characters lying on the floor. But that didn't stop her, she kept on walking turning now and then, like if she knew exactly where she was going when suddenly someone appeared in front of us.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here! You changed since last time, Clary! What happened to your flower dresses, and your innocent face?"

I looked at Clary, shocked that someone in this place would know her. She seemed fulminating.

"It's Halloween Raphael. Surely you've noticed, or maybe you dress as a vampire every fucking day?"

"Language Clary. I know some people who would not be very happy to hear you talking like that, nor to see you in this place." She ignored him.

"Where's Simon?"

"I don't know who you're talking about."

Clary shouted and lunched herself to him, but I stopped her before she could hit him.

"You'd better listen to your new boyfriend. What happened to the old one? Did you leave him because things got too ... _spicy_?"

"Shut up Raphael." Her voice was only a murmur full of pain and sorrow. "Just let me bring Simon home."

"Simon is here because he wants go, as usual. I never force anyone into anything unlike some people you know."

"Liar! Simon was clean before the party! He was clean at the party until your vampiry face drugged him! I'll kill you!"

As soon as she said that, she brought her foot hard on mine, making me release her. She jumped at Raphael's throat, kicking him all she could, she punched him in the nose, breaking it, scratched his face, kneed him, but before she could go any further he tackled her on the floor. I moved to help her, but three gorillas (literally gorillas, they were dressed like fucking _gorillas_) stopped me. Raphael was on Clary, his hands on hers to stop them from scratching him. Suddenly her left foot kicked him from behind and she pressed her hand on his left inner elbow. He started screaming out of pain.

"I know your dirty little secrets too Raphael. Bring me to Simon and I'll release the pressure."

He did not do anything and she pressed harder, making him scream even louder before conceding to her demand. She straightened up, and I was suddenly free. I ran to her, taking her in my arms, never feeling so useless in my entire life. Raphael led us to a dark room and in a split second Clary on her knees next to Simon, even though there were dozens of rats around him. He was dressed as Nightwing, but he had his mask off, and he was crying.

"Clary, I swear that ..."

She shushed him and took him on her arms, rocking him like a baby, his head resting on her breast.

"It's alright, I'll get you home."

~.o.O.o.~

I was waiting for Clary down at Simon's building. I kept remembering the end of the evening and still couldn't believe that she knew this world. That she knew this world well enough to be on first name bases with a meth dealer. This would explain why she wasn't scared of going in there, or why she was so confident on her ability to defend herself. But still, it was so _not_ Clary. The Clary that everyone knew was sweet, reserved and a little bit badass. The Clary that I knew was loving, independent and haunted by her past. This Clary was brave, scary and fearless. The combination of those three Clary gave _my_ Clary. I passed my hand in my hair, thinking on how the mention of her past had darkened her. This kept intriguing me. How come a meth dealer know her so well, he knew all about her past? She tore me away from my reflexion by appearing in my sight. She was apparently surprised to see me.

"I thought you would have gone back to the Institute."

"And leave going back alone? No way!"

"I'm a big girl, I would have find my way there."

She squatted, taking her head in her hands. I bowed to be at her level.

"Clary, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm just extremely exhausted."

"Let's get a cab and go home."

She nodded and stood up. I held for a yellow car and once we got in she fell asleep on my shoulder. I took her hand, wondering how could this tiny piece of woman be so strong. She had risk her life without a second thought to save her friend. One we were at the Institute, I took her in my arms, not daring to wake her up and carried her to her quarters. Once at our bedrooms level, I hesitated, and decided to take her to her own room. I didn't want her to think I took advantage of her during the night. I laid her down in her bed, and took her shoes off of her, before tucking her and going to the bathroom to take a shower. Once all cleaned, I went to my bed, laying on my back before sleep took over me.

~.o.O.o.~

I woke up to the feeling of someone laying next to me, I turned my head to see Clary. Her makeup damaged by crying, running, fighting and sleeping, but her outfit was still on. She had her eyes closed, and I did the same, feeling the sleep calling me back, but being so happy that she was here, in my arms, when suddenly I felt lips on mine. I snapped my eyes opened to see her kissing me passionately. I closed back my eyes, appreciating the feeling of her lips on mine. I was trying to keep it innocent, but she was not having it. In no time she was me begging for more entrance in my mouth. I happily let her in, feeling my arousal becoming harder and harder, and when I couldn't take it anymore, I flipped us for me to be on top of her. I left her lips to assault her neck, making her moan. Her moan alone sent shivers all over my body. My hands flew all over her body before finding the lace of her corset. I went back to kiss her while undoing her corset, and she arched herself, planting her nails in my back. I growled of pleasure, and when the corset was finally off of her, I threw it somewhere in the room. I felt her breath quickens when she broke our kiss to kiss my neck. I stayed steady, controlling my whole body not to react to what she was doing to me. Her fingers were going up and down my chest when suddenly she kissed my lips while seizing my crotch. I growled and I felt her smile under our kiss. I took her hand, knowing that if she kept playing with me like that this would end all too soon. I quickly removed her tank top, revealing her black and red bra. She really went down to the last details. I started caressing one of her breast through her bra while getting rid of her belt, and she kept on moaning. I looked at her, taking this image of her in my bed, she was biting her lips and she had her eyes closed, her hands were clutched on the pillow behind her, and her body was arched. I went back to kissing her mouth, never getting tired of her taste, while I undid her bra. Once I felt it loose, I threw on the ground, leaving her mouth to take one of her breast. She gasped and arched some more when I started to play with her nipple. My left hand started unbuttoning her trousers, and her hands scratched my back, asking for more. She suddenly rolled us, taking control, and without knowing how, her trousers and mines were off the picture, and she was grinding my arousal while sensually kissing my neck. I was so hard that it started to hurt. My hands were on her back and her hair, bringing her closer to me. Again and always closer. And when I could take it anymore, I put her back on her back, and my hands were on her panty, fondling her clitoris. She moaned some more, arching herself as hard as she could. I got rid of her panty, my fingers slowly playing with her pussy, getting wetter by the second and making my erection longing to be inside of her. Suddenly, she grabbed my head with one hand, kissing me savagely, while her other hand set free my penis to lead it into her. I growled with her once I was inside of her, going slowly back and forth and never stopping kissing her. She locked her legs around my waist, making me only go deeper into her, making me feel how tight and wet she was. I left her lips to kiss her neck, sucking the soft skin on her collarbone and leaving there a hickey. I heard her panting and moaning, trying to swallow the sounds escaping from her mouth. I kept on my thrust in her when I felt her legs leaving my waist. I looked at her and she only smiled lustfully to me before topping me effortlessly. Man this woman was strong. Her eyes steady in mines, full of lust, she slowly impaled herself, and once I was fully in her, she jerked her head back closing her eyes of pleasure and started riding me. I caressed her breast, before siting and taking them in my mouth. As I started to suck one of her nipples she panted louder and quickened her assaults on my cock. I felt her walls tightened, and I felt that I was ready myself to blow. I was on the edge of paroxysm, and I could feel that she was too. I held her tighter, helping her to ride me harder. I looked up to see her beautiful emeralds. Her eyes were steady on me.

"Jace?"

~.o.O.o.~

**Mohahahahahah the end. Of chapter 8. Man, finally. So here it was the part I wanted to right with Jace's point of view. No I'm not a pervert, you'll understand why next chapter, or maybe you've already guessed. **

**Anyway, don't worry, Malec, and Sizzy are coming. We even saw a glimpse of Magnus. (And Nightwing is Batman's first sidekick and he might, or might not have hooked up with Catwoman) **

**And I know the part where Simon ends up in a Meth dealing place is weird, but come on, how was I suppose to bring Raphael, and all the problem that Simon will have later on? But I liked it, because Clary kicked ass (yeah, girl power!). **

**Anyway, hope you liked this chapters, full of events (unlike the previous one), and just to let you know that as tomorrow is my Japanese final exam, I might not be able to upload (don't hate me), but promised, I'll do it as soon as possible. **

**Cheers, and don't forget to tell me if Max should live or not. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello there, so here is chapter 9 with Clary's point of view. **

**As you know, Cassandra Clare owns every character here, that is stating the obvious. **

**Enjoy. **

~.o.O.o.~

I woke up, with a headache pounding in my head. 'I'm never drinking again!' I thought to myself. I had kept my eyes closed, trying to fall back asleep, when I realized that something was off. I felt a breath on my neck and snapped my eyes open. I wasn't in my room, but it still looked like one of the Institute's room. I turned my head and saw Jace. He had his arms around me, holding me tight against him and making feel how _nice_ the dream he was having must have been. I tried to wake him up, giving the fact that I couldn't get out of his hold without falling on the floor.

"Jace?"

He snapped his eyes opened and looked at me, surprised, and then horrified. Before I could say anything, he bolted to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I closed my eyes, trying to swallow back my tears. There was no other way to be rejected in such an obvious way! I went back to my room, hoping to go back to sleep, but once in my room, I heard groans coming from the bathroom. I whined hoping that he wasn't doing what I thought he was doing. I grabbed some clothes and went to knock at Izzy's door. She opened the door, once again perfection incarnated. How could she be so fresh after yesterday night? Then I remembered that she stayed at the party, she didn't had to go to a meth dealer's place. Oh right, Simon. I had to kill him today.

"You okay Clary?"

"Yes. I just need to shower and Jace is ... um, currently using the bathroom."

"Oh." Her eyes narrowed while looking at Jace's door. "Well you can use mine, don't worry Alec won't burst in, he stayed there."

"Oh, he found someone?"

"We could say that."

I went in her bathroom, and understood what Jace meant by saying I wasn't a girl. Entering in her bathroom was like entering a perfume shop. She had too many brushes, too many shampoos, too many bottles of I didn't know what, she had too many things. Way too many. I humped in the shower and let the hot water falling on me. As the black dye was leaving my hair, I kept on thinking on what happened this morning. I never thought that someone I barely knew could hurt me like that. He did let go of me like if I was some disgusting and repulsing spider. I had thought after everything that happened last night, something was between us. Not something something ... Who was I kidding? Of course I wanted it to be something _something_. I remembered the way he looked at me when we were dancing, he had made all the butterflies in my stomach fly of happiness. But now, everything was ruined, and I didn't even know why! And first of all, what was I doing in his bed? I could have swore that he had carried back in _my_ bed! I rewinded as I could the events of last night. The party, the jerk, the dance, Jace touching me like he never wanted to let go of me, the almost kiss, Simon's interruption (another reason to kill him once I'll get my hands on him), the run, Raphael, Simon feeling helpless, bringing Simon home, having to deal with his sister, Jace waiting for me, the cab. Then the cab arrived at the Institute but I was really too tired, so he carried back to my room, undid my shoes, tucked me in and left through the bathroom door. He acted like a perfect gentleman. So how did I ... I shouted of humiliation and frustration once I realized that _I_ was the one that had gone to _his_ bed.

"Clary? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, just some soap that got in my eyes."

"Okay, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."

I stepped out of the shower and grabbed one of the towel in the drawer beneath the washbasin. I was putting on my clothes when I heard Jace and Izzy's voices in the corridor.

"Have you seen Clary?"

"What have you done to her!? She looked like she'd seen a ghost!"

"Why do you always assume that I've done something wrong?"

"Because girls don't cry for something 'good'!"

"She was crying?" Even I, being separated by a wall from him, could hear the concern in his voice.

"Well, she had tear lines when she came to my room."

"That wasn't me! That was something else entirely. Let me pass Izzy, I need to talk to her!"

"Like Hell I'll let you pass!"

"I'm not kidding Izzy!"

And I heard a door banging open. Without even thinking for a second, I went in Alec's room. What I did expect was to see a shirtless Alec. Wasn't he supposed to be where the was the party or something? My eyes grew wide open when I heard Jace's voice in the bathroom asking where I was. I knew I couldn't face him right now, there were too many emotions flying in my heart, and I couldn't help but feel ashamed about what happened in the morning. Plus I needed first to take care of Simon. Alec took a step toward me, and put his hand on the handle, signifying me that he was about to open the door. I violently shook my head, terrified by the idea of seeing Jace right now, and I silently begged him not to open the door. He smiled and signified me to step away and to stay silent. He opened the door and stayed in the doorframe, making sure there was no space for anyone to get in or out.

"What's that racket about? Can't find your conditioner Jace?"

"Have you seen Clary?"

"Nope. Where did last saw her? You should start there."

"Very funny Alec. Well apparently she has the ability to disappear in the blink of an eye, she's nowhere to be seen."

"Well maybe she left to get some fresh air, or maybe she just doesn't want to speak to you. Jace, not everything has to be about you."

There was a long silent, and I saw Alec holding the door a little bit tighter.

"Well if you _see_ Clary, _tell_ her that I'm _really_ _sorry_ for what happened this morning and that it was not her fault."

Okay, now everyone knew that I was in Alec's bedroom. I was literally mortified. Alec shrugged and closed his door. I looked everywhere but at him, knowing that his blue electric eyes were on me. I just wanted to disappear in this instant.

"Well, I guess I don't have to repeat all this awkward conversation." I shook my head, all too happy to avoid something so humiliating.

"Clary, can I ask you for something?"

I looked at him and nodded. It wasn't like I could refused a favor from the guy who just save me from a painful conversation with Jace.

"Don't play with my brother's heart. It is fragile, and doesn't show up that often for me to let you step on it as you wish."

"I ..."

"I'm sure you have your reasons for hiding from Jace right now, but, if you want nothing to do with him, don't lead him on."

And with that he entered the bathroom. I went in my room after checking that the corridor was clean, and I grabbed my phone and my school bag and headed outside. I couldn't deal Jace or anything Jace related right now, I had to take care of Simon.

~.o.O.o.~

As soon as I came into Simon's room, I drew open his curtains. He shrieked under his cover, cursing at the sun.

"Simon get up right NOW! We have to talk."

He got up so suddenly that he felt back on his bed from dizziness. He laid there, waiting a few seconds before looking for his glasses and putting them on his nose. Then he sat up, shame written all over his face and avoiding my gaze. I knew he felt bad about last night, but I couldn't spare being compassionate, I already lost him once to this world, I was not going to lose him again. I waited for him to look him in the eyes, and when he finally did, he opened his mouth and I slapped him. (I should really stop slapping people around, but people should really stop acting so stupid!)

"I don't want to hear your apologies!"

"But Clary ..."

"I'm not having it Simon! What's wrong with you? What's fucking wrong with you? Do you know how worried I was? And what would have happened if it was your mom that answered the door yesterday night instead of your sister? You know that I had to deal with _Raphael_! _Raphael_ of all people! To save _your_ ass! You have to stop that Simon! NOW!"

"I did Clary, I swear I did."

"Oh, so why were you there then? To have a nice cup of tea and have a nice chat about good old times?"

"It's just that ..."

"I swear to God that if you lie to me, I'll kill you!"

"I ran into him at the party, and ... One thing led to another, and before I knew it I was back at Durmort, calling you."

I could see and feel how bad he felt about himself. I knew it wasn't entirely his fault. I knew that it was mostly Raphael's fault for making him try in the first place, but still, I could help but feel so angry at Simon. I was having again one go this conversation where he'd swear to me that this would be the last time before I'd have to take him out of the gutter. I sat and put my head in my hands.

"Simon, you really need to stop it! I can't keep coming and saving you! Not right now. Not now that my life turned out to be so ..."

"I know Clary, I really am sorry. I know how this must have felt like going back there with Raphael and ..."

"No, he wasn't there." I looked up to my best friend. "Simon, you really need to stop, if you need help talk to Becky, she'll understand." He frowned.

"No, she won't."

"She's your sister, of course she will."

"I'll see into it. I'll take a shower now."

I nodded and switched on his PS3 while he was showering, putting _Injustice : Gods Along Us_. I took my favorite character, waiting for him to come back, and kicking ass as always in this game. When he came back from his shower, he chuckled and joined the party. He took Nightwing and and we fought each other.

"So Harley eh?"

"I always take Harley! What's your point?"

"I was talking about the party."

"Oh ... Izzy forced me into it."

He laughed, trying to kill my character. I used my cork gun, killing him in a perfect attack.

"Don't mess with Harley, she'll always have the last word!"

"I can see that! So you said that Izzy forced you into your costume! I definitely to spend more time with that girl! Sure I could learn a few tricks from her."

"Well, if you weren't so reluctant to come at the Institute, you could have come to eat dinner with us."

"Not so much for me!"

"And anyway, aren't hanging out with that Maia chick?"

"I'm not talking to you about her!"

"Why not?"

"Because Clary, this is not how you're suppose to react!"

"And how am I suppose to react?"

He shrugged and looked away before muttering something about going to get us food. I took the occasion to checked on my phone. I never three texts from Izzy.

(**AN**: Izzy is in italics, Clary in bold)

_Clary, where are you?_

_Forget Jace's stupid face, and talk to me. Please. _

_Claryyyyyyyyy! I hope that whatever happened between my brother and you will stay between my brother and you. Hope that we're still friends. _

I checked on the time. Shit she had send me her last text two hours ago.

**Don't worry Izzy, of course we're still friends. It's just that I REALLY needed to talk to Simon.**

She replied instantly:

_Cool! Because I was giving a really hard time to Jace. So what happened anyway._

**I don't see what you mean Izzy**.

Sure, with the rackets of this morning, she was going to swallow that it was just nothing. But now that I thought about it, it was really nothing, just me overreacting to a teenage boy acting like a teenage boy.

_Clary, Jace never, NEVER apologizes to anyone. NEVER. _

**Well he must have drank too much yesterday night because I didn't know what it was all about. **

_Sure. I'm not buying it! Anyway when are you coming back?_

**Why?!**

_Jace says that you have some homework together in music. _

Damn it! I forgot all about that lyrics writing! But there was no way for me to go back to the Institute to be stuck for I don't know how long with Jace! Not now. I still needed to think about it.

**Um, I don't think I'll sleep at Simon's tonight. Tell him I'll figure something by tomorrow morning. **

_Ooooo, you're not coming back?_

**Nope.**

_But what about me getting you ready for school?_

**I'm big girl, I'm sure I'll manage**.

_Okay, but you owe me! You've ditched me twice! _

**Promise, next time, I'll let you pamper and doll me up as you wish. Just no dresses and stuff. Please. **

_Youpiiiiiiii! We'll see you tomorrow_

I put down my phone knowing that I've just sold my soul to the Devil. The Devil of fashion! But it was so hard to say no to Izzy, without feeling guilty. Simon came back in his room his a tray full of fresh veggies, making me realize that I was starving. We played while eating (yes we are horrible teenagers) and once we were full, we both did our homework. It turned out, that we both had a lot of homework. Maths (hopefully I was staying at Simon's!), music, literature, English, history and art. I bit my lip when I started my art, because for the first time of my life, I was stuck. I knew who I wanted to draw. But I also knew that I would not be able to catch his eyes. I started drowning anyway, leaving a blank instead of drawing his face. I drew an exact replicate go my last drawing of him, except that instead of reaching for something, he was now holding someone against his chest, hiding most of his tattoos. He was holding a girl, her head resting next to his heart and I could only see her red hair and her right hand where strength was shining on her inner wrist. Okay that was me, me in Jace's naked arms, but he was faceless. Whyyyyyyyyy?(note the desperate tone, again! I should stop being desperate over Jace!)

"What's that?"

"Nothing!" I hid my drawing, without really having to. Simon would never look at one of my drawing while it was still unfinished, he knew better. I quickly put all my stuff in my bag while Simon's was still looking at me.

"Is that a _tattoo_!?"

Well, I guess I was busted, I had managed to hide for two days. Way to go Clary! I nodded, trying to make it appear as a nothing. Simon didn't say anything but kept on looking at me with his big brown eyes. Then he shook his head and threw me my pajamas. I really needed to get new pajamas for when I stayed at Simon's, those one were pink, too short and had unicorns on them. Really. I laid back on the bed, next to Simon when something hit me :

"Tomorrow night, it's the holidays! We have to choose what marathon we will do!"

"Lord of the Rings?"

"I've watched it with my Mom and Luke last week end as a good luck thing."

"And I wasn't invited!"

"You were at your cousin's Bar-mitzvah!"

"Oh yes, right. Well, we can't go all Game of Thrones, we have to keep that for Mars. Well, in this case Star Wars is imposing itself!"

"Cool. At my house, tomorrow at 8pm then."

~.o.O.o.~

I hopped on my Harley, knowing that I was way too early. I wanted to enjoy my ride because I hadn't been able to yesterday giving the fact that I was so worried about Simon. As I arrived to school, I had decided to go straight to class, even though I'd have to wait for .. _45 minutes_. I thought better of it and decided to go in the art class. I was on my way when I heard noise coming from the music class. I headed there to see Jace on the piano playing with the white and the black keys. Without thinking about it, I took out my sketch pad out and knew I'd be able to finally draw this expression I've been longing for.

~.o.O.o.~

**Okay, so here was chapter 9, sooner than expected. Actually, I almost wrote from Jace's point of view, but I wanted to put Simon and his problems (including the friendzone) **

**Anyway, thanks for keep on reading the story, I know that it's taking its sweeeet time, but there are so many plots to settle. And god thing for you. It'll be a really looooong story. **

**Anyway, you know the drift about the credits and stuff. **

**Cheers, wish me luck for my exam tomorrow **


	10. Chapter 10

**Oh my, I can't believe that we're already on chapter 10! So this will be Jace's point of view, of course, and ... in this chapter you'll learn some things about his past. **

**And as usual, I do not own any of the characters.**

**Enjoy!**

~.o.O.o.~

I've never been so eager to go to class than this morning. As soon as I was ready, I left my siblings, not really wanting to hear Izzy's unceasing babbling on about how I was doing everything wrong with Clary, and I went straight to the music class to play something. I hesitated for a moment before choosing the piano knowing that it would sooth me better. I let the melody taking over me, letting my mind drift to what would happen today. Going to class meant seeing Clary, and seeing clary meant finally being able to lay cards on the table. It's not like we could ignore any longer what was between us. Whatever it was. She did woke up in my arms while I was having an erotic dream of her. I couldn't get out of my head the way she looked to me : in the fraction of a second, she looked curious, apprehensive and embarrassed. And it's not like I could have done anything to reassure her at the moment without embarrassing the both of us some more. And then she refused to talked to me, and I say refused, I mean it : she preferred hiding behind Alec (_Alec_ of all people) than talking to me. I felt so awful about the whole thing, but that was nothing compared to what I felt when Izzy said that Clary was staying at Simon's for the night! I felt my inward being torn with a strange feeling, making me want to punch Simon's face so hard. Why him? Why did she have to find comfort with him!? Just thinking about it right now made me so angry! I growled, hitting the keys a bit too hard, before passing my anger on the piano and pressing the keys in a distorted way.

"What did that piano ever do to you? It's like you've lost your one and only love." Maybe. Still I couldn't help but smile when I heard her voice. She was sitting on the floor, next to the entrance, her pad on her knees and her pen in her hand.

"My one and only love remains myself."

"That's a good plan, you don't have to worry about rejection then."

"Oh I do turn myself down from time to time, just to keep it interesting."

She chuckled before getting up. She didn't seem to be embarrassed by my presence anymore, on the contrary, she was looking at me like she had capture something from me. I left the piano bench and went to the door. She smiled at me, and we went to our classroom. On the way, I tried to apologize one more time, but she waved it.

"Don't worry about it. It's been a rough night for all of us."

"Well, if I don't have to worry about it, why did you runaway yesterday?"

"I didn't _runaway_! I just needed to take care of Simon."

I looked at her, doubtfully and she smiled at me to tell me to drop it. We were still walking to the classroom (man I never realized how big this school was) when I decided to put my hand on her shoulder, and even though she stiffened for a second, she didn't try to remove herself. We arrived in the class at the bell ring, all eyes clanged on us. Some people stated gossiping with each other, pointing us, which made Clary frown. We sat at our usual spot and she took a sheet out of her bag to give it to me. I looked down at it to realize that it was the lyrics for the music. I read it and then turned my head to speak with her. That was the good thing about Mr Alertee's class, you could always talk, as long as you had your homework done in time and read his books, he wouldn't really give you a hard time about it.

"You know that the theme was 'something happy' right?"

She pointed the title, her green eyes looking at me like I was a retard. 'Utopia'. More like 'Destopia'!

"But it doesn't..."

"The lyrics are all about hope." She frowned, unsure of herself. "I thought that I made it clear."

"And the last line? All about hope?"

"Well, maybe not this one line. But if you don't like it, I can still try to make something else."

I shook my head, happy with the lyrics, just wondering how she could have written something so depressing from a happy theme.

~.o.O.o.~

All day long, I tried to distract myself from her. It wasn't healthy to think that much about someone. But all my attempts to do so ended up being a failure. Izzy was nowhere to be seen, and Alec seemed like a ghost, disappearing every time a bell rang to run to God knows where! I kept on waiting for the end of the day, to be in music with her, and then to be with her, just her, simply. I paid as little attention to class as I usually did scribbling on my paper to pretend taking notes when a paper picked my attention. The paper that Alec gave me the night of the costume discussion saying that I would probably love it, but then Clary had come, making it impossible for me to see what it was. Now that I was in class, I could wee what it was without fearing Clary's soul reading eyes. It was a drawing of me, I guessed it was Clary's work as neither of Alec and Izzy drew. She had drown my reflection, at the exception that the drawing had wings. Long white fluffy wings, with shades of gold every now and then. An angel, she had drawn me as an angel. The only problem was that my eyes were scratched. Apparently, she was not happy with my eyes, really not happy, her pen almost transpierced the paper. My fingers laid on the crevice, wondering what could have gone through her mind when she so violently ripped my eyes from me. The bell rang, making me jump on my feet to go and pick her up at her art class. So much for not being obsessed with her! She was still talking with her professor, and Alec left the class.

"Seriously? Stalker much?"

"We do have a class after, you know that right?"

"Yeah, you were the talk of the day today?" I looked questioningly. "Clary's drawing was really ... _insightful_."

"What do you mean?"

"You know you don't have to pick me up Jace, I know the way. I'm a big girl."

Alec smiled and waved Clary before leaving us. I took Clary by the shoulder as I did in the morning, not really caring on how it would look for the others, the feeling of her was something too fucking good to let it pass under my nose. Once again, she did not say anything and we just went to the music class. As soon as we entered, murmurs started, making her frown once more. We sat at our seat and she waited in silence for Mrs. Herondale. Once she arrived, establishing the silence by her only presence as usual, we did the usual routine : warm ups, people called on stage, singing, clapping, and all over again. When she called us, we went to the stage, me taking the guitar again. We had find some kind of melody, and I hoped that the guitar would only reinforce it.

(**AN: bold is Jace**, _italic is Clary, __**bold and italic is both**__._)

_The very same wish_

_In all of our hearts_

_Is getting older_

_And became fantasy_

_You want to be strong_

_But you don't understand_

_All my hidden tears_

_And my whispered screams_

**All my colored dreams became all nightmares**

**And my black nightmares framed my hell**

**And from my hell, I'm going under**

**Under into nothingness**

_**Why can't we have, see, feel a bit of Utopia**_

_**Why do we have to be our own Nemesis**_

_** Why can't we have, see, feel a bit of Utopia**_

_**Why do we have to be our own Nemesis**_

_I'm surrounded _

_By too much surrender_

**The one you've created**

**And the one you don't see**

_**You want to be strong**_

_**But you don't understand**_

_**All my hidden tears**_

_**And my whispered screams**_

_**All my colored dreams became all nightmares**_

_**And my black nightmares framed my hell**_

_**And from my hell, I'm going under**_

_**Under into nothingness**_

_**Why can't we have, see, feel a bit of Utopia**_

_**Why do we have to be our own Nemesis**_

_** Why can't we have, see, feel a bit of Utopia**_

_**Why do we have to be our own Nemesis**_

**_Utopia is dead_**

The song over, we went back to our seat under the usual clapping.

"Would you do me a favor?"

"Depends."

"I'd like to fix a few things on my bike before being banished from the auto shop for two weeks?"

"Banished? Nobody's banishing you."

"I know, but I'm going home tonight."

"You're going to your house _tonight_?"

"Yes, why?"

"I wanted to show you something ..."

"Well, I'm here, show it to me now." She confidently smiled up at me, sparkles twinkling in her green emeralds. I had to fight against all my instincts not to kiss her right here, right now. But it's not like I could, we were in class.

"I can't. It has to be tonight! I'll drop you off at your place if you if you want."

She nodded and I gave her the keys to the auto shop. Once she the class was over and that she was out of my sight, I went to our quarters hoping that I wouldn't find anyone there. Happily, no one was in sight which still made me wonder where could Alec been? Since the bathroom incident of yesterday, he has been very distant and I didn't know why. I packed some veggies and started to make my famous egg-sandwiches when I remembered that she was vegan. What was she actually eating!? No wonder why she was so small! I made a few peanut butter sandwiches, hoping that, with the veggies, it would be enough. Once all the food was on a basket, I went on the roof top. I cursed the sky for being cloudy : when it was clear, you could see the stars and even identify some constellations, and she seemed to long for the stars so badly.

~.o.O.o.~

" A picnic? That's what you wanted to show me?"

She chuckled, jerking her head back while shaking it. Giving to what she was wearing, Izzy had finally been able to play Barbie with her. She dressed all in white, white skin tight jeans and white long sleeves blouse whose hem arrived at her hips. She had her bright red hair down, dancing wildly in the small breeze.

"No, it's just that we have to wait for sundown."

"Sundown? Can you be anymore cliché?"

"Apparently not."

I smiled at her, and she smiled back. We stayed there, watching each other for a moment before she tore her gaze away from me and cleared her throat.

"So what do we do waiting for sundown? A Scrabble?"

"We could ... talk." She narrowed her eyes before bringing her knees to her chest and putting her chin on her knees.

"Jace, I don't want to talk about yesterday morning."

"Too bad, I want to talk about it!"

"Jace..."

"Clary, how do you think I felt? This was as awkward for me as it was for me!" She laughed in derision and disbelief.

"You're telling me that you never woke up next to a total stranger?" Okay she got me on this one but still, how could she think ...

"You really think that I'm a total stranger to you?" She bit her lips before watching in the eyes.

"Well, I do know you for just 5 days. And even though it feels like so much more, I don't know a thing about you, so yes, you _are_ a stranger to me."

"Well, let's just change that. What do you want to know?"

"Why? Why is this so important to you?"

"Because ... Because... Because, we live together, and you can't keep avoiding me every time we meet."

Okay I did not say the whole truth, but come on, it's not like I was this kind of guy saying what he had on his heart right on the first date. Wait? Did I just said date?

"How about one question each?" She frowned before nodding.

"So I guess I go first? ... Why is your last name Wayland?" Of all the questions that I inspired her, she had to ask this one. I sight before passing my hand in my hair and answering plain and simply.

"I was adopted by Robert and Maryse when I turned 10 because my parents died as well as my godfather. Don't get me wrong I love the Lightwoods as my own family. Izzy, Alec and Max are the best thing that ever happened to me. And no, I don't recall a thing about my parents. My mom apparently died from childbirth, and my dad died when I was one in a car crash. My godfather was lost at sea, and after six months, they declared him dead, which sent me here to the Lightwoods, who were close friends to my father."

I looked at her the whole time, waiting for pity to fill her eyes, but it never did. She just looked full of comprehension and understanding and I saw more questions arising in her eyes.

"My turn... How come you're in first name bases with drug dealers?"

"Raphael is not a drug dealer, he's just a punk seeing things bigger than he should."

"That doesn't answer the question."

"I don't know where to start. Simon lost his Dad last year, and was in a really bad and dark place, and we were introduced to the wrong people I guess. And Simon fell really deep, so I guess with having to get him out of the gutter every now and then, I got closer than I wished to the wrong kind of people."

"Wait '_we were introduced_'? You did drugs?"

"No! I stayed clean, but I ... had ... something to held on to, or so I thought."

Man, why? Why unveiling her past brought more questions than answers? I knew that there was something that she wasn't telling me, and I was pretty sure it had to do about her ex-boyfriend. The very motion of him that night stiffened her as well as made her angry. I shook my head, realizing that the night was finally here. I stood up and helped her to do the same, then I made her look at the town. At the billions lights illuminating the city, giving us the impression that we were floating on it, that the city was drowning in an endless dimming light. I looked at her. She was so hot at this precise moment. Her eyes were sparkling with delight, her mouth was half open, letting out small fast breath, her breast was quickly going up and down, and her right hand kept on moving in the air, as if she was unconsciously drawing what she was seeing. She licked her lips and leaned forward to take the view in a better angle. I was so happy and relieved that she liked it. The first time that I came up here, I was so blown away by what I saw that I wanted to share it with the world, but Izzy and Alec didn't share my admiration for this view.

"Jace this is so ... so ..."

"Don't try to describe it, you'll only kill it."

She smiled and I took her hand in my hand. She kept her gaze on the city, trying to fill herself with it. She leaned forward a bit more, and I pulled her back by her hand, not wanting her to fall. She brutally turned making me kiss her forehead. She became all stiff, but I kept on kissing her, kissing her forehead, her closed eyes (making her eyelashes brush my lips), her freckled nose, and finally, _finally_ her full pink lips. At the very moment when our lips touched, she jumped at my throat, intertwining her fingers in my hair, kissing me back, pressing her body against mine. I hesitated a moment, tasting her, making sure that _this_ was real, and that's when it started to rain. She clung on me a little tighter, and I moved my hands to cup her head, and when I tried to enter her mouth a furthermore with my tongue, she gladly complied, letting our tongues battle for dominance. Her hands were still in my hair, crushing me against her. One of my hand left her head to go on her lower back and bring her closer to me, as close as I could. I wanted her to melt into me. She was kissing me with as much passion as I was kissing her, her sweet breath mixing with mine, her skin resting on mine, her heart beating at the same cadence as mine. And our kiss broke (all too soon if you ask me!), leaving us both panting, my forehead on hers. I caressed her cheek, making her smile.

"Well, I should bring you here more often." She bit her lip and replied, still panting :

"Definitely!"

"Let's get out of here before we get soaking wet, and I have to use my body to warm you up."

~.o.O.o.~

**Finally! Finally they kiss! And this is for real! Haaaaaaa(holly music). Hope you're happy about it. Okay, I know, they're supposed to be in a garden, not a rooftop, but seriously, flowers that only bloom at night (they exist but not in this part of the world!) So, lights, better? I don't know, it felt right, but maybe I was wrong. **

**I wanted first to tell you that I'VE FINISHED MY FINALS! So happy (and, without bragging, I'm sure that I nailed my Japanese one, the one I was most worried about! Who am I kidding I'm totally bragging here! Noooooo I don't want to be a Jace n°2!). I just wanted to tell, so here I did. **

**Second, I hope we got to see a glimpse (okay, a microscopic glimpse) of their past, I hope it'll bring many questions to you. **

**Third, there's no third. So you know the drift, I only own the lyrics here (and the story, duh, but not the characters). **

**Anyway, hope you'll liked it, especially since it actually this chapter ends on a good note. **

**Cheers. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone, here comes chapter 11(already, I can't believe that we're already there), with Clary's point of view. Let's see how this kiss went. **

**As usual, all rights go to Cassandra Clare. **

~.o.O.o.~

Oh God! I can't believe what just happened! I thought that this part of me had left me once I got broken. But apparently, Jace had been able to arise in me a wild and fiery fire that I didn't know still existed in me. _We kissed_! Somehow his lips were on mines, and we ended up kissing. There were no longer make believes, half-truths, awkward moments, just the moment, _this_ moment. Just my lips on his, yearning for more, crushing him to be always closer to him, to swallow this part of him and make it always mine. Him touching me, sending fire through every single part of my body, making me all too aware of him and his hands, making me aware that I've be longing for this to happen since the first time I've seen him. And too soon the kiss ended, and now we were walking to my apartment. I could have take my bike, but that would have meant going back home alone, and I would happily give up any ride just to feel his hand in mine like this was happening right now. This was really bad, I never gave up a ride for anything or anyone! My heart raced a little bit when I realized that I _might_ like Jace Wayland a little bit more than I should. We stayed silence, only walking in the streets of New York under the flooding rain and holding hands. Once we arrived at my building, came this awkward moment where I should decide if I should invite him in. Should I or should I not? I mean my Mom was probably in, yearning for us to talk all about my week at the Institute, but in the other hand, the deluge outside was giving me the perfect excuse to ask him to come in. Without letting go of his hand, I went at my apartment door. Before I could open it, he turned me and pushed me against the wall. I gasped in surprise and his right hand flew to my face to caress my cheek. I saw the hesitation in his eyes, as if he was afraid of rejection. Jace Wayland, afraid of rejection, I would have seen it all! I smiled and started to play with his soaking black shirt. His eyes scanned me before a lubricant smile enlightened his face.

"It's a good thing I haven't been really looking at you during the way!"

"Why?"

He kept on smiling, and, with all the efforts of the world, I tore our gaze to look down on myself. That's when I realized that Izzy made me wear white. _White_! And it had been raining! I winced and covered myself as I could with my arms, feeling the burn on my face. God, how was I supposed to face him now! He chucked and lifted my chin up.

"I love it so much when you blush like that."

His fingers that lifted my chin slowly went to my hair and his face kept on coming closer and closer. I could see the perfect irises of his golden eyes : it was liquid gold. I could feel his breath, mingling with mine. I went on my tippy toes and closed my eyes, ready to feel all over again the rush he created in me on the rooftop. I could almost hear his heart's uneasy cadence, I felt him lean closer, his lips brushing mine when ... the door of my apartment flew open! To reveal a really unhappy Simon. Damn it, I totally had forgot about him coming to my place for our usual holiday marathon. We all stood in surprise, looking at each other when Jace regained his composure.

"What're you doing here?"

"I was invited here!"

"Well, that's ridiculous, isn't it? How will we all fit in your bed Clarissa?"

And with that he took a step back and looked at me, literally shocked and pained. But that only lasted the fraction of a second. And without another word, and he went to the stairs. I glared at Simon, shooting daggers with my eyes and went after him.

"Jace wait!"

But he was already gone. I went back to Simon, so angry at him to have showed up at _this_ precise moment.

"What was that all about?!"

"What do you mean? You're the one who almost got your face sucked by some jerk while wearing see through cloths!" Damn it, did anyone had to notice but me?

"That's not your problem! I never get in the way of you kissing other girls!"

"That's not the same. I never looked at them the same way you look at him!"

"Oh, and how am I looking at him now?"

I was so angry that I could feel the heat emanating from my whole body. I was so mad at him that I couldn't think clearly. Twice he had stole me a kiss from Jace. And now, he was making it appear as if I was the bad guy in this whole mess.

"You look at him like you used to look at _Jonathan_!" Okay, that was a slap in my face. "You're not suppose to look at _him_ like this, it's supposed to be _me_?"

That wasn't making any sense.

"Why?"

"Because I am in love with you Clary. Always has been. Can't you see it? Every girl that I saw was just to make you jealous. And when Jonathan came in the picture, I backed off because I thought that he could make you happy, but I was wrong, and I'm not going to make the same mistake for some jerk to break you again. I was the one who was always by your side, the one who picked you up when you wanted nothing else but fall, the one who stood by you when _he_ ... left, the one who never thought of anything but your happiness!"

I was not expecting this. I was _so_ not expecting this! What was I supposed to say? Simon was Simon, nothing more. He was my rock for my though times, my sun for my saddest moments, my everything to say the truth. But not in that way. Certainly not in that way!

"But Simon ... This isn't love, not as you see it. It's just the love for the people you really care about, the same love I have for you. This is not THE love."

"You just couldn't go all Han Solo on me, and tell me that you knew, could you? Clary, he's going to break you, just as Jonathan did."

"I doubt that."

And he left, leaving me all alone in the door frame wondering how could a day that started so great ended up being a disaster. I closed the door, feeling the tears coming to my eyes : I've lost my best friend, I've lost Jace, was there anything in this world that I wouldn't loose? My mother cleared her throat in my back and I ran into her arms, crying like a baby. She soothed me, telling me that everything would get better, petting my hair. The more I tried to swallow my tears, the more they came. When I had no more water to waste in tears, I was hiccuping.

"Maybe you should take a hot shower and tell me all about it later?"

I nodded and went to my room to pick up my pajamas. Once in the shower I thought about what Simon told me, about the memories he brought to me. _Jonathan_. Why did he have to bring him up? I was happy with just pretending that nothing ever happened.

Once I was cleaned I dressed in an old baggy shirt and old shorts and joined my Mom back in the living room. She had prepared two cups of hot chocolate with almond milk (my favorite) and waffles. I sat next to her taking a waffling and having a enormous bite in it. Sure it was cool being at the Institute and having friends not judging your diet, but come on, there was no better vegan food than my Mom's. I sight in delight and took a sip of hot chocolate. My Mom smiled at me and pet my hair, taking herself her mug of chocolate.

"You feeling better honey?"

"Yes. It's just that I had a lot to take in today."

"So I heard. Simon finally made his declaration."

"What do you mean finally?"

"Well, it was kind of obvious. According to Luke, it was only a matter of time before he took the step, and ... well I guess he just did."

Apparently everyone knew about Simon's supposed love for me. Anyone but me. But I knew that he was wrong about the kind of love he thought he had for me. It was just his hormones confusing him.

"Well, ... I'm sure it will settle to be just fine. So ... is it me, or I heard two male voices earlier? Simon and ...?"

"Just some guy from the Institute."

"Some guy uh?"

I smiled to her, silently telling her that I was not saying anything more on the matter. I always had a really close relationship with my Mom, but I never liked to talk in details with her about my love life, and neither did she. Otherwise I'd been hearing all about Luke, or I thought so, considering the fact they'd never really had THE talk (apparently this was a family thing). She understood my stating, just saying her motherly advices:

"Just be careful honey. You don't want ... You don't want ... You know what happened last time."

I knew all to well what happened last time. I could still remember every part of last time as if it was a video I was forced to watch every time I thought about it.

"Yes, I know. Don't worry, it's nothing anyway."

"Really?" She was so not buying. Hell even I wasn't buying it!

"Okay, he's kind of ... nice to look at. But I don't think this will go anywhere, not after tonight."

She frowned thinking for a minute. That's why I loved my Mom so much. She could be my Mom and my friend in the mean time.

"I'm not sure of that. By the sound of his voice, he seemed pretty upset by Simon's being here."

I shrugged, that was tomorrow's problem now. Jace wanted to play the victim here, let him be, I was not that girl anymore. I was not going to run after him. Instead I talked to my Mom about the Institute, about the class, the professors, the auto shop, Izzy, Alec and Jace (avoiding the fact that Jace was the boy we just talked about, or that we shared a bathroom : my Mom was cool, but I'm sure that she had her limits), the tattoo (okay, she wasn't all exited about the tattoo thing). We stayed up hours talking, catching up with our past week. She had a new painting ordered for some big shots. I don't really know when, but I fell asleep right there on the couch in my favorite position, my head on my Mom's knees, listening to the sound of her beautiful voice, her long red hair (hair that I inherited, along with her porcelain skin and her green eyes) slightly tickling my cheeks, as if they were kissing me.

~.o.O.o.~

I woke up to the buzzing and annoying sound of my phone. Why did I even brought it here? I was about to ignore the call when I thought better of it and picked it up, not checking the caller ID.

"Mmmiello?"

"Clary! I've been calling your for two hours!"

"Some people actually like to sleep Izzy!"

"Well, get up it's 11am! I want us to go shopping, like that you'll tell all about what happened last night!" Last night? What happened last night?

"Last night?"

"Oh, Clary when will you learn that there's no way to hide anything from me. I'll get it out of either Jace or you." Oh right, _last night_! Jace. I really needed to talk to him!

"Where is he by the way?"

"How should I know, he left this morning saying that he needed to 'let go'."

"Okay, I'll meet you at the mall at 2pm, okay? I've got to go now."

"Okay, see you later."

I hung up, resting my head on the armrest and putting my arms on my eyes. Why? (Note the desperate tone). Why did Izzy had to be such a girl, going to the mall, shopping, loving pink and makeovers? Why couldn't she be a girl's version of Simon? Playing at video games and only worrying about the newest manga's arrival?

"Problem in paradise sleepy head?"

I stood up as quick as I could at the sound of the voice and jumped in his arms.

"Luke! What're you doing here?"

"Helping your Mom with her tons of paint cans. Did she tell you she was asked to restore an ancient mansion ceiling?"

"Oh, that was the big shot thing! ... Luke I'd love to catch up, but I've just been kidnapped for a shopping session."

He shook it off, saying that we'd have time to catch up later and laughing at my unhappy face when I realized that I had to go shopping. I quickly took a shower, started to dress as usual, when I remembered that I was going to see Izzy, baggy clothes wouldn't do. This day was starting on a really bad note. I searched my closet until I found something 'Izzy fitting'. A blue denim pair of jeans with a tight ripped white shirt, a bleeding black heart drawn on it. I put on my boots, my leather-like jacket and my messenger bag. I left waving my mom goodbye. I left earlier to make a detour. It was a long shot, but I had to try it. I took the subway and prayed with all my heart that I remembered the way properly. I walked up a street, another one, turned left and there it was. The sports-room. I went in, and heard grunts. 'Let it be Jace. Let it be Jace.' I wanted to confront him, but in the mean time, I was scared that, by doing so, everything that might have happened wouldn't. I popped my head in the main room, ready to jerk it back if it wasn't him, to see him punching all he could in the bag. I stayed in the door frame, not daring to interrupt him, but happy to see that my instincts were right when they told me that by 'letting go' he meant coming here. I watched his muscles contract and loosen as he hit again and again the bag. He was shirtless, sweat pearling all over his body and his hair, his eyes steady on the bag, and his face so cold and closed, a bit like the failed drawing I had made of him.

"Enjoying the view?"

He snapped me out of my reverie. He had stop boxing, and it was only then that I realized he wasn't wearing gloves. Just bandages that he was taking off of his hands. He sponged the sweat off of his body with a towel that he threw around his neck, and then he came to me.

"What're you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you."

"Oh, _now_ you want to talk. Well I don't, if you're in a mood for feelings, go talk to your rat face!"

Rat face? Who was he talking about?

"Tell me you're not talking about Simon!?"

"I don't care what you call him, he has a rat face."

This was not what I wanted. I could palp his anger, and it was contagious, I could feel it rising within me. I tried to cool it off.

"I didn't come in here to talk about Simon. I came to talk about ... what happened last night."

"Well, I'm listening." He was apparently determined to not make it easy.

"Well, what happened?" His eyes narrowed, scanning me.

"If you can't even say, then, nothing happened."

"Oh, okay."

I shrugged and turned my heels, but he grabbed my hand before I could go any further.

"That's it? You're not even going to try any harder?"

"Any harder? If this is a game for you game, well then congratulations, you won. But there's no way in Hell I'll cling to you because of what happened last night. If you can't assume it, it's not my fault. Simon was right : you _are_ a jerk!"

And with that, I shook myself off of him and left the sports-room. I ran until I was in the subway, fully aware of the fact that I was crying. God, I've spent too many tears over this jerk. This was bad. This was sending back to a Clary I wasn't anymore. To a Clary who couldn't handle herself and ended up hurt in all the ways you could imagine. I dried off my tears, plastered an artificial smile on my face, ready to meet Izzy.

~.o.O.o.~

**Chapter 11 is officially over, but I'm not really satisfied with it. Hope you won't hate me for it. But at least, we know a tiny bit more about Clary (and we got to see Jocelyn and Luke), and Jonathan appeared, what kind of person was he ? Well, you guessed I'm sure. **

**Well, for you to know, next chapter won't be Clary's of Jace's point of view, but someone else. (Whooooo? Try to guess) and it will be rather short, but really needed for the plot. **

**For the Jason&Maia lovers, don't worry, they'll come in time. And Max will be here in two chapters. **

**Well, hope you still like the story, and you're not going to all runaway, and you know the drift about the credits. **

**Cheers. **


	12. Chapter 12

**So here comes chapter 12 with ... Well, I'm not saying who's point of view, it'll be obvious when you'll read it. **

**All rights go of course to Cassandra Clare **

**Enjoy. **

~.o.O.o.~

"Well, looks like she's adapting just fine to the place."

"Maybe."

"You always worry too much."

"No, I always worry just fine. Clary doesn't do shopping. And how long has it been since you saw her out of her baggy cloths. I don't like it Luke, I don't like it at all. I should have followed my instincts and fly away as soon as you told me about him."

"And what? Make a wold new life up? What would you have said to Clary to justify the use of new names?"

I shook my head, sighing. Luke was right, as usual. The Institute was the best way to protect Clary from Valentine, but at what cost? I couldn't protect her there from the hard time it was being a teenager. Luke put his hands on my shoulders, reassuring me as he could, as he always did. If only my life were less complicated, I could have asked him to stay in it, but there was no way I could impose on him this messed up life anymore than I already was. I tapped his hand and went back to what I was doing : loading paint cans in this big old truck I rented.

"You sure you don't want me to go with you?"

"No it's okay. It's remote from the town, and you have a library to run."

~.o.O.o.~

I arrived in front of the old mansion, a bit taken aback by the fact that not one was there to greet me. There was an envelop on the front door with a key in it and a note telling me to come in. I entered the house, curious about how it looked on the inside. The realtor had only shown me pictures of the ceiling I was suppose to restore : a copy of the 'Adam and God' of the Sistine Chapel. The house was clean and modern, I looked up to see the ceiling, and saw how old it was. And returned my gaze in front of me, when a picture on the wall caught my attention. I looked closely and recognized myself. In my wedding dress, with standing next to me Valentine.

"How do you like the house Miss Fray?"

I turned in the direction of that voice all too familiar, and I paled when I saw him standing in front of me. He was still handsome, even though wrinkles and a few gray hair had appeared between than 16 years old gap. His features were still perfect, with his blond-white hair that I once caressed, his steady black eyes that once made me swoon, his calm face that once made me blush with just one smile.

"You're supposed to be dead."

"And your last name is supposed to be Morgenstern, or at least Fairchild. We have a lot to talk about I think Jocelyn."

He opened the double doors that were behind him and signed me to follow him. I did as told, terrified of what he would do if he knew about Clary. All this life of hiding and lying to protect her for everything he believed in, I was not going to let it go to waste in a fraction of second. He sat at the table, telling me to do the same. I took the chair farther away from him and sat, my gaze still on him. He was smiling, as if we were just old friends catching up. Suddenly I blurted all my anger:

"If you're alive, where is my son?"

"All good things come to those who can wait."

"So you didn't kill him!" It was more a relief statement than a question. All my life I had mourn my son, and now I was given the slightest hope that he wasn't dead.

"I have been longing for this moment for so long. You in front, at our dinner table, talking about our children." A glimpse of malice crossed his eyes, and I swallowed with difficulty. "But you made it difficult, didn't you? First you doubled crossed me with that traitor of Lucian, so what was I supposed to do? I knew you'd come back for our son, so I had to stage my own death for the Feds to get off my back. Then when I finally got back on my feet, you had disappeared. Nowhere to be seen. I went to your parents' cottage, but you were more clever than going back there, weren't you? I've looked for you all over the world, never thinking that you'd hide in this ant heap. That was a very clever move, and I would never have found out if I hadn't had business to take care in New York. All of this leads me to one question Jocelyn."

I did not speak, terrified that if I said anything I could endanger Clary.

"How long do you think you could have hid her from me?"

"Who?" Oh no, he knew, how was I supposed to protect her from this maniac now?!

"My daughter Jocelyn, _our_ daughter?"

"She's not yours!"

He laughed, before standing up and going to one of his drawer. I tried to steady my heart, beating like a mad man due to the lie I just told. Clary was his daughter, as sure as she was mine, but he didn't need to know that. It actually would've been better if he never knew. He took out a file and put it in front of me. When he opened it, it revealed pictures of Clary. Clary in a Harley Quinn costume holding Simon, Clary and Simon at Java Jones, a cup of coffee in her hand, Clary holding hands with a young man under the rain. I took the pictures horrified by what I was seeing.

"That's what I thought first, but then _our_ daughter had the crazy idea of getting a tattoo."

He showed me a picture of Clary leaving a tattoo shop and laughing with a boy. The boy she was holding hands with and he actually looked familiar, but all my attention was on Clary. Her face was peaceful, and her eyes were full of pure glee. How long had it been since I saw her like that?

"You see, the thing is she doesn't look like sixteen, so I knew she couldn't be mine. But when she was asked about her age, she said sixteen. How long has it been since I last shared a bed with you Jocelyn?"

"I don't remember."

"I think you remember bloody well giving the fact that there is a living proof of our love in front of us!" He pointed Clary on a picture. "So, I reiterate my question : how long do you think you could have hid her from me?"

"You're supposed to be dead Valentine. Why would I hide from a dead person? I wasn't hiding from you but from your ... acolytes." He looked a bit astonished and then he explained himself.

"No one knew what I was doing. Only you and I. All my followers knew was that I would cleanse the world, and I will. Once you return to me what is mine."

"I've destroyed it!"

"No you didn't, you were a scientist before you became this character you pretend to be. What I've done is too precious for you to destroy it. It gave us a son and a daughter."

How could he be so calm when he talked about our children, he murdered one and was stalking the other.

"Clary is not one of your experiment, what you've done with my son, you didn't do with my daughter!"

"You're right, I miscalculated things with him, but her, she had the perfect dose, you just didn't knew. It was meant for you, but as she was in your womb, she must have taken it as well."

I gasped in realization of what he had done. Twice he experimented on me, without me knowing! I stood up and slapped him realizing that he almost made me grief for _two_ children! If I had wanted to make him angry, I failed miserably. He just smiled and gathered his file. Then he took a phone out of his pocket and placed it in front of me.

"Bring me back my daughter Jocelyn, and then we will have our happy family."

"Happy family? That will never happen! Never you will see me presenting you to Clary as her father! You hear me, never." He chuckled and pushed the phone toward me.

"Either you bring her to me, either I'll pick her up tonight at your place in an ugly fight."

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me!"

I heavily sight and took the phone. I composed Clary's number, hoping that she wouldn't pick up.

"Mom?"

"Hi honey? Where are you right now?"

"At the mall with Izzy."

I looked at Valentine, evaluating my chance to outrun him. I slowly stood up, pacing as if my conversation was normal.

"Oh yes, I forgot about your shopping session. You're having fun?"

"Not really, Izzy is dragging in shops I didn't even know existed! Did you know that the mall had more than 50 cloths' shops, and Izzy wants us to go in all of them! Help!"

"Well, I was thinking that maybe you should stay a little longer with her, you know with me being swamped by painting and all. Okay?" Valentine looked at me suspiciously before smiling, scaring me more than I cared to admit.

"You want me to stay at the Institute?"

"Yes. I have to go now, I'll call you later. I love you honey, bye."

I hung up, defying Valentine to do anything by looking at him. He just shook his head and walked toward me. Once in front of me, he took back the phone and pushed me to the door by taking me by the shoulders.

"If you think for a second that the Lightwoods will indefinitely protect her, you're wrong. Our daughter is wild, the walls of the Institute won't hold her forever."

I paled, knowing how right he was and horrified to see how well he knew Clary. She never liked authority, and never hesitated to defy it when she wanted or needed to too.

"Come on Jocelyn, I'll show you your bedroom, but before I want you to meet someone."

He opened the doors, revealing a younger version of himself. It was as if I was brought back 17 years earlier. He had the same white-blond hair, the same handsome face. He had the same height than Valentine. The only real difference was in the eyes. Valentine's were black, but you could still discern their irises, this boy's eyes were nothing but endless darkness, only circled by rings of silver and they were looking at me in surprise. When I realized who he was and felt on my knees. Valentine squatted next me, and whispered in my ear.

"See, I told you I was going to bring our family all back together."

~.o.O.o.~

**So here was chapter 12 with Jocelyn's point of view and finally the introduction of Valentine! I tried to not make him so evil (well, because in like him first) and because he's nothing compared to his 'son'. I know it was short, but I couldn't but stop when I stopped. **

**Hope you liked this chapter, and actually, I'm hesitating on putting more of Jocelyn's point of view, so let me know if I should do that. **

**Anyway, you know how I own nothing, so **

**Cheers **


	13. Chapter 13

**Here comes chapter 13 with Jace's point of view and the arrival of Max! Yay! **

**I also wanted to tell you that I was sorry for the grammar errors and the missing words, I'm reading myself at least twice before publishing, but apparently, that doesn't stop those stupid errors to appear. Sorry. **

**All the characters are of course a Cassandra Clare property. **

**Enjoy. **

~.o.O.o.~

She was crying, I knew she was. I saw the tears building one by one in the corner of her green eyes. I saw her holding them back determined not to cry in front of me. I saw the way her head bend on her way out. I made her cry. _I_ did it, all because I didn't know how to act normal around her, all because she made me lose my ability to speak properly. I went to the showers, crushed by what I'd done. I made Clary cry. Clary who always wanted to appear so strong and invulnerable, I made her cry. How was I supposed to make it up to her? The hot water was raining over me while I was wondering if I'd never be able to make her smile again? To make her smile and look at me like she did last night when we were oblivious of the world around us. It was all my fault, I knew it. I was the one who got all angry for no other reason than not liking her rat face friend. I was the one who couldn't let go of his pride and couldn't just take the olive branch she tried to give me. I acted like a _jerk_. The way she said the word hurt me like I never thought it could. She said it as if she was disappointed in me, as if she was realizing that I did not worth her time. I angrily punched the shower's wall, almost breaking my hand in the process, but at least, the pain calmed me down. I left the shower and got dressed before going back home. I almost made a detour by Clary's, to apologize about my previous behavior, but I was too scared to catch in her eyes feelings that I didn't want to see. I already saw disappointment, I didn't want to see indifference now, everything but that, I couldn't become a nobody to her, I _had_ to make it up to her.

Once home, a little ball of hair jumped in my arms.

"Jace!"

"Max! What're you doing here?"

"Holidays. Remember?"

Right, if was the first day of the autumn vacations. That meant two weeks without schools and professors and schedules. This was going to be great. Wait? That also meant two weeks without Clary! It wasn't going to be so great. I looked down at Max. He was Alec's miniature (even though he had let his hair grow), except for the character. On the character side, he was all Izzy : outgoing, enthusiast, and always shopping, except that instead of buying clothes, he bought comic books. I smiled to him, happy to see him. I saw Max growing up, and somehow, I felt closer to him than to my other siblings. Maybe it was because I felt we grew together in the family's heart, or it was because he was simply a ray of sun.

"Jace is it true that Izzy dressed up as Catwoman for Halloween?" Right, he was in his Batman period. I nodded and I saw marvel in his eyes, along with envy.

"Wished I'd thought of that!"

"You would have dressed as Catwoman? That would have gone really well with your new long hair."

"Don't be ridiculous! I wished I choose a Batman character instead of a stinky zombie."

"And what character would you have take?"

"The Joker. He's so cool."

What was up with people and evil characters? What was wrong with being the hero? I shook my head and proposed Max to play some video games for the afternoon. He agreed with glee. How could you not love this kid? His very presence was soothing. We put on 'Skull Girls' and he was beating me effortlessly.

"Jace, is it true that you are scared?"

"Uh, what? No. Who said that?"

"I heard Izzy saying to Alec something about you being scared because you liked a girl. But I think that they must have misunderstood something : you're never afraid. Of anything. You're SuperJace!"

I laughed a bit before thinking about what he said. So now, everyone knew that my eyes were on Clary, so much for me keeping it cool. This girl was destroying me, literally destroying me. My image, my mind, _me_. How many time did I let myself being lost in the thought of her, of being with her. This was not me, but I would happily let it become me if that meant having her. I though of how Izzy and Alec thought that I was scared of Clary, they couldn't have been more right. I was scared of her for so many reasons. For her way to take control in the most unlikely situations, for her way to have these outbursts of confidence and strengths that threatened any male's manhood, for her way to sometimes look at me as if we were the only one in the world, for the way she could dispose of me in a minute if she wanted to. This girl was bringing in me too many contradictory feelings.

"I'm back!"

Izzy entered the room, her arms full of bags. She put them of the sofa before squinting between Max and I on the couch.

"So what you boys have been up to? Video gaming?"

"Yes. I've been crushing Jace all day long!"

"Good for him. He needs to know he's not the best in everything!"

"Sure he is."

Izzy tsk-ed and looked at me. The way she was smiling made me sure of one thing : she knew. How could she know? Did Clary told her about last night? That would be very annoying, after all Izzy made me endure because I wouldn't talk to her. The way she threatened to rip me apart if I endangered her friendship with Clary.

"By the way, Clary is staying tonight."

"Who's Clary?"

"The girl who dressed as Harley Quinn for Halloween. But when I say girl, I'm a bit exaggerating. She doesn't know how to shop! Seriously, the only shop she was interested in was the comic books shop. Seriously, I was supposed to get a girlfriend, not another brother!"

I chuckled and Izzy glared at me. I stood up and went to my bedroom to lay down. I thought of Clary and on how I was given a chance to make it up to her when I heard a shout coming from the bathroom. I went to the door and knocked.

"Clary? You okay?"

"No!"

I carefully entered the bathroom and saw a small replicate of Izzy's bathroom. Clary was watching all of the new products in horror. She picked up a eyelashes curler and looked at it in terror.

"What am I supposed to do with that?"

"Apparently curl your lashes."

"I know what it does, but how could Izzy think that I'd use it. And this, and that? Okay that's it!"

She went in her room and came back with her empty trash bin. She angrily put all the new products in the bin and groaned when it got full leaving still so many products in the bathroom.

"I'm going to kill Izzy!"

"Good luck with that!"

She glared at me and went in her bedroom. I followed her there and once in her room, I took it all in. She had taken over the room, she adapted the room to her, having pined many drawings. Drawings of Central Park, of different scape landings, of various comic characters, of Simon (ew), of her and an older version of her (certainly her mother). Her shelves were, unlike Izzy's full of cloths, full of books and comics. The room was living. When she realized that I was with her, she froze.

"What do you want Jace?"

"I ... I want to talk."

"Jace this is pointless. This game of cat and mouse is getting ... annoying."

"I know I acted like a jerk, but it's just that ... that ... " Man I hated stuttering like that.

"What Jace? What's wrong with just saying what you want? What's wrong with just being true for once?"

She was looking at me in the eyes with anger and incomprehension. I passed my hand in my hair and she raised her eyebrows waiting for me to tell her something. I looked at her big green eyes and without being able to control myself, I grabbed her and kissed her. She gasped in surprised before pulling me closer to her. I tackled her against the wall, growling against her mouth. She gasped again, opening her mouth and biting my lower lip. I pulled her up and she brought her legs around my waist, bringing me closer to her. One of my hand was passionately going up her right hip, while my other hand was behind her head, cupping her face. I felt her intertwining her fingers in my hair before she crushed my face against hers. Our tongues were battling for power, and when my hand left her hip to touch her skin under her shirt, she moaned, sending me to the edge. All my senses were on her, I was tasting her mouth, touching her skin, smelling her breath, hearing her uneven respiration, when the door suddenly opened.

"Clary! Are you up to a moviiiii.. Youpsie."

"Izzy, get the Hell out!"

I yelled at her through my teeth, not believing that once again a magic moment I was having with Clary had been stolen from me. I was going to kill her. She closed the door and I looked at Clary. She was blushing like crazy, and I released her, still caging her to the wall. She hesitated for a second before looking up to me.

"This can't keep happening."

"Why? Don't you like it when it happens?"

"That's not the point."

"That's precisely the point Clary."

"No, we can't go around kissing people, just because we feel like it!"

"I don't kiss you because I feel like it, I kiss you because I like you."

She gasped and looked at me in surprise. I cursed at myself for taking so long to realize that I liked her. She shook her head before trying to get away from me but I was not having it.

"Clary ..."

"Jace, this isn't making any sense!"

"So? I don't care, I just want to be with you ... To feel you in my arms, and to Hell if it doesn't make any sense."

She looked in my eyes, fear and anxiety in hers. I tensed, hoping that I didn't say too much and that she wouldn't runway. But she did the contrary and gently lift herself on her toes to kiss me. This kiss was soft, chaste, a simple peck on the lips, but it turned me on way more than the two other kisses we shared. I cupped her face with my two hands, delicately bringing her to me. When our kiss broke, I couldn't help but grin. I took her hand and lead her to the living room, knowing that Izzy had come to propose a movie. When we arrived at the living room, Alec, Max and Izzy were already sitting on the couch, debating on which movie they should pick. I started walking us in when she tried to set her hand free. I turned to look at her, unsure of what it meant. Wasn't I clear enough when I said that I liked her? Didn't it implied that I wanted her to be with me and I wanted for the world to see it? I secured her hand in mine, making her frown for a split second before softly smiling, and then I lead us to the sofa. We sat, hand in hand, under the wary eyes of Izzy and Alec, but they didn't say anything. Max, on the other hand, looked at Clary like if she was the eighth wonder of this world (but wasn't she?). He was standing gaping at her, and when she felt his gaze, I saw her smile at him like I'd never seen her smile.

"You must be Max."

"And you must be Clary."

"Yes. I heard that you love comic books?"

"They're a passion of mine, beside kicking Alec's and Jace's butt in video games."

She laughed before stating:

"I knew they wouldn't be a real challenge in this field. But if you want, I can show you a few comics that I brought with me."

"Oh yes!"

And with that she stood up and told us to pick a movie while leading Max back in her room. Why couldn't it had been me? I would have happily followed her in her room instead of staying here with Alec and Izzy staring at me like if I was an alien.

"Did you finally made up? Good thing that her mom told her to stay here for a few days."

I ignored Izzy, appreciating the fact that Clary was going to stay a bit longer. These holidays were starting just fine. I smiled to myself when Alec spoke.

"It's weird though, usually parents with kids in boarding schools do anything to have their children during the holidays. Look at Mom and Dad with Max. Every holidays they make him travel all the way from England just for two weeks or so. Sometimes they even do it for a long weekend."

"Well, I'm not complaining!"

"Maybe you're not, but see the things in Clary's point of view, it might ... I don't know, hurt her that her Mom tries to get rid of her just after she got back there."

I frowned, not knowing how I should take that. Should I feel happy that Clary was going to stay, or bad about the reasons of her staying? She came back, appearing at my side from nowhere. Max had the sort of smile he had on Christmas. She sat and I brought her closer to me, too happy to feel her next to me. I pulled a blanket out from under the sofa and rolled us in. She leaned against me and we watched the movie 'Coraline'. During the movie I realized how much of a bad idea it was to have her next to me like that. I was aware of her every breathe, of her every movements, of every beat of her heart.

~.o.O.o.~

"Aren't you tired?"

"I've never been more awake."

She smiled at me, slightly blushing. We were in front of her bedroom and she was playing with the handle of her door behind her back. She hesitated a moment before opening her door and entering her room. I stayed in the corridor, not sure of what to do.

"Well, aren't you coming?"

She was luxuriously looking at me, and I came into her room, for the first time with her permission. She started walking to the bed before thinking better of it and going to the window. What did she think I would do to her?

"I'm not planning on jumping on you Clary!"

"I know that."

"So what's up with the distance?"

She frowned before muttering : "I just like being at the window, it feels good."

I sat on the edge of her bed and played with one of her teddy bears. This was getting awkward. I sighed and passed a hand in my hair. After thinking about it, I went to her taking her hand in mine.

"Jace?"

"You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, right?"

"I know that."

"So why are you so afraid?"

"I'm not!"

She could have been convicting if she hadn't been trembling when she said so. How could she had been so seductive a few minutes ago and now scared to death by my very presence. I lifted her chin, but she refused to look at me and started shivering even more. I said her name but she refused to lift her head up, and I saw tears falling on her knees.

"Clary?"

"This is so not happening! This is so very not happening!"

She angrily wiped her eyes and got up, shoving me on the side. Then she bolted to the bathroom, leaving me standing there, speechless. What just happened? This girl was incomprehensible. She came back in the room with a miserable smile on her face.

"I'm sorry about that, I don't know what came over me. It wasn't how I imagined things."

She smiled to me, waiting for me to reply something, but the thing was I didn't know what to say. I knew what I wanted to say, but I also knew that I shouldn't. I wanted her to trust me enough to tell me what was wrong with her, what made her so wary of people but I didn't know how to do that without her retiring within herself.

"Maybe we should get to bed. I'm sure you're more tired than you said with all that boxing you did this morning." She started walking to her closet when I hurled :

"Can I stay with you?"

She longly looked at me before smiling. "Sure." She took out a shirt before looking at me again. "Well, I'll put my Jammie's on."

I stayed standing there before getting what she meant. I left her room through the bathroom and grabbed some old jogging trousers and shirt to put on. I still couldn't believe what I had done. When I went back to her room she was on her bed, under her covers, her sketchpad on her knees. Did I stay in my room so long? She lifted her head, her wild hair forming a halo, to smile to me, making my heart beat faster than it should. I felt so awkward, like I was brought back to my fifteen years old self.

"What're you drawing?" She turned her sketchpad for me to see an unfinished drawing of the Joker. A young Joker with blue eyes and familiar features.

"Is this Max?"

"Your brother as a really good taste in matter of heroes."

"Hero? The Joker is the villain in case you misunderstood that."

She shook her head before putting her sketchpad away and patting the bed next to her. I joined her, unable to control my heart as I got closer to her.

"It's all a question of perspective. It's not because he appears as the bad guy that he is. He just have different ideals than the common run of people. And at least you can always rely on him to be as dishonest as he's always been. You cannot say the same about superheroes. Look what happened at Superman!"

I chuckled at her statement and froze when I felt her slowly putting her head on my shoulder. She straightened herself right away before smiling in a disabused way.

"This is not going to work, is it?"

"Sorry Clary, it's just that I feel ... that you're not comfortable with me being so close to you. Maybe I shouldn't have asked to stay with you."

"No, no. It's fine!"

Her tone actually reassured me, she really meant for me to stay with her. I decided to give a shot to my instincts.

"Clary, can I ask you something?" She nodded, bringing her knees to her chest. "Does you being so... wary of me has anything to do with your ex?"

That's it, the question was out. She gasped before putting her head in the cavity between her chest and knees. I waited for her to say something or do something. I waited for what seemed hours before she lifted her head up and whispered:

"Sort of. But I don't want to talk about it. Not now, maybe later. I don't want to think about him right now. I want to appreciate the time I have with _you_."

"Okay." How could she make me so happy and so concerned in the same time? "Just one question though. Did he hurt you?"

Her breathe quickened and with that, I understood that I already knew the answer. Whatever he did, he hurt her deeply, more than she could ever say. I took her in my arms and she rested her head against my chest.

"You could say that."

Just the fact that she stated out loud that she got hurt by him made me clench my fist and tighten my jaw. If only I knew who he was, I'd happily introduce him to my fist. I didn't know why, but I felt that I had to protect Clary, protect her with my life from her past, present and future. Suddenly she removed herself from me to look straight into my eyes. As always when she did that, I had the feeling that she was looking straight into my soul. She smiled, tilting her head to the side before bending to me to kiss me. Chastely, purely at first and as I was staying as still as I could, she took my face in her hands before flying her fingers in the back of my head, intertwining them in my hair. Then she slowly climbed on top of me and I felt that she wasn't wearing any trousers. I slowly put my hands on her back, realizing that she wasn't wearing a bra. She gasped when I touched her, breaking our kiss. I used the occasion to kiss her neck, and when I started to suck her skin on her collarbone she moaned, turning me on like a premature virgin. I took her hands in mines to steady her as well as myself. I had my eyes closed, but I could feel her staring at me. I opened my eyes to see only confusion in hers.

"Trust me Clary, I want to, but, not like that."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want us to be a one night-stand, or friends with benefits. And I certainly don't want our first time to be just after we talked about your ex being an asshole!"

She climbed off of me, frowning. She looked pained and hurt. Great, once again harmed her without wanting to.

"Are you saying that you don't find me attractive enough to ..." She trailed her sentence, letting me understand that she meant 'sex'.

"What? No! Trust me, you're plenty attractive! You have no idea how turned on I am right now!"

"So why ..."

"Because I want a _real_ relationship with you!"

She thought about what I said for a moment before smiling and I kissed her forehead. She got up to switch off the light, making me clench my jaw to restring myself. Her shirt arrived at her mid tights revealing so much more than she ever did. Once the light was off, she ran back to the bed and curled herself against me, her tiny head against my chest, and she quickly fell asleep. As she was there, sleeping in my arms like that, I thought on how I could easily fall into the habit of spooning her, even though the feeling of her against me, her bare legs against mines aroused me a bit.

~.o.O.o.~

**So here was chapter 14 with the arrival of Max, we don't see him that much, but that's because I can't put all Max's awesomeness in one chapter! **

**I hope that you liked this chapter, and that you're not getting bored of the story, and I'm so sorry for the cheesiness, but promise, it won't last forever. I actually really hope that you're liking the story so far because for the last chapters I had a sort of writer's block (I'm sure you could tell), so tell me if you think somethings should be here. **

**As for Jordan, he'll appear next chapter. **

**Oh I might not be able to update tomorrow, it's my little sister's birthday, and being the baker of the family, I'm in charge with the cake, muffins, cookies and all pastries (so I'll be cooking all night long and entertaining all say long tomorrow). **

**You know the drift on the credits, so **

Cheers.


	14. Chapter 14

**And here comes chapter 15. With Clary's point of view and a 'new' character's quick arrival. **

**As usual, Cassandra Clare owns every characters. **

~.o.O.o.~

I woke up rather early, sure that something had awaken me, but not knowing what it was. I looked at the red digits of the alarm clock, 6:47. I sighed. How could I wake up so early during holidays and sleep until impossible hours during school days. I cuddled a bit more against Jace so happy to feel him so close to me. I wondered how he could bring such feelings within me. It was like whenever I was around him, I was a whole new person. A person whose gravity center was Jace. Everything I was doing, I was thinking, I was feeling was Jace related. Suddenly my phone rang, and I knew that it was that noise that woke me in the first place. I looked at the ID caller and my heart skipped a beat before I answered.

"Jordan? What's wrong?"

"Hey Clary. Simon's alright don't worry."

I sighed in relieve. Jordan was the one who had been by my side to help Simon with his drug problems. A sort of sponsor you could say. There was a time where he would have call me at impromptus hours because Simon would have get himself in some troubles. Having him call me at this early hour awaken so many unpleasant memories.

"Why do you call me at 7am? Not that I'm not glad to hear from you, but _7am_!"

"I ... I just wanted to talk to you. Where can we meet? It's kind of urgent."

"Do you know the Institute?"

"Yes I'll be there in 20 minutes."

I hang up, anxious on what he had to tell me. He could say all he wanted, but the only reason he'd want to see me, was Simon. I got out of the bed as silently as I could, trying not to wake up Jace and went to the bathroom after having quickly grabbed some cloths in the closet. I took a really fast shower and brushed my teeth, still thinking of Jordan and what would make him call this way at the crack of the dawn. I put on my trousers and shirt and noiselessly got out of the room, surprised that Jace was still sleeping. I always had pictured him as a morning person. At my big surprise, Luke was on the other side of the door. I looked at him, literally shocked about him being in the Institute. He looked tired, as if he hadn't slept all night. He had dark rings under his eyes, making him look somehow ferocious. His gray strand of hair, that always was carefully brought back to his hair, was now widely hanging on his forehead. It was a bit scary to see him like that, but not as scary that to see him at all so early at the Institute in front of my bedroom, _without my Mom._

"Luke! What are you doing here? Where's Mom?"

He looked at me, desperation lightening his eyes when I talked about my Mom. I gasped and fell to the ground on my knees. This could be happening. I started missing air when I heard him saying something:

"It's not what you think Clary. It's just that your Mom ... disappeared."

"What?" I lifted my head up, and he knelt in front of me, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"She's not at your place, not answering her phone, and she didn't show up to her class yesterday night."

"But that doesn't make any sense. I talked to her yesterday. I was in the mall when she called me and ..."

I tried to recall the conversation and remembered that something was off. Despite the fact that she called me from a private number, she had seemed awfully distant, as if she was watching what she was saying ... as if someone was listening to her. I stared wide eyed in realization.

"Luke, do you think that he got her?"

"I don't know Clary, but if he does, he'll come after you."

"But I thought that ... You said he was..."

"I know, but before yesterday I didn't think he was in New-York. Clary your father is a very dangerous man when it comes to put his plans in action, so ...

"We have to go and get her. What if he hurt her!"

"She sent you here to protect you, believe me, she didn't want to, the only thing you can do is to stay here. Let me go and get her."

"But..."

"Clary I need your word, I won't be able to focus on getting back your mother if I have to worry about you and your whereabouts all the time. I need your word that you'll stay on the Institute's ground."

He looked straight in my eyes and I nodded. How could I not? I knew that he wanted my mother back as much as I did. I knew that he cared, more than anyone about her, about me. He always had been there for us, why should he desert us now?

"I'll bring her back to you, I promise."

I nodded again, repelling the tears that wanted to come out. I stood up, with as mush grace and confidence that I could manage to show, and after doing the same, he pated my hair (like he had seen my Mom do so many times) and left. I waited a few minutes before heading myself to the entrance doors of the Institute. I wanted to cry, I wanted to cry so much, I wanted to cry until my eyes were dry and my throat was sore, but I couldn't. Not yet, Jordan was waiting for me with I don't know what kind of other bad news. I waited at the doorframe, keeping my promise to Luke and not putting a single toe on the pavement, and when Jordan finally arrived on his bike, he came straight to me, removing his helmet. When he arrived at the doorframe, he examined me as much as I did him. He had changed since the last time I saw him. His dark brown hair had gotten longer, his skin more tanned, his body more muscular. He had this fiery look that meant 'don't mess with me'. I couldn't see his arms due to his jacket, but I knew that he had tattoos on them. Old Indian mantras telling him how much stronger the mind was over the body. Jordan was my model, after all that he had been through, he still managed to find himself stronger.

"Clary, are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded, incapable of articulating a single syllable. I made him enter and swallowed the bile that was forming in my throat.

"So, what's so wrong you couldn't tell me on the phone?"

He studied me carefully, playing with his helmet in his hands. I saw him watching my cloths, a note of surprise in his eyes. When we met, I was all about flower dresses or manga cloths, now I was more into baggy cloths. He inspected my face, his eyes feeling on me like X-rays. He tried deliberately to spin around the subject.

"I heard some stuffs that I thought you should know."

"Such as?"

"Jonathan."

I didn't do or say anything, trying to stay indifferent of that name. Jordan was still looking at me, debating if he should tell me more or not. I decided to give him some help.

"And. He's gone, isn't he."

He hesitated before rocking from one foot to another, avoiding my gaze.

"Isn't he?"

"Well, the word is out that he's back." I took in the news, trying to see the positive in it: back didn't mean in my life. "And looking for you..."

I stayed motionless waiting for the wave to hit me, but it never came. I only felt numb. I heard Jordan calling my name a few times before I heard myself telling him I was okay and telling him goodbye. I felt as if I lost control over my own body, I felt as if an endless void was surrounding me and taking me to some other place. Before I knew it, I was on the rooftop of the Institute, sitting on the edge, my legs swinging in the air. Why? Why? Why? Why did my life had to be to fucking hard? Why? Why couldn't I live this happy routine that everyone was so eager to quit? I would happily trade my sucky life with anyone's average life? Why me? What have I done wrong in a past life to deserve that? I inspired a deep breathe and then bursted into tears. I was crying of the unfairness of my life. At that moment, only Jonathan was in my mind. Jonathan and how much I hated him. How much I hated him for what he had done to me, for what he had done to Simon, for how he made me feel. But most of all, I hated myself for crying over him, for being frightened like a little girl by the very motion of him breathing. I brought my knees to my chest while the sun was starting to shine at its most. It must have been noon. I had spend almost four hours crying, and I still couldn't stop. The tears kept rolling on my cheeks, the sobs kept growing in my throat. As hard as I tried, I couldn't stop myself. I knew that I should get back inside because people probably started to worry, but I just couldn't stop crying. Crying over my missing mother, crying over Jonathan's reappearance, crying over myself. And again and again and again. It seemed endless when it finally stopped. I brutally stood up, furiously whipping my tears away and I went back to the Institute. Curiously, I found no one on my way to my room and once there, I locked myself in, heading straight to the closet. I flew open the doors and took out all my baggy cloths to throw them on a pile. I also took my shirt off of me to threw it with the rest of my cloths. This was a part of me that Jonathan wasn't going to take away from me anymore. It was for him that I changed my clothing habits, I was so not going to let him take over my life anymore! If I wouldn't be able to help my mother, I would certainly would be able to help myself! I pushed all of the cloths on the floor in a corner before going to the bathroom. But as soon as I opened the door, I saw an anxious Jace who wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace as soon as he saw me.

"Where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you!"

He let go me to slightly cup his hands around my face. He was about to kiss me, when he noticed something on my face.

"Have you been crying?"

How was I supposed to answer that without him asking more questions. I took the easy way out, and after tiptoeing myself, I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. I kissed as passionately as I wanted to forget what happened in my life. He hesitated, and I closed the gap between us, making our bodies touch, but still he was not responding as I wanted. I angrily intertwined the fingers of one of my hands in his hair, while my other hand tried to find his sweet spot. When I finally had him in my hand and felt him growing harder, he finally reacted and broke the kiss while taking my hand off of him.

"Clary what's wrong?"

"Make me forget. Please, make me forget."

That sounded more like a supplication than anything else, but it was all I wanted : forget. And Jace always brought everything to him. Jace was my gravity center whenever he was around, whenever he was mentioned, whenever I thought of him. I surprisingly could feel new tears building up in my eyes, so I turned my head and started to go to the door when Jace's voice stopped me.

"You don't want to do that."

"Uh? Why?"

"You're not wearing anything except a bra."

I looked down at myself and wrapped my arms around my chest before realizing what just happened. I threw myself at him, half-naked, obviously ready to take it to the next level, and he still rejected me. I turned to face him and found him closer than I expected him to be. In no seconds, he took me in his arms, but I was not having it. I didn't want to be a Jorah Mormont and stuck in the fucking friendzone. I pushed him off of me and started yelling at him.

"Jace if you don't want me, don't play this game!"

"What do you mean?"

"It means what it means! If you think that I'm off limits when it comes to sex, then I don't want this relation! I want all of you! I don't want to be just your friend that you occasionally kiss when your lips get bored!"

He opened his eyes with surprise and shock before pacing in the room like a mad man. I closed my eyes to hold back the tears building in my eyes (how could I still be able to cry?) when he started yelling back at me, making me snap my eyes open to see him next to the bathroom door.

"You think this is easy for me? Seeing you like that, dressed next to nothing, and knowing that if I touch you, you'll freeze as if I burned you! Don't you think that I want to hold you right now? Don't you think that I want to have my way with you right now? But I can't!"

"And why can't you?"

"Don't make me say it out loud, we both know that it won't make you feel any better."

He stared at me while I took in was he was insinuating. He knew. How could he? I never said anything to him, or to anyone else beside Simon and my Mom for that matter. That was changing everything. How could I be with him now that he knew? How will I be able to build a new me with him if he knew? I turned to avoid his gaze, leaning my face against the door. I wanted to cry, but God help me, I wasn't going to cry for a boy, not again. I don't know how I managed to talk, but when I did, my voice was steady:

"Well in that case, I don't hold you back. I'd hate for you to feel bad about my life. Just go Jace."

I heard the bathroom door closing and swallowed back my upcoming tears. Once again Jonathan ruined my life. He was getting good, now he could do it without even being here. I opened the door to leave this room that was starting to freak me out when I suddenly felt Jace's presence behind me. He closed the door with his hands and started to kiss my neck, making me shiver as if he was electrifying me. "I want to make it go away Clary." His hands left the door to softly fluter up my arms. His lips were flickering against the skin of my neck. "I swear I'll make it go away." Slowly, very slowly, one of his hands undid my braid, setting my wild hair loose. Gently he made me turn and I closed my eyes, refusing to let him see what a rack I was. He kissed my forehead, my eyes, my nose, and then he said, leaning his forehead against mine : "Clary, open your eyes please." I shook my head and he asked again. He was holding me with such gentleness that I could only comply. I opened my eyes to meet his. If only I could get lost in the gold of his eyes. He was staring at me, his eyes full of so many emotions I couldn't understand. He cupped my head still holding my gaze. "Let me make it go away." And then he kissed me, with that same gentleness he had made me turn. I melted against his kiss, wishing for it to never end. Slowly he pushed me against the door, never breaking the kiss. One of his hand slowly left my face to go on my lower back, making me shiver. I gently lifted my hand to wrap them around his neck, not trying to change our kiss. It was perfect, just perfect. Me in his arms, feeling like I was someone. Like I was someone _to him_. Suddenly, the door opened, knocking my head to his.

"Clary do you know wh...?"

I sighed on the inconvenience. Never I would have a normal alone-moment with Jace. Once again Izzy had interrupted us. Her head was popping through the door. Her eyes going from Jace to me when I hissed at her:

"Ever heard of the word 'knock'?"

"Jace ... can't you hold your hormones for a second!"

Okay, if this wasn't ignoring me, I didn't know what it was. I moved to let her enter completely, knowing how futile it was to fight against her. Jace, on the other hand, didn't seem so happy to see her. Izzy looked at me up and down signaling something with her eyes. I looked down at myself and blushed before rushing to my closet to find something to wear. I heard Jace chuckled and Izzy scold him:

"Seriously Jace, what's wrong with you? This isn't ..."

"Izzy, shut up!"

I didn't know why, but all of the sudden, he was in a really bad mood. I put on a tank top and turned to face her. She shook her head when she saw what I was wearing, but Jace smiled.

"Jace, Mom is looking for you. She's in Dad's office with him."

He frowned at her, asking her silently what they wanted, but she just smiled at him. I turned to my closet, trying to be as invisible as possible to leave them at their silent sibling-moment. Half a minute late, Jace kissed my forehead under Izzy's wary eyes and left me with her. I couldn't help but wince at the idea of Izzy and I in the same room just after she had seen me kiss her brother twice. I could feel her need to talk about it pour out of her.

"So I see you decided to clean your wardrobe from all those ... things you called cloths, you know what that mean?"

"We're not having another shopping session Izzy! Once a year is more than enough!"

"It's either shopping or we talk about what I just walked into..."

She deviously smiled at me. In both case, I didn't want to do it, but shopping would make me break my promise to Luke.

"Well, let's talk about that then."

"Man, you must _really_ hate shopping. So what's going on between you two?"

"I don't know."

"You haven't stopped kissing for three days, and you don't know what's going on?!"

"I guess not."

"And there was no sex, you're sure?"

"I think I'd know."

Izzy looked at me as if her eyes were about to jump out of her eyeballs.

"Well, he must _really_ like you. Jace doesn't do good with abstinence."

I couldn't hold back a snort, making Izzy look at me suspiciously. I avoided her gaze when she suddenly got up.

"Anyway, no shopping doesn't mean no make over. You owe me one remember, I'm so going to make him drool and wish he could have his hands all over you!"

"Should I be worried that you want to put me in your brother's bed?"

"You like him don't you?" I nodded. That was something I was sure of, in the middle of this wreck that my life was, I really liked Jace. "In that case, no worries. Anyway, if you don't want to do anything with him, he won't, but that doesn't mean we can't make him suffer. Come on, all my stuffs are in my room, and I have some cloths that I'm sure would fit you."

~.o.O.o.~

**Here was chapter 14. Hope you liked it. And don't worry, Jordan will be more present, just you wait a few chapters (he'll be off for a bit). And as for the Alec lovers, wait for the next chapter. And for the Clace romance next chapter also. **

**Anyway, I might update later during the night, but not sure (I'm so tired, I baked for 6hours for this birthday, and exhausted doesn't even cover it). In any case, thank you all reviewer, followers and favoriters (is that even a word?), this is my first fanfic ever, and I was not sure that you'd like it, but apparently you do, so yay THANK YOUUUUUUUU (if I could I'd send you a piece of cake each). **

**Cheers **


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello to you guys. Here comes chapter 15 with Jace's point of view. I know I said I would try to upload yesterday night, but sleep was stronger!**

**You know that as usual, all the credits go to Cassandra Clare. **

~.o.O.o.~

I left Clary's room unwillingly. I wanted to talk about what was going on between us, and mostly, I didn't want to leave her alone with Izzy. I knew that she cared for Clary, she had been looking for her all over the place when I noticed that she was missing from my arms. I thought at first that she just had waken up before me and left to have breakfast, but when I had entered the kitchen Izzy was there, alone, asking me if I knew if Clary was awake. That had made all my blood leave my face. What was I supposed to think? She had left the bed we shared at the break of the dawn and now was nowhere to be seen. I had been so terrified that she had thought better of what had happened last night and left to go back to her place. I had looked for her everywhere, going to her flat, to the sport-room and to the auto shop while Izzy was checking the school and kept on calling her. I suddenly snapped out of my reminiscence, being in front of Robert's office door and knocked before entering. Robert was sitting behind his desk while Maryse was pacing, she looked exhausted and on the edge to cry. As I closed the door, she looked at me, pure worry and concern in her eyes. Oh, that didn't seemed good at all.

"What's wrong?"

"We have to take a trip to Europe. We dropped Max the Verlac's and we're leaving in an hour."

Robert answered to me while getting up. There was definitely something wrong. I mean why would they call me to their office just to tell me about a stupid trip. It wasn't like they haven't done that before. Almost every year they were going somewhere to do I don't know what. Maryse leaned against the study and put her face in one of her hand. She really seemed tired.

"Jace you remember what I said about skipping school with Clary?"

"Yes?"

"Well, that applies to you too now. Until we get back, you cannot leave the Institute."

"Uh, what? Why?"

Something was definitely wrong, never they had grounded me, nor set up such rules. Maryse sighed while Robert was gathering up some files. She _really_ looked tired.

"Because I tell you so. I promise I'll explain everything when we'll be back, but in the mean time I need you to trust that what I do is in your best interest."

I nodded, I wanted to know more about it, but I didn't want to crush her with zillion questions. She weakly smiled at me, and I took it as a cue to leave. Just as I opened the door, Robert put his hand on my shoulder, making me turn to look at him straight in the eyes.

"Jace, I count on you not to get out of the Institute, and also to keep Clary in. Neither of you are to leave, do you understand?"

Once again I nodded before leaving to go back to our quarters. What was that all about? First Clary needing protection, and now us being forbidden to leave the Institute. I heaved when I ran into Alec, who was trying to sneak back into the quarters. His hair were all messed up, his eyes looking like he hadn't slept all night and his body all glittery.

"Is this an hour to come back Alec? If Robert catches you like that you're a dead man!"

"You want to talk? How many time did you come back in a worst state?"

"But with no proof all over my body, I could pretend that I only went to jog or the sport room early. But that" I dusted some of the glitter from his shirt " Thant my friend is calling for trouble!"

"Well thanks for the advise, I'll be more careful next time."

"Next time? Oh so this is a we-see-each-other-on-a-regular-basis kind of girl!"

We had kept on walking while talking and now he was rushing in his room and I followed him because I knew that Izzy was still cooking Clary, and I was in no hurry to be cooked myself (what a great job to leave Clary be tortured like that by your sister!). Alec laid in his bed after taking out his shoes and growled something about being tired.

"Well that what nights are for. Now it's almost 2pm and no one had eaten in this house! What's wrong with the world? Come on, we better go to the kitchen before Izzy takes it hostage!"

He wined a bit before following me to the kitchen to collapse on a chair and put his hands over his head. Great I was the one stuck with cooking now. I managed a simple salad, the kitchen being silent except for Alec's moaning from time to time.

"By the way, the folks are traveling to Europe, they're about to leave."

That had the merit to wake him entirely. He stood straight, all trace of sleep gone from his face.

"What about Max? They never leave when Max is around!"

"I know, they dropped him at Sébastian's. Don't ask me why, I don't know."

"You know what that mean?" He looked at me, already wary of what would happen when Izzy finds out.

"No, we're not having a party. It always ends with her friends getting drunk and us fixing the pieces!"

He approved, but thought for a second.

"Maybe we could restrain her by saying that we just want a few people over."

"Izzy doesn't know what 'a few' means!"

We heaved together making us laugh. Then he mumble something about inviting someone over and took his phone out of his pocket to text that someone. Man, Alec was getting bold. Never had I seen him sneak out of the house to see a girl, that was what I _used_ to do, and now he was inviting her over. Izzy suddenly entered the kitchen, happiness written all over her face. Oh no she knew.

"Guys, Mom and Dad are leaving town, we _have_ to ..."

"No we don't! Izzy let us rest for once during our holidays!"

She pouted before sitting next to her brother. It was insane how much they looked alike, you could almost mistake them for twins, their only difference being her lack of blue eyes. She was so annoyed by that fact that she had tried to put but lenses, but failed miserably. She looked over her brother's shoulder, and whispered something to him. Okay, so everyone knew he had a girl but me, I needed to pay more attention to what was surrounding me. Talking about that,

"Izzy, where is Clary?"

"On the phone with Simon about a certain Jonathan. Speaking of the Devil, where was she this morning, she wouldn't say?"

"How would I know, you interrupted us."

"Sure, because this is your idea of asking questions? Kissing and stripping her until she tell you?"

Alec chuckled along with Izzy, enraging me more than it should.

"I didn't strip any one! She was already like that when I found her..."

"Well next time lock the door, I don't want to have my eyes burned by what I might see in this room!"

"Next time try knocking!"

Clary appeared in the kitchen at this right moment, chuckling. And when I say appeared, I mean it. She was wearing a black and pink sleeveless dress. The neckline was black, curving her bra-less breast in a way that made me bite my lower lip. The pinkish bottom of the dress arrived at her midnight, revealing her bare legs. Izzy hadn't manage to make her wear stiletto heels nor get her out of her boots-style, but still managed to make her wear compensated heels looking like boots. I slowly looked back up, noticing on the way that she was wearing bracelets on her tattoo-free arm and a long cross necklace. I couldn't get fast enough to her face, but in the mean time couldn't take my eyes off of her body. When my eyes finally met hers, she was curiously looking at me. Her curly hair were like I liked them, loose falling on her shoulders. She had barely any make up on her face, a hint of mascara, a touch of eyeliner, and that's it. Her eyes studied my reaction and I turned my head, clenching my fist and my jaw, before allowing myself to do something inappropriate in front of my siblings. Izzy glared at me grinning. I sighed before setting the table, decided to ignore that annoying person that was said to be my sister. Clary sat next to me, sending me scents of her strawberry shampoo. During the whole meal, we all fought against Izzy and her crazy idea of a party. Clary was the most vehement against it and the argument finally ended with Izzy having no party but having a living Barbie doll for the next month, not that I was complaining with what she was doing to Clary. Once we were done eating, Izzy said that she had to see someone (lucky her, she could still go in and out as she wanted) and Alec staggered his way to his bedroom muttering something about a deep need of sleep. I turned to Clary, asking her what she wanted to do. She shrugged proposing a movie. I took her to the living room when her eyes laid on the PS3.

"Or I could kick your ass at SkullGirls?"

"You only wish. If Max wins, it's only because I let him. I won't hold back because you're a girl!"

"Good because me neither."

I sat next to her, inches away from her and we played for a good hour and every time she was beating me to the ground. Whatever the character she took, she beat me effortlessly. After another defeat I abandoned the remote on the side of the couch and leaned my head back.

"I give up, you're not a normal human girl! You're from another planet or something!"

She chuckled before getting up and putting back the remotes to their place. Then she came in front of me (with me sitting, she was slightly taller than me) standing there for half a minute before mumbling something about her homework. I grabbed her hand before she could go anywhere and she looked at me warily.

"Jace ..."

"I know Clary, but what I said yesterday, I meant it. I do want to be with you. The question is do you?"

"You know that I do..."

I closed my eyes of relief, letting out a breathe that I didn't know was holding. I brought her closer to me, putting my hands on her bare back (apparently her dress was also revealing her back) and she softly brushed my hair with her fingers. The simple fact that she was touching me so sensually sent shivers up and down my whole body. I gently kissed her at the beginning of her neckline, feeling through my lips her heart beating unsteadily. I slowly went up, and when my lips where on her collarbone, she clenched her fists in my hair. I brought her closer, sucking her soft skin which made her gasp and arch to me. I felt myself getting excited, but knew that I could still control it. Slowly, ever so slowly I moved my lips to hers, playing with her, making her wait a little longer every time she thought I'd kiss her. When I finally kissed her, her bending over me, I felt goosebumps on her skin. I lifted my hands to her hair and deepened our kiss, begging for entrance in her mouth. When she let me in, she sat on top of me, leaning me against the couch. I let her took control for a moment, relished of the way she held on to me, on the way she kissed me, on the way her hips would tightened around me. Still kissing her, one of my hands left her hair to explore her legs. Slowly my fingers caressed the soft skin from her calf to her tight, and suddenly I flipped her for her to be on her back and me to be in between her legs. She gasped when I touched one of her breast through the fabric of her dress and arched herself and when I started caressing it, she moaned, arising me more than I excepted. I pecked her lips and rested my head on her chest, trying not to be too heavy. I heard her heart flickering while she was trying to steady it and making me smirk.

"Keep on lightening me like that, and I'll burn all too soon."

I smirked even more and sat up. I saw a glimpse of disappointment in her eyes as she also sat. We stared at each other, her playing with her long curls while my fingers itched to do the same, when she abruptly got up. She mumbled something about being right back. She left and came back a couple of minutes later with her sketchpad in her hands. I raised an eyebrow at her before asking her:

"You want to make a remake of Titanic? Sorry I don't have any blue diamond for me to only wear." She rolled her eyes and sat back next to me.

"You know, I'm trying to be nice here."

"Are you?"

"Just sit and watch."

She opened her sketchpad at the first page and introduced me to her world. She showed drawings oh her Mom, an older version of her. They were the same, same eye color, same hair color, same features, same smile, same snub nose. Watching drawings of her Mom, I could easily imagine myself a future with Clary. Then she showed me drawings of Simon, and then of Luke.

"He's the father I never had."

"You don't know your father?"

I knew that she was living alone with her mother, but I figured that her parents were just separated. She shook her head, avoiding my gaze.

"Well, in that case we are the same." She smiled, nodding.

"Yes, but we both had great people to take care of us, didn't we?"

I nodded, surprisingly willing to open out to her.

"Yes Valentine was great. Strict but great. I miss him sometimes."

"Is that your Godfather?"

"Yes. I past my whole childhood with him. I was homeschooled you see, and he taught me so many things that you don't learn at school : astronomy, calligraphy, martial combats, burglary, different kind of languages, ..."

"You speak other languages?"

"Mais, bien sûr. J'ai plusieurs talents cachés." (_Of course. I have many hidden skills_.)

Even though she smiled, shaking her head and making her hair bounce all around her face, I could have swore that I saw a hint of sadness in her eyes.

"You don't have to show off, I believe you!"

I chuckled and put my hand over her shoulder, ready to see more parts of her life. She turned the pages of her pad showing unknown faces that she draw because they had something that caught her artistic eye. Suddenly she closed the pad, even though there were still many unseen pages and put it beside her, too far for me to catch it. She smiled at me, trying to wipe off what she just did, but I knew what it was all about. Her ex. I hugged her a little tighter, a billion of questions burning my lips, but that I didn't dare ask, I didn't want to awake unpleasant memories to her. She rested her head against my shoulder and, slowly, I felt her doze off to another world.

~.o.O.o.~

"Dude, wake up, Izzy is trying to cook!"

I got on my feet at this threatening wake up. Izzy in the kitchen with food in her hands, indigestion was on its way. I looked at the couch, but there were no Clary on it.

"Where's Clary?"

"Trying to save us all by taking over the kitchen. The problem is Izzy's not having it!"

I rub my eyes before following Alec to the kitchen. Clary and Izzy were arguing over a recipe that apparently Izzy printed out of the internet. I was about to state that I was not eating whatever Izzy would cook when I noticed someone else's presence. There was a long and lean man against the counter, playing with a banana in his hands. He had a brown skin and Asian blue eyes making them look like cats' eyes. He wore his hair spiky and had glitter all over his body. I looked from him to Alec, connecting all the facts one by one.

"Hello I'm Magnus, I take it that you're Jace?"

I shook his hand, nodding to his statement. The kitchen was oddly silent and I regained my composure. I sat down and tried to ease the mood I unintentionally thickened.

"I'm not sure you choose your best day to show up. You'll end up at the hospital if you eat something Izzy cooked!"

"Fuck you Jace! "

"Izzy, you managed to burn your cereals!"

She heaved and sat in front of me, pouting and mumbling something about us 'always ganging up against her'.

"If you want, I can show you a few quick tips."

Alec and I shook violently our heads knowing that Izzy had a gene to literally spoil food. However, Alec saved our lives by grabbing his keys and Magnus' hand and saying.

"We'll order a takeout from Taki's! I feel like eating Chinese!"

And with that, he was gone. Izzy shrugged and left the kitchen, probably to go pout in her room. Clary came to me and sat on my laps. She smiled before softly pecking my lips.

"Is her cooking that bad?"

"The fact that she managed to _burn_ her cereals should answer your question."

"How did she do that?"

"I don't know, but we had to buy a new microwave afterward, the other one melted!" She chuckled, sparkles glomming in her eyes.

"In that case ... " I nodded, still shivering about the idea of Izzy cooking. "By the way, you never guessed?"

"What?"

"Alec being gay?"

Great, apparently everyone knew but me. I _really_ needed to pay more attention to people around me. How could Clary could have known and I don't when she barely talked to him. Izzy, I'd understand, but _Clary_! She was smiling at me waiting for an answer when I shook my head.

"I'm sure he had a crush on you."

"Who wouldn't? I mean look at that!" I indicated the all of me, making her roll her eyes and chuckle before snuggling into me. I wrapped my arms around her and put my head in her neck, inhaling her strawberry flavor. We stayed like that until Alec's return, earning a few jeers from him when he entered the kitchen.

Once the we finished eating, Izzy said that she had a date and left, Alec and Magnus barricaded themselves in the living room under the pretext to watch a horror movie. I looked at Clary, asking her what she wanted to do. She smiled, biting her lips and turning me on in the process.

"I don't know about you, but I think I'll just collapse in my bed."

Then she turned and left the kitchen, popping her head back for just a second, winking at me. I smiled and followed her. Once in her room, she went to her closet, grabbing one of her shirt she used as pajamas and started heading to the bathroom. I stopped her midway, taking her tiny hand in mine and cupping her face with my other. I smiled at her, realizing that she was a little taller than usual.

"Maybe I should help you get out of that dress."

I heard her suck in a breathe before I kissed her. At first, she stood still, not sure of what to do, and all of the sudden she dropped her shirt on the floor and kissed me back. My hand slowly left her face to brush down her arm. One by one I removed the bracelets that she was wearing, never breaking our kiss. Then when I removed her necklace, I bent down a little more to kiss her neck, spotting a hickey that I had left there. She gasped when my lips opened to let me suck her skin, making me smile : I had found one of her sensitive point, every time I had touched her there she had been on a breaking point. Her hands clawed my back while I had one of my hands on her lower back, and my other on the hem of her dress. When my fingers skimmed her tights, her grip on me got tighter and she moaned. Man, I loved when she was moaning like that! I kissed back her mouth, lifting her up, deepening our kiss, and she folded her legs around my waist and I led us to her bed. As I moved, I felt her hesitation, and instead of laying her on her back, I sat for her to be on top of me. Her hands left my back for her fingers to intertwine themselves in my hair. My hands left her frame to caress the bare skin of her legs and remove her shoes. Her lips left mine to flicker down my jaw to my neck, to my collarbone. She was kissing me so slowly, so gently, it felt like butterflies' touch and it was making me harder than I excepted to be. Her hands were all over my torso, playing with my shirt when suddenly, she started lifting it up. I quickly took it off, before cupping her face in my hands and admiring her beautiful emeralds. Her cheeks was slightly pinker than usual, her eyes glassy and she saw panting for air. I smiled at her. Man I wanted her so much. I kissed her, crashing her to me, and I felt my cock growing harder when she moaned against my mouth, bringing me closer to her. My hands flew to her legs, furiously winding up her tights, making her gasp and tighten the grip she had around my waist. I so wanted to get rid of her annoying dress, but I was not sure that she was ready to take it to the next step. She brusquely stood up and let her dress drop on the floor. If I wasn't already hard, the simple view of her like that would have done the job. I closed my eyes and sight, trying to get a hold on myself. Then I took her back in my arms and flipped us on the bed, one of my hand on one of her breast and the other brushing her hair with.

"Clary, we better stop now, I'm not sure I ..."

"It's okay Jace."

Her right hand flew to my face to caress my cheek. Confidence was written all over her face as she looked at me. I bent down to kiss her while I started to caress her breast, which made her arch to me. I left her lips, kissing my way down to her breast, and sucking her nipple once it met my lips. She gasped and arched again, and when my right hand found its way to her pussy she moaned my name, sending me to the edge. I left her erected nipple to take care of the other, while fondling her clit and removing my trousers. I felt her wetting my fingers, making me yearning to be in her. I went back to kiss her neck, but when I tried to position my legs between hers I heard sobbing. I opened my eyes in shock and saw that she had covered her face with her hands, tears rolling on her cheeks.

"I thought I could do it, but I can't. I'm so sorry Jace!"

"Don't. You've nothing to be sorry about."

I sat up and spotted my shirt on the edge of the bed. I took it and gave it to her. She put it on, avoiding looking at me. I took her face in my hands and wiped her tears away.

"Never apologize for what that asshole did to you. I told I'll make it go away, and I will, no matter how long it takes. Just don't cry."

She nodded and rubbed her eyes before standing up and looking down on me.

"I'll give you some alone time and go wash my face."

Then she went to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. I put my hands in my hair, falling back on her bed. I knew what she meant by 'alone-time', but I was definitely no longer in the mood. The only thing I was in the mood for was to find him and make him suffer as much as he made her suffer. I heard the water running in the bathroom, and I knew that despite what she said, she was crying in the bathroom, which actually pained me. She didn't trust me enough to cry in front of me and let me comfort her in my arms. I stood up and gathered her stuffs, putting them on her dresser. She came back in the room, her hair braided on the side. We stared at each other for a while before she said.

"I'd understand if you want to sleep in your room tonight."

"Why would I want that?"

"Because ... Because, I ... and, well ..."

"I don't want to sleep anywhere else than beside you. I'll only go if you ask me too."

She shook her head before going in her bed. I hesitated to do the same, I was still in boxers, and didn't know if that was okay with her. She smiled up to me, removing the cover next to her and patting the place. I gladly joined her and took her in my arms. Her head was on my chest, raising and falling at the rhythm of my breathing. She traced with her fingers the tattoos on my chest sending me to a numb place between reality and dreams and I felt myself slowly drifting into sleep with Clary in my arms.

~.o.O.o.~

**And there was chapter 15 with Jace's point of view. I'm sorry for the cheesiness, but come on they deserved it. And we finally saw Magnus! Told you, slowly but surely, everything sets in place. **

**Hope you liked the chapter, because I liked writing it (usually I like writing Jace better than Clary, but that's just me). **

**You know that of course I don't own anything, so until next chapter, **

**Cheers. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 on the way! For all the Clace lovers, you might actually love this chapter, or not, I don't know yet. **

**As usual, Cassandra Clare is the only owner of the Mortal Instruments franchise. **

**Oh, and I forget to warn you last chapters, but lemons (heavy lemons) are also on their way, hope it didn't chock you last chapter (sorry if it did, promise I'll try to warn you next time!)**

**Enjoy!**

~.o.O.o.~

"Clary, I'll always be here for you."

I smiled at him, knowing that he meant what he was saying. For as long as I've known him (even though is wasn't that long ago we've met), he always had my best interest in mind. He was like a ray of sun in this time of darkness. I tried to stop shiver, but couldn't, I was too scared and too cold. Gently, he put his jacket over my shoulders, and rubbed my arms over it.

"But, what about you?"

"Don't worry, I have a strong constitution."

He smirked, making me blush as always when he did that. The hotel was silent as a tomb when we walked in. It wasn't my first time there (how many time did I come to drag Simon out of here), but I still couldn't help but feel uneasy on being here. He took my hand in his, burning me with his warmth. Slowly we checked the rooms one by one, finding sometimes people dead to the world all over the place or rats crawling on the floor, but there was no trace of Simon. Suddenly my phone rang, making me jump on my feet and my heart miss a beat or two. It was Jordan, and even before picking up, I felt relived. Jordan always saved the day.

"Clary, I found him, just get out of there."

I sighed in relief before turning my face to his blond one and smiling to him, my thumb up. He smiled back before leading me out the room where we were, but instead of leading us to the exit, he buried us further in the hotel.

"Where are you taking us? Simon is not here, let's get out of here, it's too creepy around here."

"I just want to show you something, trust me."

I sighed, but still followed him. We entered a room rather clean, compared to the others, with a desk and chair, tons of case-files all over the place, a large Arabic carpet and a massive bed. It must have been one of the last room of this hotel that still looked like a hotel-room from the 60's. I looked up at him, wondering what he could have wanted in this room. He was grinning before heading to the desk and searching in its drawers. I followed him, unsure of where this was going. I wanted to get out of here, but I couldn't just let him there all alone. That room looked a lot like where they kept all their records, and being there just felt wrong. Even more wrong than being in this fucking hotel to get my best friend out of it. When I finally found what he was looking for, he signed me to come to him. I did, curious to see what he had been so eager to find, but when I arrived at his level, he pulled my loose hair back to kiss me. And it felt wrong, _so wrong_. If I thought what we were doing before was wrong, it was nothing compared to this. His lips felt like ashes against mines, burning me like Hell. This was so not how I imagined my first kiss. Not in a junkies' lair, not with one of my best friends, and not with this sensation of doing something fundamentally wrong. I withdraw myself, unsure of what triggered that impulse in him. Sure everyone thought that we were together, but he knew better.

"Jonathan?"

"You have no idea how much I wanted to do that Clary."

"What? And this is your idea of our first kiss? _In hotel Dumort_!?"

I shivered and removed myself from his arms. _This was so wrong_. Jonathan couldn't possibly want me I was nothing compared to him. He was so perfect and I was so ... not perfect. Where he was tall, I was petite, where he was pale blond (almost white), I was flaming red, where he was sinewy and muscular, I was skinny and frail, where he was flawless, I was freckled. And besides that, I never liked Jonathan this way. Sure I adored him, looked up to him, wanted to be more like him, but he was just like the big brother I never had. Even though everyone around us thought that we were the perfect couple, I never saw us like that. I shook my head, passing my hand on my face and looked at him, expecting him to grin as his usual self, but he was looking at me, a strange light gleaming in his raven black eyes.

"Clary, don't you feel that we are meant to be together! Everyone can see it, why can't you?"

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?"

He walked the few steps that were standing between us, without being able to stop myself, I took a few steps back, bumping into the edge of the bed. I saw his eyes analyzing my whorl and grin grin when I touched the bed.

"What do you think I'm going to do to you, Clary?"

"Nothing, you're not going to do anything. You're not like that."

My voice shivered so much that even I didn't believe in my own lie. I had tears that started to roll on my face, but I did not dare wipe them away, I didn't dare make a single movement. I knew I couldn't outrun him nor beat him up. My only option was to reason him.

"You said that you'd ..."

"That I'd always be here for you. I know. I'll always be with you because you are mine to be. I'll make you feel how we are meant to be."

I was literally terrified, quickly I looked at the door, hoping that I could reach it before him, but when he had followed my gaze, he looked at me with a 'don't-even-think-about-it' kind of look. I stayed still, hoping that he was just telling what he had on his mind and that he was not going to actually _show_ it, but when he came closer, I couldn't help but shriek. He grabbed my hair and brutally pulled my head back. I knew what he was going to do, and shook my head, feeling tears run all over my face. Suddenly, he crushed his lips against mines and I bit him as hard as I could. He backed off a bit and I felt blood in my mouth.

"Don't think for a second that this little bite will stop me!"

And with that statement, he threw me on the bed, laying on top of me. I started screaming for help and kicking him, horrified by what was happening to me. How could he have change from the nice Jonathan that I always knew to this monster. He took my hands in his and hissed in my ear :

"You know that no one will ever help you here Clary. This kind of things happen everyday here, your little screams are just background noise for those junkies. And for you little punches" he viscously chuckled "they're actually very exiting."

I spat in his face, hoping to enrage him so I could escape, but he didn't budge. He let go of my hands to violently grab the hem of my white dress and he placed himself between my legs. I tried to scratch him aiming for his face, but he always managed to avoid my nails. I suddenly heard the zip of his jeans, and I lost it. I jerked my body all over the place trying get away, cursing myself for not being stronger and only being able to cry. I felt his hand ripping my underwear and I became completely numb. He leaned to me, crushing me against the bed, and squeezed his lips against mines. Then he licked my face from mouth to my ear, making me shiver from disgust, and he rested his face next to mine. For a moment, I thought that he would stop there, but suddenly I screamed from unbearable pain. He grumbled into my ears before starting going back and forth. I screamed and begged him to stop, trying my best to push him off of me, but he never listened. He never stopped and never did the pain, every one of his thrust brought a new wave of pain, and suddenly he grabbed my hair, pulling them so hard I though I'd lose them, and he quickened his thrust. And finally it was over. He laid on top of me, panting in my ear while I couldn't stop sobbing. He pulled himself up and devilishly smiled down to me.

"I loved hearing you scream my name, it was exhilarating! Soon you'll enjoy it as much as I did." Then he got up, and I tried to leave this cursed bed, but he grabbed my hand. "You can't possibly think that I'm finished with you! Tu es à moi!" (_You are mine_)

I woke up screaming and when I felt a presence next to me, I jumped out of the bed, screaming some more. I curled up against the closet and tried to hold back my tears in vain. I heard someone getting out of the bed and walking to me before kneeling in front of me.

"Clary? Clary, what's wrong?"

Jace hesitated to put his hands on my shoulders before retraining himself. I was shaking like a leaf in a winter breeze, trying to get a hold on myself. I could see the concern in his eyes and the desperation of not being able to do anything. I put my head on my knees and silently cried for what seemed like forever, while I felt Jace desperately staring at me. How could Jonathan still hurt me so much? How could the only mention of his return bring back those inhibited and painful memories? Once I felt that I couldn't cry anymore, I wiped away the remaining tears and lifted up my head. Jace didn't say anything, he just caressed my cheek with his thumb before taking me in his arms and pecking my forehead. Then he got up and tucked me in. He sat then next to me, watching me and slowly caressing my hair. I knew that it was hard on him what I was imposing him, but I couldn't help but feel happy about him being so nice to me. I slowly drifted back to a dreamless sleep, under Jace's watch.

~.o.O.o.~

When I woke up in the morning, the bed next to me was empty, but how could I hold the grudge against Jace for not staying after all that craziness that he witnessed last night? I looked at the time and cursed at myself: will I ever sleep late during these holidays? 8:27. That wasn't a decent time to wake up when you had nothing to do! But I was awake and aware so I got up, hoping that this day would be better than the last one. I went to the bathroom to do my morning routine (hoping that if I was already ready, Izzy wouldn't try to doll me up today) but when I entered, the bathroom, I heard that Jace was in the shower. I quickly closed back the door, hoping that he didn't notice my intrusion. I violently shook my head, thinking that this day was not starting on a very good note, and when I heard the water flow stop, I ran back in my bed and threw the covers over my head. After a few minutes, I heard the door opening, and I squeezed my eyes close, shrinking on myself.

"You know you could have joined me..."

I didn't say anything, pretending to sleep, but who was I kidding? I heard him walking to the bed and I tried to steady my breathing. God Clary, grow a pair and face him! It's not like he haven't seen you at your worst! I suddenly sat up, removing the covers from my head. He looked at me, slightly amused by what he was seeing. I must look like a crazy person (well, crazier than before) with my hair all over the place.

"Morning beautiful?"

"Uh. Are you referring to me?"

"Well, I don't see nobody else in this room."

"Well, you need glasses then!"

He shook his head and chuckled. He was wearing a plain black T-shirt that followed perfectly the outline of his muscles. His perfect face was surrounded by the golden halo of his wet hair, dripping drops of water every now and then. God, there should be a law against such perfection! I mean, how was I supposed to figure what I felt for him when Adonis was looking at me, desire gleaming in his golden eyes? The way he was looking at me brought back the sensations that he made me feel, the feeling of his hands on me, touching me and making me feel things I've never felt. I leaned closer to kiss him and when our lips touched I felt him smile against my mouth. He cupped my face with his hands, bringing me closer to him and I intertwined my fingers in his hair. I loved touching his hair, it was like touching a smoother version of gold. Slowly my hands reached his chest, playing with his muscles through his shirt. How could I want him so much when I knew that I was scared to death by what would follow? Through my fingers I felt his heart quicken and his breathing becoming irregular. His left hand left my head to stroll down my body. Then he broke our kiss, to suck the skin on my collarbone, making me moan. He had to know what this was doing to me, but apparently, he didn't mine me moaning. His hands fluttered down to the hem of my shirt (well his shirt that I was wearing) and suddenly, he took one of my breast in his hand, laying me against the bed and pulling my shirt up. I bit my lower lip to stop me from moaning again, but his mouth took in one of my breast and started sucking it, I couldn't refrain myself from moaning again. I arched to him, feeling things that only he could bring out of me. Slowly I felt his hand going down my stomach and stop on my panty. I was panting like crazy when he started fondling me through the fabric, making me gasp. I felt a wave of ... I don't know what it was, but it felt so great, and without no warning he started kissing his way down there. Slowly, he removed my underwear, making me all too aware of the fact that it wasn't something sexy and lacy (I should have followed Izzy in her Victoria Secrets mania, but still I secretly thanked her for insisting on removing all the hair of my body). Deliberately, he slowly kissed me there, playing with my nerves, and when his tongue finally found its way down in me I screamed and arched as much as I could. He started suck my clitoris and I grabbed the pillow next to me and put it over my head to muffle the sounds that were coming out of my mouth. His hands were passionately going up and down my legs before his left hand stopped its round trip to have its fingers slowly slipping in inside of me. I practically sat up, for what I was feeling was so good. New, but good. Then his fingers started caressing my inside walls, feeling how wet I was, while his tongue was still playing with my clit. I started breathing convulsively, my hand clenched in the sheets and when his fingers started to speed up, I screamed his name. God this was so good, so marvelous. What I was feeling was so ... so something. I could feel myself becoming frantic, arching myself again and again, longing for more, for something unknown when ... Izzy barged in.

"Clary, wake up, we ... Oh I didn't need to see that!"

"Izzy! Get the Hell out of here! And learn to knock for fuck's sake!"

I could feel Jace's murderous vibes while I was hiding my face in my hands. She closed the door, but not without saying that I'd better be in her room in less than 20 minutes. I heard him getting up, but I still didn't dare move one bit. Now that the embarrassment of being walked in by Izzy was gone, I felt overwhelmed by the embarrassment of what had happen. I had made sounds that even I wasn't aware that I could do!

"I'm going to kill her one of this days!"

I nodded, agreeing to the fact that too often she had killed the mood between us. I felt him next to me and closed my hands closer on my face. I heard him chuckle before I felt his lips on mine. Without a warning, my body took control over me, grabbing him with both my hands and sitting up to be at his level. I felt the taste of myself on him, which surprised me bit, but didn't stop me to enter his mouth. My hands were in his hair, bringing him closer to me, and I could feel that I was ready to keep on doing whatever we were doing. Without knowing what I was doing, I started to unbutton his trousers, and when my hand touched his bulge, he _moaned_. God, _I_ made him moan! He suddenly stopped my hand and broke our kiss.

"You should really go, she won't hesitate to rip you away from me."

I wined, but as if to prove his point, Izzy banged at the door shouting that I should be in her room. I sighed and let myself fall back in the bed. Now that I was thinking about it, a party wouldn't have been so bad!

"That's so unfair! If only I were a boy she would have let me alone!"

"If you were a boy, we wouldn't have done what we just did."

"No, I would have been with Alec having another kind of fun! Getting lost in his marvelous blue eyes and his strong arms!"

He glared at me and I swore that I saw a glimpse a jealousy. I chuckled and pecked his lips before leaving the bed and putting my panty back on. Now he was staring at me, pure lust in his eyes. I looked down at him and saw that his bulge was still there. I walked to him, trying to be seductive and I passionately kissed him. Then I ran out the door to find Izzy waiting for me on the other side.

"Finally! It's not like you hadn't had all night to do that!"

"We ... It's not what you think!"

"Sure."

At her tone, I could tell that she didn't believe me, but how could I blame her, after what she had walked in. She threw me in the bathroom and said something about me having to rub Jace off of me! I shook my head and humped in shower to quickly wash myself. I was in a hurry to be over with it, because, first being Izzy's living doll was part of my dream job, and second because I was starving. Once cleaned, I put on what she had prepared for me : a long green pullover-dress with white dots and black buttons. With that she had arranged black tights and long brown Native-like boots. When I left the door, she was standing by her dresser, her straightener in her hand. I did my best not to wince and sat there.

"You know Izzy, it's pretty hot in here. This outfit will kill me."

"But I wanted us to go shopping." I internally blessed Luke for grounding me in the Institute.

"I can't go out. I promised Luke to stay in."

"Luke?"

"A family friend. He made me promise, I can't just break my promise for shopping."

She pouted a bit, straightening my hair like a pro. I felt bad for her, I promised I'd try to be her friend, and I couldn't stop blowing her up. I tried to get the conversation on something more girly.

"So how was your date yesterday?"

"I don't know, it was weird. I thought that Simon was ... less ... more communicative. We exchanged four words or so!"

"Simon as in _Simon_?!"

Ooooo, he was playing a dangerous game. When he called me yesterday about Jonathan, he never mentioned anything about Izzy or having a date with her. On the contrary, he talked about that Maia girl that he met at Pandemonium.

"Yes, I thought he told you yesterday."

"No, he didn't!"

I knew that as friends I should tell her, but my allegiance was going first to Simon. Plus, he was the one who put himself in this mess, I didn't have to take him out of it. He was going to have to take care of this on this own, like a big boy.

"Anyway, I hope that next time it'll be more talkative. Because kissing is great, but it can't be all there is, can it?"

I nodded and she deviously smiled at me.

"So Jace and you finally did it. I was starting to worry for my brother, it's not healthy for him to hold back so much!"

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but nothing will ever happen if you keep interrupting us!"

She made a sorry face before making me up and putting a beret on my head.

"Not because you can't go out that you can't be stylish!"

I shrugged, looking to what she had done to my face in the mirror, afraid not to recognize myself. But once again she had a very light hand only bringing the attention to my eyes, making them seem greener than they already were. I thanked her, truly amazed by what pushed had done.

~.o.O.o.~

Once back in my room, I checked my phone, hoping to see that Luke had good news to give me, but I only had a text from Simon. "**On the parking lot. Need to talk**." I sighed hearing my stomach grumble but still went to see him. Never I had let down Simon, today was no different. When I arrived on the parking lot, I saw him leaning against my Harley. God, he should know better!

"Simon get your ass off of my bike!"

He removed himself and once I was next to him, I checked that she was alright.

"This obsession over your bike is not healthy you know."

"What's not healthy is you endangering your life by doing things that you know you shouldn't do! Like leaning against my bike or two-timing two girls!"

He looked taken aback, but not the slightly but ashamed.

"It's not what you think, it's just that ... It's complicated."

"I won't save you when they'll ask for your head."

"I won't ask you to do that. It's not what I came for anyway."

I rolled my eyes. Could really worry for nothing.

"We already talked about this. He's back, good for him. I'm here and I can't get out, so ..."

"Still no word from your Mom?"

"No, otherwise I wouldn't be here, would I?"

He nodded dancing from one foot to another. I knew Simon all too well to know that something was in his mind.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just that Jordan was really concerned about you. I know he was the one who helped you and all back then, and now that he's back, you don't seem so ... affected by it. So I'm wondering who helped you move on?"

"There'll be no moving on from what happened! Just letting go of the past."

He frowned, but knew that I wouldn't talk anymore than I did. I couldn't answer him, because I wasn't really sure that I was ready for this step of acceptance. I invited him over for breakfast, assuring him that Izzy would love that, but he refused, saying that he'd rather be damned than entered the Institute. I rolled my eyes and waved him goodbye, heading back to the Institute. I was glad Izzy made me wear this kind of dress, for I wasn't feeling the cold breeze at all.

~.o.O.o.~

Jace was waiting for me in the kitchen, saying that everyone was out for breakfast and that we should do the same. I frowned, everyone was determined to make me break my promise.

"I can't leave the Institute."

"Who talked about leaving?"

With that he took my hand and lead me to the rooftop, where he had prepared a breakfast picnic. I smiled at him while sitting next to him.

"I never thought you were this kind of guy."

"What kind of guy? I didn't do anything, it must have been faeries or pixies."

I laughed and bit deviously in a green apple, enjoying the feeling of food in my mouth. He looked at me before wiping the apple juice trickling down in the corner my mouth.

"So why are you grounded ?"

"Oh, just a promise I made to Luke." He suspiciously looked at me, and in the second we both knew that I wasn't saying everything, and that I wouldn't say more. I saw a glimpse of sadness in his eyes, making me feel guilty. I really needed to work on my social skills.

~.o.O.o.~

**Here was chapter 16 with a glimpse of Clary's past (bouhou Jonathan) and a tiny hint of Sizzy. Hope you liked it, I tried not keep stuff too cheesy (especially when you know that next chapter will be soooooo cheesy). **

**I did my best to finish this chapter as quickly as possible as I won't be able to upload for at least 24-48 hours (sorry) **

**Anyway, I might put another Jocelyn point of view but I'm not sure about it... Should I, should I not? **

**The credits all go to Cassandra Clare **

**Cheers**


	17. Chapter 17

**Tadaaaaam, chapter 17 is coming! It'll be Jace's point of view, and lemons decided to get their way in the chapter. But worst than the lemons, cheesiness will be all over the chapter (yeah, I'm not really into cheesiness as you might have guessed). **

**For those who still don't know, (who am I kidding, everyone knows that!) I don't own any of those characters, they all are products of Cassandra Clare's imagination. **

**Enjoy.**

~.o.O.o.~

During the week that followed Robert and Maryse's departure, I grew closer to Clary, giving me sometimes the impression to be a stalker. Everywhere she was, I felt the need to be there too, with her, next to her, by her side, wether she was drawing, cooking or simply doing her homework. She was always in a part of my mind whatever the thing I could be doing, I had Clary somewhere in my mind, knowing where she was and what she was doing. I tried to reassure myself saying that it was because Robert had asked me to watch over her. The fact that we both were consigned to stay in the Institute had its perks and its downs. Sure we had more time to ourselves, learning more every time about each other, but we also couldn't do all the things normal couples do. I was so jealous of Alec for being able to do things as simple as going to movies, restaurants, or just walk in the park hand in hand with Magnus. I had to keep Clary in the shadows of the Institute, as if she was something I was ashamed of. But never she said a word about it. It was as if she didn't mind, of didn't care. That was something that was driving me mad : sometimes I could easily read her, but most of the time, she was an indescribable book. I barely knew what she thought, or what she felt. She always was a mystery, as much as her past. She never talked about her, wether it was her childhood, or her life as a teenager before coming to the Institute, she never broach the subject. I knew how difficult it was to talk about a dark period of your life, so I never tried to push, even though I was getting more and more curious. Even more when Luke started to show up every now and then, checking up on her and locking them in her room for indefinite times. He would sometimes talk to me, more than I expected giving the fact that I didn't know him, which made me feel a little awkward even though I tried not to show it. Never an adult, besides the Lightwoods, had shown an interest in me just because I was there. It all became more awkward when he found us on the couch, making out. Never had I seen Clary so embarrassed (and that's saying something giving the fact that Izzy had walked on us in situations more awkward and less dressed). The way he had looked at me made me feel like I was judge for all that I'd done in my life, good or bad. In this instant, I knew what she meant when she said that he was the father she never had. He had looked at me warily, trying to decide if I was good enough for her. I never knew what he thought of it though, and Clary never said anything about it.

We kept on sleeping together in her bed, even though it was the only thing we did. I never tried to push her, unable to forget the terror I had seen in her eyes the night of her nightmare. I couldn't bring myself to talk to her about it, knowing that she was doing her best to keep it buried, but I still wanted to rip his head off. The problem was I didn't know what he looked like, or even what was his name. This was pissing me off beyond the bearable. How could I be with her if I couldn't even protect her from her past? I tried to get more informations from Izzy, knowing that they spent so much time together, surely Clary must have mentioned something to her. From a girl to another. So when Clary said that she needed to draw the city, I went to Izzy's room to confront her on the subject, and I found Alec already siting on her bed.

"No she never talks about her ex with me. I didn't even know she had one."

"But you're her friend! Surely she must have at least mentioned his name to you!"

The reason why I felt I didn't spent as much time as I could with Clary was Izzy. She always stole her from me to do who-knows-what. That added to the fact that Clary turned out to be a really studious person, alway saying she had tons of homework, our time together was really limited.

"No she didn't. You know Clary, she never talk unless you ask her real direct questions, and then again, she manages to elude them."

"Like when you ask her about her being here. Did she ever give a concrete answer?"

Alec butted in in the conversation, making the whole thing more awkward. Come on, I just wanted a name, then I would bitch-slap this asshole to his death, but that, they didn't need to know. But still, what Alec was saying brought to the surface more questions that I had tried to not ask myself. I did my best to defend her, giving the explanation that she gave me, but I knew that explanation alone didn't fit. When she had given it to me, I knew that she had been keeping something from me.

"She promised to Luke."

"But this isn't sufficient! Who promises things like that? And why Luke, why not her mother?"

"I don't know!"

This wasn't good. Alec was asking me the same questions I had been asking myself the whole past week, and that I still hadn't figured out. Clary still remained an unveiled mystery. Izzy changed the subject, going back to what I was first asking for.

"All I can tell you is that there is a Jonathan somewhere in the picture, and that Simon is freaking out at the idea that she might go after him for some kind of vendetta. Apparently she's unpredictable enough to do it."

"Vendetta?"

"I know nothing more. Simon didn't really say anything, I just put the pieces together."

So her ex's name was Jonathan. And she would be crazy enough to go all on her own kick his ass. That did seem good at all. Sure I knew she could kick ass when she wanted, but that didn't actually mean that she would once she would have to face him. Suddenly something took my attention off of Clary.

"Wait a minute. Since when you and Simon hang out?!"

"On, we've been out on a few dates now."

"What!?" Alec and I looked at her, not really sure of what we just heard. First, Simon was (in addition on being out go her league) definitely not Izzy's type. Second, Izzy never went on 'dates', she never wanted to get involved with anyone, always saying that men were all scums. Third, there was no way in Hell, my sister was going out with a junky!

"Izzy, he's bad news!"

"So are you, and as far as I know, Clary never judged you for your past, and trust me, she knows where you come from!"

"What do you me... That's beside the point! He's a junky!"

"That's precisely the point! Everyone deserves a second chance! I'm not judging Simon for his past, as Clary is not judging you from yours, so butt off! And for your information, Simon's been clean for a whole week."

I heaved, but gave up for she was glaring at me with a death stare. The world had gone mad! How could my sister defend this lowlife junky with a rat face?

"If Dad finds out that you're dating an ex-junky, he's going to have an attack."

"It's not like I'm pregnant, it's just a boy among others! He'll get over it!"

I slightly felt relieved when I understood that it wasn't a real thing for her, and seeing how Alec reacted, he was relieved too. We were clearly both reassured by her tone.

"By the way, what do you mean Clary knows about my past? What did you tell her?"

"Nothing. It's just that she's not stupid. She knows you _were_ a manwhore and that you wouldn't hesitate to crush people to obtain what you thought was justice. She also knows that you're an arrogant jerk and that she can't get too attach to you."

"Did she tell you that?!"

"No, Clary doesn't say things like that, but it's obvious. The way she acts around you, it's like she's doing her best to keep her emotions to herself, because she knows that in the end, you'll hurt her."

"That's not it Izzy."

Alec had spoken really softly, almost whispering. I looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate, but he just stared at his hands. When he couldn't avoid it anymore, he looked up to me and I knew he knew something. He got up from Izzy's bed and went to his own room through the bathroom, asking me to follow him. I did, curious of what he had to tell me, and trying to be oblivious of Izzy's murderous gaze (she always hated being put aside)

"You know that Magnus is a hacker, right?"

I nodded wondering how this had anything to do with Clary. The fact that Magnus was hacking for the government came to light two nights ago, taking us all aback. How could a 19 years old could already be a government agent?

"Well, Magnus actually knows Clary."

"What do you mean, she didn't seem to know him."

"She doesn't. It's just that a few months ago, Luke came to Magnus. He was enraged and asked him to track someone. Someone he didn't know what he looked like, how old he was, what was his name. Nothing. He just knew that he was in hotel Dumort at a certain date. Magnus tried to track him down, and when he couldn't, he went on the field for it bothered him so much to fail. There he heard ... rumors ... "

"What kind of rumors?" He hesitantly looked at me, and I didn't like the way his eyebrow were frowning, or his eyes were studying me.

"Something about a redheaded girl that didn't belong there but often came there to help a friend of hers. Something about her getting raped by 'someone'. Someone who disappeared the next day without a trace."

I leaned against the wall and let myself fall on the floor, my head in my hands. Suspecting the thing was something, but knowing for a fact that it actually had been real for her was another. I felt an anger boiling in me that I didn't knew I could have.

"Who is he?"

"No one knows. Magnus calls him 'the Ghost' for he is untraceable. He looked everywhere and didn't find a single thing about him. Nothing. Not a face, not a name, not an age. Nothing."

"How long have you known?"

"Since Halloween."

"And you're telling me just now! Geez Alec, I thought I was your brother! What kept you from telling me!? It's not like it's something I can just overlook and pretend that never happen!"

"I only kept Clary's wishes."

"She told you!?"

"Of course not. She didn't even told you or Izzy, so why would she tell me, when we don't talk so much. It's just that it should have been her choice to tell you."

Alec's gay sensitive side was starting to piss me off.

"Anyway, you already knew, you just didn't want to admit it."

For that he was right. I had known since the first time she had shrieked at my presence and me staring at her, but I didn't dare even formulate the thought of it in my mind. It was too ignoble to be true. I got up, feeling completely beat down, when Alec stopped me.

"Jace, don't do anything stupid."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Like confronting her on things she doesn't want to talk about or going after ghosts."

I shook my head and went to the rooftop where I knew I'd find her.

~.o.O.o.~

Once on the rooftop, I saw her sitting on the edge of the balustrade, her legs hanging on each side of the side-rail and her sketchpad on her knees. She was drawing the city, her hair floating in the air and her face ever so concentrated on what she was doing. I stood still, just to have the pleasure to look at her, and the sight of her overwhelmed me with a peaceful feeling. That's when it hit me. Sure I didn't know a lot of things about her, sure she had a dark past full of ghosts, sure I barely knew what she felt about me, but man, I loved her. I loved her more than I ever loved someone. I loved her so much I didn't know how I even lived before her. _I fucking loved her. _She suddenly closed her sketchpad, mumbling something about the light, and got off the edge. When she turned and saw me, she smiled as if she was truly happy to see me. Her whole face lightened up, sparkling her green eyes. Man, how I loved seeing her smile like that! It was like all her troubles were gone just by seeing me.

"Back on being a creepy stalker I see."

She laughed before pecking my lips, which actually sent me on fire. I kissed her back, making her gasp of surprise. For the past week, I always tried to keep every kiss or embrace we had chaste, and she had be the one who always tried to get things wilder. But now, I was passionately kissing her, cupping her face in my hands, and bringing her closer to me. When she wrapped her hands around me (dropping her sketchpad on the floor), I lifted her up and she folded her legs around my waist. She kissed me as ardently as I kissed her. I started walking back, and when I bumped into the door, I turned and tackled her against it. My hands fierily caressed her bare tights for she was wearing shorts and I kissed my way to her collarbone, knowing that when I'd start to suck her soft skin there, she would send me to the edge by her simple moaning. And she did. I tried to steady myself, and let her stand on her feet, my eyes closed. Suddenly, I felt her hand unbuttoning my jeans, and I took her hand to stop her.

"Not here." She looked at me shocked and insulted. "I want to Clary, you have no idea how much I do, but not here. Let's go down stairs."

With that I took her in my arms, bridal style and she put her hand on her mouth before bursting in laughter.

"You don't have to be so cliché! I'm not a princess."

"No you're not. You're way more awesome than a stupid princess."

She chuckled and wrapped her hands around my neck to kiss me. I don't know how I manage to get us to my room, but suddenly, she was on my bed, her legs circling me. She smiled to me, biting her lower lip and turning me on like I never I thought she could. My hand started flickering under her pullover when she suddenly flipped us around, finding herself on top of me. She took of her pullover and smiled down to me before leaning to whisper in my ear:

"God Jace, I want you! I want you so much!"

If only she knew what she was doing to me just by saying that. I grew even harder than I already was, swiftly bringing her closer to me to kiss her. My hands were in her hair while hers were flying all over my chest before pulling the hem of my shirt and taking it off of me. Then she kissed my jaw, my neck, my chest, her lips lingering every time a little longer when she was kissing one of my tattoos. I had my eyes closed and was having very long breathes to steady myself, but when she started kissing her way down my stomach, her hands unbuttoning my trousers, I took back control of the situation. I turned her, making her gasp, and removed her shirt in the process. I looked down to her in her lacy black bra and shorts. I don't know how I still managed to control myself like I was. She smiled to me, and I smiled back to her, feeling things I never thought I would feel with a girl in my bed. Slowly, I kissed her stomach, going a little bit lower with every kiss, and when I was on her shorts, I unbuttoned them with my teeth, making her suck in a breathe. Once her shorts were out of the way, I leisurely got rid of her underwear, matching her bra, and slowly slit my fingers in her, feeling her wetness. I looked at her while I was fondling her, seeing how much she was enjoying it. When my thumb touched her clit, she gasped and opened her eyes in surprise, and I felt my fingers getting wetter. I kissed her, and she crushed my face to hers, deepening the kiss, and when my other hand unclasped her bra, she arched herself to me, releasing a moan that forced me to stop for a second in order to control myself. She let go of my hair to undo my trousers. When her hand got a grip on my erection, I couldn't help but moan myself. I felt her smile through our kiss before she started wanking me, her hand going through all my length. I pulled myself from her and looked at her in the eyes. Man, she was so beautiful!

"Clary, are you sure?" She nodded, before adding, her voice heavy with lust:

"I want to feel you! I want to feel you right now Jace!"

I bit my lips to avoid a moan to escape them and looked for a condom in the nightstand. Once I got the hold on one, I went back to kiss her, more passionately than ever, and slowly, I kissed my way down to her clit. When my lips were finally on her sweet spot, I started sucking it, feeling her get wetter. She moaned before softly murmuring my name and I quickly put on the condom, still making her shiver with my tongue. Suddenly, she grabbed my hair, and I knew she needed more. I lifted myself and she opened her legs for me to come in her. Slowly I entered her, making her arched and moan, and when I was completely in, I started going back and forth. She planted her nails in my back, scratching it and asking for more, which only made me harden my thrust. She gasped for air when I started going down in her harder and she locked her legs around my chest. I kissed her and slowly went to her collarbone, sucking her skin and making her scream my name. How I loved hearing her saying my name like that! That was something no one else should hear but me. I felt her walls tighten around me, bringing me ever closer to paroxysm. I tried to slow myself, knowing that I would finish soon otherwise, but she begged me to go on. I hardened and quickened my thrust then, bringing us both to a perfect bliss, with her fingers planted in my back and my head hidden in the hollow of her neck. Our panted breathing were just one, and after a moment of resting on her, I rolled on the side, not wanting to be too heavy on her. She seemed a bit disappointed for a moment, but snuggled in my arms when I opened them to her. I smiled at this image : Clary in my arms, just after sex. 'God I love you Clary!' She snapped her head up to look at me, incomprehension gleaming in her bright eyes. Shit, did I just said that out loud? She didn't say anything, and I kissed her forehead unsure of what to do else. I never had been in this kind of position, me in the bed with the girl I loved. She smiled and dozed off a bit on my chest, not saying anything on what I said (or did I?). I stayed a moment like that, staring at the ceiling, but doing nothing except enjoying this moment and the feeling of glee that it was procuring me.

I eventually got up to use the bathroom (and also get rid of the condom). When I came back, she was up, next to my desk with my shirt on her, holding a picture frame in her hands. She was looking at it with a curious look on her face. I took her in my arms and looked at the picture with her, my shin on her shoulder. It was the only picture I had of my father and Valentine. They were dressed in jeans and shirts, sitting on the grass and they had dreams in their eyes.

"That's my father and my Godfather." She pointed Valentine, her voice suddenly blank.

"That's your Godfather?"

"Yes, that's Valentine."

She didn't say anything, keeping all her emotions inside of her and after staring at the picture a little longer, she put the picture back on the desk. I hugged her tighter and kissed her neck, but she didn't react to it.

"You okay?"

"Yes, I just need a shower."

I let go of her and she went to the bathroom without looking back at me once. I sat on the bed, wondering what I have done wrong and hoping that she didn't feel threatened by my declaration. When I heard the water flow, I just tried to ease this feeling that I had of something being awfully wrong.

~.o.O.o.~

**Tadadadam! They finally had sex, and it had to be just after that Clary saw the picture of Valentine! What is going on in her mind? I hope you liked this chapter. Anyway, mohahahahahah I can't wait for Valentine to really show up! And Jonathan too! But grrrr so long to wait. **

**I wanted to tell you that my updating might get less daily because my flat is in major renovations, and that I don't have time to always write right now, but don't worry, I'll try to keep it at least twice (or double that) a week. **

**Anyway, no credits for me, you all know that**

**Cheers**


	18. Chapter 18

**Haaaaa, chapter 18, with Clary's point of view and the major question, how will she react? IMPORTANT, WE JUST TAKE A FEW STEP BACK AND GO BACK TO WHEN JACE WENT TO THE BATHROOM. **

**Anyway, you know the drift, everything goes to Cassandra Clare, as usual. **

**Enjoy**

~.o.O.o.~

Oh my God! What was that? Best feeling ever. That paroxysm to which he brought me was unutterable. I still couldn't believe that my body could feel so many diverse things. And then he said the L word. As a murmur, almost as if he hadn't planed to say it out loud, but to the tone of his voice, I knew that he really meant it. And the problem was that I wanted to say it back. I really wanted to say it, but I didn't dare. I got up and threw on his shirt, too happy to have his smell lingering on me. He smelled like sunshine. Who smells like _sunshine_? Angels, no one besides Angels smells like sunshine. I put my panty back on and looked at his room. It was the exact opposite of what I expected of a boy's room. It was neat. You couldn't see a single speck of dust, everything was at its right place, the walls blank and white. It was almost like being in an hospital room. The only touch of personalization was a picture and a signet ring on his wooden desk. I walked to it to take it, but once it was in my hand, my heart stopped. It was Jonathan and him! Laughing together on the grass. I looked closer and realized it couldn't be them. They looked a bit older, in their mid 20s', and there were slight differences. Like Jace's eyes and the one who looked like him were not the same color, and Jace was slightly more muscular, and his hair slightly curled compared to the straight ones of the man in the picture. But Jonathan's look-alike ... It was terrifying to see how much they _looked-alike_. Same height, same pale-blond hair, same perfect features, same stature, same way to smile. The only difference was the eyes. Jonathan's were deep black, you could barely see their irises, and they were circled by a ring of silver, but this man's eyes were deep brown. There were no mystery on who that man was, he was Jonathan's father. My hand started shaking when the reality hit me : Jace knew Jonathan's father, which meant that ultimately, he knew Jonathan. Suddenly, he was behind me, hugging me tight against him. I could feel him warmth enveloping me while I was getting colder and colder.

"That's my father and my Godfather."

His _Godfather_? This man had raised Jace? This man had raised the caring and sweet Jace that I knew, and the monster that was Jonathan?!

"That's your Godfather?"

"Yes, that's Valentine."

God, what have done? It was screaming all over the place! How many times did I thought to myself that Jace reminded me of Jonathan? His sarcastic remarks, his grins, his abilities to do things normal people don't such has speak several foreign languages and pick a lock. What did he say about his Godfather? When I came to think of it, it was almost word for word was Jonathan had told me about his father. I felt so stupid for being here, in the arms of this monster's spiritual brother. I felt sick and on the verge to throw up. He asked me if I was okay, but I couldn't even look at him, I was too afraid to see his real face, the Jonathan that was behind his Jace's face. Once in the bathroom, I locked the door behind me and turned on the shower before hurling all my guts in the toilets. I wanted to cry my life out of me, but I decided that I didn't have time to do so. I quickly rinsed my mouth and flushed the toilet, and, leaving the water run, I rushed in my room, threw on a pair of jeans, put my boots on, grabbed my messenger bad, my jacket and my helmet and ran the Hell away from him.

On the parking lot, I ran into Alec who looked at me suspiciously. I plastered a fake smile and a happy expression on my face when I walked to me.

"Didn't you say that you were supposed to stay _in_ the Institute?"

"Oh, I'm just going to the auto shop. I want to check a few things on my bike."

"Okay." Then he looked at me intensively. "Are you _okay_?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

He nodded and walked his way to the Institute. I quickly humped on my bike and darted the Hell away from this place. I wanted to see my Mom like never before. She was the person I needed the most at this instant. But I didn't knew where she was, no one knew. After riding for what seemed forever, I stopped and thought about where I could go. I couldn't possibly go home, there were too many people looking for me, and it would be the first place they would go to. I couldn't go to Luke for he would be enraged for me breaking my promise. I couldn't go to Simon because he could rat out on me to Luke, the little snitch. Suddenly, I remembered something about Magnus' incredible abilities, and prayed that he would help me. I started up my bike and went where the Halloween party had been. God, it seemed like forever ago! Once I arrived in front of his mansion, I wondered how he could afford such a place, knowing that he lived on his own. I rang like a mad man until he finally opened the door. When he realized who I was, he leaned against the door and he tiredly passed his hand over his glittery face. He was wearing really skinny jeans and a sparkly shirt.

"Why do I have the impression of déjà vu?"

"What?"

"Never mind, come on in."

I followed him inside, realizing how empty his place was without the crowd of the party. He brought me to his kitchen and served us two black coffee, his mug covered of glittery stickers. Then, he left me for a couple of minutes, and when he came back, he sat in front of me and looked at me, studying my face as if it was missing a piece. I rubbed my cheeks, knowing that I had cried on my way there.

"So, to what do I own the pleasure?"

"Can you help me find my Mom?" He sighed heavily before looking away.

"I can't. She disappeared as in disappeared. It's like she never even existed. Not even as your Mom. Don't you think that Luke already came to me for this?"

"You know Luke?"

"More than you could ever imagine." I raised my eyebrows and shrugged, which made him laugh.

"Not like that, it's just that we actually worked a few time together in the past... Like the day your mother came for example."

"My Mom came to you?" Well, that explained his impression of déjà vu.

"Yeah, a couple of weeks ago, just before you entered the Institute or even heard about if. She came here, in tears and asked me to erase both of you and to procure you fake IDs and passports."

"What?!"

"But that's when Luke barged in, telling her that it wasn't smooth, and that the best way to keep you safe was to lock you in the Institute. She agreed to it, but still asked for the fake papers. I have them if you want..."

He slide to me a craft envelop that I took without being really aware of what I was doing. My Mom had wanted to uproot us. My Mom, who never wanted to do as much as to subscribe to a subway monthly ticket, had wanted us to leave the country. What could have scare her of like that? Two weeks ago, it was when she told me about my father, just telling me that he was alive and bad news. Could it be that my father was as bad as she said he was? So scary that she would leave it all behind to escape him? I brought my knees to my chest, unsure of what I would from now on. Maybe if no one could find her it was because she had left on her own, judging that I was safe and sound at the Institute. Suddenly, I heard a door slamming, and Alec's voice.

"Magnus we need your help to find ... Clary! What're you doing here?"

"Told you she would come and see me to find her Mom."

Alec looked briefly at Magnus before going back to me. I stood up, and avoiding his gaze, I thanked Magnus for the coffee and the informations and tried to leave when Alec put his hand on my shoulders.

"Clary what happened?"

"Nothing, like Magnus said, I wanted to know if he could help looking for my Mom... By the way, you didn't talk about it to anyone."

"No. But what happened? Every one is looking for you back there, Luke is freaking out!"

"He's going to kill me! I better head back."

He hesitated for a moment, looking at Magnus before walking with me.

"I'll go with you."

"And how will you do that? I'm on bike and I have only one helmet. No helmet, no passenger! And actually, I'm not even sure that I could drive us, me being so small and all."

"I'll drive behind you."

I nodded, knowing that there was no way in Hell I was going back to the Institute. I humped on my back, and pretended to wait for him. Once we were on the road, I lost him in the traffic and rushed at my place.

~.o.O.o.~

I still didn't know what I would do once I would leave home, but I knew that I couldn't go back to the Institute. Discovering Jace's true nature made me feel nauseous and empty. I felt like I gave another part of my heart to another monster. A monster even more vicious, for he made me believe in myself again. I had always wondered how he could have known about what Jonathan had done to me. Now I knew that he must have had the details first hand, making him even more demoniac. He had known all about my past and made me trust in him, made me believe that he was good, sweet and nice. Bullshit! How could I have been so stupid? How could I have opened my heart like that to him for him to easily and cruelly stab it? I quickly put clothes in a bag, and went to our secret hideout for emergencies to take all of the money in it. Afterwards I opened the envelop that Magnus gave me earlier. There were two passports and two IDs saying that we were Irish and that our names were Lynn and Clare Fair. I shivered on what my Mom had done, realizing how little I knew of her past life. She never talked about it, and I never asked. Silly me! I never even asked her about her parents, she just told me once that they were dead, and that was it. And now she was missing and I didn't have a clue why? If it was her hiding or if she had been abducted. I shook my head and got ready to leave when my eyes laid on a picture of my Mom. She was obviously pregnant with me, leaning against a tree and holding her tummy like all moms-to-be do, a blazing smile on her face. I took it with me and left, not looking back once. I went to Central Park, still not knowing where I would go. I could have called Jordan for him to help me, but I had left my phone at the Institute. I looked up to the sky, the sun quietly setting at the horizon and got a sudden epiphany. It had nothing to do with my Mom, it was just an urge that I needed to fulfill. That I desperately needed to fulfill. I humped to my bike and drove to the shop, hoping that he wouldn't give me a hard time for being without ... Jace. When I entered the shop, there was no one besides Hodge. I found him odd starting by the fact that just by seeing him in the street, I would never had pictured him as a tattooist. He was wearing a neat, grey tweed suit. You could see a few lines of tattoos on his neck and wrists, but that was it. He had this long thick scar on the right side of his face, but it didn't make him scary. On the contrary, it made him look like a sweet old grandpa that had lived though many things. When he recognized me, his eyes opened wide in surprise.

"What do you want sweetheart?"

"A tattoo."

"Again? You got infected by the tattoo addiction?"

"You could say that."

He nodded and made me sit on the chair. I drew on a paper what I wanted. A sort of eye with one line going through the inner corner and another crossing its way. I had drawn this symbol the day that followed my nightmare about Jonathan, putting all my fear of him aside. Fearless, once I had drawn it, I felt fearless. Hodge came back from the back shop and asked me where I wanted my tattoo. I pointed the bone behind my right ear and let him do his job.

~.o.O.o.~

"I always knew that you would get tattooed one day or another."

I had just left the shop and was about to hump back on my bike to find a motel, when I recognized this awfully familiar voice. I turned, putting my keys in my hand so that the pointy ends would stick out of my hand. He was standing five feet away from me, still the same. Only his hair had grown a few inches since I last saw him.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Language Clary. Fuck is not a pretty word for your mouth!"

"What the _fuck_ do you want?"

"Talk."

Was he kidding me? Last time he 'talked' to me I ended up on a bed, with him on top of me. But still, I couldn't help but noticed that he seemed different, no longer animated by this mad fire I had seen in his eyes last time I saw him.

"I don't want to talk with you! I don't want to even see you or breathe in the same area as you!"

"I understand, and I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry fir what I have done, and you might never forgive me for that, but we actually _have_ to talk."

"Fuck you ..."

"Clary, this word is not for you. And I am really sorry. I shouldn't have done that, and leave you there. That wasn't me. I changed. I go by Christopher now."

"I don't care. Jonathan or Christopher, you're still the same person who ..."

I couldn't say it out loud. I still couldn't say it out loud. Just thinking about it made me want to cry, but I swore to myself that I would never cry again in front of him.

"... Who raped you. I know. Like I said I'm not looking for absolution."

I didn't say anything, trying to hold back my tears. I was angry for not being to shut him up or just kick his ass, but I was also scared of the game he was playing. Pretending to redeem himself in order to stab me in the back.

"How did you ... get back home."

I ignored him. There was no way in Hell I would talk to him anymore. And I would certainly not tell him how I managed to survive after what he had done to me. I didn't want him to know anything about my life after him. He didn't have to know that it was Jordan who came looking for me seeing that I wasn't home nit answering my phone, and that he found me curled up on myself, crying the life out of me. He had looked at me for at least 10 minutes, not sure of what to do before he knelt to my level and told me he was about to take me in his arms to bring me to Simon's : he didn't want my Mom to see me like that. I shook my head to get rid of these memories and looked back at Jonathan/Christopher, whatever his name was at the moment.

"You wanted to apologize, I heard you. Now leave me alone and go, I have better things to do."

"I know."

"What do you mean 'you know'?

"Maybe you should come with me."

"Like Hell I'll follow you somewhere!"

"Language Clary. You'll have to follow me. I know where is your Mom."

~.o.O.o.~

**Chapter 18 is over, a bit shorter than the last one, but that's just a set back don't worry. **

**Hope you liked it (promise Clary's next will be better!) **

**Anyway, everything is a Cassandra Clare property, as usual**

**Cheers**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 with Jace's and Clary's point of view. Promise it will be better and longer than the last one. I have to mix both of them, you'll see why. **

**All credits go to Cassandra Clare. **

**Enjoy. **

~.o.O.o.~. **Jace's point of view**

I was waiting for Clary on my bed trying to understand why I felt so uneasy. She had run off to the bathroom as soon as she could, and I was scared that I pushed her into it too quickly. Maybe she hadn't be as ready as I thought. Or maybe I really said out loud that I loved her and that scared her. I waited, and when minutes turned to more than half an hour, I went to knock at the door. The water was still flowing, but she didn't answer when I called her name. I tried to open the door, but she had locked it, and this simple fact made my guts freeze. Something was wrong. I was on my way to my door, in order to go and see her through the corridor door when someone knocked at the door. I opened it to find Izzy (look who had finally learned to knock).

"Guys, you better dress up in two seconds, Luke is here, and I don't thing you guys want him to find you in an abnormal position."

"Clary is in the shower, so nothing abnormal here."

She looked down at me and I smirked at her, very well aware that my statement was completely decayed due to the fact that I was in boxers. I closed the door on her face and quickly got dressed before sitting back on my bed. I didn't think Luke would appreciate seeing me in Clary's room with her just out of the shower, dripping wet. I wasn't even sure that she wanted me in her room. Since we started sleeping together, she never locked the bathroom door, just threatening my testicles if I'd dare enter the bathroom while she was in it. I stayed there, wondering what could Luke want with Clary every day, and why her mother never came by nor called. I was lost in my thoughts when Alec popped his head in my room.

"Luke is starting to lose it, please just release Clary."

Then he looked in the room, and noticed that she wasn't in it. I frowned, knowing that the water was still flowing. I got up under Alec's steady eyes and knocked once again at the door, calling her name. But there was still no answer. Alec looked at me, reflecting the worry that I was feeling, and I picked the lock (a skill that Valentine had taught me), and when I entered the bathroom, I felt like I was walking in a fog, for there was so much steam. I called her name, but she didn't answer and once I could see clear I had to face the reality that she was gone. I heard Alec curse behind me.

"Damn it. I knew she was lying!" I turned off the water, asking him what he meant. "I saw her on the parking lot, she said she was taking her bike to the auto shop, but she seemed off. And about to cry ..."

And I made her cry again. I didn't even knew what I did to make her cry and run like that.

"Jace, you didn't ..."

"No I didn't tell her anything about that! Everything was just fine and now she's gone! Damn it!"

I stormed out of my room, going to the auto shop, even though I knew she wouldn't be there. Once in the empty auto shop, I let myself fall on the floor, feeling beat down. I had failed everyone who was counting on me. Robert, Maryse, Clary ... myself. I had one job, one unique job: keep her safe and sound in the Institute, and I hadn't been able to do it. I actually did the contrary and made her run away from me, and therefore the Institute. Why? What have I done to make her so afraid that she had rather runaway than face me? I got up and went back to the Institute to find Izzy and Luke in her room. Luke was looking through her drawers and closet while Izzy was texting.

"What are you doing?" The question was for both of them.

"Alec went to Magnus' to find her, he's keeping me in touch."

"Where is her sketchpad?" I looked at Luke, unsure of what he meant. I knew exactly where it was, and with a little chance, she was with it, but how in Hell her sketchpad would help him find her? I shrugged and he cursed.

"What's going on?"

"I had hope that she would have left it behind."

"Why?"

"There's a face in it that I want to see."

"Who's face?"

"The face of one of the person who might be responsible for her disappearance."

If only he knew I was the one who made her flee like that, he would probably kill me at this very moment. The worry in his eyes was incommensurately, but there was something else, he looked like he could literally kill anyone who had hurt his Clary. Suddenly Izzy shouted us to look at her phone.

**Found her at Magnus'. She's okay, we're on our way back.**

"Of course she would go there..."

The relief that I felt was quickly replaced by curiosity due to Luke's statement.

"Why would she go to Magnus?"

"That's not my place to tell you."

With that he left saying he would wait for her at the parking lot. I was starting to get tired of people telling me that it wasn't their places to tell me things about her. Izzy shrugged and went to her room, and I went straight to the rooftop. Once up there, I couldn't believe it that just a couple hours ago, we were passionately kissing at this very place. I picked up her sketchpad and hesitated. I knew that Luke was referring to her ex when he said he needed to see a face, and I knew he knew what he had done to her, and the face of the culprit was in my hands. I just needed to flip the pages. But doing that was betraying her. It was her secret garden, her illustrated diary, and opening it without her consent was like violating her privacy. I went back in my room and put her sketchpad in my nightstand. Then someone knocked on the door. But instead of seeing Clary's face popping in, I saw Alec's. He looked tired and worried. Oh, that wasn't a good sign.

"Where's Clary?"

"She lost me in the traffic."

"But how could you let her take her bike when you knew she could do that."

"And what was I supposed to do? Tie her and throw her in my trunk!?"

I growled, completely panicked. Now it was obvious that I was the one she was running from. I sat on my bed, rubbing my temples to calm myself.

"I lost her. I went too quickly and now I fucking lost her!"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what I mean! We had sex and now she's gone because I couldn't hold it in my pants!"

"You think that's why she's gone?"

I nodded, my head in my hands. I heard Alec sight before sitting on the bed.

"I don't think that's it. I think she's just really worried with other things in her life ... and that she doesn't really know how to deal with everything."

"That doesn't explain why she left _just_ after we had sex."

He didn't say anything, and we stayed quiet like that for a moment, each thinking, lost in our own thoughts. Suddenly, Izzy barged in, her phone in her hand.

"Simon forwarded me this. '**I'm okay, don't worry. I found my Mom and we want to talk about things, so don't come over (we're not here anyway). Call you later to explain everything. (BTW can you tell Izzy, Luke and the guys that I'm fine). XOXO**.' He said that it wasn't her number."

"What does she mean she found her Mom?" Alec squirmed before saying :

"She was staying here because her Mom was missing and that's all Magnus told me. I don't know anything else so don't ask questions that I obviously know nothing about."

"But that doesn't make any sense. She never said anything about her Mom missing! Did she Jace?"

I shook my head at Izzy's question, trying to sort out the ones in my own mind. Suddenly everything started to make sense, Luke's daily visits, the fact that she never talked about her past, and the longing I saw in her eyes when she had shown me drawings of her mother. I let myself fall on the bed, saying my hands over my eyes :

"It's not because she's with her missing Mom that it means she's fine! It just means that they are both missing now!"

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view**

"How would you know where she is?"

"It's a long story, and I think you'd like to hear it from her, not me."

I had both of my hands on the handlebar, squeezing it firmly in order to avoid falling. How could he know where she was? No one knew, but _he_ did. He could be bluffing, but I couldn't take the risk not to trust him on this one.

"Where is she then?"

"In a little mansion just here in New York. I'll take you there."

"Like in Hell I'll follow you in a empty house! You had me once Jonathan, not twice!"

"Christopher!" He had hissed the name, as if being called Jonathan actually hurt him.

"I don't care about your name. I'm not going with you in an empty house! Just give me the damn address, I'll find my way there."

He deliberated for a moment before giving me a card. On it was written a name '**V. Morgenstern**' and an address.

"It's in Greenwich Village."

I nodded and humped my bike. I looked at him, the Jonathan who had ruined my life and was coming back as a redeemed Christopher. Except for his silky hair which were now longer, he hadn't changed. He was still handsome, tall and muscular. But his eyes were different from the last time I'd seen them. Instead of lust and evilness, there was self-hatred and sadness.

"Thank you for my Mom."

"I'll see you there. I'm not stalking you, it's just that I have to be there."

With that he got in his car. A red _Aston Martin Vanquish Volante_! How in the Hell did he manage to get a car like that? I decided to follow him, knowing that in any case we were going at the same place, I preferred being the one behind. We drove for half an hour before stopping in a street really quiet. He came out of his car, and went in a three story house doing the corner. I warily followed him, my helmet still on my head, and my keys in my hands, ready to attack. The inside of the house was extremely modern compared to the outside. Suddenly I heard my Mom's voice.

"Christopher? It's past sundown, I was starting to wor..."

She stopped as she stepped in the corridor and saw me. I removed my helmet while Christopher disappeared in a room.

"Clary? What are you doing here?"

"I came to take you back home."

"No, you don't understand, you need to leave _right now._"

I looked at her, horrified by what she was saying. It wasn't how I imagined our reunification. She came to me and quickly hugged me before pushing me to the door.

"You _have_ to go back to the Institute! And what are you doing here anyway? What did I tell you about following strangers! Please Clary, ask Luke he will tell you all about it, but ..."

"I knew she couldn't be tamed by walls."

Mom closed her eyes in resignation and I looked over her shoulder to see who had spoken. Once I laid eyes on him, I blamed. It was Valentine. I recognized him from Jace's picture. He was older, his pale-blond hair sparse now by silver hair, and his face had now wrinkles now and then. In a way, he was more handsome than in the picture, his maturity adding something fascinating to his aura. I stared at him, when something hit me.

"You're supposed to be dead at sea."

I had murmured, afraid to realize that he was a ghost or that I had been dreaming. Maybe I was dreaming, a horrible nightmare, and I would quickly snap out of it, waking up in Jace's arms. Christopher arrived behind him and leaned against a doorframe, looking everywhere but at the three of us.

"Yes, I heard that you had been hanging out with my Godson." My heart skipped and Christopher snapped his head up to look at me, an indescribable feeling in his eyes. "Well, it's sure not how I planned to meet you, but we have to do with what is given."

"But you're alive."

"Yes."

"How could you have abandoned your Godson who loved you like his own father to end up living next door to him!"

A flash of sadness transpierced Christopher's eyes, while Valentine looked at me, unmoved by what I have said. My Mom kept shaking next to me, her hand on my shoulder.

"For the same reason your mother left her loving husband to run to the end of the world. To protect what is most precious to us."

I turned my head to her, but she had closed her eyes. What did he mean by running away? She never said anything about having to run away when she was young. I tried to stay focus on the fact that he was alive and kicking and did not even mention that to Jace. I knew that I was projecting on them my inner conflict about my own father. Since I had known he was alive, I kept on hoping that he would look for me, to show me that he actually cared.

"Still, Jace lives in New York and grieves for you while you live here and kidnap people!" My Mom's grip on my shoulder got tighter.

"But Clarissa, I didn't kidnap anyone. What made you think that?"

"YOU KIDNAPPED MY MOM!"

"I did no such thing! I only proposed my wife a better dwelling."

His wife? _His wife_? I turned to my Mom for her to tell me wrong, but she only shook her head and took me in her arms and pet my hair. I looked at Christopher, and he looked as devastated as me.

"I told you, you wouldn't have wanted to hear it from me."

And with that he retreat himself, leaving the reality hit me. _He was my brother_. And he had ... My head started spinning, and everything went black.

I emerged on a couch, my Mom was on her knees next to me, a glass of fresh water in her hand, and Valentine was standing at my feet, looking at me with a worried expression. I sat back avoiding their gaze and took the glass asking how long I have been out.

"Not long honey. Just a couple of minutes. It's just that it was scary."

I rubbed my forehead, still avoiding as I could looking at him. It was definitely not how I imagined meeting my father for the first time. And I certainly did not imagined that he would be the Godfater of the boy I fell for, nor the father of the one who took advantage of me. Speaking of which.

"Where's Christopher?"

"In his room. He didn't take very well the news either when Valentine told him about you."

"How come you never told me I had a brother!"

"Because I didn't know. I thought he was dead."

Something in her voice made me snap my head to her. She _loved_ him. She loved him like a mom loves her child. She loved him in a disproportionate and unequal way, just as she loved me. How could I tell her about what he had done now? She just had reunite with the son she thought she would never hold in her arms. He said that he was someone new, and he had changed, maybe it was for her. Maybe it was because he had a Mom now. How could I break this spark of family that I was flickering in front of me. Suddenly something hit me : I had run off of the Institute and everyone must be worried.

"I need to tell everyone that I'm okay!"

Valentine gave me a phone and he left the room, saying something about giving me privacy for my phone call. I started composing Simon's number (the only one I knew by heart), before I thought better of it and just texted him. I knew that if I called him, I would have to explain things that I didn't know how to explain. Once I sent the message, I looked at my Mom, realizing that even though she looked happy to have her son back, she still seemed really tired and worried.

"You know Luke came every day to check on me."

"I know. Valentine told me." Stalker much.

"So you are not here against your will?"

"Not really. It's just that ..."

"Christopher." She nodded and sat next to me, taking me in her arms and petting my hair.

"How do you know him?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's obvious that you knew each other. I'm just curious on how you two met and I managed to never see him."

What was I supposed to tell her? Even I couldn't handle the truth, I was certainly not going to burden my Mom with it. So I told her part of the truth.

"He helped with Simon ..."

She nodded, knowing that Simon had his share of darkness in his past. We stayed like this a long moment, me too happy to finally be in my Mom's arms, when suddenly she noticed the bandage behind my ear. She had started to scold me when someone cleared his throat behind us. It was Christopher who was looking everywhere but in my eyes.

"Can I talk to you Clary?"

My Mom got up on the instant and said that she needed to make dinner anyway. She left after pecking my forehead, and when she was at his level, she patted his cheek, making them both smile like I'd never seen neither of them smile. Once she was out, he closed the door behind her, making me get up on my feet. But he staid where he was, still not looking at me.

"I take it you haven't told them."

"I'm not going to."

"Why not? You have a chance of revenge, take it."

"What do you mean?"

"You saw how she looked at me? You might have dreamed of having a father, but you have no idea what it feels like not to have a Mom. The first time she saw me she cried for hours, saying that it was too good to be true, and then she took me in her arms as if I was the most precious thing in the world. You don't know how that feels like because you had it all your life. And once I realized that you were her daughter, _their_ daughter, my ... sister, I couldn't bring myself to tell her what I'd done to you. I didn't want to see in her eyes the despair and hate I see in mines every time I look in the mirror. I wanted her to always look at me as if I was her little miracle. So yes, if you want to destroy me, just tell her."

God, I didn't expected that. Him opening up to me like that. Slowly, I went back to sit on the couch, and patted the chair next to hit. He sat, and for the first time, looked at me in the eyes.

"I want to ... ask for a second chance. I know I don't deserve it, I know I shouldn't ask, but I'd like for us to try to be real siblings and not awkward strangers sharing the same house and the same parents."

"I don't know how to be a sibling."

"Me neither."

"What about Jace?"

He shook his dead, a glimpse of something crossing his eyes.

"I don't know how Dad managed it, but I never saw him in my life. I learned that he had a Godson when Mom confronted him about it. You know more about it than me."

"I know nothing... What is he like?"

"Who? Dad?"

"Yes."

Finally I had a father, a legitimate, biological father, but after what Jace had told me, I wasn't sure I would have a good relationship with him. He always said that he was strict, the opposite of my Mom, and that he always pushed his limits, and I didn't like having to prove myself.

"He's ... Dad. He's not a psycho or something, but when he wants something, he gets it. For example, he got frantic in order to get to you. Good thing you went to get a tattoo at a friend of his."

"Hodge know ... him?"

"Yup. How do you think I found you? I'm not Professor X, I can't read in your mind to know where you are!" I laughed at his statement, and he joined me. But when the laughter was gone, the awkward mood came back. I heavily sighed.

"I'll give you your second chance. I'll try not to be ... too bitchy." He ticked at the word. I don't know why, but he never liked me saying cuss words. "I won't blow on the sparkle of a real family that is given to me."

He looked at me, a weight leaving his shoulders. I smiled before getting up and going to the door, feeling my stomach grumble which made me realize that I hadn't eaten since breakfast. I was about to open the door when it opened, revealing Valentine. He looked at me and then at Christopher, before telling him that Mom needed him in the kitchen. Christopher left the room, smiling to me, and Valentine closed the door behind him. I didn't know what to say or what to do, and apparently, neither did he.

"So I heard that you're an artist, like your mother." I nodded, not knowing what to say back. He sighed and smiled to me.

"You know I didn't know Jocelyn was pregnant back then. I would have done things differently otherwise. I know that I'm just a stranger to you right now, but just give me the chance to be a real father to you."

Geez, it was my day on giving chances today! I nodded and he smiled a bit more. So maybe he wasn't that bad guy that anyone let me to believe he was. Maybe he just wanted his family back together, and he was doing it clumsily. I smiled back and then he added.

"As for why I left Jace it was because it was the best thing for him. Since I've been in New York, I had been keeping an eye on him, which led me to you and your liking for tattoos ... and him for what I've seen."

I looked down on my shoes. Talking boys and crazy things I could do with my Mom was fine, but with him, trying to be my father, it felt embarrassing.

"It's okay. I got my first tattoo at your age, maybe even younger. As for the boy thing ... We'll see into this one later. It's not like I have to worry about him stealing my little girl's virtue."

I blushed some more, but apparently, he took it as a sign that I was still a good little girl who was just too prude. Then my stomach grumbled again and he said that we should go and eat before I'd faint again. I smiled, thinking that I could actually like this life I was offered.

~.o.O.o.~. **Jace's point of view.**

It has been four days since Clary had disappeared from the Institute and send this disturbing text. If she was okay, why didn't she at least called us to reassure us. Alec and Izzy could say all they wanted, but I was sure that her silence radio was due to what happened between us. The simple fact that she didn't try to contact me, nor seem to care about me pissed me off. I was angry against her for not letting me know what was actually wrong, but also against myself for not being able to know what was wrong. I spent all my days at the sport-room, boxing my anger away. Alec had tried to come with me at first, but gave up after a few hours, knowing that I wouldn't talk. Every day, after hours and hours of boxing, I would make a detour by Clary's, and ring at her apartment, but no one ever answered. Once I felt that someone was looking at me, but when I turned, hoping it was Clary, no one was to be seen. I tried to reassure myself, thinking that I would actually see her when school would resume, but that was assuming that she was really with her Mom, and not actually missing. When I got back to the Institute, I heard noises coming from her room. I entered without knocking, and for a fraction of second, I thought it was Clary. But when I looked closer, I realized that it was only her Mom. Well at least they weren't missing. She was packing Clary's stuff.

"What's going on?" She jumped on herself and turned to see who it was, a hand on her heart.

"Oh, it's you Jace." How did she know my name? "I'm just packing Clary's stuff."

"She's not coming back?"

"Oh, no she'll be back for school, but she needs her school books for her homework and she's been going crazy about her sketchpad. Do you know where it could be? If I could not pride in my daughter's private life, that'd be great."

"Why didn't she come herself? I'm sure she knows where it is."

"She's at her father's."

"But I thought she didn't know her father."

She stopped looking everywhere to look at me in the eyes, making me feel extremely uneasy. Clary and her, were similar in so many ways, and right now, the way she was looking at me was really Clary-like. Looking through my soul.

"She told you about that. ... Well, she didn't and that's why she's there, to ... bound with him."

"Where does she live then?"

"Jace, she doesn't want to see you right now."

Ouch! She really didn't want to see me. She could have slapped me, I would have been less hurt.

"She told you that?"

"She doesn't have to, she's my daughter, and I know that she has too much on her mind right now to add ... any more problems."

So now, I was a problem. I lied to her about the sketchpad, saying that I didn't know where it was and went in Izzy's room. She was on her bed, texting someone when I flopped next to her. She didn't say anything, knowing that my mood had been absolutely execrable lately. I stayed there for minutes, not daring going in my room where Clary's sketchpad was calling for me. For the past few days it had been THE temptation. I had been on the verge to open it a zillion time, and didn't every time, imagining Clary's disappointed face if I had done so.

"What about a party?"

"I'm not in the mood for parties Isabelle."

"But everyone will be there! Sebastian came back yesterday from his three months abroad and he is throwing a 'I'm back' party. The whole school is going to be there."

"Still not interested."

"Did you hear me? The _whole_ school. That means Clary will be there too."

I grabbed one of her numerous pillow and throw it over my head. This girl couldn't tell when a cause was lost.

"I doubt that! She doesn't know Sebastian and she doesn't do parties."

Izzy sighed and ripped the pillow off of my face to show me the conversation she's been having on her phone. It was with Clary.

**After thinking about it and being pushed by annoying people (yes that includes YOU!) I decided I'll come to this stupid party. C**

**YAY! When are you coming for me to doll you up?(because I hadn't had the possibility to do so lately!). I**

**Nope, I'll see you there, just text me the address. I'll be with someone, I don't want to make him wait ages while you're torturing me. ;P. C**

"Who's him?"

"Do you see psychic on my forehead!"

I sat up, the phone still in my hand. Something was wrong. This wasn't Clary. Clary always avoided crowded places. And what was that with her bringing a man?

"How long have you been in contact with her?"

"Since she's gone. And no, I didn't tell you because she asked me not to."

"But I'm _your brother. _I should come before her!"

"You should, but you don't. You preferred roll in your self-pity rather than ask yourself what she could be going through, so no, I don't take your side. She has a lot to deal with, she doesn't need an arrogant self-centered jerk in additions of all her problems."

"How am I supposed to help her with her problems if she doesn't tell me anything about it!"

"I don't know Jace. You don't have to snap at me! All I know if that if you want to lay cards on the table, she'll be at Sebastian's tomorrow night. I begged her to come in order to help you, so be grateful, and get the Hell out of my room!"

I glared at her and went straight to my room slamming the door behind me. All I could think at this moment was the 'him' Clary mentioned. Who was he? What was that? She disappeared to reappear with a 'him' on her arm! Never in the world I had felt so angry in my life.

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view**

"Come on Clary, we should go!"

I frowned, rubbing my forehead. This party upcoming was calling for troubles. Christopher and I were in the kitchen, getting the dinner ready for Mom had gone to take the things I really needed at the Institute. I had been surprised to learn that Valentine and Christopher were also vegans. Apparently, Mom had turned Dad (okay, it still felt weird to call him that) and he kept his diet, instilling it to his son (which was weird, because Jace ate meat and dairy, even though he was brought up by the same man). I went back to cutting the veggies, shaking my head.

"No, no, no. There'll be so many people that I don't want to see right now."

"Like whom?"

"Simon! If Izzy's there, Simon will be too. What am I supposed to tell him?"

"You haven't told him."

"No, because last time I checked, Jordan and him would have happily ripped your head off."

He looked away and passed his hand in his hair.

"I'm sorry, but it's true."

"Don't be. They have every right to do so."

"What should I tell them?"

"The truth. It's not your job to protect me, it's the other way around!"

I sighed and he sat on the counter, his legs hanging in the air.

"Dad's going to kill you if you untidy his kitchen."

He got off of the counter, and we both laughed our head off. Valentine/Dad was a compulsive cleaning freak! A man version of Bree Van de Kamp! He couldn't stand a speck of dust in his house (at least I knew now why Jace's room was so neat). When we stopped laughing, he took out a pan to stir the veggies I had cut. I actually enjoyed this life. Sure there were awkward moments between Christopher and I, but we tried to put them behind. Mom was doing her best not to explode from the joy of having her two children with her, but she still didn't tell either of us why she ran from Valentine, and neither did he. There were sometimes when we saw them talking by looks, and it was in those only moments that I saw Mom becoming angry, even though she always tried to hide it. Christopher snapped me out.

"Claryyyyyyyy!"

"Sorry, I zoned out."

"I figured. I was saying, aren't you trying to avoid the real problem?"

"Uh? What?"

"About the party."

"What do you mean?"

"Jace."

Uh, Jace. What was I supposed to do with Jace? How was I suppose to tell him that his Godfather was alive, and oh, by the way he is my Dad?

"I could tell him if you don't want to."

"Why would you do that?"

"To make you stop frowning. It's not really attractive, you'll age before the time, and instead of having a baby sister, I'll have a granny!" I stuck my tongue out to him, making him chuckle and decided to comply to everyone's demand, texting Izzy I'd go to her party.

"You know, I'm sure Dad won't let us go anyway, he seems kind of old-school."

"Go where?" That was my luck. He had to come when I was criticizing him.

"Clary's been invited to a party organized by some of her classmates. We thought we'd go there, bind, see the people I'll actually have to hang out with when school starts back."

God he was good! Just enough disinterest to make it look like a casual thing, and enough talk to make it look like an innocent gathering between classmates and not a huge teenager party like so many. Valentine looked at me for a moment, worry in his eyes, before saying, still looking at me.

"You're going together?"

"That's the plan?"

"You're not to leave her on her own." What did I say about being old school... But I wasn't having it.

"Hey, I can take care of myself!"

"Oh, I have faith in your abilities to defend yourself. It's just I don't trust any drunken teenager that can cross your way. So either you're siamese either you're not going."

"I'll stick to her."

I rolled my eyes, trying to hide the smile growing on my lips. Okay they were acting like cave men, but still, I really felt at this moment like I was his daughter and his sister. Dad set up the table while we finished the dinner. Mom arrived a few minutes later, with all my school books in a box, and she told me that she hadn't been able to find my sketchpad.

~.o.O.o.~ **Still Clary's point of view**

"God Christopher! Who's the girl in this house?"

He had been locked in the bathroom for two hours. Even Izzy didn't get so long to get dressed! I kicked the door one more time before going back in my room. The room was _huge_! If I had thought the one at the Institute was big, it was nothing compared to this one. Izzy would have loved it. When she showed me the room, my Mom told me that Valentine always had a sense of grandeur. Well, for sure. I had made a few drawings, to make it less empty, all representing the four of us, but our faces were always stern. We weren't _that_ family yet. I laid on the bed, waiting for this girl I had for brother to finally be ready. What could take him so long? I got up to look at myself one last time. I was wearing blue denim short shorts with a sleeveless pink top, showing just enough cleavage. I had put on a necklace and a bracelet and I was wearing pink strap high heels (yes, high heels!). I could deny it all I wanted, but when I got dressed like that, I was only thinking of Jace and of what he would think of it. I knew he liked it when I was wearing heels for it made me more accessible for kissing, I knew he liked feeling my bare legs when he was caressing me, and I knew he couldn't stop staring at my cleavage every time it was showing. Someone know knocked on my door and I grabbed my jacket.

"Finally! I didn't know a boy could spend so many hours in a bathroom!"

"What are you wearing!?"

"Cloths. Surely you heard of them, you're wearing some right now!"

I quickly put on my jacket, having taken the long one in order to avoid having the same conversation with my Dad.

"You're not going there dressed like that. Dad won't let you!"

"Good thing we're not telling him then. If you snitch on me, I'll ruin your face!"

He raised an eyebrow (why did _he_ get the gene of the raising eyebrow) before shrugging and mumbling something about me being evil. We went down stairs and waved our parents goodbye (God, how I loved this picture) before heading to the party. During the journey, I couldn't stop thinking about the conversation I had earlier with Simon. I had told him that I had found my Mom, and along with her, a father and brother (without really mentioning who was this brother, just saying that I actually knew him from before, and making him promise not go mental when he'd find out who he was), but to Simon, some pieces didn't go altogether. Especially the one were my Mom still haven't told me why she had left. And now that I thinking about it, I had to admit it was weird. Sometimes, I caught her looking at Valentine with sparkles in her eyes, the same sparkles I had for Jace, but she always shook it off, a stern expression on her face.

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view**

The day of the party, all my anger was gone, I just wanted to see her, hold her and feel her next to me. Izzy took hours to get ready, making me regret not to have gone with Alec and Magnus. She changed her outfit five times, saying that it was Simon and hers first party and she had to look her best. I frowned a bit seeing her put so much efforts in a relationship that she didn't take seriously, but then again, it was Izzy. Izzy could parade just to go buy some bread! When she was finally ready, we went to the party, me being the designated driver. Once on the Verlacs driveway, I looked for Clary's Harley, when I spotted a _really_ nice car. A red Aston Martin, one of the latest model. I whistled and Izzy followed my gaze, before muttering something about boys being boys.

"What? She _is_ nice!"

"She? It's a car!"

"Well, wait until you hear Clary talking about her Harley!"

She shook her head and went inside. I hesitated to follow her in, if Clary was still not here (her missing Harley being the proof of that) I could still wait for her there. But then again, if she came with someone, maybe she came by car. I decided to go in and after going around for half an hour, I spotted her flaming red hair. She was talking vehemently with Simon (weird, Izzy wasn't around), but I couldn't hear what they were saying because of the raging party. I came closer and that's when I heard her shouting, which surprised me, she never shouted, nor let her anger take control.

"Simon, you promised to drop it!"

"I can't drop it Clary! How can _you_? After what he'd done to you!"

Clary was between Simon and another boy, who was about my height and had really long pale blond hair. He was bent over Clary, so I couldn't see his face and he had his hand on her shoulder and was trying to pull her somewhere else. She shook him off, and told him something. He shrugged and got lost in the crowd. I approached them a bit more, but she still hadn't see me. Simon was furious, looking where the boy had gone and seemed ready to go after him. Clary was on the verge to cry and was pulling Simon's shirt to force him to stay where he was.

"Simon, you promised. You promised me you wouldn't do or say anything. You _promised_!"

"Clary?"

She barely looked at me. She turned her head a fraction of second from Simon to look at me, but without really looking at me. She looked at my chest, and snapped back her attention to Simon. It hurt me more than I cared to admit. A whole week without seeing her seemed like a whole week with a piece of me missing. I wanted to hold her against me, but something in the way she was standing, prevented me to do so. Simon looked at me longer, and then he removed Clary's hands from his shirt and turned her for her to face me, pushing her in my arms.

"Jace! Put some sense into her! Tell her to ..."

"Simon!"

She hissed through her teeth before taking a step away from me. I tried to understand her and the mess I just walked in, when a nasty thought came into my mind. For Simon to look so murderous, he could have been only one person. That one person who caused her so much pain.

"Clary who was it?"

"My big brother, Christopher."

"You don't have a big brother."

"Well, last week I didn't have a dad either."

She glared at Simon before spinning on her heels and leaving. I caught up to her, putting my hand on her shoulder, but the way she reacted was not the way I hoped for. She froze, refusing to turn back to look at me in the eyes.

"Clary, we need to talk."

"I can't right now, I have to find my brother first."

With that she shook my hand off of her and got lost in the crowd.

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view**

God, he'll never forgive me for the way I snapped at him, but I needed to find Christopher. I couldn't risk Jace bumping into this walking Valentine look-alike without having explained the weird situation we were in, and Christopher had promised to take care of telling him. I looked for him everywhere, but couldn't find him. I sat at one of swings in the garden and gently swung myself. This wasn't how I planned to spend my evening, I knew I should have stayed home, playing video games!

"Don't I know you?"

I turned my head to look to whom just talked to me with that French accent. A dark haired boy was smiling at me. He had a large nose and a friendly smile, and was incredibly tall. Why did everyone had to be so damn tall! In a way, he was handsome, and looked like a person who knew what fun meant.

"I doubt that."

"No, no. I know! You're that girl from Java Jones! I used to hangout a lot there during summer, and you were always there, drawing something on your sketchpad!"

"Maybe... But I don't remember you."

"Well, I wasn't drawing, so that's normal." He smiled, and I chuckled. He was nice. "I'm Sebastian, the party-thrower, and you are? Because calling the drawing-girl is a bit creepy." I giggled before giving him my name.

"I'm Clary." He gave me a cup that I refused at first before he laughed saying :

"Don't worry it's plain orange juice." He drank in the cup and gave it back to me. "Not to pride or anything, but you don't seem to have so much fun at my party."

"Not to be mean or anything, but I'm not. I only came because Izzy asked me to, saying that I should be more involved in my scholar-social life."

"Oh, you're an Institute girl?"

"I know, such a shame!" God, it was so easy talking and joking with him.

"Not at all. Like that I get see you there, Clary the Drawing-Girl. You should make it your sigil and put it on a shirt."

I laughed, and dropped my cup on myself. Clumsiness never quite leaves you does it! He gave me tons of tissues, laughing with me and saying that it wasn't the season for wet shirts. Suddenly I felt a presence behind me.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, clumsy me dropped her stupid cup. You could have let me good genes you know!"

Christopher didn't seem so convinced by what I said, and kept on looking at Sebastian with a murderous look. God, I know I always wanted a big brother, but not one who would attacked everybody who would talk to me.

"Sebastian, this is my brother Christopher."

"Sebastian? So this is your party? Maybe you should take care of your guests. There's a girl attacking Jordan inside."

Sebastian rushed back in his house while I looked at Christopher.

"What is Jordan doing here?"

"Simon must have called him."

"Of course he did! Have you seen Jace?"

"I think I saw him going upstairs."

"Well, let's go then."

We returned to the house, no sign of Jordan or the girl who tried to apparently kill him, and went upstairs. But when we opened the first door, to see if Jace was there, we found Alec and Magnus in a position I would never had want to see them in. I quickly closed back the door, not sure that they saw me.

"This was awkward."

"Tell me about it!"

We went to the next door, and I leaned my ear against the door, to make sure that there was nothing similar going on, and hearing nothing, I opened the door, to find a bathroom. A bathroom with Jace making out with a dark haired girl! The girl removed herself from Jace and looked at me embarrassed. She was someone from school, I already saw here, and remembered that I would have liked very much to draw her. She was striking, part Asian, making her cheekbones curve out of her face and her brown almond eyes bring the attention to her face. I couldn't stop looking at them, and when I finally regained my composure, I turned to Christopher telling him that it wasn't worth it anymore. I knew it was my fault to have waited so long to talk to him, or even acknowledge him. Izzy had told me that he had been asking to see me, my Mom had told me, but I didn't do anything to reassure him. And now, my cold attitude back-fired on me. I closed my eyes and bit my lip, refusing to cry when I heard his voice.

"Clary?"

~.o.O.o.~

**Mohahahahahah, the end of this loooooooooooooooooong chapter! But there was so much to set in, and I really needed this switch of character's point of view. Hope you didn't mind. If actually you liked it, tell me, I'll do it more often. **

**Finally Valentine! (Yes I do like Valentine!). But with all of this hurly-burly, what happened to Luke? Oulala! Pffff, I'm exhausted, and talking total nonsense. Okay I'll stop before embarrassing myself **

**You know that Cassandra Clare owns the Mortal Instruments and our lives (since the last book will be out in less than a week!) **

**Anyway, cheers. **


	20. Chapter 20

**Here comes a new chapter. The twentieth! God, that makes a lot of them. This one will be shorter than the last one (not that difficult you could tell me) and will be Jace's point of view, back before caught him kissing Aline. And I know everyone hates me right now for ruining the Clace situation, but come on, it couldn't stay cheesy forever! And in the end, we all know that they'll end up together (or not mohahahahahah, I'm so evil)**

**Anyway, you know, I own everything in here ... Pffff who am I kidding? Everything goes to Cassandra Clare! But I don't even know why I still bother to tell you the obvious ;P**

**Enjoy. **

~.o.O.o.~

"Jace?"

I turned my head, surprised to see Aline leaning her back against the door that she had closed. She was looking awkwardly at her shoes and twisting her hands.

"Geez Aline, do you know what men do in the bathroom?" She looked up to me, unsure of what I meant. "They pee! Can I actually pee without an audience?"

"Oh, sorry. It's just that I wanted to ask you something."

"Which is?" She scratched her hair behind her head, still avoiding my gaze.

"You know how you're always ... discreet about your ... personal life."

"I don't get what you're getting at."

She heaved and walked the few steps separating us, taking me by surprise by kissing me. I tried to shove her off of my lips, but she clanged harder, and that's at this precise moment that Clary opened the door, someone behind her. Aline immediately stopped whatever she was doing while Clary was looking at me, disappointment and sadness gleaming in her eyes. She kept staring at me, waiting for me to say something, when she suddenly turned and talked to the person she was with. I couldn't see him properly for he was against the light. They started leaving when I called her. I couldn't let her go like that. We had to talk about this situation we put ourselves in and that I couldn't stand anymore. She turned back to face me, and Aline quickly disappeared under Clary's steady eyes. I thought I would see tears in her eyes, but I saw nothing. Her eyes were blank, and I didn't like that at all. I didn't like seeing her looking at me as if I couldn't bring any emotions out of her.

"It's not ..."

"You can do whatever you want Jace. It's not up to me to tell you what you can or cannot do."

"Do you hear me? It's not what you think. I don't even know what it was all about!"

"Clary, just let's go before you say things you'll regret."

I detached my gaze from her to look at him. Her 'brother'. And when I finally looked at him, _really_ looked at him, I thought I was standing before a ghost. He looked like Valentine, he was his exact replicate. They had the same hair, the same face, the same height, the same musculature, the only thing was that he was my age. He looked at me, evaluating me before he grinned.

"Yes, it's what you think."

He was Valentine's son! I didn't even know he had a son. He never mentioned him. Then I looked at Clary, she was warily looking at me, considering my reaction. Then it hit me. She said he was her brother.

"You're ... You're ... you're ..."

I couldn't speak properly. How could have she been his daughter? How could he have bad two children I knew nothing about? I remembered the day she ran off. She had seen the picture, _and then_ ran off. _That_ was the thing that went wrong. It wasn't me! It was her, she recognized her father and she didn't want to tell me. Why? Her father ... Her mom had said that she was with her father ...

"He's alive?" She nodded. "And you don't tell me! You see that your father is my Godfather, and you leave! Without an explanation! You left just after we gad sex! Just after I told you that I love you! And you find your dad, _my Godfather_ and you don't tell me! You leave me with nothing but questions while everyone tells me you're avoiding me! And all along you knew that I was grieving a person who wasn't dead! What's wrong with you? What's fucking wrong with you? What kept you from telling me that he is your father? You thought I wouldn't find out with him looking exactly like Valentine!? WHAT KEPT YOU FROM TELLING ME MY GODFATHER IS ALIVE?"

Alec and Magnus had come in the bathroom, my voice attracting them. Her brother still had his hand on her shoulder, but she didn't do anything. She just looked at me, sadness in her green eyes. She swallowed back the tears that she wanted to shed and simply said :"Nothing." I turned on my heel, refusing to see her at the moment. I was so angry right now, that I felt I could hurt anyone that was on my way. And I didn't want to hurt her. I heard her whispering "I'm sorry." And I knew she had left. This was bad, if she left like that, she could probably never talk to me again, but I couldn't let go of my anger. I knew that Alec and Manchus were still behind me, tennis balls replacing their eyes, and I left angrily the bathroom, saying that they would have to bring Izzy home.

Once home, I went to the rooftop to clear my head. The fresh air on the night purifying me and cleansing me from all feelings. Gradually, I let go of my anger, only to feel ashamed for what I had done. I shouted at her without giving her a chance to explain herself. I shouted at her as if it was all her fault. But it wasn't. It was all Valentine's fault. He was the one who abandoned each of us to do who-knows-what. And worst of all, he was living near by and he never tried to contact me. He reunited his family and left me aside for I wasn't his real son. Just someone he had to take care of until he couldn't stand it anymore and dumped me to the Lightwoods. He didn't give a shit about me. I could die for all he cared. I went back to my room, thinking of Clary, and how I didn't handle the situation properly. She had discovered herself a father and brother, a family, and I rubbed in her face the fact that she was happier than I was. Suddenly, Izzy barged in my room, and plunged in my bed.

"I hate all the men of this planet. Let's go to Krypton."

"What happened?"

"Simon had been two timing me."

She had sat up and was looking extremely angry. She was really scary at this moment, and I was happy not to be Simon.

"He did what?"

"Yes, with a girl called Maia. A girl I actually know for we used to do kick-boxing together. She showed up at the party, and Simon ended up between the two of us, stuttering things like 'no exclusivity' and stuff. Grrrr, it's supposed to be me in this situation, not him. It's _my_ thing!"

"Is that why you're angry?"

She thought about it for a second before nodding. Then she leaned herself against the mattress and closed her eyes, putting her hands on her head, and she growled out her frustration, kicking in the air. Once calmed, she asked me about Clary.

"By the way, did you get a chance to talk to Clary? She was freaking hot tonight, my job is done with her."

I did noticed how hot she was. With her short shorts curving perfectly her ass, her cleavage-showing pink shirt, and her high heels tracing her legs. And what didn't help was that part of her shirt was wet, making it see through.

"I saw her... Let's just say that this evening wasn't a really good one for the both of us."

"She dumped you?" I shook my head no. "_You_ dumped _her_?!"

"No, are you crazy? It's just that, ... everything is a wreck. And I didn't reacted like I should have to what she had to tell me."

I told her about her having a brother and father, and their father being Valentine, and me being unable to stop shouting at her, and her blankly leaving.

"Man, you're life is soooo complicated!"

"Tell me about it... The worst part is I don't know if she'll ever want to talk to me after that. I didn't give her a chance to explain it or say anything for that matter."

"Well, you'll find out about that Monday at school. She told me that she was staying here for school, saying that she's tired of changing school every three seconds."

~.o.O.o.~

During the whole weekend, I tried avoiding thinking about her, so I stayed as much as possible at the sports-room. Izzy was a walking reminder of her, and she didn't help by always talking about her and texting her. When I had asked for her number, she refused to give it to me, saying that she didn't want to be involved in our 'messed up relation' more than she already was. Izzy, not wanting to be involved in my love-life, it was like saying that she didn't want to go shopping. Alec didn't say anything to me about what happened to the party, until Sunday afternoon, when he came by the sports-room.

"Keep on going like that and you'll look like The Rock."

"Can't be, I'm not bald!" I didn't even bother looking at him, and just kept on lifting the alters.

"And how long do you plan on avoiding the problem?

"What problem?"

"The fact that you broke Clary's heart."

That statement made me stop what I was doing. I sat up, and passing my hand in my hair, I asked him what he meant by that.

"You haven't seen her face when she left, she was empty. I'm sure she would have been alone she would have jumped off of a bridge,"

''Don't say that!"

''But that's the truth. She came to tell you about her past, about _your_ past, and you slammed it in her face. How do you think that feels?"

"Alec, fuck off."

"Very well, but I don't want to see you moping on how you lost her again! You're the one who pushed her away! The blame is all on you!"

And with that, he left, leaving me alone with the thoughts I had tried to avoid. Me losing Clary. This couldn't happen, but it felt like it already happened.

~.o.O.o.~

Monday morning, I was in school early, sitting at our usual spot and I impatiently waited for her to come sit next to me. When she finally arrived, it was five minutes before class, and she was with her brother, having an animated conversation. I saw her quickly look over our table and noticing me before jerking her head back to her brother. They talked together until the bell rang, and during the whole conversation, he kept on glaring at me. Great her new found brother was taking really seriously his big brother job, and it wasn't like I made a good impression on him when we met. At the ring, Clary came to sit next to me, her head bent and definitely avoiding to look at me in the eyes. M. Aldertee entered the class and pick up the assignments he had gave us for the holidays, creating a slight babel while he was doing so. I used the occasion to give her back her sketchpad.

"Here's your sketchbook."

"Thank you... You haven't looked in it, have you?"

"No."

She sighed in relief and hugged it to her heart before putting it in her bag. That was at least one thing that I had done properly. Then, I didn't the chance to talk to her some more, for M. Aldertee said that we were to have a surprise-test. How I hate when teachers do that! When the bell rang, Clary flew out of the class, having finished her test 10 minutes before us all. The way she left made it pretty clear to me, she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I left the classroom when someone put his hand on my shoulder. I turned only to see her brother.

"Can I talk to you?" I nodded and waited for him to talk. "What you said Friday night was ... really wrong. She never knew what our father looked like, never even knew his name, barely even knew he was alive. When she saw him, she only knew he was your Godfather, and she defended you, asking the exact same questions that you asked her. She stood up for you, and still does. She just didn't know how to tell you. How do you tell someone that their dead father figure is not that dead? And when she finally tried to tell you, you just shouted at her, when you had no right to. So I'll just say it once : leave her alone. You don't deserve the efforts she puts in you!"

"You want me to back off from Clary?"

"That's exactly what I want."

"You think that because your her brother I will do as you said? There's no way in Hell that I'll back off. As long as she wants me, I'll stick to her. "

"Jace, I'm trying to be nice here. I'm trying to stay cool about this all weird situation. I'm trying not to punch your face in the wall for you touching my baby sister in inappropriate ways. So I'm asking kindly, back off!"

~.o.O.o.~

All day long I thought about what her brother had said. About how she had defended me, putting me before herself. This was making me so happy that I felt like I could fly. If he had hoped to make me back off, it actually did the opposite. All I wanted now was to be alone with to talk to her, and make sure that we were still a thing. Before going to music class, I hesitated in going pick her up at her Art class, but decided to just wait for her at our table. She arrived and sat next to me. I looked at her and was about to talk to her when Sebastian cut me off.

"Hey Clary! I didn't know you did music to." She hesitantly looked at me, before turning her head to Sebastian and smiling to him.

"It's just for extra credits."

"Oh, the Drawing-Girl is being a goody to shoes!"

She giggled. She _giggled_! I never made her giggle. She chuckled or laughed, but never she did something so _girly_ with me.

"So what are you going to sing? A song from the Lord of the Rings?"

"Damn, spotted!" She giggled, _again_. "Actually I kind of wrote a song Friday after the party. "

"Really, did I inspired you that much?"

Was it me or he was flirting with _my_ girl just in front of me? And she was leading him on! The way she was smiling, the way was bending over the table, the way she was waving her hair. All signs of flirt, and the worst part, worst than having to see that first hand, the worst part is that she never acted like that with me.

"You know you always do!"

"Always happy to be your muse. When you need a nude model, just tell me."

"I will"

Finally Ms. Herondale walked in, stopping this agony. I looked at Clary, silently questioning her, but she just ignored me. Man, she wasn't making it easy. It was like the whole universe was against us, as soon as the warm ups were over, Ms. Herondale called Clary to the stage. I looked at her while she was going up the stage. She was wearing really skinny tight white jeans, with a white tank top embracing her breast perfectly and a black jacket over it, making her breast pop a bit more. But she still had her boots at her feet, making her girly, but not so much. She sat at the piano, which surprised me, I didn't know she could play. And then she sang.

_When you came in the storm of love_

_When you came and sacrificed me like a dove_

_And when you left_

_And when you made me cry and bleed to death_

_I hoped somehow_

_I was something to you_

_You were under my spell_

_We were meant to be_

_When I believed in your touch, your words_

_You looks, you, in all of you_

_Why didn't you just let me die to you?_

_Why do I cry_

_When you don't seem to know who I am?_

_Why do I did_

_When you don't believe in my hope_

_Our fallen love_

_Was I something to you?_

_Were we meant to be?_

As soon as she finished singing, everyone applauded, even though many people were looking from her to me, gossiping who-knows-what. I waited for her to sit back next to me, but when she was at the level of our table, she thought better of it and grabbed her bag before bolting out of the room. Everyone looked at the door as she slammed it, and I used this diversion to do the same. I heard Ms. Herondale calling my name, but I was already on the corridor, checking both exits to know where she could be. Man she was fast, nowhere to be seen. I bolted to our quarters, hoping she was in her room, but when I entered it, it was empty. There were no signs that she ever lived in the room next to mine. I went to Izzy's room to ask her about it.

"Where are Clary's stuff?"

"Her parents came today and took it all away. Apparently she doesn't need to stay here anymore. And let me tell you that her ... father wasn't really pleased when he got that you guys shared a bathroom."

"I don't care about him. What about Clary? Where is she staying now?"

"Somewhere in Greenwich Village. She gave me the address, you want it?"

"What do you think?!"

She shrugged before searching on her back and giving me a small piece of paper. I took it and thanked her before going there.

Once in front of her house, I stayed in the car for at least half an hour, hesitating to go in. It's not that I didn't want to see her, it's I didn't want to see _him_. I didn't want to confront the man who faked his death in order to get rid of me. But there was so much avoidance when this man was the father of the girl you loved. I got out of the car, spotting once again the Aston Martin (so it must have been her brother's) and rang the bell, praying for her or her mother to answer the door. But the universe wasn't so kind.

"Jace?"

I looked at him, noticing through his wrinkles and few white hair that he had grow old. He was wearing a suit, making me feel extremely underdressed. All of the sudden, I felt like I was back on being this kid that always tried to do better to impress his Godfather. I shook off the feeling and regained my composure. He had nothing to do with why I was here.

"I didn't come to talk to you. I came for Clary."

"What do you want with her?"

"Talk. Not that's any of your business."

"I am her father."

"Luke is. Luke was there when you weren't. What kind of father abandons his baby girl and hide his son? What kind of Godfather makes his Godson thinks he is dead? What kind of man are you?"

If I had tried to make him angry, I failed miserably. He didn't budged, and only looked at me with a sort of sadness in his eyes.

"Anyway, as I said, I came for Clary. Is she here?"

"She's in the garden." He let me in and lead me to their garden. "Jace?"

"What?''

"Keep your hands off of my daughter."

I turned to glare at him and for one second, I really felt like he was actually her father, not wanting his little girl to be anything more than his little girl. He left me in front of a French-window, and I went into their garden... More like Central Park. Who has so much space in their garden in New York? Clary was at the very back, sitting on a bench swing, her head bent over her sketchpad. She was so into her drawing that she didn't hear me coming.

~.o.O.o.~

**And that's it! I know it is so much shorter than the last one, but come on, I can't always do chapters that long. And Sizzy is slowly coming (yay). **

**Hope you liked it despite the cheesiness. (By the way, if you feel like it is too cheesy, or not enough, just tell me, and I'll try to change it to your convenience) **

**Anyway, you all know about Cassandra Clare owning everything. **

**Cheers. **


	21. Chapter 21

**Here is the chapter 21 with Clary's point of view, and light lemons. **

**Cassandra Clare has all the rights of The Mortal Instruments and its characters. **

**Enjoy. **

~.o.O.o.~

I heard foot steps, and without looking, I knew it was Jace. I kept my head down on my drawing while he sat next to me, wondering if he had seen his Godfather and talked to him. He didn't say anything, just slightly swaying us, and I pretended to be over concentrated by my drawing, hiding it from him with my shoulder. It was a drawing of him and I, of the way I pictured us when we last kissed on the Institute's rooftop, only we were slightly less dress. He was holding me in his arms, one hand on my ass, and the other in my back while we were both shirtless and I had my hands around his neck. You couldn't really see our faces, but it was obvious that we were sharing a passionate kiss. When the light was too dim for me to keep drawing, I closed my pad, still avoiding looking at him.

"How long do you think you can pretend I am not here next to you?"

I turned my head to look at his profile, he was staring into space, his hands in his pockets. His face was blank of emotions, but I knew that he had a zillion questions going through his mind. I brought my knees to my chest to put my chin on them and I closed my eyes.

"That was a real question Clary!"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, you could at least look at me in the eyes."

I snapped my eyes open to immediately get lost in the honey of his eyes. God how I missed looking at him like that. I had thought I would see in his eyes indifference and anger, that's why I avoided his gaze all day long, but the way he looked at me was the same as the one he always used to have. He brought his hand to my face before retracting himself and getting up.

"I just came to tell you that ... your family situation doesn't have to change anything between us. I never cared about who was your family, I don't see why I should start now."

And with that he started leaving. I got up, grabbing his arm to make him stop.

"Did you really mean it? What you told me when... before I took off?" He looked down at me, a hint of hurt in his eyes.

"When I told you that I loved you?" I nodded, refusing to look away. "Do you think I'd be here if I didn't mean it?"

"I don't know what to think or believe lately."

"Well, believe that."

And he bent down, his hands still in his pockets, to kiss me. A soft and pure kiss on my lips that electrified my whole body. I quickly wrapped my hands around his neck and closed the gap between our bodies, asking more from him. Suddenly I was in his arms, my legs around him, his hands under my shirt caressing my bare skin. It started raining and he held on to me a little bit tighter, never breaking our kiss. I was tasting his mouth while the rain got heavier, never having enough of him. Then he put me down and pecked one last time my lips.

"I don't want you to get pneumonia, and you going around saying that I kissed you to death."

"Oh don't worry. You're not that good of a kisser anyway."

He frowned and I picked up my pad from the bench before heading back to the house, his hand in mine. Once we were safe from the rain, in the empty living room, I put my pad on the table before turning to him.

"So were are we now? What are we?" He looked shocked by my question.

"Isn't it obvious? You're my girlfriend. We are together. I thought that statement in your garden was clear enough."

"What about ... my family."

"I'm not dating your family. As far as I'm concerned, I'm only dating you!"

I smiled to him, even though I knew that the fact he didn't want to get involved with my father would ultimately backfire on us one day or another, I was too happy by his statement. He wanted to be with me, just me, only me. I came closer to him, ready to resume what we had started in the garden.

"You should wear white more often, it is very appealing on a day such as this one."

I blushed, realizing that my shirt might be transparent by now. He cupped my face in his hands and bent over me, his breathe tickling my nose. He played with me like that for a moment, never actually kissing me, but making my lips ache for his.

"I should go back to the Institute, if I don't, I'll have to eat whatever Izzy would have cooked, and I'll die during the night."

"Or you could stay for dinner. Mom is making a specialty of her country."

He hesitated for a second before shaking his head, refusing the offer. I knew it was because he didn't want to speak to his Godfather, but didn't say anything. He kept caressing my hair when he suddenly frowned, removing my hair from behind my right ear.

"What's that?"

"A tattoo. Surely you know what they are, you have a few of them all over your chest."

He smiled and kissed my tattoo, before trailing his kiss down my neck, then back to my jaw all the way up to my ear. Then he whispered lustfully to me.

"Maybe I should check if there aren't any tattoos hiding underneath you cloths."

I shivered, already melting to his words, but he straightened up and smiled to me. I understood that the moment was over and wondered if the fact that he was so reasonable was due to the fact that his Godfather/my father was somewhere in the house. We left the living room, hand in hand and once we were in the corridor, in front of the entrance door, he kissed me. The sweet kiss of a 'goodbye, I'll see you tomorrow' that we never actually had the chance to share before. Suddenly someone cleared his throat behind us, and Jace cursed under his breath before turning to face his Godfather. He looked at us, his eyes lingering on our hands intertwined, my wet shirt and Jace's face. Jace didn't say anything, just glared at him before opening the door to leave. I stopped him, and pecked him on the lips, telling him I'd see him in class the following day. Once I closed the door behind him, Valentine was looking at me with a set of mixed emotions, but he didn't say anything, which I was grateful to him for. I didn't want to have this awkward father-daughter conversation just yet, ever would be actually perfect. I went upstairs to change cloths and ran into Christopher once I got out of my room.

"So I saw that you made up with Angel Boy."

"How would you know that?"

"I saw you ... doing whatever you were doing by the window."

"Ew, stalker much! That is creepy, even for a big brother!"

"It's not like I was looking forward to see that! Just bad timing!"

I shrugged and headed downstairs. He followed me, apparently not ready to drop the thing.

"So you forgave him?"

"What?"

"Him making out with that slutty girl?"

Oh, I had totally forgotten about that, but it wasn't like it was that big of a deal. Aline had come to me at lunch explaining me that she was the one who trapped him in the bathroom and kissed him without his consent. She said it was to check on something, and by the way she blushed when she said it, I was sure it was to see wether she was into boys or into girls.

"That... It was nothing."

"But..."

"Christopher, I forgave a lot more to a lot less worthy people."

He didn't reply, looking at his shoes and making me feel guilty for rubbing it in his face.

"I'm sorry. I know you're trying to be the good big brother, but I'm asking you to drop it here. If I ever need you to kick someone's ass for me, I'll tell you."

He ticked at my cuss word but still dropped it. We headed to the kitchen together, but before entering, we heard our parents arguing which took us aback. They barely spoke to each other when we were around, let along argue. We stayed outside the kitchen, looking at each other before exchanging a real sibling look and leaning against the door to listen to what they were saying.

"I just don't like it Jocelyn. I don't like the way he looks at her."

"I already told you Valentine, there's nothing wrong with him. It's simply and plainly love."

"Love? More like lust!"

"No, he loves her, you should hear him talking about her, it's like he would give his heart and soul for her. Isn't it what you want? Isn't it what you want for your daughter?"

"Yes, but not him."

"Why that?"

"You know why."

"Well, this is _your_ fault, not hers, so don't take it on her!"

I was shocked, never yet I had heard my Mom raise her voice. Christopher was looking at me with tennis balls-eyes, but he seemed as confused as I was. Okay, it was obvious that they were talking about Jace, but what was up with them and their insinuations. Christopher shook his head to tell me he had no idea of what they were talking about. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and bolted to the stairs before stoping, and pretending that we were there the whole time. Mom arrived five seconds after us and told us that dinner was ready.

~.o.O.o.~

The next day we arrived at school way too early, even though I woke up rather late (damn Christopher and his speeding habits) and I decided to hang around in the Music room, ditching Christopher on the way. I sat on the piano and started playing.

"I didn't know you could play piano."

"I didn't. I was just taught a few notes."

"Maybe I should give you some lessons."

Jace sat next to me and placed his hands on mines before kissing my neck and trailing his kiss up to my mouth. I let him lead the pace, trying to calm the fire that he had set within me. I felt him smile under our kiss before he broke it.

"Yeah, I should definitely give you lessons."

"I don't know, I didn't quite get that last part."

And with that I kissed him, cupping his face with my hands and bringing him closer to me. I slowly sat on his laps while his hands passionately wind up my back. I grabbed his hair, still kissing him, happy that for once _I_ was the one bending over him. Suddenly he closed the keyboard of the piano behind me and leaned me against the piano. He stopped kissing me to trace my jaw with his lips and kiss my neck making me wrap my legs around him. I brought his face up to mine to kiss him ardently bringing him to moan. Then the bell rang (of course) and he broke our kiss to smirk at me.

"We could always skip first period, there's many things I could teach you about _Les Liaisons Dangereuses_."

"You want my Dad to kill me for skipping school!" He frowned before removing himself from me.

"I wasn't serious Clary! Come on, we're already late."

He took my hand in his and when we arrived to Literature (late as can be), everyone was staring at us. I caught Christopher warily looking at us and unconsciously I straightened up my cloths and hair.

~.o.O.o.~

"I'll catch you back home."

"And how will you go there without a drive?"

"I'll manage."

He frowned, but I waved him off, pretending to have something important to do. Well, of course, that was a lie, I just didn't want to be in the parents-free house with him. I knew I had said I would try to put things behind, but I was still _trying_, and as long as our parents were home, I didn't mind having him around, but with them gone for the evening ... I thought it would be better if I just avoided the house. I left the parking lot, thinking that I could still go to Simon's. He was a bit down since the party, mostly due to the fact that Izzy and Maia had found out about each other, almost ripping his throat in the process. And now he was all sob-y because he had realized how much he cared about Izzy. This situation was really stupid because she felt exactly the same way about him, they just didn't talk enough about their feelings to my liking. The problem with me going to Simon's was that he would probably bring the Christopher issue.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to live _there_ now?"

I looked up to see that I had run into Jace. I was still in the Institute, lost in one of its numerous staircases. I should really stop zoning out like that.

"I am on my way."

"You need a lift?" I raised my eyebrows at him, knowing that he didn't want to be there. "Just a lift, I'm not staying there."

"He's not home right now anyway. Something about having to do something somewhere. I didn't really listened to what they said."

He smiled and lead us to his car. Once in front of the house, I spotted that neither Christopher's Aston Martin nor Valentine's Mercedes were here, meaning I had the house all by myself. I turned to Jace, proposing him to come to which he agreed to after hesitating for a moment. God he _really_ didn't want to see him. I lead him upstairs, but when I opened the door, he froze and stayed at the frame.

"What's wrong?"

"You plus me plus a bed ... Not such a good idea. Especially with you dressed like that."

I looked down on myself, remembering in what I had put on. Black shorts with thighs boots and a large black pullover. Nothing really sexy, but apparently, it was very much to his liking. I stepped further into the room, decided to tease him.

"Well, I could always change cloths."

I slowly took off my shoes and then I started playing with the hem of my pullover, pretending that I was about to pull it off at any second.

"You're a demon, you're aware of that, aren't you?"

I smiled and let myself fall on my bed. I heard him close the door and walk around the room. I looked at him while he was looking everywhere but at the bed, when his eyes fell on the only picture of the room, the one of my Mom pregnant as could be. He picked it up and showed my Mom's stomach.

"Is that you?"

"I used to think so, now I'm not that sure. I think it's Christopher in her womb."

"Christopher ..." His face was sceptic when he said his name, making me frown and sit up.

"Do I have to take it that you don't like him?"

"I don't know him. I can't like or dislike him. And he's your brother, so I am bound to disagree with him. It's in the Sibling Bible."

"I like Izzy very much."

"But that's because you're not normal!"

I opened my mouth feigning a hurt expression and buried my face in the pillows to hide my laugh. The face he had made was priceless. I was shaking with laughter, which he must have taken it for cries because he was apologizing all he could trying to make me face him. When I couldn't hold it anymore, I rolled on the side, laughing my ass off and tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Very funny Clary."

"It was! Your face was ... priceless! If only I could have taken a picture!"

"Careful, you're not in a good position to tease with me."

"And why is that?"

"Because I could easily get rid of your cloths in the second and ..."

He trailed down his sentence, wiggling his eyebrows. But instead of acting on it, he got up, fleeing the bed. I quickly got up myself, standing on the bed and I grabbed his shoulder to make him turn. Once he was facing me, I smiled to the fact that I was slightly taller and kissed him. He kissed me back, his hands lingering on the bare skin of my legs.

"You really _are_ a demon!"

He lifted up my pullover, kissing my neck, sucking my collarbone and making me moan like a mad woman. I was ready for him to take me right then, right there, but he seemed to want to make it last as long as he could. He removed my tank top kissing his way from my belly button up to my mouth.

"You are my everything Clary."

Then he gently picked me in his arms and laid me on the bed, his eyes full of lust and love while he was checking me up.

"God, you have no idea how much I love you!"

He took off his shirt and leaned against me. God how I loved feeling his weight on me, his skin against mine, his lips tasting me. Slowly I removed his trousers, and seized his crotch through the fabric. He moaned, biting his lips and making me smile. I loved seeing how strongly he could react to what I could do to him. He kissed me, more passionately, his hand on my breast, caressing it under the fabric of my bra that he quickly unclasped with his other hand. When his lips where back on my collarbone, I couldn't help but moan out his name, my hand on his erection, going up and down. I sensed him getting more exited when he suddenly stopped and rolled on the side, clenching his fists and jaw and staring with intensity at the ceiling, avoiding to look at me.

"Damn it, I never thought we'd be in this situation!"

"What? You and me in a bed. We've already been in this situation."

"Maybe, but I was prepared last time. I've nothing on me now!"

Oh, he meant condom by that. He took his head in his hand and growled of frustration. I could see how much he was exited by our foreplay, him being only in boxers. I bit my lip, not knowing what I should do to help him about that.

~.o.O.o.~

**Here was chapter 21. Hope you liked it. **

**So I have a question for everyone who follows the story, do you want more insight from the other characters? Tell me about it, for me to do a few chapters with them if you want. **

**Anyway I don't own anything you all know that, except for the lyrics of last chapter (I forgot to put that)**

**Cheers**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments characters. **

**This is chapter 22 from Jace's point of view. **

**Enjoy. **

~.o.O.o.~

George Washington, John Addams, Thomas Jefferson. Damn it, this is not working! Maybe I should translate the national anthem in all the languages I knew. Anything but think of Clary, half naked, laying in her bed next to me. I heard her getting up of the bed, but I kept my eyes closed knowing that looking at her wouldn't be helpful in my situation. This was definitely not how I had planned to spend the rest of my day. Not with Clary, not in her room, not with us being half-naked in her bed! Suddenly, I felt her lips back on mines and her hand on my crotch.

"Clary ... We _can't_! Stop it!"

She smiled against my mouth before trailing her kiss down my neck and my chest, her hand fondling my dick. I bit my lip, thinking of everything but her. I tried to focus on the noise I had heard earlier, indicating that someone of her family had come home. Someone that I hope was not Valentine, because I didn't want him to barge in in the room of his daughter, finding her half-naked her hand in my pants, kissing her way down... Wait what was she doing?! Before I could know it, she slid down my boxers.

"Clary? What are you doing?"

She looked up to me and smiled to me. If Lust had to be incarnated in someone right now, it would have been her. Just looking at her like that made me want to cum. I closed my eyes as she started licking the head of my throbbing cock and softly playing with my balls. This girl was driving me crazy, she was going to kill me! I clenched my fists in the pillow behind my head as she teased me some more, making moan of pleasure. She kept on licking my verge, following the veins from the base to the tip. I felt myself pre-cum and she licked it off, twirling our tongue around my verge. Fuck! Where did she learn to do?!

"Fuck Clary ..."

At that moment, she took me in her mouth, slowly sliding my _whole_ cock in her mouth. I growled and intertwined my fingers in her hair. Subconsciously I got aware of some music blasting from the next room, but I was too focused on Clary and what she was doing to me. I thought that she wouldn't go all the way down, or she would gag at some point, but she surprised me by sucking all her way up and down again and again, always trying to stay a bit longer when I was fully in her mouth. Her hands were all over my chest, gently scratching it. I kept on moaning as she was going faster and faster and when I felt that I was about to cum I tried to remove her head in order not to finish in her mouth, but she refused to move, making me cum in her mouth, growling one last time her name. I was panting when she crawled back up next to me, wiping off the corner of her mouth and licking her fingers. _God she fucking swallowed_!

"Clary this was ... WOW!"

She smiled, happy with herself and I kissed her. I felt the taste of myself lingering on her lips, but that didn't stop me for deepening our kiss. She smiled and sat up, putting back her pullover. I heard the music being switched off and guessed that it should have been her brother that tried to muff out the noise we made.

"We better not play with fire, my parents can be home any minutes now." I pulled up my boxers and quickly dressed up. She was about to get up when I grabbed her hand

"Where are you going?"

"... I don't want to be found like that."

"I'm sure Valentine can handle me cuddling his daughter in a chaste and fully clothed embrace." She frowned as I said his name, but still came into my arms. I hugged her a little tighter, intoxicating myself with her strawberry smell.

"You know this is the first time you mentioned his name and him being my father in the same sentence."

She really was paying attention to the smallest details. I didn't reply to her because I still wasn't quite sure on how I felt about this whole situation. Sure he was her father, sure she seemed beyond happy to have finally found her father, but he was still the man who preferred pretend he was dead rather than take care of me. I caressed her hair while she traced lines on my chest. I was enjoying the moment. Of her next to me, of us being just together, happy as can be.

"Well, we better go downstairs. I'm so hungry I could eat you!"

"I wouldn't mind."

She punched me with a pillow and got up. I did the same before catching her and kissing her. She gasped of surprise before melting under my kiss. She moaned when my hands caressed her skin under her pullover and I pulled back, smirking at her. She smiled back before stating:

"Who's the demon now?" I chuckled and let go of her before allowing myself to start something that would end up with her being stripped naked.

"Let's go eat something before you starve to death."

"Go first, I'll catch you up there!"

I left her and went downstairs, but as soon as I stepped in the kitchen, I found someone death staring at me. Her brother. He was sitting at the table, a bowl of cereals in front of him. Never I had seen someone putting so much intensity in chewing his cereals. His eyes were different than Valentine's, darker, and they were glaring at me. He looked at me, analyzing my messed up hair, my untucked shirt, my trousers (shit, I hadn't buttoned them back properly), anger filling his eyes. I examined him, seeing a little less of Valentine on him. His hands and fingers were long, thin, more delicate like Clary's. In fact they shared the same nose, the same long and thick lashes, the same way to look at you as if they were scanning your soul, even though for his part, it looked more as if he was trying to rip it out of me. Clary arrived in the kitchen, snapping me off of my staring. I didn't hear her coming for she was barefoot. She had lifted her hair up in a high pony tail, her eyes were sparkling and her cheeks were slightly pink. As she took notice of the presence of her brother, she looked a bit surprised (didn't she hear the music?) and he gave me a dirty look after having quickly glance at her.

"Oh, you're home?"

"Yup."

She didn't seem embarrassed as she was when Izzy would walk on us, but more like annoyed. He fully turned his head to her, smiling to her, all the animosity that he gave me gone, making me understand that he hated me. She smiled back before going to the cupboard to take out two glasses.

"You better let your hair down, if Dad sees that ... thing on your neck, he'll go ballistic!"

"What?!"

She checked her reflexion in a spoon and I spotted a hickey on her collarbone. She cursed under her breath (making him tick) and set her hair free before bringing them on her left side. I was surprised because even I hadn't seen it before he mentioned it, he really was looking for the smallest details. I could still feel him throwing daggers at me with his eyes, but I ignored him, only paying attention to Clary.

"I'm starving!" While saying that, she bent down in the fridge. Did she had to excite me like that when her brother was next to us? I could feel myself twitch a little and I looked away. She asked me if I wanted something, but I refused.

"Didn't you eat when you got back home?"

Even though he was talking to her, he was looking at me. The way he looked at me when he said that made me sure that he knew exactly what we were doing in her room, what she had been doing to me. Thankfully, Clary seemed clueless about his insinuation when she closed the fridge.

"Not really, I was otherwise occupied... Homework and stuff, you know."

If his look was dirty before, it was nothing to the one he was giving me at the moment, it felt like he could kill me on the spot. She sat between him and I, a glass of soy milk and a banana in her hand. _ A fucking banana_! Was she serious? She slowly peeled her banana, and moaned once she took a bite.

"God it feels so goooood to eat!"

Her brother suddenly stood up and left the kitchen. Clary looked at him as he exited the kitchen before turning to me and shrugging her shoulders.

"That was weird and awkward!"

"Tell me about it!"

"Do you think he was home all along?"

"I think he got home somewhere between me stripping you naked and me giving you that hickey. Didn't you here the music?" She frowned blushing.

"My ears where otherwise occupied by the 'music' _you_ were making." It was my turn to blush, hoping that she didn't see it.

~.o.O.o.~

I left Clary's house as soon as her Mom arrived knowing that Valentine couldn't be that far behind. She tried to make me stay for dinner, but I pretended to have some business to do with Alec. I didn't want to have to spend more time than I had to with him. But as soon as I entered my room, I had a really extremely unpleasant surprise. Valentine waiting for me in my desk chair. I slowly closed the door, analyzing every aspect of his position. He was once again in a suit, one his leg resting on the other, a hand on my desk holding a frame. The same frame that Clary held a week ago except that instead of his picture, it was a picture of her and I. A picture that Izzy sneaked on us when we were on the couch. Clary was resting her head on my knees, her hands on my chest while I was looking down on her, my fingers caressing her marvelous fiery hair. I had replaced the picture as soon as I found out about him, not wanting a reminder of his betrayal in my room. Next to the picture was a box of condoms that I was sure I had put in my night stand, and his signet ring.

"What do you want?"

"I already told you what I wanted, but apparently, you didn't listen."

He raised the frame, pointing his daughter in it. I felt my anger building up but tried to stay calm, holding the handle of the door tighter.

"I told you to keep your hands to yourself."

"Why should I care of what you want?"

"Because you and I both know what you are deep inside Jace. You're nothing, nothing worth spending time on. You know it, I know it. As soon as you'll get bored with her, you'll go back to your little routine of a different girl every night. Yes I know about that. I know about the girls, about the fights to spread a 'so-called' justice, about the selfish, obnoxious and useless piece of crap you became. And let me tell you that you are not going to ruin my daughter as you ruined yourself."

"I am not going to ruin her."

My voice was almost a whisper. I was beaten down by the fact that he knew so much about me, so much for someone who pretended to be dead. But I was mostly hurt by him saying that I was going to destroy Clary.

"Yes you will. She's too good for you, and you're a poison. You've seen how good hearted she was, she can easily endanger herself for others, no matter what the consequences can be on her. When is the last time you've done something similar? How long do you think you can stay with someone that good, that perfect? How long before you realize that her perfection only reflects your own imperfection, your own distorted self? How long until you realize that she would be better off without you? Long enough for her to get hurt in the process?"

I clenched my jaw, refusing to look at him in the eye.

"Jace, you always were a disappointment, nothing else than a failure. You disappointed me, you disappointed the Lightwoods, what makes you think you won't disappoint her?"

He got up, putting the picture-less frame back at its rightful place. That's when I snapped.

"Put back the picture where it was!"

"No, it's a chimera, its place is in the trash-bin."

"Chimera? What makes you think that what I feel for Clary is not real? In fact what gives you the right to show up here and talk as if you were her real father? You know nothing about her! You abandoned her as you abandoned me, as you abandon every one when you get tired of them!" He smiled, sitting back on the chair.

"So you want to have _this_ talk? I didn't abandon you, I just gave you a better chance in life and the way I did it was the best way to do it in your interest. Unfortunately, you spoiled this chance of a better life I gave you and became ... whatever you are now. As for Clary ... I was the one blind sided and abandoned. I didn't know a thing about her until recently. It was her mother who took off. And believe me, now that I am in her life, I know things about her that she would never tell you, things that would make dress your hair."

I was glaring at him, my hand still on the handle, squeezing it so firmly that I could barely feel the tip of my fingers anymore. Slowly he got up, picked up the box of condoms and gave it to me.

"Go back to what you were and quit soiling my daughter!"

With that he shoved me off the door and left. I stayed a while staring into space before I lost it. I punched the wall next to the door wishing it was his face. Who the fuck did he think he was? How could he even think for a second that I would hurt Clary or treat her the same way I treated other girls? But more his words were echoing in my mind, more I felt a part of truth. I knew I was a disappointment and that Clary was the only person who still blindly trusted in me, but what would happen when she would learn how much of a wreck I was? What would she say? What would she think? What would she do?

~.o.O.o.~

I was sitting at a bar, a glass in my hand and my head bent down to stare into nothing. What was I supposed to do? Listen to Valentine, assume he knew better and leave Clary to a better life? I knew she was good, too good for me. She believed in me, but didn't know the real me. The me who would get into fights just because he felt like it, the me who would beat people almost to their death because they had said or done something I didn't like, the me who almost killed a kid. What if she knew all of that? Would she still look at me with trust and confidence in her big green eyes? Would she still smile to me as if I was her ray of sun? Would she still want me to hold her in my arms?

"Jace? Long time no see!"

I turned my head to see a tall and slim luxurious blond with blue eyes. She was wearing silver sort _short_ shorts and a short silver top that was showing her lacteous white belly to the world. I smirked at her as she put her hand on mine.

"Kaelie ... Indeed, no time no see."

~.o.O.o.~

**What? A chapter this short? Sorry I was overwhelmed with paint all day? But don't worry, the next chapters are going to be longer (I might actually bind again the two characters, so ... They will have to be longer) **

**Anyway, hope you liked it (I know I keep saying that, but that's because I really mean it, and I don't really know if you do or don't :S)**

**Anyway cheers until next chapter. **


	23. Chapter 23

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view. **

I woke up to the buzz of my phone. I tried to ignore it before thinking better of it, after Simon, I knew how important a phone call in the middle of the night could be. 2:31. Better be good.

"Mmmm?"

"Clary?"

The sound of Jace's voice woke me up completely. He didn't sound as usual, but I couldn't quite put my finger on what was different.

"Jace? Is everything okay? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yes, I just wanted to know if we could meet up?"

"At 2am?"

"I'm at Washington Square Park."

It was ten minutes from home, but it still worried me that he could be there, so far from his home, at such an hour. What was wrong with him?

"I'll be there in ten."

I quickly hang up and throw on the first pair of shorts that came to me. I picked up my boots and quietly crept out of my room praying all the holy things of this world that Valentine was a heavy sleeper. I couldn't even begin to imagine the scene he would make it he caught me sneaking out of the house to go and meet my boyfriend. Once outside I quickly put my shoes on and ran to Washington Square Park, my keys in my hand ready to attack. Once I got there I was out of breath, I looked everywhere but couldn't see him. The cold of the season started sending chills on me, making me regret to have left with only a baggy Metallica shirt and my shorts on me. The silence was oppressing me when suddenly someone took me in his arms and I screamed of fear. I turned ready to plant my aggressor with my keys when I realized it was Jace (of course it was Jace, he was the reason I was here!).

"Jace! You freaked me out!"

"Sorry. I just really needed to see you."

I looked at him trying to understand what was wrong with him. He seemed desperate, on the verge to cry. Never I had seem like that, and it was scarring me. What could have gone so wrong that Jace would be have been all shaken up? I put my hand on his cheek to make him look at me, but he only closed his eyes.

"Jace? What's wrong?"

He opened his eyes to look in mines. He looked so sad that it was breaking my heart and suddenly he cupped my face and kissed me. This kiss was ... a bit frightening. Every time he had kissed me, it was always with delicacy, softness and tenderness. No matter how passionate our kisses had been, he always had been gentle when he kissed me. Now his kiss seemed desperate. He was holding on to me as if he would never be able to do so again. Abruptly he lifted me up before moving us and crushing me against a tree. His hands were fiercely wind up my bare legs, so harshly that I knew I would have bruises. I broke the kiss. Not sure of what as up with him.

"Jace stop."

He didn't, only kissing me harder on my neck, nibbling my skin, his hands now under my shirt. God I did not like where this was going.

"You're scarring me."

He stopped all of the sudden, letting go of me. I wrapped my arms around myself, stunned by what just happened. _This_ was not Jace. _This_ was not the person I knew, the person who always tried to make me feel like I was worth it. I kneeled against the tree, trying to keep my emotions to myself. I heard him kneel too so I lifted my head up to look at him.

"What was that?"

"I'm sorry Clary. I'm so sorry. Please don't cry."

"I'm not!"

I angrily wiped my traitorous tears when suddenly his face broke. I swear I saw him shed a tear before he got up and started walk away. I quickly stood up and placed myself before him, trying to ignore the cold that was freezing me.

"Jace! What was that all about!?"

"It was about me loving you!" What? That didn't make any sense. "It's about me loving you and me feeling that I'm losing you. Feeling that I'm losing you to your new found family! Feeling that I'm losing you to this past that you don't want to share! Feeling that I'm losing you to all those guys eying you at school when you don't look at them! Feeling that I'm losing you because I will never be up to your expectations!"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not that perfect guy that you think I am. I'm far from that."

"Good. Perfection is dull. How can you make me feel something if you're always the same damn perfect person? How can you make me feel all these things I never knew I could feel if I know beforehand what they are going to be? How can I feel what I feel for you when I know that in front of perfection you only feel adulation and envy? Tell me Jace, how?"

He shook his head, not listening to me, so I cupped him into my hands.

"I don't want perfection Jace. I want you. The you that always knows how to make me smile. The you that made me forget things I thought I'd never forget. The you that makes me want to melt in your arms every time you say my name or you look at me. This is all I'll ever expect from you."

I looked at him hoping that he would understand that his fears were spurious. Slowly he cupped my face in his hands making me shiver at his warmth. God it was so cold. He noticed my shaking and removed his jacket to put it on me before kneeling and putting his head in his head.

"I can't lose you."

"You don't have to."

"And what if I tell you that I went to a bar in order to forget you?"

That would explain why he wasn't like himself, why he wasn't so in control of himself, why he was so unlike his usual self always thinking twice what he would say. But it also didn't made sense. Why would he want to forget me if he didn't want to lose me? I kneeled back to be at his level and cupped his face.

"I'd say you're here, it's all that matters."

"You're not asking me if I hooked with someone else?"

"If you had, you wouldn't bad here, would you?" He shook his head no, sadness in his eyes.

"No I'd be crying over how I lost you. Clary ... What have you done to me? Why can't I keep you out of my mind? Why in everything I do my first thought is 'What would Clary think?'? Why I don't feel good when you're not around? God I love you! You have no idea how much I love you! You have no friggin idea how much I do love you."

I bit my lips before softly kissing him, and he cupped my face, returning it with all the tenderness I was used to. Then he stopped, my head still in his hands and looked me in the eyes.

"Do you love me?"

"Do you really think that I need to tell you those empty words? Just close your eyes." He did. "Can't you feel what I feel for you?"

He opened back his eyes and I saw all his love in it. He slowly brought my face to his and kissed me. The desperate need of earlier was gone, only replaced by love and gentleness. I intertwined my fingers in his hair and when his hands left my face to bring me closer to him from the back I moaned. I made him sit and placed myself on his laps, bringing our kiss to a more passionate level, when I suddenly broke our kiss to sneeze. Why? Why did I have to break this magic moment with Jace with a stupid sneeze?

"You better get back home. I don't want you to catch a cold because of me."

"You want to come?"

"What?"

"The Institute is really far, you could still crash on the couch ... or with me."

I got up and took his hand to make do so too. Once he was standing, I started making my way to my house, his hand still in mine.

"Clary, I don't want Valentine to find me on his couch. And certainly not in his daughter's bed!"

"Well, he won't, I always lock my room." I turned to face him. "I want to sleep with you Jace. I miss the warmth of your arms."

"How can I refuse when you put it like that?"

~.o.O.o.~** still Clary's point of view.**

"Clary, wake up! Wake up of I'll pick the lock!"

I abruptly got up, remembering that Jace had slept with me. He was sitting on he chair, just in front of the bed, smiling to me.

"I'm up! I'm up! I'll be out in five minutes!"

I heard Christopher footsteps fading away and I got out of bed, realizing what I had done. It had seemed like a great idea yesterday night, but now, I didn't know how I would justify Jace's presence in my room.

"God I'm _so_ dead!" I took my head in my hands and sat back on the edge of my head.

"Look who's having cold feet all of the sudden. Don't worry, nobody will now I was hear. I'll sneak out and no one will notice."

I nodded and told him to stay in the room while I was taking a quick shower. Once in the bathroom, I tried to calm myself, knowing that it was completely useless. How more cliché could this relationship I had with Jace could get? Him sneaking in and out of my house! When I think I always wanted a normal, average and simple life. Well I was far from it now. Once dressed up and ready, I left the bathroom hoping that no one would be on my way. But I was not so lucky, just before I entered back in my room a voice stopped me.

"Clary? Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yes."

It's not like I could blow my father away. I closed the door and turned to face him. He looked at me, and I knew what it was all about before he even started talking. We were about to have this awkward father-daughter talk about him not wanting me to date boys until I was 50 at least. In a way, I was missing Luke for this because we never had those awkward moments, even when he caught Jace and I making out, he just asked me if I was sure about, not pushing the awkwardness to the level Valentine was about to.

"I didn't really want to have this conversation with you, ever would have been better. But you need to stop seeing Jace."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because he is bad news." I frowned. How could he say that when he didn't see him growing for the past seven years?

"God, I didn't want to have this conversation either. I don't want to sound like a brat or an ungrateful child but ... you don't know him. Not like I do. Maybe he had done bad things in the past, but we all come with luggages. It's not him anymore and I don't want to know what he did. I know you want to be the good father here, but forbidding me to see him is not the good way. Don't make me chose." He frowned, evaluating the pros and cons, before passing his hand on his face.

"Trust me, you shouldn't trust him. You should beware of him. Beware of men."

"I will."

"That goes for your brother too."

Before I could ask him what was he was talking about, he left, going downstairs. I went back to my room wondering what he could have meant by that. What did he mean? Christopher was his son, the one he kept with him, the one he raised, so why would he warn me against him?

"I never thought someone could manage to shut Valentine up."

"What?" For a second I had forgotten about Jace in my room and I felt relived not to have said embarrassing things that he could have heard. He was smiling. "Oh shut up about it. Just do what you can to be in the Park in 15 minutes. I'll pick you up."

Saying that I gave him my spare helmet, the one Jordan used to wear when he taught me to drive my bike with passenger. After I left the room and headed to the kitchen I was glad to see that everyone was in it. At least Jace had a fair chance on sneaking out.

"I think I'll take my Harley today?"

"Why that? It might rain."

"It's been a while since I took her out. I don't want her to think I forgot her."

Christopher looked at me as if I was crazy. I really needed to stop impersonating my bike

"You do realize you're talking about a stupid bike."

"Call my bike stupid one more time and you'll be walking funny!"

That statement made our parents laugh. I got up and after taking my own helmet, I said goodbye and drove to Washington Square Park. Jace was waiting from, the helmet hanging on his side. I don't know how he did it, but he still did it. He smiled when he saw me and met me up to kiss me. I kissed him back before leading us to my bike.

"Do you want me to drive?"

"You can drive bikes?"

"Yup. It'd be easier if I drive."

"Well, if you think I'll let you touch my baby that way, you're insane. She's mine to drive!"

With that I humped on, indicating him to do the same and drove us to school.

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view. **

We arrived in class under her brother's wary eyes. He quickly laid eyes on her helmet, then on mine. Good job Captain Obvious! Now, all the sneaking out was thrown away in the trash. As we sat at our usual spot, Clary slumped on the table, resting her head between her arms. I gently caressed her hair until the professor arrived. Unfortunately, he arrived with Robert standing next to him and staring at me. He quickly looked at Clary's head, and glanced at her brother before signaling me to follow him. I was in big troubles. When Clary had disappeared, I had totally forgotten about me being grounded to the Institute and not being allowed to leave it. And since I found back Clary, I've done nothing but getting out of the Institute. I took my bag and kissed Clary on the forehead. She vividly raised her head, looking at me quizzically, and I shook my head to reassure her. Then I followed Robert, knowing there was going to be Hell to pay. He didn't say anything during the whole way to his office, and once we got there, he closed the door telling me to sit, before doing so himself.

"So? Would you care to tell me where you were last night when we came back home?"

"At Clary's." There was no point in lying, and I never liked to lie anyway.

"You spent the night in Valentine's house?"

Man I had hoped that he wouldn't say that. Since I discovered the identity of Clary's father, this had been a question that had been nagging me: did my adoptive parents knew? I knew they had known her mother when they were all young, I knew that if Clary had come to the Institute it was because her Mom had pulled those long-lost friendship strings, but I hoped with all my heart that they didn't know that my Godfather was her father.

"So, you actually knew who was her father, and you didn't tell me."

"No, we didn't tell you."

"And why that? What keeps everyone from telling me that my girlfriend's father is my Godfather?"

"Because he was supposed to be dead. He was supposed to be dead and her Mom didn't want her to be in any way involved with him. The less she knew, the better it was. Are you telling me that you would have keep the secret if you had known?"

I thought about it for a moment, and knew that I would have tell her. She had been secretly longing to know about her father, who was I to deprive her from the truth?

"Still, I would have liked it better to hear it from you, and not from his _son_!"

"About that..."

"What?"

"I think it'd be better for everyone if you'd stay away from the Morgenstern family."

"Don't worry, I'm not planning on including Valentine back in my life, nor his son."

"I'm talking about Clary."

"Clary is a Fray!" What was wrong with everyone? Why was everyone so determined to separate us? I got up and left Robert's office in a fury.

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view. **

"Are you okay Clary?"

"No, I want to die!"

I looked up to see Sebastian smiling down on me. It was lunch time but I hadn't move from my table, unable to feel any of my muscles. I was taking ill and I felt that I was slowly slipping into numb-land.

"You look like Hell!"

"Yes, I know. It's the new in." He chuckled before helping me up.

"Maybe you'd better go home."

"Yes. I guess you're right." I grabbed my helmet, and headed to the parking lot followed by Sebastian.

"I hope you're not planning to drive your bike in your state! Come on I'll give you a drive."

I didn't even try to argue and followed him to his car. I knew I was supposed to eat with Izzy and her brothers, but I didn't even had the force to text them I wouldn't be able to make it. Sebastian drove me to my house and backed off as soon as Valentine showed up. I guess he could be a bit scary with his tall figure, his wide chest and his thick muscular arms. Add to that his restrained and closed face, he was not someone you would like to cross. Sebastian quickly left me while I was wrestling against sleep. I managed to get myself to bed after throwing my trousers away and fell asleep as soon as I was under the covered.

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view. **

I didn't really pay attention to the classes after that talk with Robert. I was pissed off by the fact that everyone thought that they knew better about us. Valentine, her brother, Robert, this was starting to get really annoying. When launch arrived I joined my siblings, hoping that they wouldn't ask questions. Alec stayed quiet, and when Izzy opened her mouth to harass me, he shushed her. Never yet I had been so grateful toward Alec. They sat quietly next to me when I realized that something was missing.

"Izzy, where is Clary?" I knew that they had the latest period together (maybe Clary was right and I was really a stalker). She looked in the cafeteria, looking for her and shrugged.

"I don't know, I saw her take off with Sebastian and I assumed she would bring him along. But apparently I was wrong."

"Verlac?"

"Yes. How many Sebastian's do we know?"

I frowned, not liking the idea of him with her. Apparently he didn't get that Clary and I were a thing, and he was turning around her like a vulture ready to attack her at any signs of weakness. I had to restrain myself for getting up and looking for them. She would eventually show up, a bright smile illuminating her face as soon as she'd see me. In the worst of cases, I'll see her next period. I wanted to tell her about Robert's betrayal, about the fact that he knew all along about our situation. I knew that she would find the kind words to calm me and to show me that it wasn't such a big deal. I needed her right now, I needed her soothing voice to tell me that everything was going to be okay.

She didn't show up next period, but her brother was there. I didn't know why, but I didn't like him. I didn't like the way he looked at me, I didn't like the way he was talking , and I didn't like the way he paid too much attention to Clary. Whenever she was in the room, his eyes flickered to her, analyzing her every move, her every breathe. I couldn't tell why, but it bugged me. I knew it was all new for both of them, this 'having a sibling' thing, but I didn't like it. I didn't like either the way she would always act different when he was around, more reserved, more stiff, more aware of what she was saying or doing. The hours passed without me even noticing them, and after the Music class, I was stopped by a tall guy. Someone I knew wasn't going to the Institute. He was tall, lean and muscular with rebellious brown hair all over his face. He was wearing a leather jacket and black jeans. He was in his late teens, early twenties.

"Jace?" I nodded, wondering how he could know my name. "I would be needing that." He pointed the helmet that Clary gave me in the morning. I didn't even realized that I had cart it around. I looked at him, surprised by his statement.

"I'm Jordan. Clary asked me to pick up her bike, and in order to do so, I need my helmet."

"_Your_ helmet?"

"Yup. I left it with Clary in case she ever wanted to take a passenger on, or in case of emergencies."

Who was that guy I never heard off? And what was that with Clary allowing him to drive her bike? She almost lost it this morning when I proposed to do it!

"So, can I have it? I still have to go to her place and talk to her before going to work."

"I can drive her bike back to her place."

"No you can't, you don't have a spare key."

"And you do?"

"I'm the one who taught her how to drive, and the only one of her friends that knows how to drive a bike, so yeah I have a spare key. The helmet please."

I gave it to him, knowing that I had nothing to say, except suffer the fact that she trusted that guy more than she trusted me. He took it and started walking away before turning back to me.

"Oh, and Jace? Don't get it wrong, Clary likes you very much, too much if you ask me. It's just that she doesn't open up easily. Just give her time and stick around because she needs you right now. You have no idea how much you help her just by being with her."

And with that he left, putting the helmet on his head. I started walking without a true goal when I thought better of it and decided to go by her house to see if she was alright. She did disappeared in the middle of the day, and even though Izzy told me that Sebastian (of course it had to be Sebastian) dropped her at her house for she was about to faint. I still wanted to see by myself that she wasn't too extenuated. I knew it was her night out with almost nothing on her that had made her sick and I couldn't help but feel bad about it. I was in the parking lot when I spotted the Aston Martin and its owner staring at me before walking up to me.

"Jace. Don't ever do that again!"

"What?"

"You think you can come, defile my sister and then spend the night in her bed! She's not a toy you can deliver your tensions in! She's not yours to take!"

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view. **

"Clary? Do you want some soup?"

I rubbed my eyes and sat up as Valentine came into my room. I already felt better, but still accepted happily the soup. He put the tray he had made on my laps and sat on the edge of the bed.

"So I guess this is where I tell you that you shouldn't sneak out of the house in the middle of the night."

I looked at him, stopping drinking my soup, not sure where this was going. Did he know with whom I had spend the night? I doubted that, otherwise he wouldn't have been so quiet.

"I know that you like your friend Clary, but you can't keep doing that. It is not your fault that he felt into this, and it is not your responsibility to take care of him. I want you to promise me that you won't do that again."

Oh, he meant Simon. Of course Mom would have tell him about Simon. So I was lucky that he didn't know that Jace had spent the night, somehow I knew that he wouldn't like it at all.

"I can't promise you that. This is not me. Whoever needs me, I will go help that person. I can't promise you that I'll stand aside when someone need my help."

"Of course you wouldn't. Just next time, don't sneak out, just let us know."

I nodded and looked at me once more. His eyes were full pride, love and other feelings that I couldn't understand. He left the room and I resumed eating my soup. When I got downstairs to put the tray back in the kitchen, I found Jordan in the corridor speaking with my Dad. I ran into Jordan's arms so happy to see him.

"You brought back my baby?"

"Yes."

He was staring at Valentine, noticing his screaming resemblance with Christopher. His hands held me a little tighter than usual. Valentine cleared his throat and I realized that I was only wearing a baggy shirt that was only covering me until my mid-tights. I really needed to invest in real pajamas. I took Jordan's arm and lead us to the living room, telling my Dad that everything was okay. Once we were in the room he sat on the couch, and I did the same after closing the door.

"You know, I had hoped that Simon was delirious when he told me the news."

"Jordan..."

"You seem to forget how it was like for you Clary. I know you believe in second chances, but there are some people who don't even deserve a first chance!"

He seemed beyond pissed, but I couldn't hold it against him. He was the one who struggle to bring me out of this catatonic place I was. He had seen me in my worst state, and sure didn't want me to go back there. I knew that of all people, he was going to be the hardest to convince.

"Jordan, this is my only chance of family. I can't just turn my back on it, I have to try to make it work."

"You can make it work without _him_."

"I can't. You haven't seen how my Mom is lately. She's happy, more than she ever was. I can't take that happiness away from her."

"Do you think that if she knew..."

"Jordan please don't. Please, let me have what I never had the chance to experience."

"I won't say anything, it's not _my_ place to say it. But that won't stop me for ripping his face off if I see him." He looked at me in the eyes, making me understand that he really meant it. I decided to change the subject.

"I heard you got beat down by a girl Friday night."

He looked at me, evaluating if he should drop the subject.

"Well, I came to save a girl and bumped into another one. Someone I never thought I'd see again. Someone who had every right to want to kill me."

"Who would want to kill you?!"

"I broke her heart. I made her fall in love with me as I felt in love with her and I left when she needed me the most. I couldn't be here for her when she needed me when she had been here for me every time I was going down back to that crap. She helped me get better, and I left her without a single explanation."

"That doesn't look like you." Jordan was the sweetest and most caring person I knew.

"I was different back then. I left her because I didn't want to make her fall with me and eventually got myself into rehab and got to this person you know now. But this is not the person she remembers. "

"Well you should tell her. Just to avoid her to rip your head out next time she sees you."

He bursted in laughing before regaining his composure before the look I was giving him.

"Is Clary giving me love advise? Maybe you should tell that blond boy of yours what you feel instead of making him think that you're about to leave him."

"Jace doesn't think that I'm about to leave him, he knows how I feel."

"Make sure he does, because that didn't seem like it when I saw him. He was very confused about me driving your baby and stuff. You need to talk with him, tell him about who you are. You don't have to tell him everything in a flurry, but just talk. You don't talk enough with people Clary, listening doesn't build a real relationship."

I nodded, knowing how right he was. I knew that I needed to express my feelings toward Jace more vividly, but I didn't know how to do that. Jordan looked at the time and got up, saying he had to go to work. I accompanied him to the entrance door, and when he was about to leave he turned to face me.

"You do realize that now I will have to check up on you every now and then. You may think he changed, I know he didn't, it's not possible."

And with that he patted my hair and left, leaving me staring blankly into space. Then I closed the door and went to the kitchen to find my Dad cooking dinner.

"Your choice of friends is really ... interesting."

"Are you saying that because of the lack of girls?"

"No, I'm just stating that your friends are ... unusual."

"What do you mean?"

Suddenly a door got slammed and Christopher entered the kitchen, his face bloody, with a black eye and a cut on his lower lip. He limped to a chair while I looked at him horrified. I hopping that he didn't run into Jordan, and that his destroyed face wasn't Jordan's work. Valentine was fulminating and he looked down to his son before yelling:

"Another fight? What happened this time?"

"Jace happened!"

~.o.O.o.~

**Tadaaaaaaa ! The end of chapter 23. Hope liked it, and no I don't own any of the character. J-5. **

**So for those who had been wondering :**

**No Jace doesn't know that Christopher and Jonathan are the same person**

**No Luke did not disappear**

**Neither did Simon**

**Neither did Magnus**

**Yes, there is a suit to what happened at the club in chapter 1**

**No Valentine and Jocelyn didn't sleep in the same room **

**Yes there are going to be a loooooots of other chapters (but in five days there won't be any updates, you all know why!)**

**Anyway, if there is anything you'd like to know, don't hesitate to ask, **

**And cheleyk8, see no cheating! ;D. It was too obvious for me to do so. **

**Cheers**


	24. Chapter 24

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view. **

What did he mean by 'Jace happened'? How could Jace had happened? They barely spoke to each other. I think the only time they actually talked was when Jace learned about our father. Every time they had been in the same room since, they had been ignoring one another, even avoiding looking at each other. I didn't blame them, they were in an awkward situation, being raised by the same man without knowing it could be weird. What in the Hell could have happen for them to fight like that?

"What do you mean Jace happened?"

"I mean that I had a little disagreement with your boyfriend!"

"Little? Did you see your face? You look like you casted for _Fight Club!_"

He ignored me and got up to take a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer and put it on his black eye, his other looking at me. Valentine looked at him longly, despair (or disdain?) in his eyes before telling him:

"This can't keep happening! You said that you wouldn't get in any more troubles!"

"If you think I'll stand by while he sneaks into the house to take advantage of my sister, you're mad!"

Oh God, I was in so much trouble! I glared at Christopher, cursing him to the seven Hells! Our father slowly turned his attention from him to me, and I knew that he had all forgotten about Christopher coming home all bloody.

"What does he mean?" I opted for the truth, what was the point of lying anyway?

"He just means that Jace needed a place to crash yesterday night and so he slept here."

"Here? Here as in your bed?"

I thought that he was about to lose it. His eyes were like tennis balls and I saw a vein appear on his forehead.

"Yes, but I swear nothing happened. I swear that he didn't touch me." That's when Christopher decided to snarl and to intervene.

"He didn't touch? So how come you have bruises on your hips? You sure didn't have them yesterday evening!"

I looked down on my hips, and so did Valentine. How was I going to explain that? Never he would believe now with those bruises. I looked up to him, pleading him to believe me. I could feel stupid tears building in my eyes, but did my best to keep them in.

"I swear nothing happened last night! I swear! He just needed a place to stay! I swear he just slept! He didn't touch me!"

"Did he _hurt_ you?" Oh God, he looked like he was about to kill someone. _Literally_ kill someone.

"No! I swear. You have to believe me, nothing happened. We just slept one next to another. I swear."

"I believe you Clary."

I never felt so relieved in my life. He believed me. We were finally in this trusting father-daughter relationship. I sighed of relief and leaned against the counter, only realizing now that I had been shaking the whole time.

"Well _I_ don't believe it!"

"I don't care what you think Christopher!" I glared at him as he sat back. How in the Hell did he think he had the right to act all almighty about my love-life? He had no rights to it, and knew it very well. "The big brother card is no excuse to get into fights, with whomever it is!"

"I didn't start the fight..."

"_He_ threw the first punch?!"

Christopher nodded, and unconsciously, I looked at Valentine. His face was stolid, but I knew he was thinking nonetheless. I straightened up and went to my bedroom, angry with the whole world. Angry against Christopher for he had messed my life one more time. Angry against my Mom for she had left my father for no apparent reason, and put us in this mess we were living in now. Angry against Jace for not being able to control himself. But mostly, I was angry with myself. Angry that I let myself believe that I could be happy in this new life.

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view. **

"Jace? What happened to your face?"

Maryse looked at me, more worried than ever. She walked up to me and took me in her arms. I rested my head against her shoulder and let myself fall into her embrace. God, I wish she had been my Mom all along, I wish that I had been born in her family and had the simple life they had to offer.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Nothing. Just another fight with another punk."

She frowned and sat me down in the kitchen. I had come to put something from the freezer on my face but didn't move, even when she left. I couldn't stop thinking over and over of what happened earlier. Of him nagging me again and again on how I was not worth his sister's time, on how he wouldn't _allow_ her to come near me again (as if Clary needed permission to do what she wanted), on how I wasn't worth her love, and that anyway she didn't really love me. That's when I lost it. Him being so damn sure that she didn't love me hurt me more than I cared to admit. The way he said it was terrifying, it was as if he knew what she felt, what she thought. I couldn't understand how he could know her so well when he only knew her for more than a week. Maryse came back with a first aid kit and started taking care of my face.

"Does this have anything to do with Clary?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I couldn't stop thinking that they had hid from me something important. I felt that things could have been easier if the truth hadn't been hurled at my face.

"Because things are sometimes better left unsaid."

"What do you mean?"

"If Clary came here it was because the word was out that Valentine wasn't that dead after all. Her Mom wanted to flee, but Luke convinced her otherwise. Jocelyn put her daughter here in order to protect her from her father, in the same that we never talked about him to you in order to protect you. Valentine is not the man you think. He is charming and passionate but he is also rigid, cold, manipulative and extremist. Who was I to shutter the only father figure that you ever had by telling you that? You came here, and we took you in as one of our children. We loved you more than anyone could have. You are my son Jace, not Valentine's Godson, _my son_. I am the one who helped you grieve, I am the one who's always been there for you, the one who always be there."

She took me back in her arms, holding me tight against her. I hugged her back to make her understand that she always had been the Mom I never had, I just regretted that she hadn't been from the start. She removed herself and regained her composure.

"As for why we didn't tell you about Clary's lineage, it's because we weren't sure. She doesn't look like him, and Jocelyn never told anyone who was her father. For a moment I thought it was Luke, but he never recognized her as his daughter, so I knew it wasn't possible."

"Why did she leave him?"

"It's not my place to say. And even if it was, I wouldn't tell you. You're better off not knowing, trust me Jace, you don't want to know. Trust me."

I was about to argue when Izzy arrived in the kitchen, furious as can be.

"What was that I heard about you beating up Clary's brother?"

Maryse quickly left the kitchen, using Izzy's distraction to escape my questions. I glared at Izzy, furious that she allowed her to fly away like that when I was finally going to know more about Clary, about Valentine, about myself.

"He was being an ass, so I shut him up."

"He wasn't being an ass, he was being a big brother! You would have reacted the same way if you had known a guy spent the night in my room!"

"No I wouldn't have. That's the problem, he doesn't act like a normal brother should act."

"Of course he doesn't, he doesn't know how to be one! You were no better when you arrived. You didn't know how to act in society, you didn't know how to act with new siblings, you beat up almost every kid who talked to us in a way you didn't like. Why should Christopher be any different?"

I didn't answer to her, knowing that Christopher was actually the problem. I knew that if I stated that out loud, Izzy would kill me. She was so happy for Clary to have find a brother that she would kill anyone that endangered that situation of blooming.

"If you don't give him a chance, you will lose Clary for trying to ruin her relationship with her brother."

And with that she turned on her heels, flipping her hair in the way only her could do and she left the kitchen leaving me with this dreadful question: did I lost Clary?

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view.**

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Giving him a piece of my mind!"

There was no way in Hell I was going to let this pass. No matter what Christopher could have told him, he had no rights to start a fight with me. What was wrong with Jace lately? Between his savage kiss of last night and this fight, I had the impression that I didn't know him that well after all. Valentine closed the door and looked down on me.

"I don't think so."

"I'm not going to a make out session! I'm going to a yelling session."

"Maybe, but you're not going anywhere dressed like that." I looked down on myself, I was still in only my shirt. "And you're not driving your bike anywhere with this deluge outside."

I was about to retort that I knew very well how to drive under the rain, but thought better of it. If I saw him now, I might say things I would regret. I pulled off my helmet, realizing how ridiculous I might have been dressed with my boots, my shirt and my helmet. Valentine smiled at me and patted my hair.

"Oh, and by the way your Mom is back from her shopping."

At the news I ran upstairs to find my Mom in her room, surrounded by a strong smell of paint. The situation between her and Dad had been anything but normal. I knew she was staying here only because of Christopher and I. But I also saw how Dad was looking at her, if she had got over him, it wasn't mutual. And the more she was staying, the more she was giving him hope of a potential get back together.

"Hi honey. How are you doing?"

I shrugged, not really wanting to go in the details and sat at her feet, resting my head on her knees as I did so many times before.

"You father told me you had boy's problem."

"Did he now?" She chuckled.

"Not really. It was more a ' your son beat up Jace because that daughter of yours won't listen to me and let that vulture sleep in her bed'. See how all of the sudden your only my children."

She gently smiled and chuckled some more, never moving her eyes from her canvas, and I joined her in her chuckling.

"If this isn't a typical father-mother conversation, I don't know what it is."

"So what happened?"

"I don't know. Probably boys being boys."

"I mean last night?"

"Nothing. As I said he needed a place to crash, and I offered a pillow. That's it, nothing more."

"But why was he out so late?"

"I don't know. He said something about a bar so I guess he was out with friends and our house was closer than the Institute."

She didn't say anything, but I knew she had something else in mind. Slowly she put down her paintbrush and looked down at me. She seemed worried.

"Honey ... Be careful with him. I know you know how to protect yourself now, but the heart is something that cannot be fixed back together as easily as the body."

I frowned and buried my face in her stomach. She softly caress my hair humming the long lost lullaby that she always sang me. Suddenly a question came to my mind.

"Mom? Did you tell Dad?" She didn't answer directly and froze. I never spoke of the event with her. I had only told her because Jordan pushed me into it, and I never spoke of it again. And she respected my wish to forget by not asking me more about it, only hinting me sometimes. I raised my head to look at the green eyes that she had so nicely passed on to me.

"I had to. As a parent he had to know. But I made him promise not to bother you with that. He didn't, did he?"

"No. No he didn't. It's just that him being overprotective is understandable now." She approved and smiled to me.

"Everyone feels protective of you. You bring the best out of people. I'm not saying that because I'm your mother. I've seen it with Simon, with Luke. I see it now with Valentine. Never had I seen him acting the way he does with you. You're a little Angel for all of us, everyone who meets you wants to know you more, and some wants to live and die for you. Just like your brother or Jace. When I saw him last week he seemed as if a piece of him was missing. A piece called Clary. And every time he came by, when he left it was as if he was ripping his heart out of his chest." I blushed. God I did not expected my Mom to tell me such things. I hid my face in her lap and she chuckled.

"Don't be embarrassed honey, if he makes you happy there's nothing to say then."

"What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you happy in this new life?" I raised back my head when the silence became too long to see her frown.

"Of course I am happy. I have both of my children living with me."

"It's not what I meant."

"I know, but I am happy with my life now. Never I had thought I could come back and hear that my son fought in order to defend his sister's honor. Never I had thought I could have a normal meal with both of my children laughing and making jokes next to me. Never I had thought that I would hug goodnight my son and my daughter. Living all those moments that I had thought lost make me so happy that I cannot worry about anything else."

She was smiling while she was pouring her heart out to me, tears sparkling in her eyes. I smiled back at her, happy to see her glow like that, and then I hugged her telling her how much I loved her.

~.o.O.o.~** still Clary's point of view**.

"Come on Simon! I'm actually doing you a favor here!"

"Looks more like a death-trap to me! Last time I checked she wanted to rip my head off!"

"Well, last time I checked you deserved it, you were acting like a jerk!"

Simon looked down on his feet, but still shook his head no. We were sitting at Java Jones, having what used to be our usual after school coffee (except that I didn't go to school for I was still a bit pale according to my father). I growled of frustration seeing how hard is was going to be to bring Izzy and him back together.

"You do realize that I'm willing to be tortured in a mall in order to help your sorry ass. No is not an answer, you _will_ come with me, act like a gentleman, quibble at her feet and beg her forgiveness! I'm tired of hearing you saying that she was the best thing that ever happened to you. Man up!"

And without giving him a chance to say something, I texted Izzy.

_Guess what? I must be really sick, how about we meet at the mall in half an hour for a shopping session? C_

**I can't believe my eyes! Clary asking for shopping! I'll see you in front of VS in 30 minutes! I**

_VS? C_

**Victoria's Secrets! God, you really need to shop! I**

I smiled down on my phone, happy on how things were going.

"It's settled, you're coming to the mall with me."

I got up and swallowed the last sips of my coffee before telling him we should leave. He glared at me before looking at someone behind me.

"Fancy seeing you here Miss Fray. Have you decided to skip class to enjoy the delights of coffee?"

I turned my head only to find myself facing Sebastian. He had a playful expression gleaming in his eyes before he started laughing his ass off. I'm sure my face must had been hilarious giving the fact that I thought that it had been a professor scolding me for skipping.

"I wish I had taken a picture of your face! It was priceless!"

"Always happy to entertain you."

"So what are you up to?"

"I'm going to the mall with my friend Simon." I pointed Simon and they both nodded in recognition, making me roll my eyes. "You want to come along?"

"Sure."

It was perfect, now I had a perfect excuse to ditch Simon and Izzy all alone somewhere _before_ she makes us step into her cursed shop.

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view. **

Clary was ignoring me. Deliberately ignoring me. I had tried to call her all night long but she didn't pick up, she didn't pick up until the point where she hang up at the first ring, making me understand that she didn't want to speak me. I wanted to tell her what happened, but apparently she was already taking her brother's side. I shouted out of frustration and let myself fall on the bed. Why did she have to take his side? And why did I let my anger issues get the better of me? Why? Why? Why? I fell asleep, promising myself to explain it all to her the next day. I was certainly not going to let her brother get in our way.

But she never showed up in class. Her brother came, his face as bruised as mine but not her. Everyone was talking about our fight, taking party either with him, either with me. For an unknown reason, most of the girls thought that it was hot to have your boyfriend fighting your brother over you. I don't know how, but everyone knew that Clary was the reason of the fight, and even some people knew that I had spent the night at her house (fact that was one of the trigger-fight). I felt watched even more than usual, and I didn't like it. Worst, I knew that as soon as Clary would come back, she wouldn't like to be the center of the attention, especially when she did nothing to deserve it. Her brother didn't like the attention either. When he always had been charming with others (too charming to be true if you ask me), he was now snapping at anyone who would ask about the fight, or about Clary. And he wouldn't stop death staring at me, nagging me any chance he would get. It was like if he was asking for another round! All day long I had to fight against all my instincts not to go over him and punch him some more. I tried to stay focus, only thinking of Clary, of the way she would look at me if I punched again her brother.

After school, I went straight to my room to take my car keys. There was no way in Hell I was going to live another night with the incertitude of what might happen. I was on my way out when Izzy stopped me.

"You and I are going to the mall!"

"I'm on my way to do things more interesting than following you in every shop of the mall."

I passed before her and made my way to the parking lot. Izzy had followed me and was already sitting on the passenger sit, an evil grin on her face. Geez, this girl was decided to ruin my plans.

"Really? Like what?"

"I'm going to Clary's." She fainted a shock expression.

"You're going to have tea with Valentine and Christopher?"

"Are you insane? I'm going to see her."

"She's not there. She's at the mall, hence the you and I going to the mall."

I looked at her, doubtful. Clary going to the mall by herself was one of the sign of Judgement Day.

"Clary? Going to the mall?" She nodded, and I started to drive to the mall

"I must have a really strong influence on people! Soon I'll make her wear Victoria's Secrets, and you'll be thanking me!"

"I don't spend that much time focusing on her underwear Izzy."

"You will, once I'll manage to get her into the shop. I'll make her wear something you like. Something pink and black, very lacy..."

"Izzy can you stop scaring me! It is creepy how you know my taste in lingerie."

"I didn't, I only guessed. Anyway, before all that funny business, we have to get Clary to forgive your moment of madness..."

"It wasn't..."

"I don't care how you see it Jace, if you want her back, you better make amend. You disfigured her brother for no reasons, it's not something I would easily forgive, nor forget."

For no reasons... I had plenty of reasons to rearrange his face, it's just I didn't gave them to her. We drove silently the rest of the way, and once in the mall, Izzy pulled me to the meeting place. On the way she kept repeating that I should be nice to Clary (as if I didn't know). Once we were in front of the shop (Victoria's Secret, of course, Izzy always knew how to be 'subtle'), she told me that Clary didn't know that I was coming, and therefore I should jump on her throat. God she made me feel like I was 3, and she was my Mom, scolding me to behave. Finally I spotted from afar, but what I saw made me frown and clench my fists in my pocket. She was between Simon and Sebastian, laughing her head off with them. Why was she with Sebastian? Simon I could understand he was her best friend, but Sebastian, she barely knew him! They looked like this friends trio in the movies, happy as can be in their little bubble. Izzy grabbed my shirt, and only then I realized that I was walking toward them. I was devastated. Devastated by the fact that she was laughing so freely with them. When was the last time she had been so openly happy with me? It seemed like never. Suddenly she spotted us, and her eyes narrowed going from Izzy to me. She was definitely not happy to see me. The three of them stopped in front of us in an awkward silence. While I was only looking at her, Clary was looking everywhere _but_ in my eyes. Izzy broke the silence.

"So it's a double set up?"

"Maybe. Will you talk to Simon?"

"I will listen to what he have to say."

I detached my attention from Clary to snap my head in Izzy's direction. Giving a guy a second chance didn't look like her. Clary pushed Simon in her direction.

"Good, see you later then."

And she left. She left, dragging _Sebastian_ with her and leaving _me_ behind! Izzy stopped her and asked about me.

"Clary! What about Jace?"

"I don't want to talk to him right now."

** ~.o.O.o.~**

**Poor Jace! Clary threw in his face! But who knows, maybe it's for the best. Maybe she was meant to end up with Sebastian, and Jace was just someone before... Who knows?**

**Anyway, hope you liked this chapter, and yes I still didn't explained what really happened between Jace and Christopher, but that's for next chapter. You'll see. **

**You know that I own nothing, nothing new here**

**Cheers**


	25. Chapter 25

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view**.

Okay, that was mean of me. Really mean, but I couldn't talk to him just yet. I didn't want to talk as I always did, before thinking what might come out of my mouth. Words could be powerful weapons, and I didn't want to hurt Jace by misusing them.

"So, what's up with you and Jace?"

Damn, I had almost forgotten about Sebastian. We were in the record dealer's shop, and he was looking through some old vinyls.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on Clary, the whole school has been talking about it today. About your brother and Jace having a big fight in the parking lot over if he should date you or not."

God, all I needed, more publicity about my personal life! One more reason why this 'fight' was just crazy.

"I don't know, I wasn't there!"

"So you're not going to see Jace's side of the story?"

"There is no sides, just the fact that they fought. What are we? Cavemen? Couldn't they just talk?"

"Jace doesn't talk that much. Nor get involve that much in a relation. I should know, I've known him since he moved in with my cousins. All I know is that if he fought, it's because he had a good reason. Maybe not valid to you, but it was to him."

"Still, that doesn't give him the right to..."

"No that doesn't give him any right, but you don't have the right either to hold the grudge against him without hearing what he has to say to you." He looked over my shoulder and smiled to me. "Maybe I should go back home."

And then he left. I turned to watch him leave only to spot Jace. He looked at me through the window, and I decided to listen to Sebastian and just try to let go of my anger. It wasn't fair of me to be so almighty about the whole situation when I didn't know what had really happened. Christopher could say all he wanted about it, I knew that he wasn't telling the whole truth. I walked to Jace, seeing in his eyes feelings that I hoped never to see. Despair, anxiety and apprehension. What was he thinking? That I was leaving him?!

"Back on stalking me I see."

"Old habits die hard."

I saw his hand twitch to touch my face, but he restrained himself, still looking at me in the eyes, afraid of what I might say. He wasn't in such a bad shape compared to Christopher. He only had a big bruise on the right corner of his mouth.

"So,what happened?"

"I got into a fight with your brother."

"I figured. What I don't understand is why you threw the first punch."

"To shut him up. I couldn't stand by while he was bad-mouthing us. I won't repeat what he said, I won't say I'm sorry, I won't say I won't do it again. I just hope that you know in your heart that I didn't do it to hurt you. I could never hurt you. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I hurt you."

Damn, this was not supposed to happen like that! _I_ was supposed to be yelling at him, and make him feel bad. And now, I was the one feeling bad and guilty about not letting him talk to me earlier. I took his face in my hands, not able to see any longer this sad face of his. God, how I was weak when it came to Jace, I hoped that never he would find out how much I had fell for him, how much I was under his spell.

"God, you're unbelievable! When I'm supposed to be mad at you, you manage to make me ... all ... I can't even find the words!"

"Then don't talk!"

And he kissed me. There, in the middle of the mall, he kissed me, at the sight of everyone, making me melt into him as every time he did.

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view. **

Nothing had happened as I had hoped. Nothing until she took my face in her hands, love shining in her eyes. I saw her struggle to say the words, the words I hopelessly yearned to hear, the words that seemed to always die before she could say them. But I kissed her nonetheless, very well aware of what she was feeling. I cupped her face and brought her closer to me, delighted by the fact that she wrapped her hands around my neck, closing the gap between us. I growled in her mouth, too happy to taste her and I broke our kiss before getting too exited. I kept her fragile tiny head in my hands, leaning my forehead against hers, looking in her big green emeralds.

"Clary, at the risk of repeating myself, I can't lose you. I love you too much to lose you!"

"And as I already told you, you don't have to lose me. I'm right here, right now. I'm with you."

I smiled to her and took her delicate hand in mine, never breaking our gaze.

"I think that our first date is overdue, so what do you want to do?"

"You want to take me on a date?"

She seemed chocked and suspicious of my statement, and a little frightened too. As if it was the first time someone ever asked her that.

"Of course I do. Isn't it normal for me to want to take my girl out?"

"On top of the world."

"What?"

"Take me to the top of the world." She smiled to be, sparks of tease in her eyes, before bursting into laughter, jerking her head back. "I'm kidding Jace, I'm not that cliché! I just want to go back to the rooftop."

"The rooftop it is then."

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view. **

I couldn't believe that I was back in the Institute as a resident, and not only a student. But mostly I couldn't believe that I was back on the rooftop with Jace, his arms wrapped around me, shielding me against the freezing wind. His nose was buried in my neck, kissing it from times to times while I was admiring the city. This place right there, right then felt just perfect, it felt as it should always have been. The lights of the traffic were dancing before our eyes as the buildings were lightening like Christmas trees.

"I love this place, it is so peaceful, so beautiful. No matter when, the view is always breathtaking."

"I'm certainly not going to argue on that."

I knew he was referring to me, trying to make a compliment, but I couldn't help but roll my eyes. It's just that I knew that I was ... normal. There was nothing beautiful about me. Nothing except maybe my eyes.

"I mean it Clary. You _are_ beautiful." How was he able to always know what I was thinking? "Like your hair, they're a living proof of the rightful fire twirling within you." He undid my pony tail, setting my wild hair free. "And your skin. It's so white that it makes you look like a china doll. A perfect china doll that only calls for everlasting kisses." He kissed my neck, turning me a little for me to face him. "And your freckles, they're here to torture me for all I want to do is touch them endlessly." He cupped my face in his hands, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs. "And your eyes. Oh, your eyes! I swear every time I meet them, I just want to get lost in them, swimming in this green ocean of yours!" His eyes were locked on mine, even though I didn't know how I managed to still be able to keep them open. Each of his words made me melt a little more to him. How was I still standing? That was a mystery. "And your pulpous pink lips. Where do I even begin?"

He bent down to kiss me. Softly, gently, only brushing his lips against mine, before he took us to another level. I fisted his hair, and he pulled me up, making me wrap my legs around him. I loved the way our bodies always fitted perfectly together, no matter what the position we were in, it always came out perfect. I opened my mouth, begging him to do the same and moaned when our tongues started struggling for power. I felt one of his hand leaving my butt to find its way under my shirt while I was deepening our kiss. It was like I could never have enough of him. It was like he was fire, and I was ice, always melting under his touch. When he started kissing my neck, I moaned out his name, making him growl of pleasure. And then my phone rang. I unhappily got down from his arms and looked at the time on my phone as I looked at the caller ID.

"Shit, I didn't see the time pass! I'm suppose to be home by now!"

I picked up, answering my Mom while he took me in his arms, resting in my neck and playing with my skin. This was going to be a long call!

"Mom? I'm sorry I didn't pay attention at the time."

"It's okay, honey. I just wanted to know if I should set you a plate. It's almost dinner."

He wouldn't stop kissing my neck, making it hard for me to focus, and harder to not moan while I was on the phone with my _Mom_. As I was about to tell her that I was on my way, he whispered in my ears "please stay." God, he made me shiver of pleasure just by saying those two simple words!

"Um, I was wondering?"

"Yes?"

"Can I stay at Izzy's tonight? There's a lot of catching up to do."

I didn't really lie. I would stay at Izzy's, and I would catch up, not with Izzy for say, but that my Mom didn't need to know.

"Well, you know it's okay with me ... But your father, he's still not over the Tuesday-night thing yet... Oh and to Hell with him, you're only young once. Just be _careful_."

"I know, I know don't worry."

She hang up, telling me she loved me while I was realizing that I still haven't told her about the 'evolution' of Jace and I relationship. But even if I shared everything with her, it stillfelt weird to have that talk with my Mom. He'll I still haven't told Simon! Jace's hands started slowly going up my chest while he was still kissing my neck. I swear he was going to make me die of melting!

"You do realize that this is our last time together?" That earned to make him stop abruptly.

"What? Why?"

"Because tomorrow I will be a dead person." He chuckled in my ear before resuming his kissing.

"Then I will bring you back from the dead."

"You want me to be a zombie? Ew, you're taste in the matter of woman is really questionable. Maybe I should leave."

And with that, I pretended to leave, not looking behind me. He grappled me when I was at the door, making me turn and caging me against it.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Home." He smiled and leaned forward to me.

"What about the you not having a drive to get there?"

"I'll walk, it is very healthy and it's good for the planet." He leaned even closer, making our foreheads touch.

"What about the 'it's really late, you shouldn't walk all alone in the streets of a town such as New York'."

"I'm a big girl, I can handle myself." For a fraction of second, he frowned, before starting to kiss my jaw line. Slowly, so slowly that the butterflies on my stomach seemed to increase at each time his lips touched my skin.

"What about the you're supposed to sleep here."

"I'll ... I'll ... say I ch...changed my mind."

How fair was that? How could be so steady, when I was trembling all over the place? Even my voice was shaking! I felt him smile against my skin before placing his hand on my back and closing the microscopic gap between us. Then he kissed my neck, all the way down to my collarbone, making me bite my lips in order not to moan.

"What about the you not wanting this to stop."

"God, kiss me already!"

I was so weak! But how was I supposed to resist to that? He kissed me, caging my head in his hands and pushing me against the door, which lead to me moaning and him planting his fingers in my skin while holding me tighter. I cupped his face, intertwining my fingers in his hair and brought him even closer to me (if that was possible).

"We better stop before this gets out of hand."

Why was he always the one so serious? He was barely moved by what happened. He was hardly panting when I was literally out of breath. How could I affect him so little when I was already ready for him to take me right then and right there.

We went to the kitchen and ate alone, Izzy being still out with Simon (good for them, they finally made up!) and Alec being probably at Magnus'. Once we were done eating, I went to Izzy's bathroom in order to have a shower, after having to refuse his insinuations of coming with me to 'rub my back' as he put it. I made the shower last as much as possible, trying to calm myself, to think of something else that Jace and the feelings he brought out of my body and heart. I managed to take my mind off of him by putting shampoo in my eyes. When you are clumsy, it's for life. I got out of the shower in screaming pain, my eyes crying like a baby. I quickly wrapped myself in a towel and was on my way out when a voice stopped me.

"Clary?"

I turned only to see Alec looking at me with a shocked expression. Shock that quickly turned into worry when he paid attention to me, his eyes lingering on my red eyes and on my bruised tights.

"Are you alright? Did someone hurt you?" Why was everyone so concerned on me being hurt lately?

"No. I just stupidly put shampoo in my eyes."

He nodded and put his hands in his pockets, leaning against the frame of the bathroom door, not caring about me being almost naked, only covered by a towel.

"So I guess you being here means that you made up with Jace."

"You could say that."

Talking with Alec always felt weird. I knew he was a good listener, but I couldn't really read into him and know what he was thinking, and that was frustrating.

"You know he does care about you a lot. Even though he doesn't like your brother. Not at all."

"He told you that?"

"Not in so many words, but I'm sure even you could tell."

No, I couldn't! I just thought they felt weird about each other, not that they didn't like each other. But not that I came to think of it, it would explain their behavior. Why couldn't they just get along?

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view. **

Clary took forever to have her shower. How long could a girl spend in a bathroom? Izzy was definitely changing her. When she arrived here she would spend five to ten minutes in the bathroom, now she has been in there for at least 45 minutes. I was going to Izzy's to know what was taking her so long when I saw her living a bedroom in her towel. She came to me, radiant as can be, but her eyes haunted by something, and she kissed me while intertwining her fingers in mines.

"Missed me?"

I smiled to her and we went to my room. Once alone, I gave her a shirt to put on as she asked me.

"Or you could stay as you are, I won't mind, promise."

"You wish." Once she had the shirt on, she sat on the bed, and let herself fall back on it, her hands on her eyes. "God life is complicated!"

"What do you mean?"

"You know this mess we're in. My father, my Mom, my 'brother', _us_. It feels all ... unreal."

"Unreal? It doesn't feel unreal to me. _You_ feel real!"

Where was she going with this nonsense? She sat back, her green eyes scanning me.

"How? How can you? We just met like yesterday. Your past, my past, it's all fucked up! And on top of that, you'll never get along with my family. It's just ... fucked up." She shook her head, waving her marvelous hair and looking down. I walked to her and sat next to her.

"And where is this conversation is going?"

"I don't know. I'm just saying that..."

"... That what? There's nothing to say. Yes the situation is fucked up, but why should we care? I don't see the problem. There's nothing wrong with what we feel! There's nothing wrong at all! I love you and that's it!"

"Me too."

She had murmured it, almost making me doubt she had said it. Almost. And that was the most exiting she could have tell me. In less than a second I had her face in my hands, kissing her with all my love and laying her against the bed. She responded instantly, crushing me against her and locking her legs around me. Our kiss was fire-like, transmitting all the passion we had. Quickly I found my way to her breast with my hand, getting rid of her shirt blocking the way. She gasped my name when I started playing with her nipple, and I got rid of my trousers in no time. I couldn't stop moaning her name as she arched herself to me, grinding against me.

"God Jace, I want you! I can't wait!"

I took a condom and put it on, kissing her like a mad man, and when I finally entered her, we screamed of pleasure together. At each thrust I gave, she moaned louder, biting her lips in order to keep it to herself and sending me a little bit closer to the edge each time. I kept on going in her, going harder each time she screamed my name, and I growled her name when we reached our climax. I kissed her, and told to her the truth of my heart:

"I love you so much."

~.o.O.o.~ still Jace's point of view.

The following morning, Izzy reaped her away from me (how did she know she had spent the night? Mystery), and so I only saw her back in class, talking to her brother. Arguing with him more like it. As soon as I entered the classroom, he glared at me, his face still bashed out. Clary followed his gaze and when she saw me, she briefly smiled to me before going back to her brother, snapping her fingers in front of his face. She shushed him something that made him look down in shame and then she came to sit next to me.

"What was that all about?"

"You turning me into a shameless girl."

I grinned, hiding my shock. They didn't seem like the kind of siblings that talked about this kind of things. Sure he would happily trash my face, but I always thought that the sex talk was something they never really had, or would have. Just the fact that she would think twice to make sure her words were insinuation-free when he was around made me think of their sibling relationship as a prude one. I snapped back to the reality and focused on what was happening at the giving instant.

"Do I now?"

"According to them. But we all know that's not true." I smiled to her and she frowned before adding. "By the way, my Dad is going to pick me up tonight."

Oh, this sounded bad. I was a dead man. Of course he would think that what was bound to happen would happen. But that didn't mean he would like it. Nor that he would let me live another day knowing what I've done to his daughter.

The day passed way too quickly to my liking. Before I knew it I was walking with Clary to the front of the Institute. Valentine was waiting for her against his Mercedes, his eyes lingering on our intertwined fingers. She kissed me goodbye, and when she walked to him, he opened her the door, not saying a single word, nor glancing at me even once. Then he went into his car and they left. I stayed there a moment, looking to the empty space where the car was a few minutes ago and I made my way back into the Institute.

"Jace!"

I turned my head to see Raziel running to me. Once at my level he bent, his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. I didn't like the idea of his presence. Raziel being here only meant that Seelie had done something. _Again_. That little bitch!

"I got a new lead about Meliorn."

"Meliorn?"

"That blue haired guy about ... _that_ party." Oh, that creep who wanted to roofy my sister and rape her under my nose. That little creep that Clary stopped me from beating up. He was still going to get it though.

"What about him?"

"Not him, but I heard that it's not Seelie who has her hand on the traffic. She's just a tool."

"Who has then?"

"A certain Jonathan. Apparently he has his hands on almost every drug supply in town."

Jonathan. Why did that name kept on haunting me? Could it be that it was the same one as the one that had raped Clary?

"Did you ever saw him?"

"No. I'm not crazy like you, going around to beat people up! I just came to tell that your crusade against Seelie isn't worth it anymore."

"If you say so."

~.o.O.o.~

**And there was chapter 25(I think). Hope you liked it. Slowly but surely we're getting to the DISCOVERY. What would be Jace's reaction? What is he going to do? **

**I know this chapter was a bit cheesy, but I do have to let them have it sometimes. Plus finally Clary said it back, because poor Jace, it wasn't really fair for him. **

**I also wanted to thank you for reviewing, you have no idea how cool it is to wake up and find in your mail box reviews about your story. **

**And don't worry the story is far from over! I have at least 15 to 20 chapters sure in my mind (maybe more if I feel inspired) **

**Of course, everything still belongs to Cassandra Clare (but promise if it changes, I'll let you know!)**

**Cheers. **


	26. Chapter 26

~.o.O.o.~** Clary's point of view**.

Valentine didn't say a thing during the whole journey. He didn't seem angry as I thought he would be, which surprised me. Usually the mere mention of Jace made him loses his temper, and now he was as calm as a sleeping river. When I thought that Christopher said that him and Mom argued all diner long because of my sleepover, and now, he wasn't even mentioning it. More he was staying silent, more it was frightening me. His silence only felt like the calm before the storm. Suddenly I realize we weren't on our way home.

"Where are we going?"

"I want you to see someone."

He didn't say anything else until he pulled in front of Mount Sinai Hospital. I quizzically looked at him, but he just shook his head and told me to follow him. I did, unsure of what was about to happen and after walking through the hospital for five minutes, he opened a door. In the room was a teenager laying on the bed. His eyes were closed, making him look like he was peacefully sleeping, and he was on a drip.

"Who is that?"

"Someone who had the bad luck to be on Jace's path."

"Jace did that?"

"Yes, Jace put him in the coma."

Jace put someone in the coma!? That wasn't possible. It wasn't Jace. Okay he was impulsive, but putting someone in the coma was beyond impulsivity, it was madness. I couldn't say a single world for I was so shocked by what I just learned. This was a side of Jace I had hoped never to see or know of. We went back home in silence, me being still astonished by what I've learned and not knowing what to do with this information. When Valentine cut down the motor, he didn't get out immediately, looking carefully at me.

"Clary, I know you believe in second chances, but sometimes, people don't deserve them." I sarcastically sighed at his statement. Twice in forty eight hours I had been told that. But what about me? What about me having a second chance of family by forgiving Christopher? What about me having a second chance in life through Jace? What about me?

"What about me?"

"What, what about you?"

"What about me having a second chance to be normal with Jace?"

"What do you mean?"

I gave him a look, telling him with my eyes that he knew very well what I meant before quickly looking away. It was the first time I was acknowledging to someone how much the 'event' had affected me. Looking through the side-window, I explained him how much Jace was important to me, pouring my heart out like I haven't done so in a long time.

"You have no idea how much I need him. No one does, not even him. He helped going through ... He helped me get better without even knowing it. Without him, I'd still be in that state where I barely talked to people, barely noticed them unless they got too close, barely lived. Without him, I'd still be hiding under baggy cloths, sarcastic remarks and elusive eyes. Without him I wouldn't be the person you know right now, I'd only be a shell. He filled me back with life. And now you want me to throw him away because of his past? I can't do that. I can't because he took me with my own past, not caring about it, healing it all along. I can't because I selfishly need him, more than I'll ever care to admit."

He didn't say anything, not interrupting once. I felt his gaze on me and turned to look at him in the eyes. He was sad and concerned. He slowly raised his hand and fatherly caressed my hair, a weak smile on his face.

"I told you to beware of men."

"I told you that I will. Never he will hear me saying what I just told you. But _you_ have to know that I will be hopeless without him."

He heaved and passed his hand on his face. Then he patted my head and asked me to get off of the car. I did, and went home when I turned, surprised by him not following me.

"You're not coming?"

"No, I have to talk to Jace."

"You're not going to kill him?!"

"After what you told me? I don't think so. I promise everything will be okay." I sighed in relief and started walking back home when he hailed me. "Oh and Clary? Thank you for opening your heart to me."

~.o.O.o.~ Jace's point of view.

Jonathan. This fucking ghost was everywhere and nowhere in the same time. How could everyone from the underground know his name, but not his face? It's not like he was walking around with a mask or with as much make-up as the Joker, was he? How could every one know of his deeds but couldn't tell you anything more. It's barely if you knew his name. A whisper here and there. And pouf, he disappears into thin air before you knew it. I wanted to confront Clary about him, but I knew that if I did so, she would probably shut me off. I couldn't risk that, not for that asshole! I already almost lost her because of her brother, it wasn't going to completely lose her because of a ghost from her past. I was on my bed, staring with intensity the ceiling and trying to refrain my envy to get up and do everything to find him. I had to think rationally or they would be dead blood on my hands. Not that I cared if I killed him, he deserved to die, but what would Clary think if I killed someone? She was this Saint Angel who forgives everyone and gives absolution as you give candy. She wouldn't bear me killing someone when she didn't hold the grudge anymore. But what if she was willing to make him suffer? To make him pay? God, why wouldn't she ever talk to me about it? What was she afraid of? I closed my eyes and put my hands on them, trying to figure her out. How was she feeling toward this? If only I knew Simon better, I could have ask him! And it's not like I could ask Izzy to ask him, she was more dangerous than me in that matter. She was the one who insisted to go after that punk of Meliorn after she learned what he had try to do to her. She wanted to kill the minion, and I wanted to kill the problem at the core, hence me being so interested in what that Seelie bitch was doing. Someone knocked at my door but I send them off. I wasn't in the mood to have a conversation with anyone. The door still opened, and I knew it was Izzy. Only Izzy wouldn't listen when you would tell her to fuck off.

"Izzy, get the f..." I had sat up, and I was staring at Valentine. "What do you want?" He came to kill me in my room, and he would pretend I chocked in my sleep or something. He closed the door and walked to the chair before turning it to my bed and sitting on it.

"Evening Jace."

"What do you want?"

"Talk."

I didn't like the sound of that. Why did he want to talk if he was about to kill me? He was viciously playing with my nerves, giving me the hope of survival.

"Talk about what?"

Maybe, just maybe, he wanted to talk about his 'departure'. Maybe this was nothing Clary related. Maybe he really thought she spent the night with Izzy.

"Clary." Of course... Like I said, I was a dead man.

"What about Clary?"

"You do realize that me being her father, her being my daughter, her having spent so many nights under the same roof as you, I have some questions."

"Like what?" I stayed stoic even though I was feeling like my last hour had come.

"Like how far have you gone with my daughter Jace?"

His eyes were steady, not reflecting a single emotion. He knew I was going to say the truth, after all he was the one who raised me to be always honest. He already knew the answer, I could tell by the way his muscles stiffened under his shirt, but for some reason he wanted me to say it out loud.

"As far as it can get." He clenched his jaw, and I backed up a bit. If I could avoid being beat up twice in the same week by a member of her family, it would be great.

"So when she said you didn't touch her Tuesday night..."

"She told the truth. I didn't. I was not going to touch her when her whole family was sleeping next door!"

"What about the bruises on her tights?" God, how was I going to explain that?

"That ... That's not what you think."

"I'm not thinking anything, I just want an explanation on how my daughter got hurt." What? Was he crazy? Me hurting Clary? The one thing I couldn't do even if my life depended on it!

"I didn't hurt her! Who do you take me for? I could never hurt Clary!"

"Good." His eyes were still on me, analyzing whatever he was seeing. "I had a long talk with her today. A really deep talk about you. And I know that it will seem coming from nowhere, but I want to thank you."

"You want to what?"

"I want to thank you because today my daughter opened up her heart to me thanks to you. She confided to me, in a way I had never hoped her to do. Let's face it, we've only known each other for two weeks, I'm no fool, I know it was hard for her to see me fully as her father. But today, she talked to me as her Dad, and for that, I am grateful to you."

God, Clary was really amazing. Never yet I had heard Valentine say thank you, or talking from the heart on the spot like that. She had changed him just like she had changed me. But what was I suppose to answer to that?

"So, I decided to put aside what I know of you, and to do like Clary, to give you a second chance. She trusts you, and I believe in her. So I will give you a chance to prove yourself to her, to prove yourself to me."

This seemed to be going somewhere, somewhere good where at least her father wouldn't try to break us apart. I held my breath, not allowing myself to believe what was happening quite yet. Valentine got up and put back the chair at its place (and after people wondered why I was so maniac, they hadn't seen the man who raised me!).

"You have five minutes to get dressed in order to have diner with my family, nothing fancy. I'll be waiting for you outside."

Wait what? He was already out when I truly understood what he had said. He was inviting me over! I swallowed harshly, already feeling sick of this idea. Clary was right, our situation was fucked up. I was about to have dinner at my girlfriend's with her father (who happened to be my deserting Godfather) and her brother that I despised. At least her Mom was alright.

Once we were in front of their house, I felt that situation couldn't get more awkward. Well give it to Valentine to always push the awkwardness to the next level. Just before opening the door, he turned to face me.

"Jace. Just to make it clear, you are not to touch her again."

"You want me to retrain myself for kissing her?"

"No I want you to keep it in your pants! If you love her like Jocelyn says you do, you'll learn abstinence! I want you to promise me that."

"I promise."

"If I have the slightest doubt that you didn't keep your word, you will never see her again!"

"I said I promised. What do you want? A blood signed pact?"

He frowned and entered the house shouting 'I'm home'. Clary's Mom popped out of the kitchen to greet him, her hands in a napkin. The way they acted was weird. They weren't a couple that was obvious, but they weren't estranged either. The way Valentine was looking at her was ... something I've never seen. He loved her. He really _loved_ her. Maybe as much as I loved their daughter. And I could see why. She was a ray of sun, glowing of happiness. Yesterday night, Clary had told me that she never had seen her mother so happy, and I could see it now. I understood what she meant when she told me that the only love that could overcome everything was a mother's love.

"Oh, you brought _company_. Clary will be glad to see that. She's in the garden if you want to see her Jace."

Valentine turned to me, telling me sigh his eyes 'Don't forget what I said', and I left them to go in the garden. She was laying in the bench, softly swaying it. I came closer to her when she said:

"I told you to leave me alone Christopher! You rubbing it in my face is not helping!"

"Good thing I am not him then."

She snapped her eyes, slowly turning her head to me. When she finally realized I was here, in front of her, she got up, her eyes never leaving mines, scanning my soul. Why did this whole family had to have the possibility to see through you like that? I was about to kiss her when she backed away.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was invited by your father." Surprised gleamed in her eyes. "But you don't seem really happy to see me."

"I am. I am happy beyond words that you are here and that it's not a problem for my Dad. But ..."

"But?" Her eyes were sad and angry in the mean time.

"How could you have put someone into the coma?" God, how did she find out about this? I sat on the bench, my head in my hands while she stood still in front of me.

"I beat him up. I beat him up two years ago and he had been in the coma ever since. I know you want to hear me say that I'm sorry, but I'm not. I would do it all over again if I had to. Maybe I'd think twice before, but I'd still end beating the jerk down to the ground."

I raised my head to look at her. Her expression hadn't change, and that's when I saw Valentine in her. Maybe she had all physical features of her Mom, but this way to hold her emotions down, where no one could see it, it was Valentine. She looked down on me, not saying anything, barely breathing, her face stoic.

"I did it because he almost killed my brother. He put Max in the hospital because he couldn't care less about what was around him. We almost lost him. My baby brother almost died in our arms because this idiot couldn't hold his drink and had the stupid idea of driving drunk! If the situation were to happen again, I would do the same thing. I'm like that Clary. If you hurt my family, I hurt you back. You have no idea how much I want to hurt every person who ever did you wrong. The fight I had with your brother is a perfect example. Maybe he pushed me into it, but if I fought, it's mostly because I wanted to hurt him. I know he did something Clary. I see it how you're always stiff around him, how you're always more conscious when he is around, how you don't like being alone with him, even when you're going in his car. I don't know what he did to you, but he still did it."

Finally her mask broke, to show worry and panic. Then she shook her head, her mask back on.

"You're wrong. _Christopher_ never did anything wrong. It's just ... all new to us this sibling things and I don't know what to say or do when my brother is around. You're imagining things." She smiled down to me, hoping that I would drop it. I did, but didn't believe her when she said that he didn't do anything wrong. She bent down to kiss me, softly, gently, like a caress on my lips and then she laid next to me, resting her head on my knees.

"So we actually both made it through! I thought that one of us would be dead by sundown!"

"You have no idea how freaked out I was when I saw him in my room! I thought he was going to kill me with my pillow!" She frowned, her hands up in the air, playing with her fingers.

"No, my Dad wouldn't do that. He's a good man. I know you don't believe that with him abandoning you, but I believe him when he said it was for the best." Clary and her habit on seeing good in everyone! Valentine was right, this was part of her. "In a way, I think you're more alike than you'd like to admit. You have the same way of caring for those who matters to you. The same fire in your eyes when you're looking at your loved one. You're more like him than Christopher is. He just looks like him, when you, you talk, walk and even get angry just like him. The way you look at me, it feels the same way he looks at my Mom. In a way, I guess it's true what they say about a girl falling for a copy of her father."

She put her hands down, looking at me, a bit wary about what she had said. I smiled to her, caressing her hair.

"I didn't really hear anything beside you saying that you fell for me."

"Your ears must have a problem. I didn't fall for you. In fact I don't even like you! What am I doing here on your laps! Let go you creep."

She sat back, pretending to leave and I held her tighter while she was bursting in laughter. God, how I loved hearing her laugh like that. She was laughing, free of any pressure she could feel, just making her crystalline voice echo of pure glee. She was standing in my arms, and looked down on me, love and happiness all over her face. I couldn't resist, and I kissed her. Passionately kissed her bringing her closer to me until she sat on my laps, her hands on my face while mines were on her back.

"Clary diner's read... What is _he_ doing here?"

She cursed under her breath, apparently not really happy by her brother's interruption or statement, and stood up before going back in the house, holding me by the hand.

"Dad invited him. Is there a problem somewhere?"

"_Dad_ invited _him_?"

"That's what I just said." He looked at us, his eyes full of something that looked like jealousy (but why would he be jealous?).

"Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?"

She hesitated a moment (what did I say about her not liking to be alone with him), and nodded. I kissed her on the lips before going to the kitchen where I found her parents in an awkward situation. It's not like they were kissing, but almost. Why did it have to fall on me? No one wants to see his girlfriend's parents making out! And even less, breaking the moment of a possible patch up. This was something I would _never_ tell Clary. Her Mom was beyond embarrassed, blushing like a tomato (just like her daughter) before she turned to face the stove. I sat in front of an empty plate, pretending like nothing ever happened and looking with too much intensity at the round table.

"Where's Clary?"

"In the garden. Talking to Christopher."

Valentine left the kitchen and came back a few seconds later with his children, avoiding to look at Jocelyn or myself. Good I didn't want to add anymore awkwardness to the situation. Her mother served the dinner : a vegan moussaka, while Clary was sitting between her father and I. We started eating in an awkward silence when her mother broke the silence.

"So Jace, Clary told me you initiated her to boxing."

Initiated? When I saw her punch the bag I had thought that it was something that she already had done. She had held herself properly, holding her fists to her face, straightening her back, never leaving her gaze off the bag.

"Yes, you could say that. She has a pretty strong punch. It's a bit scary coming from such a tiny person."

"Tiny yourself!"

Her Mom chuckled along with her brother. Even Valentine smiled, which was not to Clary's liking.

"Oh, but don't laugh! It's all your fault if I'm microscopic. _You_" she pointed her brother with her fork. "for taking all the tall genes. And _you_ "she pointed her parents this time "for having me in second place and holding back all those tall genes that the whole family had inherited but me!" I chuckled, biting my lips to restrain myself of laughing out loud. "And _you_ better stop laughing if you want to live 'til tomorrow." I raised my hands in surrender and hasten myself to put something in my mouth to stop laughing. Silence came back, less awkward, but her Mom had decided not to let it last.

"She also told us about your music abilities. How many instruments can you play?"

"Five." I turned my head to Valentine, as did the rest of the family. Sure, everyone had forgotten for a moment that he was the one who raised me for the first ten years of my life. "Unless you learned a new instrument on the way." I shook my head no, feeling the awkwardness coming back. This dinner would never end quick enough. Clary tried to drift away the conversation.

"It was with Jace that I had my first tattoo."

"Oh, so you're the one who gave her the virus?" For once her Mom looked like a mother. She was about to say something when Valentine cut her off.

"Come on Jocelyn, we had our first tattoo when we were younger than them." Clary looked at her Mom with tennis-balls eyes.

"You have a tattoo! How come I never saw it!" I elbowed her and when she realized why she couldn't have seen it she blushed so hard, that her face matched her hair.

"That's not the point. It was a different time, different way to think. I had Christopher at 18, it doesn't mean she should have children at eighteen."

Valentine let his fork fall in his and Christopher spit back his drink. But the one who reacted the most strongly was Clary. She mis-swallowed and almost chocked on her food. She coughed for what seemed forever and when she finally emerged, she was red as a tomato.

"Mom! This is so out of place! Me? Having kids!" She shuddered and turned angrily to me. "And you, why aren't you saying anything!?"

"Because being the father of your children is not something I would mind to be, on the contrary." A silence fell after that, and I just realized that I just admitted to my girlfriend that I wanted her to bare my children, and this, in front of her whole family. I felt her parent staring at me, but I couldn't look away from her. She seemed terrified by what I just said. Suddenly her brother talked, for the first time of the meal.

"This is ridiculous." She regained her composure and approved him.

"Than you Christopher!"

Then she sat back properly, paying too much attention to her plate. Valentine was still looking at me, a weird glint gleaming in his eyes. It was as if he had realized something that should have been obvious to him. That I loved his daughter? Wasn't it the most obvious thing of the world? Clary cleared her throat and changed the subject.

"Anyway, how about we talk about something less frightening. Like ... Why is Dad so maniac?"

Her brother joined her in her laughter while her parents were still looking at me. Note to self, never talk about you wanting children in front of your girlfriend's parents. _Ever_. Clary, still laughing mimicked her father talking, making her brother laugh even more.

"I'm not maniac, I just like things to be in order."

"Me organizing alphabetically the spices? But this helps when you cook you'll see."

"Don't walk here! I've washed the floor only 67 times today."

For the first time I was seeing her sharing a sibling moment with her brother. A _real_ one, like the many I had with my own siblings. They wouldn't stop laughing, holding their sides, together allying against their father. Clary was bent, her head on her knees and tears falling from her eyes. Valentine tried to calm their hysteria.

"Okay, we got it, I'm a bit obsessed by the cleaning ..."

"... A bit?" This simple word from her brother made Clary laugh even more.

"Stop it! I can't breath anymore! I'm dying!"

Valentine put his elbows on the table and rested his forehead on his fingers while Jocelyn put her head on her hand. They just waited for them to stop laughing, and by the look of it, this happened a lot. They seemed so used to do that that I felt like a stranger. Not belonging in this perfect Norman Rockwell family picture. Finally they calmed down, tears in their eyes and sat back properly as if nothing had happened.

"Bet you never saw her laugh like that." I looked at him, feeling this familiar envy to connect my fist to his face. God, it's like he wasn't even trying to make this work. Unexpectedly, Valentine came to my rescue.

"Christopher!"

"What? I'm just saying that I'm the only one who can make her laugh like that. It's a sibling thing, surely you must have shared it with your _own_ siblings?"

"Maybe you can make her laugh to tears, but only I can make her happy beyond anything."

Okay, this was the boldest thing I ever did. Insinuating bed-related things in front of her parents, but I had to shut him up. Clary kicked me under the table, but I couldn't stop glaring at his brother.

** ~.o.O.o.~ **

**Hihi, end of chapter 26. Hope you liked it. Hope you liked this side of Valentine we didn't see coming (well maybe you did, but I didn't), and ouuuuuu what's going one between Jocelyn and him? **

**And I know you hate me because Jace still doesn't know but I have it so pertly planned in my head, I can't spoil it now, you'll have to wait! Anyway, it's for next chapter, or the one after, not sure yet how I'll cut it. **

**Anyway, I liked this idea of a pretty family, I hope you did too. This seems to go somewhere good. Maybe even a happy ending in 4-5 chapters ... Who am I kidding, this is just the beginning mohahahahahah! Sorry for you you'll have to endure me a lot more! ;P**

**Anyway, nothing is mine, so **

**Cheers **


	27. Chapter 27

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view**.

God! This man was crazy! Who makes jokes about how they bring orgasms out of you in front of your parents? This dinner was going from awkward to awkward-er! I would probably die of shame before the end of it. But seriously, what was he thinking? It was not because Valentine had finally made a gesture toward him by inviting him over for dinner that it meant that he would not try to chop his head off for this insinuation? I looked at him, but he didn't say anything, and smiled to me before looking back at Jace. Okay so either I was being paranoid and there was nothing wrong with what Jace had just said, either there was something going on that I didn't know. Mom saved me from the situation, jumping on another subject before Christopher could say the witty comment that was already forming on his lips.

"Anyways, who wants desert? I made pineapple upside down cake."

We ate the cake in a silence only broken by the compliments on the cake. Then, once the dishes were done Valentine proposed to bring Jace back to the Institute. He refused, saying he'd rather walk.

"I'll go with you to the end of the block."

Christopher almost said something but he was eye-silenced by our father. Jace said goodbye and finally we were out. We silently walked hand in hand and stopped at the streetlamp on the corner.

"Jace? What did you tell him to make him change his mind?"

"_I_ didn't tell him anything. _You're_ the one who changed his mind." Did I? I didn't even tried.

"So I guess this means we're finally fitting in this cliché of a teenage couple?" He cupped my face and gently kissed me.

"I like being in this cliché with you. I like being anywhere with you."

"Well, pray that I don't die during the night, or you'll have to like being in a grave."

"And? I love you and I will love you until I die, and if there is a life after that, I'll love you then."

How could he pour his emotions out like that? How could he tell me how much he loved me as easily as he was breathing? Of course I wanted to say it back, but the words wouldn't pass my lips. They would only stay in my mouth, aching to come out, but never daring to. The only stupid thing I could do was blush and look down.

"Do you know how much I like seeing you blushing?"

"You like seeing me turning into a fire alarm?"

"I like to think you're turning into a tomato, they're delicious to eat!"

And he started kissing my neck, putting his hand on my lower back to bring me closer. I quickly locked his face in my own hands and kissed him back with as much passion as I could manage. He kissed me back, bending a little more to have a better access to me. I tiptoed myself to deepen our kiss, already feeling myself melt to him in a moan, and suddenly he broke our ardent kiss.

"Damn it Clary, you're not helping!"

"What did I do?"

"Nothing ..." He knelt rubbing his face in his hands and growling out his annoyance. "It's just that I made a promise, and you kissing me like that is not helping!"

"You made a promise?"

"Yes, but don't worry about it." What promise could he have done that had anything to do with me kissing him? And to whom? Oh, wait...

"Did you promised my Dad that you wouldn't have sex with me?" He looked up to me and nodded. "Well, you already broke this promise you moron!"

"He knows Clary. He asked me, and I told him the truth. Why do you think he didn't say anything to what I've said to your idiotic brother. But he knows most of all that I won't touch you again because I promised him, and I never break my promises." I also knelt to be at his level.

"You shouldn't have promise that."

"And why that? I don't mind not having sex with you if it means staying with you. There's more to us than sex. I had hoped you'd realized that."

"Of course I know that, but _you're a guy._ Guys don't do good without sex."

"Well, we've already proven that we're not like usual couples. You're the girl who's an expert in bikes, video games and kicking people's asses, and I'm the guy who'd rather live in abstinence than lose you." I smiled to him, touched beyond words by what he was ready to do for me.

"Can I ask you something free of consequences?" I nodded, curious of what he would ask. "What was that about you choking earlier?"

God, out of all the questions he wanted to ask me, he had to pick this one? The one who set the most awkward and long moment of the evening. Why? I would have rather have a werewolf attacking me right now than talk about the possibility of children with him. It was frightening.

"I just don't see myself with children. Not yet. Maybe in ten years I'll _think_ of it. But as for now I just want to live my life as it comes."

He looked at me, not saying anything nor mentioning his little outburst of 'craziness' (it had to be craziness for him to state in front of my parents what he said!). Then he got up and helped me to do the same before pecking chastely my lips.

"I have to meet up Alec at Magnus'. I better go before finding them in positions I don't want to see my brother in." I chuckled and quickly pecked him before he went away.

Once I got home, my Mom was waiting for me in the living room, sparks shining in her eyes. I sat next to her asking where were the boys.

"Probably pouting and cheering in their bedrooms." I quizzically looked at her as I laid my head on her knees. "Your brother is certainly pouting because he doesn't like the idea of anyone eyeing or touching his baby sister. And your father ... Well we decided to ...to go eat out together tomorrow night."

Oh, that would explain the sparkles. I smiled, happy for her and for him. Maybe they would get back together, putting aside whatever happened so many years ago.

"That's cool! A date with Dad. But maybe it would be weird for you. With you living here, and knowing each other ... Where will be the mystery? And the butterflies on wether the date will lead to something more or not? Not that I don't want you to go out on a date with Dad! I'm just wondering..."

"It'll be a different kind of date. It'll be more like a reunite kind of date."

"Well, that's great! Dad loves you. I can tell, even after all those years, he still does."

"I know." I smiled, imagining my Mom as Han Solo. Who else could so simply and calmly state that they were very well aware of someone else's feeling toward them?

"As Christopher will himself be out with friends, maybe you could invite Jace over."

"I will certainly not invite Jace over in order not to be lonely. I am not that desperate to avoid loneliness. I think I'll just watch _Supernatural_. Dean and I have a lot of catching up to do." She laughed a little before caressing my hair.

"Say that you don't want to droll over another man in front of Jace."

Well, that was true, but mostly I didn't want to get used to the idea of seeing him on a daily basis. The week I found out about my Dad had been extremely hard, partly because of the fact that I had been a costumed on seeing him daily, sleeping with him nightly. I preferred reserving myself and putting some distance in order to protect myself from an agonizing pain when he would eventually leave me (even though I heartily hoped it would never come to that).

~.o.O.o.~ Jace's point of view.

I had been waiting for twenty minutes in front of Magnus' gigantic front door when Alec finally came to open, his hair tangled, his face glittered and his shirt mis-buttoned. God I didn't want to think of what they were doing while I was freezing outside. Alec gave me an apologetic smile before taking me to Magnus' kitchen. He poured three coffee and sat in front of me, sipping his coffee. He had changed, he looked more confident, but mostly he seemed happier and less goofy. Gone was the closed Alec, always lost in his moody thought.

"So what brings you here Jace? It's kind of late."

"Do Robert and Maryse know about you?"

"No. They think I became a Jace number 2, sleeping at a different girl's every night. The glitter you see. But you didn't come all the way just to talk to me about that."

"Can't I just enjoy my brother's company?" He raised an eyebrow to me.

"You're a passive enjoyer Jace. When you want to talk to someone, you want to talk."

"You're right I have a favor to ask your boyfriend."

Magnus appeared at this right moment, trousers-less, and glitter all over his face. Alec blushed at his lack of cloths while Magnus kissed him before sitting next to him, his hand disappearing under the table.

"What do you want of my magnificent self?"

"I know you tried to track down Clary's 'ex', and that you didn't manage to find anything, but I have something for you now. I have his name."

"I won't do it." What? He was my only chance on finding him without confronting Clary about him.

"Clary came two weeks ago. She asked me to find her Mom. I told her I couldn't, and she left with Alec." Why was he bothering me with those old news? "Then she lost Alec in traffic and manage to do what I couldn't, she found her Mom. The same night she came back," Alec snapped his head to him. Apparently he wasn't aware of this part. "in the middle of the night and she asked me -more like begged me with a tears eyes- to never help someone who would want to know something about her 'ex' or her family." Did she now?

"Well, I'm sure she didn't mean me."

"In fact, she said especially you. Sorry Jace I won't break my promise to her for you. Clary, I like, a lot, you ... not that much."

"And that doesn't strike you as odd that she asks you specifically not to tell anything."

"When you'll have seen as much things that I have, odd won't be part of your vocabulary anymore."

I growled of frustration and got up to leave, not even bothering to say goodbye. Why? Why did she had to be secretive about her past? Why? What was so wrong about it? All night long I kept on wondering why she was hiding so vehemently her past. What was so horrible that she made sure no one would ever found out. A hundred times my fingers composed her number to finally drop the phone on the bed. What if I didn't want to know? Maybe she knew better and knew that the truth was better left untold. I slowly drifted in a dream free sleep only to wake up with a start. I looked at the time and when I saw it was past 6pm, I decided that I couldn't hold it anymore. I quickly took a shower and went to her house. Once there I knocked and rang when no one answered, but still no one came to open the door. I checked the driveway, her Harley was there, it's all I needed to know. I went to the back door and let myself in, only to find her in the living room, watching a TV-show. Watching was euphemistic. She was literally living it. Her eyes wide opened, looking at the action, not missing one bit. She was in a black tank top and a black short skirt. Her hair were loose and wet, falling as a halo around her head as she was laying on her stomach supporting her weight on her elbows, her skirt lifted a little upper than it should. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have come. Her sketchpad was next to her, on the floor. Suddenly one of the character got stabbed from behind and she clapped of glee as the character was dying, lightening weirdly.

"That was the strangest death I ever had to see on screen."

"Shhhh." She didn't even look at me for she was so absorbed by her show, when suddenly she turned her head to me, realizing that I was here.

~.o.O.o.~ Clary's point of view.

Dean had just killed that bitch of Ruby and I was ecstatic. It was a rerun, and I've already had seen this episode like a thousand time, but still! And suddenly an annoying noise came from behind. I didn't even pay attention to it until I realized that the annoying noise was Jace's voice. I turned to see him smiling at me. What was he doing here? I was supposed to get detoxified of him and Dean was doing an awesome job so far!

"How did you get here? The door is locked."

"If I had been able to sneak out, I think I can sneak in." Of course he would.

"What are you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you but ... I wasn't expecting you."

I sat back properly as I saw his eyes lingering on my legs. But well, as I said I wasn't expecting him, otherwise I would have dressed less skin showing. He swayed on his legs for a moment before blurting out:

"I came to ask you about your 'ex'."

What? This was something that I had thought of the table, forgotten. Why did he want to talk about him all of the sudden? Why when things started to get well with my family? This was asking for trouble!

"I don't want to. You can go away if you only came to do that."

"I waited long enough, and you still don't want to talk about it. It's not good to bury things like that Clary."

"Things are better left buried, trust me and drop it." He sat next to me while my heart was losing it. His questions were the end of my family.

"I won't drop it Clary. I know his name, I know his implication in the drug traffic, I know what he did to you. I want you to trust me enough to show me his face." I jumped on my feet, scared to death of where his questions were leading. I could already feel tears building in my eyes.

"No Jace! _You_ trust me when I ask you to drop it! Drop it! Don't ever ask me again! I won't tell you anything, I won't show you his face!" His eyes flickered to my sketchpad at his feet, and before I knew it, it was in his hands. "No!"

I fell on my knees putting my face in my hands to hide my tears as Dean said on the screen his famous 'Son of a bitch'.

~.o.O.o.~

**I know, it is shorter to what I usually do, but I had to stop here (even though I know that the next chapter will be short too). Hope you liked and enjoyed it because as long as I won't have finish the City of Heavenly Fire, I won't be updating ... (So probably one day tops, but still, I have to grieve after! And that can take sooo loooong, the dead characters, the end of a saga, what am I going to do with my life?)**

**Plus, I might (75% might put some dead characters of the upcoming book in the upcoming chapters more or less far as I feel it SO AS LONG AS YOU HAVEN'T READ COHF, DON'T READ THE FOLLOWING CHAPTERS! **

**Anyway, I can't keep thanking you enough for the reviews, they're always a pleasure to receive. **

**You know the drift about the Cassandra Clare owning everything. **

**Cheers. **


	28. Chapter 28

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view. **

I opened her sketchbook at the last drawn page. She didn't say anything, keeping her face in her hands, leaning against the couch. The drawing was one of us. Us as angels, with her falling and losing her feathers as I was golden, holding her back, flying us to the sky. If only she knew how much it was the contrary. I turned the pages, and every time I did so she was asking me to stop. There were drawings of me, of us, of her whole family reunited, of Izzy and Alec, of Sebastian, of Simon, of the city from the Institute's rooftop, and suddenly, all her drawings started only be landscapes. I knew I was getting closer, closer of finally seeing that bastard's face when she jumped on me with no warning and made me drop her sketchbook.

"Please Jace, please! Don't do that to me! Please!"

She was crying like I'd never seen her cry, literally frightened by what I might see. I took her in my arms, patting her hair while she was sobbing against my chest. I looked down where the sketchbook had fallen and saw a drawing that didn't have its place there.

"Clary? What is that?"

"It's nothing."

She quickly closed her pad, pulling it close to her heart, her face drowned with tears. She looked me in the eyes, daring me to take it back. But it was too late, I had seen it. It was a dark and black drawing, only enlightened by her flamboyant red hair, the rest being black and white. She was laying on a bed, her closed eyes shedding tears, her cloths untidy. But that hadn't been the most disturbing part, the most disturbing part had been that she was fighting off someone laying on her, crushing one of her hands into the bed and strangling her. Someone who was Christopher with his pale mingled hair falling on his face and a luxurious and perverted grin plastered on his face. Just by his eyes you could tell what he was doing and how much he was enjoying it. But it couldn't be him she'd only know him for two weeks, this drawing was much older, older than her entrance in the Institute. This face shouldn't have been his but Jonathan's. This wasn't making any sense.

"Clary, what was that?" She shook her head, refusing to speak. "Why was your brother on that drawing?"

She shook her head again, tears falling endlessly on her face. This wasn't making any sense... Why would she have drawn her brother like that? Why... And then I started putting the pieces together. Simon's rage when he saw him, Clary's attitude towards him, Clary not wanting anyone to look for Jonathan, the way he looked at her.

"Clary? Is _he_ the one who _raped_ you?"

"Who said anything about a r... about that? I surely didn't! Stop asking stupid questions and leave!"

She was still not looking at me in the eyes and I couldn't believe what I just discovered. How could this be? How could she have forgiven him and allowed him back in her life, sleeping a few feet from him? I took her to shake her, making her drop her book.

"Clary, tell me it's not him on the picture! Tell me I saw wrong! Tell me you're not that stupid to allow him back in your life!"

"No! Jace, go away! Don't ruin my family! Go away and forget everything you've ever seen!"

She wasn't denying it. She wasn't saying that her brother didn't rape her, _couldn't_ have raped her, that it was impossible, inconceivable. Anything that she should have said if it wasn't true.

"I'm going to kill him! I'm going to fucking kill him!" I started walking to the living room door when she grabbed my arm to make me stop.

"No! Please Jace don't! If you love me, don't!"

"Me loving you is exactly why I am going to kill him!"

"Jace no, stop! Stop!"

The door opened abruptly, revealing a blond unfriendly face.

~.o.O.o.~ **guess who's point of view. **

Heaven exists. I always had been sure of that. I always knew that our afterlife would be something exhilarating. I became sure of that when I first met her. That redhead for whom I would change the world. That redhead whose smile made me the happiest man on Earth. That nice, gentle and sweet redhead. Jocelyn. When I first saw her, I knew. I knew she was the one. The one I would have children with, the one I would spend the rest of my life for, the one I would gladly die for. And then I came to know her, to know her fears, to know her secrets, and I swore I would never let anything happen to her ever again. If her past hadn't been kind to her, her future would be. I changed for her, and I was ready to do it again. She was ready to look at me again as she used to, and I would do anything for it to continue. To make her smile to me again as she used to.

"It was very nice to be just the two of us, without the kids."

"It is always nice to be with you Joy."

She blushed a bit at the in name I used to call her with, tightening her scarf around her. We were in the car, in front of her old flat for she wanted to pick up some stuffs she needed.

"I think I'll stay here for the night, to think peacefully."

"As you wish. You're not my prisoner, you never were."

"I know. I stayed because I wanted."

She smiled to me with that smile that I had missed so much. Heaven was there, with her! Every time she smiled, she looked like an Angel gracing me of her light. She unbuckled her belt, ready to leave when she unexpectedly turned and kissed me. I immediately kissed her back feeling the Paradise coming to me. Then she smiled to me even more and left. God how I loved this woman! So much that I had lost her in order to make her happier! But now, finally, she was taking me back. I drove back home, feeling that finally things were going as it should be. My wife was looking at me with sparks in her eyes and my children were both living under my roof. Sure there was this issue about Christopher, but he seemed to be willing to change. Maybe he wasn't such a mistake. And Clary ... Clary was just the living proof that what I had been right from the beginning: I could make people better from the womb.

As soon as I got home, I heard screaming coming from the living room. It was Clary's shivering voice. I went there, and as I opened the door, I saw her in Jace's arms, tears on her face. Tears. Clary never cried, she always swallowed back her tears until she was alone. She quickly look from me to Jace, fear written all over her face before she begged him, hissing:

"Please Jace please."

"What's going on?" I walked into the room, ready to separate them when Jace looked from Clary to me, rage in his eyes. He let go of her and walked to me as Clary tried to pull him off.

"How the fuck could you force your daughter to live under the same roof as her rapist!"

Clary shrieked as he said that, falling on her knees and putting her face in her hands. How did he know about her rape? And what did he mean about her living under the same roof as ... Suddenly, Christopher opened the door and leaned against the frame, looking at us quizzically.

"_You're the one who raped her?!_"

He didn't even seem surprised, only looking down at Clary as she raised her head to him. They exchanged a look, and then he narrowed his eyes, accusing her:

"You told!"

"No! I didn't! I swear I tried to protect our family!"

How could she try to protect him?! He was the one who did wrong, and now he was making her feel guilty, without even thinking, I grabbed him by the neck, crushing him to the wall.

"Of all the things you've done, this is the worst! How could you rape her? How could you rape your sister? I understand now why you wanted so much to be the one to pick her up! You had to make sure she wouldn't tell! How could I've been so blind? The way you look at her, the way you always had to be around her! How could you have done that to her?! To your own sister!"

"Stop! Stop! He's sorry! He changed! He didn't know!"

Clary had grabbed my arm and was pulling it in order to make me lose my grip on him. Jace came and picked her up, making her jerk all over the place, trying to defend ... that thing that was between my hands. What have I done to this family? I turned the first one into an emotionless and evil demon and my daughter into a too-good person. How could she defend him? After what he had done to her? After she told me that it had been so hard on her to get back on her feet! Suddenly something she said hit me.

"He didn't know? He had to know, he had seen pictures of your mother since the day he was born, having one on his nightstand! He knew very well who you were and he didn't tell you, he didn't tell me, he didn't tell her! You are a mistake Jonathan-Christopher! Rotten to the core! You never should have been allowed to live!"

He didn't say anything, his eyes steady flying from Clary to me, and I swear I'd seen the hint of a smile. At my statement, Clary stopped struggling and looked at him. She looked so numb at the moment that if Jace wasn't holding her, I'm sure she would have fall. She wiped her face, her eyes incredibly empty. Jace called her name, but she didn't answer him, her eyes fixed on Christopher. She freed herself from Jace and walked to us.

"You knew?"

"What?"

"You knew who I was all along, and you still ..."

"I told you back then. We belong together."

As he said that I knocked him again against the wall, but I couldn't get my attention off of Clary, she seemed numb. He made a move to her, and I knew I was going to kill him. I tightened my grip around his neck, seeing slowly the life leaving his eyes.

"Don't. He doesn't worth me losing my father. If you kill him, you'll go to jail, and I'll lose you too." I slowly partly let go of him, and her lips weakly smiled as an approval.

"Leave! Don't ever come near my family again! Leave as in never come back. If I ever see you again, I'll kill you!"

He shook himself off the wall and left, looking one last time at her. Once we heard the door slam, Jace took her in his arms, but she backed away from him.

"Don't." Her eyes were dry of tears, staring into space when she regained her composure. "I'll go wash my face."

She left the room leaving me with Jace, us staring at each other. The rage I had seen in his eyes wasn't gone.

"I wouldn't have let him go." He sounded angry and destroyed, even though his voice was calm. "I would have killed him on the spot and regretted it my all life for she would never have forgiven me. I wouldn't have had the strength to do what you did."

He sat on the couch, while I was staring at him. Why did it had to be Jace who loved my daughter so much? They would have been perfect if he hadn't failed at his test of adaptation. Now that I knew he could go as far as kill, what was I supposed to do? Sure, he would kill for her, but this would destroy her, and even he knew it. But in the other hand, if she hadn't stopped me, I would have killed him too. He was saying he would have gone through it, but he wasn't the one she begged. He wasn't the one who knew she would be disappointed for the rest of her life if he had killed him. Maybe if the roles had been reversed he would have stopped. For her.

"You would have stopped. She would have asked you, and you would have stopped."

"This seems familiarly off."

"What?" Suddenly he got up, rushing to the door.

"This is how she ran last time!" He ran to the entrance door and when I arrived there myself a second later, we saw her on her bike at the corner of the street.

~.o.O.o.~

**Finally! They all know (I decided to be nice and put one last chapter before the COHF). I hope you liked how the revelation went, tell me if it was up to your expectations. (I know all the Jace's lovers are going to say that he doesn't do that much, but it had to be this way). And I know the chapter is short, but I told, this chapter was going to be short. **

**So tell me what you thought of it, if you were expecting this, and mostly where do you think Clary went. **

**Anyway, I have no rights to those characters, but that you already knew, so **

**Cheers**


	29. Chapter 29

**Okay, so this chapter will be a following of different point of views. Hope you'll like it **

**And of course, Cassandra Clare owns everything! **

**Enjoy**

~.o.O.o.~** Jace's point of view**.

She was gone. Once against she had left without looking behind her. Why? Why was she always acting like that? What was she thinking? Where did she go? I tried to calm myself, thinking over how it went last time. Where did she go last time? To her Mom. Surely she would have done the same today.

"She's at her Mom's. Last time she went looking for her. She must be there."

Valentine paled even more (if it was possible) at the mention of Jocelyn, but he shook his head no, passing his hand on his face.

"She tried to protect her by not telling. So Jocelyn is the last person she would go to right now." The fact that he knew his daughter so well bugged me and impressed me in the same time. He had only know her for a few weeks, but he already knew how she thought.

"I'll go check where she could have gone. You, you go back at the Institute, maybe she went back there." I frowned, not happy of doing nothing to find her.

"I know someone who..."

"I know of your connections, but I have bigger. Go to the Institute, and stay there. I _mean_ it, don't go looking for him!"

She had been missing for a week. No one knew where she was (either that or no one would tell me) only that she was okay, according to her. The familiarity of this situation was disturbingly annoying. She told no one where she was, not even her parents, and didn't come to school for the week, and they seemed okay with it! How could they? I could barely sleep or eat because I didn't know where she was and how she was holding up. Her Mom had called me to tell me that Clary didn't want to see anyone who had a connection with what happened Saturday. I could hear in her voice that she had been crying for a long time, and that she was still crying. I couldn't blame her, she had lost her two kids in one day. One refusing to talk to her because of what the other did to her. I still couldn't believe it. How could she had lived with him, pretending he was her brother when she had been raped by him? If only that bastard had showed up before Valentine. I wouldn't have even given him the time to breath a single word to her, to look a single time at her. It was the fact that he had known about their sibling-status all along that destroyed her. She had become deaden when she realized how much he was twisted, first for raping her, second for raping her knowing she was his sister! I had seen her hands twitch violently, aching to find his face when he told her that they belonged together. God, when he said that, I was parted between puking and hitting him. I don't understand how she could have stayed so calm with him looking at her the way he did. She was too calm, I've had seen her lose it to help her friend, but to help herself, she just stood straight, barely feeling anything. And now she was gone. Twice she fled away because of him. I realized now that when she left after seeing the picture, if was because she had seen Valentine, the copy of her rapist.

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view. (Back when she left) **

"Clary? What's wrong?"

I let myself fall in Sebastian's arms and cried all the tears I haven't yet spilled back at the house. He took me in his arms, trying to sooth me, not asking a single question and telling me that everything was okay. That's why I came to him and not Simon, I knew he would just be the shoulder I needed to cry on. He didn't know anything about my fucked up life, he couldn't judge me, couldn't pressure me into making a rational decision. I cried on his shoulder, realizing that I had lost everything. My family, myself, Jace. I had lost everything because of _him_! Twice he had me fooled. Twice he made me believe there was good in him. And twice he had ripped my heart out in the most hurtful way possible. He had known. All along he had known. All along he had played me, and I was too stupid to see it. Little by little my tears changed into sobs before really stoping. Sebastian looked down on me and told me to come in his house. I followed him, retarding as much as possible the moment I would have to face my Mom with the truth. This was the scariest part of this all mess. How would she react? How would she react to this bomb destroying her happiness of being the mother she was always meant to be? I couldn't tell her. I couldn't be the one who made her world collapse. I just couldn't. We sat on the chairs in his kitchen and he served me a black coffee.

"I heard it's good when you feel down."

"Thank you Sebastian. For everything. I didn't know where to go, and you seemed ..."

"... Don't worry Clary. If I can be here for you, then it's fine. You want to tell me what happened?"

I shook my head no and took a sip of coffee. He looked at me, thinking about it for a moment, but he decided not to try to push it.

"Okay. Then maybe we could ... I don't known, we could ..." My phone rang (again) and after looking at the ID caller, I didn't pick it up. He looked at me turning down the phone and when it started ringing again, he said:

"You should probably get that. People must worry about you."

I looked at the caller ID, and surprisingly, this time it was Jordan. I tried to steady my voice and make it as normal as possible because I didn't want to worry him.

"Hello?"

"Damn it Clary! Where are you?" He sounded angry and relief. Maybe he had tried to call me before. I couldn't know I had ignored my phone who had been ringing since I left home.

"At a friend's. Why?"

"Because everyone is losing it right now. Tell me where you are, I'll come and pick you up."

God he knew. At the sound of his voice I could tell he did. The way his anger was trying to hide his worry, the way he was taking in charge of the situation, the way he was making sure I was okay. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I quickly wiped it off.

"You know?"

"Yes I know Clary."

"I don't want to see them. I don't want to see anyone Jordan. I just want to forget that night ever happened. I just want to pretend like I was that Clary back then, when life was simpler. Life isn't worth it when it's so complicated!"

"Clary tell me where you are, I'll come on my own. You don't have to see anyone, just let me be sure that you're okay."

"I'm at Sebastian's, where the party was last time."

He said he'd be there in fifteen minutes and he hang up. I wanted to see Jordan because I knew he would find the right words I needed to hear, but in the mean time, I was dreading his arrival. Him coming meant me telling him my side of what happened that night, meaning I'd have to relive it, and I didn't want to. Never would be the better.

~.o.O.o.~ **Jordan's point of view. **

"She's at friend's. I'll go pick her up and take her to my place."

I was at Jocelyn's along with Simon and her father. Never had I her seen so devastated. She was staring into space, tears silently falling from her eyes, sitting in the corner of the couch, her knees brought to her chest. Position that Clary also did when she was upset.

"I'll come with you!"

Valentine was already taking his coat as Simon was nodding his statement of coming too. Jocelyn was still crying. Seeing her like that made me hope that Clary never had too. She wouldn't bear it, she loved her mother too much.

"No, I promised I'll come alone. She doesn't want to see anyone. I'll take her to my place like that she'll have a place to sleep."

Valentine (geez, it was weird to him that) was about to say something when fir the first time since I came in her mother spoke, still staring into space.

"Take her to Luke's." Valentine ticked. "She'll be safe there, he'll give her the space she needs."

I nodded and took my helmet before leaving. I grabbed a cab because I knew she was on bike and that there was no way in Hell that she'd leave her Harley behind her. During the trip I thought about the evening. On how out of the blue Simon had called me wondering if I knew where was Clary. Five minutes later we were all at her Mom's, her father telling us the discovery he made, Jocelyn numb on the couch. Valentine was so focused on trying to bottle his rage that he didn't notice Simon and I's absence of reaction when he told her that Christopher and Jonathan were the same person. Jocelyn on the other hand did. She looked at us, silently questioning us, and when we nodded, she put her head on her knees, her tears amplified. It was a good thing that Clary didn't want to see any of them. She kept the secret to see her Mom happy, and now she was crying her heart out. I arrived in front of the house, and saw her bike. I sighed in relief, glad to see that she didn't run somewhere else while I was on my way. I rang, and the guy who separated Maia from me at the party opened.

"Oh, so _you_ are Jordan. What a small world. Clary is in the bathroom. You want to come in?"

I nodded and entered his house. I saw a woman's head pop out from one of the room and Sebastian went to talk to her. A hint of jealousy came in me, as every time I was seeing someone with his family, but I quickly shook it off. Clary came out of one the other rooms and when she saw me she froze. I knew she trying to swallow down her emotions, like she always did, and I let her. I remembered when I last went looking for her like that. She had been supposed to meet us at Simon to do her usual scolding. But she was running late, at first we didn't worry because we knew she was with Jonathan, and Simon was rather happy because it meant that she wasn't going to shout at him. But as the sun started to set, we started to worry and called her. She didn't pick up and I told Simon I would go check at the hotel. And there she was, laying on a bed her cloths ripped, her face drowning in tears, her body bruised. I didn't try to come closer, only asking her who did that to her and she just shook her head, crying some more covering her face with her hands. He took me twenty minutes to make her look at me, and twenty more for her to allow me to touch her. We took a cab, her crying in my arms and went to Simon: she didn't need her mother to see her like that. No parents should see ever their child like that. She snapped me out of my memory.

"I'm not going back Jordan. I _can't_ go back there and face them."

"You don't have to. I'll take you to Luke. No one will bother you there. I promise."

She hesitated before nodding and saying goodbye to her friend and heading out of the house with her helmet in her hand. Once we were before her Harley, she spoke.

"He _knew_. Jordan, how am I suppose to react to that? Who does that to his sister? How am I suppose to feel?"

"What do you feel right now?"

"Nothing. I just feel nothing! He messed me up so much that I can't even fucking feel anything right now!"

"Don't you feel angry?"

She shook her head no and put her helmet on, ending the discussion. She let me drive saying that she was tired and I drove us to Luke. I had come to see if she was okay, and she was anything but okay. She was devastated, but how she said, how was she suppose to feel? I knew I was furious, but I didn't know him as she did. He was just a bastard to me. Clary on the other had tried to see him as her brother, sharing with him moments that only siblings share, living with him in their complete family, losing herself in this living-lie she allowed herself to believe in. Now that her life had been shattered once again, how was she suppose to feel about it? Luke was waiting for us on his front porch, leaning against his door. He told Clary to make herself at home and when she was out of sight, safe in his flat, he proposed to drop me off. I refused for I wanted to walk before going back home, I wanted to clear my head.

Once home, Maia greeted me with a smile. I still couldn't believe that she had forgiven me. Maybe forgiveness was a gene that girls mastered better than us, because I still hadn't forgiven myself. She asked me if everything settled down and I nodded, flopping into the couch. She sat next to me, leaning her head against my shoulder.

"You worry too much Jordan."

I didn't reply anything, knowing how much she was right. I always worried about the simplest things. She sat on my laps and started massaging my shoulders. I felt the tension leave bit by bit as she was getting rid of all my nodes. How did she end up back with me? I didn't deserve her, never had, never will. She was too good for me. But I couldn't help being selfishly happy by her wanting to be with me.

"I love you Maia. Always had. Always will."

"I love you too Jordan. Always had. Always will." I smiled and kissed her.

~.o.O.o.~** Luke's point of view**.

Someone came knocking at my door around 6am. I checked on Clary (she was in the position I left her, looking blankly through the window of her bedroom) before answering the door and facing Valentine. Of course. Not that I didn't want to see him, but I _really_ didn't want to see him. We stared at each other in silence for about a minute before he finally spoke.

"How is she?"

"Not good. She cried all night long, she refused to eat, nor to sleep."

He passed a hand through his hair before leaning against the outside wall. I closed the door and leaned my shoulder against it, looking at him. He had changed, the crazy spark he used to have in his eyes was gone. He has more mature in the way he talked or stood.

"What have I done Lucian?" He was looking to the sky, lost in his thoughts, probably remembering the past as I was. "All I wanted was a better world. Just a better world for my wife and kids to live in."

"You can't change the world Valentine. No one can."

We were back on what drove us apart. Why I turned my back on my best friend and planned with his wife to runaway, taking their son along.

"I can. I _can_ change that rotten world we live in. But I won't. Because as rotten as it is, it is still better than what _he_ is capable of."

What he said didn't make any sense, but then again, Valentine only made sense to himself for he was the only one to understand himself.

"_He_? Your son?"

"I don't have a son!" Of course, if I had been in his situation, I would have reacted the same way. I don't know how he managed not to kill him. Just the thought of that little creep's neck between my fingers made me smile. "I don't understand her, Lucian. I don't understand why she didn't tell right up front? _Why_? Why did she protect him?"

"Because you gave her what she always wanted. A family. She took it, even though it had a big flaw, she took it because she always longed for a family. As long as I can remember she had." He smiled humorlessly.

"_You_ couldn't have given her that? According to Jace you're more her father than I am."

"Jocelyn never let me recognize her as my own." Valentine stared at me for a moment before returning his attention to the fading stars.

"She's never going to forgive me."

I knew he was talking about Jocelyn. I knew he still loved her, and he was very well aware of my feelings for her. This was something I have been battling over the whole past two weeks. When I learned she was staying over there, I felt my heart break into pieces, but I couldn't have ask her to choose me over her children. So I let her do as she wished, without arguing, even though Valentine was there. She said he'd changed, and that was the scary part. She left because he changed into this crazy and obsessed person, but she could fall all over again for him if he changed back into the person she loved in the first place. And even though this was a perfect opportunity for me, to put the blame on him, I found myself comforting him.

"This is not your fault. You _cannot_ take responsibilities for what he did, you didn't raised him to do that. If there is something that I'll alway be sure of is that you would never teach someone to do what he had done. On the contrary." He knew there was more than Clary's situation in my words.

"Maybe. But you still have no idea how much it is my fault." He detached himself from the wall. "I better get going. Please tell Clary that if she wants to come back her Mom is at her place."

And he left after giving me an eloquent look. Jocelyn had come back home.

Clary stayed in her room during a whole week, barely eating, only talking when I spoke to her, and having nightmares every nights. She didn't scream or anything, but I could hear through the walls that she'd wake up at a start and cry silently. I tried to cheer her up by buying her drawing material and books, but she never touched them. She did nothing, just stared through the window of her room. Jordan came to see her everyday, forcing her to get out and ride with him, and she'd always come back a little more cheery from their stroll. He proposed that she'd start something new like a sport or something, and she absentmindedly agreed to it. When I told her that she could go at Jocelyn's if she wanted, she seemed literally panicked, so I dropped the case, knowing that she would come around. Another friend of hers came everyday, bringing her her homework and staying an hour with her everyday. For him, she always pretended that everything was fine, and I assumed that he wasn't aware of the situation, just knowing that she was a little down. Simon only came the first day, and they had an argument. He wasn't going to let her fall into self-pity and tried to shook her off, making her angry for bringing out things that she wanted to forget or didn't want to admit to herself, let along others. The Sunday night she came out of her room and joined me in the kitchen, sitting in front of me.

"I'm sorry Luke. I haven't be the best guest lately."

"Don't worry. You don't have to apologize."

"I think I'll go back to school tomorrow. Finals are coming and I'll be completely lost if I don't go to class. Sebastian is not the best tutor."

She weakly smiled and I chuckled. Since she was little Clary has been obsessed by understanding completely what she was taught in class. That's why she didn't like Maths and Science, it was too simple for her, and therefore didn't deserve her attention. She always managed to pass without even looking at her lessons and books. Literature on the other was complex enough for her. To understand why the writer used this special word instead of another was fascinating to her.

"Are you going to Valentine's to pick up your books?"

"No. I asked Jordan to."

I nodded, feeling sad for Jocelyn and Valentine. It must be hard on them to have their daughter refusing to talk to them about a difficult time in her life. I know how bad I felt when she pretended that nothing happened when she got raped, it was as if she didn't trust me enough with her heart.

"Well. I'll go to bed now."

"You're not eating?" She looked at my soup and said that she wasn't hungry.

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view. **

On Monday, I spotted her next at our usual sit. She had her head between her arms and didn't looked up to me when I sat next to her. She wasn't tense or anything, only looked as if she was sleeping. I called her name, but she didn't answer to me, only raising her groggy face when the teacher came in, but still not looking at me. She paid too much attention to the class, I tried to talk to her, but she never looked at me, deliberately ignoring me. When the bell rang, she ran out of the class before I could tell her anything. So she was definitely avoiding me. All day I tried to get her attention anytime I saw (which meant not so many times as she seems to have the sudden ability of becoming invisible). Finally I got her at the end of the day, after Music class. She was leaning against the wall of the man's bathroom.

"You decided to go public about your real sex?" She barely smiled nor look toward me. Man, this was going to be hard. "Where have you been staying?"

I had tried to keep my tone casual, but if came out more like an possessive order. She heard that and finally turned her head to me, her eyes shooting daggers at me (well, she was looking at me, but not the way I'd like her too).

"Not that it's _any_ of your business, but I was at Luke's." Her voice was like venom.

"You should at least go talk to your parents. It's not fair of you to take it on them like you do."

She snapped her head away from my gaze and looked away. She was back on pretending I wasn't there.

"Clary! Talk to me!"

"I have nothing to tell you Jace. I asked you to leave my problems to me, and you didn't." I had shouted, but her voice had been calm, never looking at me.

"You can't hold the grudge against me for what I did! You can't be angry for me showing what a bastard he was! You want to talk about that, let's talk! Were you fucking high? What's wrong with you? How can you even consider forgiving him, defending him, mourning him?"

She slowly turned her head to me, her big green eyes wide open, tears building in the back. She bit furiously her lips before screaming at me all she had on her heart.

"I didn't look into your past! I never asked you to face your Godfather and confront him for what he did to you and why! Even though I knew it was what you wanted deep inside, even though I knew it would have been for the best, I respected your wish to stay in retreat! I never pushed you to face your fears the way you pushed me to face mines. Because I knew how much it could hurt. But you didn't care, you _had_ to dig into my past to know all my dirty little secret! Congratulations, you know them! What does it change for you? Are you a better person? Are you any different? No you're still the same fucking person! And _I_ am the one who's paying for the collateral damages! _Me_! _I_ am the one who ends up behind hurt. Just because you had to pry where you had no business! You've destroyed my family Jace! You've destroyed _me_! How am I suppose to ever face my parents again after the bomb you put on my family? How am I suppose to hold my Mom and tell her that everything is going to be okay when I know that she'll never have the son she longed for? How am I suppose to tell my father that I love him when he thinks that it is all his fault? _How_? You've ruined my chance of happiness and family, and for that I hate you!"

At that moment, Sebastian emerged from the bathroom and looked from me to Clary's face, full of tears. He asked her if she was okay and she quickly wiped her tears and tore her gaze from mine to look at him. How could she so easily tell me she hated me when she couldn't tell me 'I love you'? Sebastian took her in his arms and they started walking away.

~.o.O.o.~

**So yes, I've decided to be nice and upload a new chapter in my crazy reading of COHF (which by the way is AWESOME) because many of you asked in reviews and PMs, so I hope you liked it. And I know some people are going to hate me with the cliffhanger, but I like it (and I'm evil mohahahahahah), so sorry, but you'll have to wait until I finish the book to have another update. (Or maybe if you ask nicely, I'll update again before I finish it)**

**I hope you liked the different character's point of view (and that you are happy with Luke's return, because I was). We got to see a little bit more into Valentine, Luke and Jocelyn's past (but not too much) **

**And don't worry, this story is far from over, and I have new ideas coming as I'm reading COHF (God, it's so good! I think I'll die of paroxysm, just by reading it! Wait no I can't, I have to finish the story first) **

**I know some people asked about Jonathan-Christopher's point of view, and don't worry it is planed, but not for now. I already have his first chapter almost ready in my mind, and for it to come out perfectly, you'll have to wait. (Sorry) **

**And of course I wanted to thank you for all your reviews, and follows and favorites. It really does mean a lot and motivates to write and update daily (of course not now, but as soon as I'll finish the book, I'll go back on a daily updating), especially the reviews and PMs when people tell you to keep on updating because they like your story. **

**Anyway, Cassandra Clare owns every character, so **

**Cheers**


	30. Chapter 30

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view**.

"I'm not the one you should hate."

He had murmured those words. I'm sure that if I hadn't been paying attention, I wouldn't have heard them. Hell, I'm sure Sebastian didn't hear them. I didn't turn to look at him, I didn't want to see his face. I knew he was right. I knew my anger shouldn't have been against him, but he was the one who forced me into talking. He was the one who forced me into facing what I was feeling inside. And what I was feeling wasn't pretty. I had so much anger boiled up within me that I could launch a nuclear bomb with it, and didn't want to be that person. I didn't want to be angry. I didn't want to face the truth that I had been a stupid _stupid_ idiot! Everything I told him was true, but it wasn't meant for him. And I knew that now, Jace would never forgive me for what I've have said. I won't. As soon as the words came out, I regretted them because I knew they weren't true, but Sebastian came, and I couldn't take them back without starting another painful conversation. I didn't know where we stood. All I remembered was Jace's look of disgust during that fateful night, and I couldn't bring myself to forget it. All week long I had been hoping and dreading to see him. All week long the same questions came into my mind every time I had been thinking about Jace. Does he still love me? Does he still want me? Will he ever look at me the way he used to? Does he still love me?

"Well, I think I can fairly ask: what the Hell is going on between you too?"

I lifted my head, up to see his face. Once again I had found myself crying in his arms. I have been doing that a lot lately, and he didn't mind. He always opened his arms, letting me cry all I wanted without ever pushing me in telling him what was wrong. He did questioned me about me staying at Luke first, wondering if I had runaway for my parents, but nothing more.

"I don't know."

"What happened to that 'we're-so-crazy-in-love' couple?"

"I never said I was ..."

"... You didn't have too. It was written all over your face. And his too. I'm even surprised he let you go like that,he seemed ready to take you away to another dimension."

Did he now? So why didn't he do so? Why didn't he take me away from this Hell I was living? Oh right, my last statement was not the best way to start a new life. So maybe I should start to man up and fix this life.

"I don't know Sebastian... I think I'll go to my parents, so maybe we can catch up later?"

"Good!" He smiled, apparently relieved that I was going back to my parents, and kissed me on the forehead. "Don't mind me not going with you, but your father scares the crap out of me!"

I smiled to what he said and he left me to the parking lot. Lately, he had been the only person able to make me smile and even chuckle sometimes, and I was so glad to have met him. He was so easy to talk to and turned out to be so reliable. During the whole past week, every time he had come, I had felt less pressured.

I humped on my Harley and decided that I'd go see my father first. I couldn't see my Mom alone, I couldn't see her happiness destroyed because of me, I needed back up, someone who would comfort her when I wouldn't be able to, and Dad seemed like the perfect person to it. Once in front of the house, I realized how much I had missed it. It had become a home to me, as much as my Mom's. I quickly sent a text to Luke to tell him not to worry and entered the house. As I passed the kitchen, I found my Dad sitting there in the growing dim, my sketchbook in front of him as well as a unopened bottle of scotch. He was looking to a drawing I had made of the four of us in the garden. Him and Mom swaying on the bench, while the kids were at their feet. We all seemed so happy, overwhelms me by glee. I looked up to me, noticed my helmet, frowned at my waist (I knew I had lost weight during the past week) but he seemed glad to see me.

"I've never seen any of your drawings. You do have a talent." I didn't say anything, I was too preoccupied by the bottle of scotch next to him. I had never seen him drink, and I didn't like what this bottle represented. Jace was right it hadn't been fair of me to shut them out like that. He noticed my staring at the bottle and smiled humorlessly.

"We have a tradition in the Morgenstern family. At your son's birth you buy a bottle of scotch, and at your daughter's, one of fine red wine." He took the bottle in his left hand and played with it. "I guess I've done it all wrong once again." I walked to him and took the bottle out of his hand.

"So I guess you'll have to buy me a bottle now. We wouldn't want to break the tradition, would we?" He smiled before getting up and pulling me into a bear hug that I quickly returned.

"I missed you Clary."

"I missed you too Dad."

I fought the tears that were coming to me and we let go of each other. He told me to sit in the chair next to his and went to the fridge. He came back with a bowl of fruit salad and told me to eat. I wasn't really hungry, but I did anyway in order not to upset him.

"Did you go see your mother." I shook my head no, and sadness gleamed in his eyes. "She needs you Clary, more than you need her."

"I don't want to go alone. I don't know what to tell her."

"I'll go with you." I immediately got up, ready to leave but he shook his head.

"You finish eating first."

When Mom opened the door to us, she pulled me into a warm hug. God I missed her so much. I thought that she'd cry, but she didn't. She just hugged me really tight saying that she was happy to see me. We all went in the living room and sat in an awkward silence. None of us wanted to talk about what drew us apart, and I was certainly not going to be the one to drag the subject. We just stared at each other until Dad got up.

"We should probably go and eat something, Clary will become transparent if she doesn't eat."

Did I lose that much weight? I tried to picture myself, but I couldn't. My Mom furiously nodded at his statement, and we all went out to eat, like a normal family.

~.o.O.o.~ Izzy's point of view.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! How did I end up in this situation? Me falling for Simon? _Simon_! He was supposed to be a fun distraction of the moment, and now I was longing to see him! Nooooo! Why was this happening to me? I always had been careful not to fall for anyone! Always picking the desperate cases, the ones you would never present to your parents. But the problem with Simon was that his addiction aside, he was nice. He wasn't a jerk like all the others, and more time I was spending with him, more time I was seeing this extremely nice side of him. The Simon that cared about people, the Simon who's a bit shy, the nerdy and geeky Simon, the Simon who made me swoon. Fuck no! I was not falling into this trap called love! Mom taught me better!

"You okay Izzy?" No! I'm definitely not okay! How about I just hang myself? "You know, you not talking during a shopping session is creepy. I think I'll have to call the doctor."

We were at the mall, trying to find a present for Max who was coming home earlier with a broken leg.

"Just thinking about some stuffs."

"Simon stuff?" Man, why did my brother had to always be so annoyingly right? Why couldn't he just be oblivious? I wouldn't mind.

"None of your business. We came here to buy Max a present, not to talk about my personal life!" He shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. He does that a lot when he is concerned, and so does Jace. How can they be so alike, and me not being anything like them. We did grow up together, but still when they were sometimes very much alike, they and I didn't share that much in common.

"If only Clary wasn't so out of it! She would have known what to buy him, they hit along just fine when they met."

"Just buy him a video game or a comic, and let's get out of here." Well someone was in a hurry to be rolling in glitter. "Or ask Simon, he sure is a lot like Clary."

Alec looked at me with a devilish smile. I swear since he started dating that glittery cat, he's become jauntier! Like I hadn't have enough with one cocky brother!

"This is not helping! We need to find something for Max ASAP!" He sighed and followed me in the comic book shop.

"You do realize that between you and Magnus I spent far too many time at the mall that I should ever had. Maybe you should go out with him."

"Gross!"

I shuddered at the very idea of being with someone else than Simon. And there I was again! This wasn't going well, not at all? What happened to me using guys as tissues? What happened?

"Alec how did you know?"

"How did I know what?"

"About Magnus?" He looked at me, thinking for a moment, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't know. I never thought about it. I just feel good with him, feel myself, and ... Well I guess that does it. I don't overthink things like you do. He makes me feel good, and that's enough for me."

"But that's not good enough!"

"Why not?"

"Because ... Look at Jace, completely losing himself over Clary even though it puts him in so much pain? If you had that with Magnus, would you still say that the few good moments you share worth it? It's not good enough. I don't understand why you guys are so eager to ... fall like that."

"Because it is worth it. You just feel it. When you're with the person you love, you just know it. You don't wonder if they're going to hurt you, you don't wonder ifs. You just feel the moment you share with them, and know that all the pain in the world is worth because they are right here right now with you." So that was love? What did I say about me falling for Simon? Everything that Alec said fitted with what I had with Simon. And apparently, it was worth all the pain in the world...

"I have to go somewhere." I left Alec dumbfounded and alone in the comic shop and rushed to Simon's. He opened his door to me, surprised like Hell to see me, his glasses a bit lop-sided and his hair as messy as usual.

"Izzy? What's wrong?" I grabbed his head and kissed him like I've never kissed him. I kissed him like stupid characters do in those stupid movies I always dreamed to be in.

~.o.O.o.~ Clary's point of view.

I stayed at my Dad's, not sure if Mom also stayed or not. God I hoped she stayed, they were so perfect together, and I hoped that the sparks she had in her eyes when she talked about their date didn't go away. I was in front of the school, pushing back the time I'd have to go in Literature. I didn't want to see the hurt I caused Jace in his eyes. Dad said that he called everyday asking if I was alright and that he came to see Mom everyday, comforting her when I couldn't. And there I was, accusing him to be selfish, when I was the one being a bitch. The bell rang, and I headed to class, not able to push it anymore. He wasn't in class, so I sat at our table, feeling sad and glad in the mean time. Sad that he wasn't here, but glad that I didn't had to see the sadness of his eyes. I posed my head on my arm, looking through the window: the vulture's wild imaginings about how Le Vicomte de Valmont and La Marquise Merteuil were getting on didn't interest me. On the contrary, they were frustrating! How could a teacher talk with so much details of the sexuality of some fictional characters? Apparently, I wasn't the only frustrated on this level. God I missed Jace's touch. His lips on mines, his mouth against my neck, his skin against mine, his breath blowing sweet words to my ears, his weight on me, his hands on my breast, slowly falling to my ... Suddenly someone touched my shoulder and I sat back instantly. I had fell asleep dreaming of Jace! _In class_! I looked next to me at Jace (when the Hell did he get here!), he was smirking at me, while the whole class was looking at me. I blushed at the idea that I could have done something embarrassing like snore, or drool, or _moan_. I pretended to look at my notes, thinking that I should try to sleep at night to avoid ever again this situation to happen ever again. The problem was: I couldn't sleep! Not without having nightmares of _him_! I had the feeling that I had retreated to this stage where sleep was not a luxury a could afford. And the worst of it was I didn't know how to change that. I would wake up in tears and sit by the window until the sun rises. When the bell rang, the vulture asked to talk to me. Great I was going to have detention for sleeping in class.

"Clary are you sure that you are ready to come back to class?" Ouh, that didn't look like detention material. His voice was soft, as if he was trying to be reassuring.

"What?"

"With your family situation and all, the staff would understand if you needed more time."

"My family situation?" Oh God! Did everyone in school knew about my fucked up life?

"Your brother's 'disappearance'." Oh, yes I remember now. He was supposed to be gone. That's what my parents told me. He was supposed to be dead or missing, I don't really remember what they said, just that I should play along. I shook my head saying that I was okay and left to my next class. As if I could be okay. If every teacher acts like that with me I swear I'm going to lose it! It's bad enough to feel awkward at home, I don't need to feel like that at school.

I joined Sebastian at lunch, not having found Izzy and played with my apple in my hands. He eyed me for a moment, silently scolding for not eating, but I ignored him, so he started talking about everything and nothing, knowing that I didn't want to get into the deep stuff. Izzy interrupted him at some point and sat in front of me while someone poked my shoulder. People should really stop doing that. I turned only to see ...

"Max! What are you doing here?"

"I broke my leg, so I'm staying here, and I didn't want to eat lunch alone, so I decided to eat here with the grown ups."

He had his right leg in a cast and was smiling to me with all his heart. I smiled back, really smiled, while Alec helped him sat next to me, before sitting next to his sister. I was happy to see him, in some way he was reminding me of Simon when we were younger with his Harry Potterish glasses and his addiction for comics and mangas.

"So how did you break you leg?"

"At soccer. I'm not very good after all."

"Or maybe you were so good that the others couldn't keep up and so you broke your leg for wanting to be all over the place."

"Yes, but I didn't want to pride and all." He smiled to me. God, this kid's smile was a ray of sun. Be was going to make girls swoon later! "Clary? Would you go in the comic shop with me after school? Because stupid Alec picked me the Smurfs as a welcome back gift!"

"That is something very wrong! How come you turned out so well educated in the matter of comics and you siblings are so oblivious of it! Such a shame." Alec mumbled something about Izzy ditching him and him picking the first thing he saw, and that made me look at Izzy with shock. Since when did she ditch shopping? "You know I'd love to take you pick up a real comic, but I'm on my bike and your broken leg forbids you on it."

"You would have taken me on your bike otherwise?!" There was so much glee on his eyes that I saw myself in him. I must have looked the same when I first ride a bike.

"Sure. But not now."

"Oh, but you can borrow one of our cars. Can she?" He turned pleading eyes to his siblings. Honestly, how could they refuse? He was the cutest thing ever

"I don't drive cars." They all looked at me, shocked. The truth was I didn't really had my license legit because I started driving with Jordan when I was 15.

"I'll drive you. Better keep Izzy out of the mall. Anyway, we better get going kiddo, or Mom will freak out that you're 'not back yet'."

Max got up grumpily and kissed my cheek thank you before following his brother. Izzy stayed, finishing her plate and chatting with Sebastian while I resumed playing with my apple. I was looking forward to spend time with Max, he was so nice that all of the sudden, it was like life itself was nice. Suddenly Izzy stopped her incessant blabbering to look me right in the eyes. I looked at her back and she said:

"So what is it with you and my relatives? First my brother, now my cousin!" Sebastian spit the water he had been drinking and I dropped my apple.

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view**.

I was waiting for Clary with Max in front of the car. I couldn't believe Alec set me up like that, pretending a last mis note forgotten date with Magnus. Max wouldn't stop talking about Clary. On how she promised him a ride. On how she was so nice. On how she was so cool. On how she was so fun. On how he kissed her. God, it was like the kid was in love. Clary, Clary, Clary. It was like I was hearing myself with more childish thoughts. Clary, Clary, Clary. All day long she had been on my mind, in the corner of my eye. I had came in late on purpose on her first class because I didn't want to have this awkward conversation about yesterday. I was chickening out because I was afraid of her next move. Dumping me. How would I be able to live if she did so? I couldn't! She did looked at me funny when I woke her up in class, almost with lust. Lust... I knew what she had been dreaming about: her breathing had become slightly raspier, her fingers dug into her palms, she bit her lip. Maybe she had been dreaming about me. Suddenly she appeared in parking lot and Max waved at her. She looked at me with surprise and I explained her how that traitor of Alec planted them. She shrugged and we all went in the family Jeep. She had lost weight. She could hide it all she wanted under her baggy cloths, but her face was skinnier. Under her eyes had appeared huge bags which told me that she didn't sleep much at home, hence the sleeping in class. All along the way Max talked to her, asking her questions I never thought she'd answer to like what was her favorite color, the first game she ever played, her favorite comic. Why didn't she dress like all the girls did, what were her parents like, what it was like to be vegan, did she had any siblings. At that she froze, and I turned my head to her. She seemed lost in her thoughts, completely forgetting about us. God, please tell me she was thinking no! She couldn't still think that he was her 'brother'! Brothers don't do what he did to her to their sisters! She eluded the question by asking him about what kind of comics did he wanted.

On our way back from the store, she called her Dad to tell him that she would spend a few hours at the auto shop. Once at the Institute I told her to wait for the keys and I dropped Max at our quarters. I found her in front of the shop, waiting for me with her bike. She avoided my gaze as I opened the door, and stepped in the shop. Out of the habit, I followed her, but it seemed that she didn't notice. She took her jacket off and started tearing her bike to clean it. But not completely, only the motor. She seemed oblivious of me as a I was aching for her.

"Damn it! Fuck!"

She had spilled oil all over her sweater. She looked at herself and took it off, lifting her shirt along the way. I don't know how, but suddenly I was against her and she was against the wall. I helped her take off the rest of her sweater and kissed her as soon as her mouth appeared. She kissed me back grabbing my hair in her fists and jumping on my waist. I tackled her, my hands on her ass, kissing her as much as missed her, feeling my cock getting harder and harder. She bit my lower, grinding against me and making moan. I tried to stop, uncaring her from the wall, but she resumed on kissing me, tackling at her turn against the wall of tools and undoing my trousers. She moan when she took my length in her hand, and I lifted her back against me. I was getting out of control, kissing her neck, gabbing her breast, undoing her trousers. And then, I let us fall on the ground. As she hovered over me, kissing me, she growled. Her hands in my hair me moaned again and again, grinding me and making it hard for me to contain myself. I quickly grabbed a condom in my pocket (since the day I had to pass on, I always had some on me), and she understood, standing up to undo her trousers as I put the condom on. As soon as it was on, she took me in her hand and guide me in her inner core. I growled her name as she was riding me, panting in my neck, her fingers clutching violently my hair, her walls tightening a bit more at each thrust. God I was already so close. I was scratching her hips, helping her to hump me harder and faster. And it was it. She screamed my name as I was biting her neck to avoid screaming myself. She rested her forehead on mine, panting as I was out of breath. I moved my hands from her hips to her waist to hug her. I rested my head against her chest, hearing her heart pounding like a mad man, while she leaned her chin on my hair. We stayed like that, only listening to her breathing as it quieted, when suddenly it hit me.

"You're Dad is going to kill me!"

~.o.O.o.~

**Hey, so here is the newest chapter, and for all of those who wonder about the so called 'love-triangle', let me just say that this is not a love triangle I am interested in developing. I only ship for one special couple, try to guess which one. **

**I tried to put a bit of Sizzy, and a glimpse of Malec, and I'll keep on that. And Max the return! Yay! **

** BookiesForLife, I really liked your review, and I guess that people are not that interested in giving their thoughts on the story. But I'm really glad you like it, and you'll keep on liking it for it is going to last for quite some time. **

** wannabewyler, don't worry, I hope that I am not THAT predictable. **

**Anyway, the only thing I own about the Mortal Instruments, are the copies in my flat**.

**Cheers**.


	31. Chapter 31

~.o.O.o.~** Jace's point of view**.

Her heart skipped a bit before she yanked herself out of our embrace to look at me, her hands on my shoulders and her eyebrows up.

"We just made incredibly rough and passionate sex, and the first thing you think of is _my Dad_!"

"I did just broke my promise..." She made an 'o' with her mouth, understanding my statement.

"Promises are made to be broken." She attached her arms behind my neck and kissed me. "I'm sorry for yesterday. I didn't mean it for you. I was just so angry, and you started to accuse me of things I didn't want to deal with and ..."

"... Shhh. I get it. It's okay. I love you." She shook her head and hid it in the creek of my neck.

"I'm sorry. I really am. It was just so ... fucked up." I started patting her hair and her breathing started to get heavier, as if she was going to cry. Then she brusquely got up rubbing her face and remounted her trousers. I did the same and took her in my arms. She was so frail, so small, so fragile. She hugged me back before turning back to her bike, putting it back together.

"I better get going."

"You're living back at your Dad's?" She nodded.

"And your Mom?" She stopped what she was doing, frozen. Didn't she wen to see her Mom? "You did went to see her, right?"

"I did, but it is so complicated." She turned her head to me. "What am I suppose to tell her? I don't want her to feel like she does, I just want her to be happy."

"And she wants the same for you. She cried a lot you know." She wiped her head back to her bike.

"I think she's staying with Dad. I hope she does. I don't want to chose between them." She got up, caressing her bike. She put on her helmet and humped her bike. "I better go. I'll see you tomorrow."

Max was reading that book that took them so long to chose. As soon as he saw me, he smiled to me, his smile enlightening the room, and posed the book to talk about his new favorite topic.

"Clary is so awesome! She said that she would draw the Joker on my cast. I can't wait!"

What did I say about him having a crush on her. I smiled back to him and went to take a shower. I was mixed about what had happened earlier. Sure we had made up, but not in the best way. What if she thought it was just a booty call? No, I told her I loved her. I told her countless times. She knew how much I loved her. No the only problem problem was now her Dad. If he knew that I broke my promise to him, I was a dead man. He _could_ kill me. I already saw in his eyes this murderous spark when someone touched his daughter. I got out of the shower, decided to clear this out of my conscience. Never had I lied before, I wasn't going to start now, and I went to her house. Once there, Valentine was out of the house before I could even get out of the car. He waited for me at the door, his face friendlier than usual. Well that was going to change.

"Coming for dinner?"

"Not really, I came to talk to you." He raised an eyebrow at me, and signed me to go on. I swallowed hardly and looked him in the eyes.

"I broke my promise. It was a stupid thing for me to promise." He looked at me for what seemed forever and then slapped me with the back of his hand.

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view. **

When I got back home, I found both of my parents talking in the kitchen. They looked at me as I walked in and I saw that my Mom had been crying. Her eyes were dry, but red. I put my helmet on the table and hugged her. What else could I do? She lost her son, having no say in the matter and I abandoned her when she needed me the most. Now I could only hug her to make her feel how much I was sorry and how much I loved her. She sat me at the table and served a piece of cake before sitting next to me while Dad was leaning against the counter.

"How was your day honey?"

"Nothing really interesting. Class were boring, as usual, with all the teachers keep on eyeing me like I was a bomb. And I went shopping after school." She doubtfully looked at me before glancing at Dad.

"You went shopping?"

"Yes. I can act like a normal human being sometimes. I went to the comic's shop to pick a book with Max."

"Oh, that explains it. Did you buy a book?"

I shook my head, playing with my cake with a spoon and she frowned. I knew what she was thinking. I was crazy about books and comics, and me going to a bookstore and not buying a single thing was extremely unusual. I used to beg her to buy me a book every week or so, and I haven't touched a book for a week. Nor a pencil for that matter. In Art I just silently sat at the back of the room, and waited for the hour to pass. She caressed my hair and severely looked at me for me to eat. I did what she told me as Dad said.

"You seem better than yesterday."

I turned my head to him, trying to stay unreadable and stoic to the insinuation of his voice. Come on, he couldn't know what just happened with Jace, could he? I knew there was this rumor about fathers knowing, but this was just impossible. He _couldn't_ know, he still thought that Jace was bound by his promise. Oh God, if he knew he was going to kill Jace. I smiled and shrugged, hoping that it was the best answer. Then I put the cake aside and took my homework out of my bag, saying that I had a ton of work to so, and that I'd rather do them there with them. They nodded and started cooking the dinner. It was beautiful to see how they were coordinating in perfect harmony without ever having to talk or watch at each other, it was as if they were sharing the same thoughts. I had once thought that Mom and Luke were a beautiful couple, but now, having my parents in front of me, I knew that _they_ were the perfect couple. Maybe one day I would have that with Jace, knowing him so well that our movements would be like one. After the kitchen started smelling nice, Mom told me to go get a shower for I was covered in oil. I did, blushing at the memory of what the oil spilling provoked. Jace sure knew how to bring things out of me that I didn't know existed. When did I became so wild that I would attack him in an auto shop, where everyone could have seen us?! All cleaned, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a bite mark on my neck. I prayed that it had been hidden by my sweater and that no one had seen it (and by no one I mean my Dad). I did two side braids in order to hide it as I could and put my pajamas on. Once I got in the kitchen, I saw Jace, sitting there and talking with my parents. Great, I was in pajamas, and he was looking as usual, gorgeous just with his jeans and grey shirt. I was about to go back upstairs and change when he looked at me, smirking at my pajamas (baggy Nirvana shirt and baggy boy's shorts). My Dad cleared his throat and Jace immediately looked away asking me.

"Ready to go to bed? Isn't it a bit early?"

"Well if you don't like me being in Jammie's, you can always go back to the Institute, and eat whatever Izzy would have cook!"

He shrugged at the idea of Izzy's cooking. I looked at my father, and he kindheartedly smiled to me. I helped my parents to set the table and we all ate.

"So Clary, Izzy was wondering if you had any plans for Christmas?"

"Christmas?"

"Yeah, you know that big thing that we do at the end of the year with lights and colors everywhere."

I glanced at my parents, asking silently the question. What will we do for Christmas? Because right now I wasn't feeling it, and I knew that neither were they. We had planned this trip to Europe in order to visit Dad's family house in Switzerland, but now...

"She's not dragging me into endless shopping sessions if that's what she's asking. I'm sure she'd start tomorrow if I agree to her crazy addiction!" He didn't add anything to it, understanding that it was a delicate subject, and I looked down in my plate, playing with my pastas. Dad looked at me, raising an eyebrow.

"You don't like your pastas?"

"I'm not really hungry. I ate quite well at lunch."

"Half an apple doesn't count as a qualified lunch!" I turned to fix Jace. How would he know what I ate or didn't for lunch, he wasn't even with us. He glared sternly back at me.

"Back on being a creepy stalker I see." I angrily planted my fork in my plate and shoved it my mouth. "Happy?"

"Better."

I ignored him and stared stubbornly at the table. I could feel everyone's gaze on me, and would have give anything for them to stop. Couldn't they just let me cope as I could manage to do? I felt angry tears building in my eyes and quickly swallowed them back. We finished eating with them still watching me. I was angry at Jace for snapping at me like that. It's not like I was starving myself to death, I was just not hungry. When the dinner was over, Jace proposed us as dishwashers, and my parents left us alone, getting that he wanted to talk to me, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to hear what I knew he would say, so I started washing the plates, decided to ignore him as long as I could. I knew it was childish, but I was still stuck in being angry with him for some unknown reason.

"You're not talking to me?" He took a napkin and wiped the plates, facing my obstinate silence. "If you think I'll stand by while you let yourself starve, you don't know me then. I'll shove the food down in your throat if I have to!"

"That would be romantic." He glared at me, not the least amused. "I'm not starving myself, I'm just not hungry. Why don't you get that?"

"Because it isn't you! You love food, you love cooking and you sure Hell love eating. Maybe not a lot, but you do in small proportions. And now, you ..."

"... I what Jace?"

"You turned into that unhealthy person! It is not healthy to eat an apple every once in a while! You look like a ghost! You're face is whiter, you got dark circles, you lost weight! God help me if I let you get down on this track!"

He seemed more upset than I was, literally shouting his words, and hurling in my face what I tried to hide. Again he was forcing me to see a reality I didn't want to face. My Dad popped his head in the kitchen finding us facing each other, red of anger.

"Jace can I talked to my daughter for a moment?" After glaring at me one last time, Jace left furiously the kitchen. "You know he's trying to help you."

"Are you actually defending him?"

"Well, apparently he only have your best interest in heart, and right now you're scaring all of us. You don't eat, you don't sleep, you don't draw nor read nor play. Maybe it is your way of dealing, but this way is scaring all of us."

"I don't mean to."

I turned back, pretending to go back on the dishes. I heard him leaving and felt guilt overwhelm me. I was being selfish trying to disappear in my little bubble and not caring who I hurt in the process. Who else was going to have to pay for my bad temper? I needed to get a grip on myself. I couldn't afford to lose anyone anymore. This was not how I was supposed to react. I was supposed to just let go of the past. No more anger or ghosting around. 'Just let go of the past, Clary'. There was no use on clinging on this stupid past. I could just forget. Like I did last time. Put everything in a box in my heart and let go.

"How long are you going to wash this glass?" I looked down on my hands, and saw that I had been washing the same glass for at least five minutes. I turned to see Jace with his jacket on.

"You're leaving?"

"There's no point in me staying if everything I say hurts you."

"You didn't. Please don't leave me." He was leaving. I didn't like the sound of that. It sounded a Hell lot more like he was leaving _me_.

"I'm not _leaving_ you. I'm just giving you space."

"I don't want space! I want you!" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"You want me? ... You never said anything like that before."

God, he was paying attention to what I was saying. I felt like an idiot all of the sudden for blurting that out of nowhere, but that didn't seem to faze him. On the contrary, he was grinning. He entered the kitchen and sat.

"Actually that was a lie. You did told me that you wanted me. But that was on a different context."

I blushed, quickly looking at the door to see if no one was coming. I didn't need my parents bursting in as he was talking about the way I acted when we were intimate.

"That's not funny Jace."

"With the face you had? You're right, it was hilarious."

"I'm not telling you anything anymore. Ever." He stopped grinning all at once and got up, frowning. Then he took me in his arms and kissed my neck.

"I'm sorry, you took me by surprise, but that didn't mean I didn't like you talking from the heart like that." He trailed his kiss up from my neck to my jaw, but right when he was supposed to kiss my lips begging for his, he kissed my _forehead_!

"Wouldn't want to piss your father anymore than he already is!"

"What do you mean? He seems just fine to me."

"Your father is a scary man Clary, and I don't want to unleash his wrath upon me."

What was he talking about? I thought they were getting just fine. That's when the honest side of Jace came back to me.

"Tell me you didn't!"

"As I said he's a scary man. I'd rather him being a little angry at me now, than murderous later!"

"You're all wuss!"

"All?"

"Yes! You and Sebastian. So afraid of this idea you have of him. He is actually really nice, if you come more often, you will see it." He didn't say anything about that, but I saw him frown at the mention of Sebastian. As well as I felt him stiffen.

"Is that an invitation?"

~.o.O.o.~ still Clary's point of view.

"I loved hearing you scream my name, it was exhilarating!Tu es à moi!" (You are mine)

He leaned back against me, his hand gripping my hair. "I know the first time is never nice, but now, now you'll like it. Now you'll scream of pleasure." He bit my ear lob before licking my neck. And all I could do was begging him to stop. He ripped my cloths and started kneading my breast, bruising me and making me scream out of pain. The more I screamed, the more I felt him harden against my hip so I bit my lips and tried to stay motionless, hoping that it would discourage him.

"Oh Clary, if only you knew. Never you will manage to stop me for desiring you. We are meant to be. It was written. We fit perfectly together, we are different and the same as the yin is to the yang. We are the beginning and the end. And because of that I am bound to love you, as you are bound to love me. It's in your genes, in your DNA."

I woke up, tears streaming on my face. I had learned not to scream from this dream. Always the same. Always the one where now I understood that I should have known. He had known. It was a fact. And he had told me, not in so many words, nut he had told me back then. How could I have been so stupid? And how could I have fallen for his game? His faint sadness and apologies? His faint shame and self hatred? The only thing that I was sure was real was his feelings for Mom. He had loved spending time with her, and I liked to think that what he had told me in the living room about her was true. But everything else had been a lie. I wiped my tears away and got up. I knew that I wasn't going to sleep anymore, so I went in the garden to sway on the bench. I laid there, looking at the stars and trying to thing at nothing when the first flake of snow touched me. I smiled so happy to know that soon the whole city would be covered in white, as if New York dressed in a white gown to go at a gala. I went back inside and sat at the French window to look at the garden whitening. It was so beautiful. This sudden apparition of white blooming in the garden, the little flakes twirling in an endless dance, shining as the moon and stars gleamed on them. The night started to get dimmer when I realized I wouldn't be able to ride. I hadn't change my wheels. I went to take a shower and then texted my only not to be stuck in the car with my Dad.

**Can I make a SOS call? **

**Figured you'd ask me that. Wouldn't like you to slip ;-). I'll pick you up in 10. **

**You're my savior! *o***

I went downstairs and picked an apple, decided to eat it. My Dad was already there, waiting for me in his coat.

"Oh, you don't have to, a friend is picking me up."

Great. Now he seemed disappointed as if he really wanted to drop me off. That could only mean one thing, he wanted to talk, and I was to afraid that he wanted to have THE talk.

"A friend?"

"Yup. He'll be here in five minutes."

"Jace?"

"No, why would he pick me up? He lives there. We have to think of the planet. It's just one of my friends that you scared to death." He chuckled a bit.

"I scare your friends?"

"You have no idea. Even Jace is scared of you, but he tries to play it nice."

"Well good for them. It means I'm doing a good job." We heard a car stopping in front of the house. "Come on, I'll walk you out and scare a little bit more your friend."

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view.**

When I got up and saw the snow, I called Clary to pick her up, but she said she had it cover. Meaning Valentine would drop her off. _Valentine_ not fucking _Sebastian Verlac_! Why was he always turning around her like a vulture? They emerged of his car together laughing about who knows what. As they walked, she slipped, almost falling, and he caught her up, wiping the flakes out of her hair. He told her something that lit her eyes with malice before she resumed laughing. Man, how I didn't like the idea of him making her laugh like that. When was the last time I made her laugh? It seemed like forever ago. Lately I seemed only able to make her cry and angry. When they arrived at my level, Sebastian let go of her arm. Was he holding her the whole time?! He kissed her forehead and said they'd see each other at lunch. Great so now, I had to watch her flirting with fucking Sebastian! That sounded a Hell lot like a date.

"You know I could have come and pick you up."

"No, Sebastian had it covered. We have to think of the planet. What is the point of you coming all the way when he doesn't live far from my place."

I didn't like the way she was saying his name. There wasn't enough detachment in it. I shrugged and after putting my arm around her we went to class. As we sat, I saw her glancing at the empty spot of the bastard that dared call himself her brother before looking at me.

"You know there's nothing between Sebastian and I. Right?"

"Isn't there?" I mean I saw her cry in his arms, laugh with him, let him kiss her, and they seemed to share this secret unknown to the world.

"Izzy told you'd say that. No there isn't a thing between us. It's just that we get along just fine."

"I don't think that's how he sees it."

"Of course it's how he sees it. Not everyone is as stupid as you and want to be with me. You're the one and only, and I'm more than fine with it."

Geez, how could she be so oblivious? How couldn't she see the guys drooling on her way? This girl wasn't normal! Izzy would have noticed. But she, she just didn't seem to see the impact she had on people. M. Aldertee's arrival prevented me on saying what I intended to.

All day long I watched her closely, seeing that she was trying to make efforts. But all I was really seeing was how bad she really was. Beside her refusal to eat, was her inability to sleep. Her Mom told me that she'd wake up every night and cry. That's something she didn't tell me. But it would explain why she would doze off in class, and always looked like a ghost. But what preoccupied me the most was how suddenly she stopped drawing. Usually she would always draw something in the corner of her papers, but now she just looked into space, trying not to fall asleep. When I came to pick her up at her Arts class, Alec looked at me, signifying he wanted to talk. I kissed her, telling her that I'd be right back.

"Don't worry, I'll be with Sebastian." Great (note the sarcastic tone). She left, not before glancing at Alec. Something had happened between them.

"What's up?"

"Did you know that she didn't draw anymore?"

"Yes."

"Doesn't it bug you?"

"What am I supposed to do? Plant a pencil in her hand and force her to draw?" Seriously, what was he thinking? That I didn't care?

"No. But you could help her. She literally cried when the teacher asked her to draw. She bursted in tears, saying that it was too hard for her."

"What do you want me to do? She doesn't want my help! She goes around, pretending that nothing happened, refusing to accept the reality of what happened!"

"Well force her to. It will be ugly, but if you don't talk about it, you will lose the Clary you know." And with that he left, leaving just one minute to get to class before the ring. She was sitting at our usual spot, her eyes warily looking at me. When our gazes met, she knew there was no escape and hid her head in her arms.

~.o.O.o.~

**Here was the last chapter. Hope you liked it. I'm trying not to put or talk about COHF, but aaaaaaah. **

**Anyways, this chapter was a bit weird, but don't worry, it will all come to a sense later on. **

**Everything goes to Cassandra Clare, as usual**

**Cheers**


	32. Chapter 32

~.o.O.o.~ **Sebastian's point of view.**

Jace arrived in class looking at Clary as if she was in the biggest problem of the world. Couldn't he just give her some rest? It wasn't like the girl hasn't been crying enough! Every time that I caught them together lately, she had been crying on my shoulder because of him. And now the way he was looking at her, I knew she was going to cry some more. I knew he wouldn't hurt intentionally, it was written all over his face, but the words he used with her were sharper than knives apparently. He quickly glanced at Herondale's desk, and when he saw that the old hag was still not here, he swiftly went to their table, grabbed her hand and forced her to leave the class, while everyone was oohing them. I immediately got up to help her when Mark shoved me back on my seat.

"You want to fight with _Jace_ over his _girl_? Do you have a death wish?"

I understood what he was saying. We had all seen Jace showing up every once in while with his knuckles bruised, or blood on his shirt. We all knew what would happen if we even looked at his sister in the wrong way. He wasn't a bully, but he was not someone you would like to mess with. Every person he ever fought ended up missing one week of school. Only Clary's brother escaped to the rule, but when he had showed up in class the next day, it was obvious that Jace would have won the fight if they hadn't had been stopped.

"I don't want to fight _over_ Clary." He scanned me before smirking.

"Man, this is so cliché!"

"What?"

"That love triangle that you guys have. You should know better, never you will take his girl away from Jace. Without even trying he already have all the school on his feet. I get it she's _hot! Smocking hot_! Especially when you see her humping that bike of hers, it only makes you wonder what else she can hump like that... And those moves she manages to do in PE... But you'll have to be patient like the rest of us and wait for Jace to get bored with her."

I shrugged of disgust at what he was saying. How could he think that Clary and I would ever ... Yuck. She was untouchable, just a friend. A fucking funny and nice friend going through a rough patch. But still, the way he was talking about her wasn't something I liked.

"Don't talk about her like that."

"Everyone talks about her like that. You should have seen her at Halloween... Just thinking about it make my pants feel tight!"

"Mark, shut up before I make your teeth fall!"

An attendant came in the room, saying Herondale wasn't going to be able to do her class. We all screamed of relief and left, but before leaving, I saw that her bag was still here. Great, now I had to drop it at her house. Meaning that if she wasn't there, I'd have to face her terrifying father! He was going to kill me for only giving him back his daughter's bag. Really Jace! Couldn't he have checked that she at least had her bag before stealing her away. I tried to call her first. Maybe they were still in school. But no answers. I went to her house and hesitated in posing the bag in front of the door, ringing and running the Hell away. Yes, I was being a chicken, but he was freaking scary! Her Mom opened when I knocked at the door. Even though she never introduced her to me, it was obvious that she was her mother. They looked the same. The same eyes, hair, figure. The only difference was that she was tall when her daughter wasn't. She absentmindedly smiled to me, making their resemblance scream even more.

"Clary is not here right now. She's still at school."

"I know, she just forgot her bag."

I gave it to her, so happy not to have to face her father. Her Mom seemed nice, an older version of Clary. In every way. When she took the back, she seemed on the verge to cry, her lips trembling and her eyes shining with tears building in them, and that's when her husband came behind her, scanning me as he saw me. What did I say about him being scary? As he gazed at me, I felt like my last hour was up.

"Where's Clary? Aren't you the one who picked her up?" There was no way I was going to die because of Jace.

"She ... She's with Jace."

I hoped that they knew about her relation with Jace and that I didn't put her in troubles. He frowned, apparently not liking what I said. His wife who had been shaking in his arms let a sight of relief and rested her head on his chest. He reassuringly wrapped his arms around her, making me feel like a creep watching that intimate moment between them. She regained her composure (they were even having the same ticks doing so), and looked at me, with the same sad smile I had so often seen on her daughter's face.

"Well thank you. I'll make sure to tell Clary that you dropped her bag."

"Sure. Goodbye."

~.o.O.o.~ **Valentine's point of view.**

"Phew, she's with Jace."

"Her being with Jace isn't something we should be happy about." When I was thinking of him coming just after having ...

"The more you'll try to keep them apart, the more they'll try to be together, and then we'll end up grandparents!"

"But she's just _16_! She's not..."

"I was 15 for our first time. I get it, she's your daughter, you don't want her to get hurt, but do you really think that he would hurt her? Jace, of all people? You know better than anyone how he gets for the people he care about. We can't do anything about that, except prevent her to get pregnant."

I couldn't understand why she was so keen to push our daughter in his arms, or in anyone else's arms for that matter. It would have been just great if she waited after my death to get interested in that area.

"Why are you so eager to push them in a bed?"

"Because I know my daughter. No won't cut it for her. I'm sure that if Jace broke his promise to you it was because of her. She needed it."

"I don't want to hear about her sexual needs."

"Yes you do. She needs to forget the way she feel, to take away the filth that she feels. And Jace helped her the same way you did. You can't be mad at him for being here for her, the same way you had been here for me. You raised him for ten years, maybe he didn't turned out to be the way you wanted him to, but his morals are yours, either of you can't deny that. He's acting with her the same way you did with me."

She was right, but I wanted so much her to be wrong. I couldn't help but fear that Jace's new attitude would eventually fade away, making Clary fall with him. But on the other hand, he had been caring for her and those she cared for when she couldn't. He took care of her junky of a friend, helping him not to fall back on the trail of drugs, he had come to see Jocelyn everyday when she locked us out, he was doing his best to make Clary deal with it, and he even tried to talk to me, telling me it wasn't my fault. If only he knew how much it was my fault.

Jocelyn put one of her frail hand on my face, telling me not to worry, and then she surprised me by kissing me. Never had I thought that she would because she knew how much it was my fault. I kissed her back, deepening our kiss and feeling Paradise crashing on me. This kiss wasn't like our last one, soft and gentle, full of incertitudes. No, this kiss was desperate and needy. She closed the gap between us, making me all too aware of her body against mine. Of her breast, her belly, her hips. And I stopped us, because I knew I wouldn't be able to go back if I kept this going on. She understood, and after quickly pecking me, she told me to call Clary back home for a snowstorm was on its way.

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view.**

"I won't do it. I'm not fighting you Jace."

We were on the ring, in the sports room, hands ready to fight, and I was decided that she wouldn't leave this room until she said all she had on her heart.

"It's either you hit me, either you talk to me."

"Either nothing! Bring me back home! I don't want to talk!"

She had shouted, her eyes teary and was walking out of the ring. But I was so not going to let her keep on living in this image of herself. I caught her by her waist and put her back in middle of the ring, my hands on her shoulders for keeping her on moving away.

"Too bad, I want to talk. What do you think? That you're the only one affected by this situation? What about your parents? What about your Mom you couldn't stop crying because she thought she had lost you? What about Simon who almost felt back in his old habits because you shut him out? What about Valentine who kept on blaming himself because you couldn't tell him it wasn't his fault? What about _me_? What about me Clary? What about me seeing you slipping away? What about me wanting to hurt him ten time more that he hurt you and not doing it because you wouldn't look at me the same? What about me not being sure that you love me anymore because I pushed you in something you didn't want to face? Because I looked in your sketchbook. Because you never told me. What about me Clary?"

I had shook her a little bit harder, shouting at first and feeling my voice becoming smaller and smaller at every word, before falling on my knees, realizing how much this whole mess had affected me. She looked down at me, her eyes dry, but full of anger, and then she turned to leave the ring again. I caught her up and forced her to look at me.

"Talk to me Clary!"

"What do you want me to say? That it hurts? That it hurts like Hell? That I don't know that everyone around me is hurt because of _me_! Because my _brother raped m_e! And he knew! All along he knew! And even I knew! He had told me! But I didn't understand back then! What do you want me to do Jace? Tell you that I can't sleep without dreaming of him! That I can't draw without my drawing becoming one with his face in it! That I can't play because he was the one who taught me piano! That I can't read because when my mind wonders, it goes to him! That I hate him more than I ever hated someone! Because twice he had made me fall for him. I loved him as a friend and he betrayed me! I loved him as a brother and he betrayed me! This isn't something I will ever be able to clean away from me! _MY BROTHER RAPED ME_! What am I supposed to tell people when they ask about him? What will I tell my children when they'll ask about my past? What should I tell myself when the situation is so fucked up? You wondered why I never told you that I love you? Because the last person I loved ended up being the person I hate the most! The person who hurt me the most! Look at me Jace! Look at what he had done to me! I'm less than nothing because he stole everything from me! My parents, my life, my peace of mind, you. I'm nothing!"

She had punched with me her small fists a little harder at each of her sentence, tears falling on her face. And now she was crying against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, letting her cry, knowing that it was the good thing for her to do. Let go of her anger, let go of her sadness. She needed to rebuild herself, and for the first she was admitting out loud that her life was messed up. For the first time she admitted that he had raped her, thing she had never done before, always eluding the question. She kept on crying against me, and when she started calming herself, I traced soothing circles in her back. She kept her head hidden in my chest slowly wrapping her hands around my torso.

"I don't want to hate you. Ever. I don't want to lose you Jace! I need you."

"Shhh. I'm here. You can't lose me."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because my heart is in your hands. You can only throw me away, never you will lose me. I'll always be here for you, wether you like it or not."

She lifted her head to look at me, her eyes sparkling of the remaining tears. I bent down to kiss her and she kissed me back. Nothing really passionate, just a kiss of love and comfort. I lifted her in my arms and sat her on the ropes. She wrapped her legs and arms around me, turning the kiss into something else.

"I love you. I love you so much, it feels like you bewitched me."

I resumed on kissing her back, not giving her the time to answer. I kissed her mouth while my hands were caressing her skin under her shirt, not liking what I was feeling. She had lost a lot of weight, I could feel it without even looking. It was as if she didn't even had skin, I could feel all her ribs, her spine as if I was touching a skeleton's. Suddenly, the Imperial March rang from the side of the ring. Dark Vader was calling me. He couldn't be as good as to know when I was that intimate with his daughter, could he? I let go of Clary and told her that I _had_ to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Where's Clary?"

"Boxing with me."

"Boxing?" He paused a moment. "You talked to her." It wasn't really a question nor an accusation, it was just a statement. "You need to get her back as soon as possible, there is a storm announced for tonight."

"We'll be here soon." I hang up, and Clary took me in her arms, hers small hands crossing their fingers on my stomach.

"So I see that now you are close buddies with my Dad, exchanging phone numbers and all."

"It's not like I had a choice!" I remembered when he ripped the number out of me after slapping me, saying that this would be one other way to keep an eye on my 'hormones'.

"Did he use the Force on you? You must be less strong minded than I thought."

She chuckled and kissed me before leaving the ring throwing on leg up the ropes, then the other. Good thing I didn't have PE with her, that kind of flexibility wasn't good for my health.

She felt asleep on the way to her parents, her head turned to the window for she was admiring the snow falling. I carried her back in her house, under her father's wary eyes and laid her in her bed. She was peacefully sleeping as I tucked her in.

"Is she feeling any better?"

"I don't know, but she should by now." Her Mom weakly smiled, patting my shoulder.

"You can stay if you want, we have spare rooms for you to sleep in."

I hesitated, and against all odds, agreed to it. She opened the room in front Clary's bedroom and told me to get comfortable as she would start to cook the dinner. I sat on the bed and texted Izzy that I would stay out for the night. I tried to take my mind off of Clary, but miserably failed. I was haunted by the same question: would she ever get pass this? She had seemed so submerged by her emotions that she seemed on the edge to explode. She was too confused about how she should react to this whole fucked up situation. Hell, _I_ didn't know how to react either! I wanted to kill him with every vibe of my body, but in the mean time, I knew that doing would ultimately hurt her. No matter how bad he had hurt her, she had had feelings for him. He had made her laugh, made their mother happy, shared with her a sibling complicity. I understood now that it was this part of him that she took back in her life, that she considered as her brother, dissociating her rapist Jonathan from her brother Christopher. Which was extremely wrong, they were one and same person, all along had been. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door, and Valentine appeared in the room. Okay, so maybe it hadn't been such a great idea to stay. They were so many things he could do, and he had a huge garden in which he could easily dispose of my body.

"So I hear you are to spend the night here." I nodded, not trusting my voice. He was against the light, making him even scarier than he already was. He closed the door and leaned against it.

"I hope that you get that _this_ is the room you are meant to stay in." I nodded again, understanding his insinuation: don't touch my daughter.

"Why do you love her so much?" This was not something I had expected. Especially not from him! I didn't even thought about it, blurting out my feelings for her.

"I don't know. Why does fire burn? Why does the Earth spin? Because it's natural. It's natural for me to love her. It's like breathing. She's my sun and stars. My everything. When she's hurt, I am hurt too. When she's happy, I am thrilled. When she's sad, I am desperate. I don't understand it, and I don't want to. I just want to be with her, and even you can't stop that." He pinched the bridge of his nose and heaved. I was a dead man!

"So me threatening you in every way possible to stay away won't work."

"Nope."

We stayed silent like that for a moment, me seeing that my chances of survival were getting thicker. He smiled to himself, which surprised I rarely saw him smile, only to his daughter and to her Mom, and then he took me by surprise. Again.

"Why didn't you ever asked me why I left you to the Lightwoods?"

And there it was, the conversation I had tried so hard to avoid. I thought about it for a second, wondering how he would react to the truth.

"Because I don't want to know. I buried my Godfather long ago. To me, you are just Clary's father, nothing more. I don't want to know because it might make me hate you, and me hating you would endanger my relation with Clary as well as yours with her. And how much as this is awkward for all of us, she loves you too much for me to start a war with you."

"You really do love her. And you're right you don't want to know." Great, now that he said that, I wanted to know! He opened the door behind him and left not before looking at me one last time.

"Oh, and Jace? Jocelyn and I are not ready to be grandparents."

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view.**

I woke up crying as usual. Would this dream ever stop? It didn't seem like it would. I got out of my bed, wondering how I ended up there. Last time I checked I was sleeping in Jace's Jeep. He must had taken me home and left. I stumbled to the shower, and let the water rain on me, washing away this awful dream. Then I got back in my room and put on some shorts with a tank top. It was boiling, so I guessed that my parents had turned on the heat. I spotted my phone and checked the time 8:39. I missed dinner. Hopefully Jace wasn't here, he would have made a whole new scene out of me missing yet another meal. I saw that Sebastian had tried to call me as well as my Dad, and that I had a text from Sebastian.

**I hope I didn't put you in any troubles, but I told your folks you were with Jace. Hope you're still alive and allowed to go out. **

It had been sent three hours ago. Probably by the time I had been dropped home. Three hours of sleep, that was the longest I had slept in a week. I tapped on my phone, letting Sebastian know I'm alive.

**Don't worry. My folks are cool with Jace, they know him. C**

**Are they? Because your Dad didn't seem really happy to know you were alone with a guy. S**

**No, he likes him, but he doesn't want to show it. Have to keep the scary father figure. It's not funny otherwise! C**

**Haha. Hope Jace didn't make you cry though. S**

**He did, but it was for the good cause. Now I think I'll less cry on your shoulder. Good thing because I must have soaked all you shirts. C**

**:-). If you're better, it's okay then. BTW we might not go to school tomorrow! S**

**Why the hell not? C**

**Snow storm tonight! S**

**YEAH! At the first flake I'll text you! C **

I looked at the window, disappointed that it wasn't snowing. The sky was clear, but it allowed me to see all the stars. I ran in the garden, not caring of the cold burning my bare foot for the snow was freezing, and I looked up, watching the stars disappear under thick dark clouds. It was about to snow. I could feel the difference of atmosphere, the drop of temperature, I could literally _sense_ the first flake falling before it touched me. And when the snow started to heavily fall, I giggled and started spinning on myself like a child, and watching the sky as it made snow fall on me.

"It's not because your hair are like fire that means you're cold proof."

I stopped all of the sudden at Jace's voice, making me fall on my ass. He was next to me in a second as I spotted my parents walking to me behind him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I guess it's my stalky vibe."

He kissed swiftly my temple before helping me get up. Dad said that we better head back in the house, but I was so not having it. I felt childish, as if Jack Frost had infected me with the Magic of the Snow. I gathered a snowball in my hands, still ignoring the cold, and under Jace's surprised eyes, I throw it at my father. He turned to look at us, shock written all over his face, and I pointed Jace, as if he was the guilty one, trying to hide my laugh. He didn't say anything and turned back while Mom was telling him not to do it. Do what? Suddenly, a snowball hit Jace on the face and I bursted of laughter.

"You think this is funny? I'm so going to make you pay!"

I screamed and ran to hide behind my Mom, sticking my tongue to him and daring to throw the huge snowball that he had in his hand. He hesitated a moment when at the last moment my own Mom betrayed me and dodged the snowball. It hit me in the face with such a strength that I fell backward, laughing my lungs out.

"Clary? You okay?" Three worried faces were looking at me, while I was crying out of laughter.

"I haven't felt so alive in a long time!"

Jace helped me get up and we went back inside as the wind was starting to make the flake of snow violently twirl. Mom told me to get out of my wet cloths and take a hot shower. When I got back to my room, I found Jace on my bed, a tray of food in front of him. Thank God I got dressed in the bathroom.

"Sebastian's been texting you." Damn! I forgot about me texting him for the first flake! I send him a quick text, telling him that Jace was at my place, and then I sat in front of Jace.

"Does my Dad knows you're in my room?"

"Geez, you have to make this awkward don't you?" I chuckled and took the bowl of soup he was giving me. "Did you sleep well?" I shrugged, knowing what he was implying. He didn't have to bare my own nightmares. "I wish I could make something about that."

"You could always ... fuck me to sleep..." Where did I get so bold?

"You shouldn't say that word."

"And why not?" Without even knowing it, he had reminded me of Christopher, and his aversion of me saying cuss words.

"Because when you say fuck, you turn me on. And your parents are downstairs."

"Oh. So me saying fucking fuck fucking turn you on?"

He decided to ignore me, and I looked down the tray, searching for other way to tease him. A banana and a glass of hazelnut milk! Who ever put that in had my eternal gratitude. I picked up the banana, looking at Jace all along, while he was begging me with his eyes not to do it. I smiled, peeling delicately the fruit, biting my lip as if it was the best thing ever, and I slowly slide the banana in my mouth, moaning, imagining what effect it could have on him. He changed position as I slowly squeezed my lips around the fruit, and he moaned, unable to look away. Once I had a piece in my mouth, I drank from the glass, letting some spill on purpose on the corners of my mouth. Then I swallowed as he looked at me, lust darkening the gold of his eyes.

"That was fan-fucking-tactic! Don't you think?"

He growled and I got up and pick up the tray as seductively as I could, bending and showing him my cleavage. Then I left him in my room, with a visible hard-on. Maybe I was evil after all, but I loved knowing that I could turn him on like that, without really trying, or showing much skin. I arrived in the kitchen, a stupid grin on my face. Both my parents were talking, sitting in front of one another, and holding hands. Which they stopped as soon as I entered the kitchen. I put the tray next to the sink, and sat on the counter under my father's disapproving look to finish my banana.

"You don't have to stop for me. If you want, I can go back upstairs."

Mom blushed as Dad straightened on his chair. What were they playing at? I had saw them sleeping in the couch together, cuddling like a young couple. It's not like I wouldn't take well the news, on the contrary.

"Where's Jace?"

"Upstairs. I think he needed to get rid of something." Smooth Clary! Really? What was I thinking? Better tell them what you were doing to him, it'd be quicker! Dad nodded, still looking at me. I was in big troubles.

"Well as he's _busy_, I think we should have THE talk."

I looked in panic at Mom, hoping she would come to my rescue, but she looked at me with the same exact expression as Dad's. Awkward was on its way.

"I don't want to have this talk either. I'd hope to never have this talk, but here we are. So let me tell you that the idea of my 16 years old daughter being sexually active is not something that I like, for many many reasons. But mostly, because I don't want to hear 'Dad I'm pregnant.'!" I gulped, hoping that the awkward was almost done.

"Don't worry, I don't think you'll hear that sentence ... Ever." Mom frowned as Dad smiled, happy to see I understood what he implied.

"Why not ever?"

"Because... Just because." Jace saved me from this awkward conversation by showing up. "Because Jace is too full of himself, we can't allow that to reproduce."

Jace questioningly looked at me while Dad turned to acknowledge his presence. Mom kept her gaze on me, and I knew that she wouldn't drop the matter. But what was I suppose to tell her? That I felt that my genes had something wrong in them, and that's why my brother had taken advantage of me? I couldn't do that. I left the counter and tidied the tray.

"Well, as I was the one who ended up on the floor attacked by a giant snowball, I should be the one to pick the movie."

"We're watching a movie?"

"Yes Dad. That's what we always do with Mom for the first night of snow. So I propose Juno." Jace looked at me with a 'are you serious?' and shook his head.

"I'm not watching Juno. No way in Hell!"

"I was joking. I feel more Stephen King-y tonight." My parents shrugged and said they would chose a Stephen King adaptation, leaving us alone as I was washing my dishes.

"Juno? You want your father to kill me!"

"It was a joke Jace. Relax. Feeling any better?"

I turned to him, smirking like he so often smirked to me. He crossed the distance between us, and cupped my face in his hands. Then he trailed the fingers of his right hand down my jaw, my neck, my breast, pinching my nipple on way, and making me moan, as he leaned slowly to kiss me, but without actually kissing me. I pressed my body against his, begging more of him, having totally forgotten that my parents were also in the house. His lips were millimeters from mines, and I closed my eyes, almost already tasting him when he whispered ever so softly:

"You've been a really naughty girl Miss Clarissa Adele Fray. You should be punished," I could feel him getting even closer. "But not now, now you can just suffer as I suffered!" And with that, he let go of me, smirking as his usual self.

~.o.O.o.~ **Alec's point of view. (Youhou Alec!)**

Clary, Clary, Clary! The kid wouldn't shut up about her. Before it was Jace, his hero, and now he was replaced by Clary. We were eating a takeout from Taki's with Izzy, and everything was about her. Izzy looked at me, smiling and rolling her eyes, also tired of Max's rambling. Suddenly something he said stroke me.

"She's going to draw the Joker on my cast."

"I don't think she will Max. She's really sad now, she doesn't have her mind on drawing."

"But she _promised_. I know she will."

I dropped it, knowing how stubborn he could be. That was something he took from Jace. Sure Max looked like a mini-me, but in character he was a mixture of Jace and Izzy, maybe not the best combo you would think, but he managed to take only the good stuffs out of them.

I got up, and left them in the kitchen knowing that Magnus was waiting for me in front of the Institute. He wanted to take me somewhere where I would appreciate the first snowstorm of the season. I joined him and kissed him as soon as I saw him, leaning him against the door. His hands went to my ass and squeezed it when I heard my father's voice:

"You kids better come inside. There's a snowstorm coming." I looked at him, unsure of what he saw. He turned and slowly turned back, analyzing Magnus and noticing him as a guy.

"Alec were you just kissing that ... person?!"

~.o.O.o.~

**So here it is, I cleared the situation between Clary and Sebastian. They're friends because friendship between girls and boys DO exist. **

**So now I guess Clace are in a good place, aren't they? **

**I know Valentine's and Alec's chapters are shorts, but I had to do like that. It's not funny if I give you all the informations right now! **

**And for all Luke's lovers, don't worry, he'll come along, just not now. **

**You all know about the credits and me not owning anything but the plot. **

**And of course, thank you again to all of you who follow, favorite and review this story.**

**Cheers**


	33. Chapter 33

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view.**

I ended being in the most awkward situation I ever thought I'd be in. Her in my arms, on the couch watching Misery with her parents sitting inches apart on the other couch (Valentine glancing at us every once in a while). Clary was living her movie as if she was a character in it, wincing out of pain when Paul got his feet hammered. At that point her mother got up and said she was going to bed, and I saw her father being torn between leaving too with her and staying to keep an eye on us (as if I would touch her, when he was in the same house as us, knives fulling the kitchen drawers!). He finally chose for the former, and when he finally left the room, Clary cuddled a little bit more against me.

"I don't get them."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm sure something happened between them, but they're doing as if they're still ... estranged?"

She wasn't sure of the word she used, but I knew what she meant. Their relation was strange. As if they were afraid to express their feelings.

"I'm sure they're in the same bedroom right now. They slept together on the couch last night, you know."

"Clary, I don't want to think of your parents sleeping anywhere." She shuddered.

"Not like that you perv'! Anyway, it was the other couch. But what I mean is that something happened and now they're closer. The thing is, Mom didn't tell me anything. She used to tell me everything!"

"Did you tell her what we did yesterday in the auto shop?" Even though her head was turned to the TV, I could tell that she was blushing.

"No. I guess you're right, I don't want to have that much of an insight of what's going on."

I wasn't listening to what she was saying anymore. The memory of what had happened the day before and earlier in her room had arouse in me a deep desire of her. I could feel myself arise a bit more than I should when she turned her head to face and smile to me. God, those green eyes of hers were a calling for temptation. She lifted her head to kiss me, and even though I knew I shouldn't, I still kissed her, straining my hand in her hair. She responded instantly, wrapping her hands around my neck, and sitting on my laps. I felt her lips spread in a smile when she felt my semi-hard and she deepened our kiss, trailing her hands up and down my whole body. I obstinately kept my hands to her face and hair, knowing what would follow if I let my hands wonder on her body. She entered my mouth, her tongue playing with mine as she started grinding on me, her fingers gently scratching my chest under my shirt. I brought her face even closer, trying to make her melt into me. Sensually, she left my lips to suck my collarbone, making me moan and harden more.

"We should stop before this gets out of hands."

She had abruptly stopped, resting her forehead against mine, slightly panting. Then, she posed her head in the creek of my neck, her hair hiding her face to me.

"Jace ... Can I sleep with you tonight?" What? Did she want her father to kill me during the night?

"I'm not supposed to sleep in your room."

"Well, no one told me anything about me not sleeping in yours... I just don't want to sleep alone..." Damn it, how was I suppose to tell her no? This girl was going to be the end of me. I got up and took her hand. She smiled and after she switched off the TV, we went to the room that had been assigned to me. Once in the bed, she cuddled against me, thanking me for not leaving her alone. I caressed her hair, trying to ignore my desire and reasoning myself by the presence of her parents in the house. The storm was raging outside, so I didn't hear what she told me at first.

"What?"

"Nothing, I was thinking out loud."

"And what were you thinking about?"

"Instincts. And how strong they are." I looked at her silhouette sitting and I did the same. "... Back then, everyone thought that we were together because we were getting along so fine. Even Simon thought so. But we were just buddies, real close buddies. And back then I already thought of him as my brother. As that big brother I never had the chance to have, the one who would beat up anyone messing with me. And when he ... when he tried to kiss me, I knew it was wrong. Back then all my instincts already knew how wrong this was. It was as if they were screaming to me 'He's your brother! This is wrong!'."

"Clary..."

"I'm just wondering why they didn't work with him." I passed a hand in my hair before pulling her in my arms.

"You shouldn't beat yourself with that. He's ... abnormal and twisted. Even your father said so. You can't think like that. You can't think of him as your brother. Your brother is dead. You should bury him."

She laid back in the bed, telling me I was right in a voice full of sleep. In no time she fell asleep, her hand in mine. How I wished to be able to fall asleep like that too. Instead, I was stuck with all those thoughts in my mind. Clary. Valentine. Her mother. That asshole. Me. God, this situation was fucked up. I laid next to her, not bringing her closer to me, only keeping her hand in mine, and tried to find sleep.

I woke up at dawn, the bed cold and empty next to me. I rolled on my back, fisting my hair in my hands. I knew that if she left like that it was because she had another nightmare of him. And I hadn't been able to help her with that. She had asked me to sleep with her for me to support her, and I hadn't been able to. I got up, and went to see if at least she had been able to find back sleep in her room, but her room was as empty as my bed. I looked for her everywhere and found her in front of the French windows, a blanket wrapped around her, looking at the white garden. I stayed back a bit, not sure of what to do when she said:

"Back on being a creepy stalker I see."

"How did you know it was me?"

"Your footsteps, their extremely light, but steady in the mean time. Like a lion." I sat next to her, and she offered me some space under her blanket.

"Did Valentine told you to recognize footsteps?" She shook her head, looking at me questioningly. "I thought so, he taught me when I was four." She smiled, turning her head back to the window.

"He taught me how to pick a lock though. Saying 'you never know'. And I'm currently learning German."

"Deutsch?" (_German_?)

"Ja. Mit ihm aus der Deutsch-Schweiz." (_Yes. With him being from the German part of Switzerland_.)

Oh, so maybe this was why he was so into teaching me this language. I didn't even know that he was Swiss, never asked him when I was young. She rested her head on my shoulder and sighed, her voice heavy with sleep.

"Did you get any sleep?"

"Maybe an hour, maybe less. I don't count anymore. It's useless."

"Maybe you should ask your parents for pills." She shuddered under the cover before putting her knees up to her chest and her forehead on her knees.

"The only drug that will go through my body are contraceptive pills... Speaking of which..."

"Yes?"

"I think we should go get tested?"

It was a question as much as a statement. I turned my head to her, not sure of what she was implying. She had raised her head, looking stubbornly through the window.

"My parents made it very clear that they didn't want to be grandparents, and ... God this is awkward. I want to feel you Jace. _Really_ feel you. I don't want to be stopped in the middle because we have to be safe not to have to swallow my frustration because we _can't_ be safe. Oh please say something, I feel so stupid right now!"

"You'd be my first."

"What?"

"My first as in no-condom. We should go this afternoon. If the snow allows us."

She nodded before suddenly getting up and going to the kitchen. I followed her there after putting the folded blanket back on the couch. She was making pancakes, humming an unknown song, a banana on the counter. She had to be kidding me! She caught my eyes and laughed.

"It's for the pancakes you perv. Not every phallic object have to end up in my mouth."

"Well, you made such a point in demonstrating otherwise yesterday night."

"What yesterday night?"

Clary smiled to me as her father entered the kitchen. He kissed his daughter's forehead as she quickly hugged him, love emanating from them and sat in front of me, glaring at me. He was about to reiterate his question, but she cut him off, serving him a plate of pancakes and kissing his forehead.

"Nothing you want to know."

She gave me a plate, and set a plate to her father's right before sitting herself to his other side, placing herself between the two of us. She started eating her pancakes and her mother arrived. Two minutes after her father. Clary looked at me with a 'you see' kind of look and resumed eating her pancakes after her Mom kissed her forehead before sitting where Clary had set her a plate.

"So as the storm stopped, Jace and I decided to go on a date."

"A date?"

"Yeah. Try to fit this cliché we have of young couple and all." Her Dad glanced over me before turning his head back to his daughter.

"Is this about yesterday's talk?"

She nodded to him, telling him silently something that I couldn't understand. I was almost jealous of the way they could understand each other without saying a word. Suddenly my trousers rang Girls Just Want To Have Fun turning all the regards to me, Clary chocking of laughter. I was going to double kill Izzy! First to put this stupid ringtone on my phone, then to ruin this moment I was having with Clary and her family. I picked up, gritting under my teeth.

"Izzy, this is better be good!"

"Jace, Dad throw Alec out!" Without realizing it I was up. I asked her to tell me more, but she just told me to come back. I hang up on her and looked back at Clary and her parents.

"Go. If Izzy needs you, you should go."

"I'll come pick you up at 2pm."

I was about to kiss her temple, but she swiftly turned her head to kiss me on the lips. I quickly left, not able to know what could have come over Robert to throw his elder son, his perfect son out!

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view.**

After Jace left, I quickly left the kitchen, not wanting to be drown by awkward questions. I knew that Dad hadn't dropped the 'yesterday night' issue, but I didn't feel up to have a normal conversation about it. I was extremely tired, so I went back to bed, shivering at the feeling of the cold sheets. Once nicely tucked, slumber fled me. I found myself thinking of Jace and I. On how desperately and deeply I fell for him, even though I've known him for barely two months. On how after him just leaving I was already craving for his presence, his smell, his touch. I put a pillow over my head and screamed out my frustration. I didn't want to be this girl. So desperately in love, but here I was. At least I wasn't reduced to write our names in little hearts in the corner of my notes. Jace was driving me crazy! There were no other explanation to my behavior. Suddenly, someone knocked on my door, and my Mom's head popped in the room.

"Sleeping?"

"Not really."

I sat up as she came in the room and sat in front of me on the edge of the bed. She smiled to me as she always did lately. A small smile trying to hide her pain, but that couldn't quite manage to do it. We stayed quiet a moment, only looking at each other, each noticing things we didn't like on the other. She also had lost weight, and she seemed exhausted, but at least her eyes weren't red anymore. But this glow she had been having for the last past two weeks was gone. She frowned watching me, then finally talked.

"So I guess I'm a bit late for that mother-daughter talk?"

I looked away, not really sure were this was going. It wasn't really awkward for I had shared so many things with my Mom, but it wasn't something I'd like to share with her. What Jace made me feel like should be a thing only him knew about.

"I guess."

"I guess I should have known... He changed you a lot." I looked at her, disagreeing with her. "He did. You're more open to people. More aware of yourself. But mostly you're happier. Your Dad don't know the difference, but I do. I've known you all my life, and never had I seen you as happy as when you are with him."

I shrugged. What else could I do? I knew she was right. I knew that he was making me happy, even when he shouted at me or forced me to face things and feelings I didn't want to face. She smiled again.

"All of this to say: be safe. Not only not to get pregnant, but also ..."

"... It's already taken care of. I'm not _that_ irresponsible."

She smiled in approval and got up to kiss me on the forehead, telling me to get some rest. Then she left the room, but I wasn't sleepy at all. Her presence had brought to me all the questions I had been asking myself about her and Dad. Where were they? Was there a future in them? Because I really liked this idea. I felt that, them taking such baby steps had something to do with me, and decided that I would stay at the Institute for the night to give them space to think. Maybe if they didn't have to worry about me bumping in, they would finally lay what they had on their minds... Lay, wrong choice of words. Jace was right, I spent to much time thinking about my parents love-life! I shuddered and tried to find some sleep.

I woke up with a start, tears already rolling on my face. Great now I was crying even before waking up. This was never going to get better! I had hoped that Jace's reassuring and warm arms would have helped me out of this, but it didn't. And now I was crying, _again_, not really sure of why. Why was I crying for that person who had pretended to be someone he wasn't to me? Why was I this weak when it came to this bastard? I got up and went to take a shower before hesitating in front of my wardrobe for the first time in a long time. Even though it wasn't a fancy romantic date, it would be the first time Jace and I would be out in the open in a common accord. I wanted to put jeans on, but they wouldn't fit. I really needed to get back my weight! I opted for Izzy's dress, the one she had given me at my first night at the Institute. Now that it wasn't hidden by jeans and a sweater, I could really appreciate it. The green of the dress reminded my eyes, the only thing breaking it being a large black belt in the middle (which traced my waist in a way I didn't like, too skinny). I pulled together with it a green waistcoat of the same color and hesitated a moment before putting on heels. Then I looked at my face, and decided not to put any makeup. If I had put lipstick, I wouldn't be able to kiss him, and I didn't really wanted to spend more time than I should preparing for this 'date'. As I was doing my bed (yes, my Dad had finally faded on me!), I found a little box of contraceptive pills. I blushed and felt a bit odd at the idea of my parents being okay with me having I looked at the time and quickly went downstairs. Jace should be there in about fifteen minutes. I found my parents in the living room, talking and stopping as soon as I came in, my coat and school bag in hand. Dad looked at me, noticing by raising an eyebrow me being in a dress.

"So Jace should be here any minutes now. Just to let you know we're going to be responsible people and get tested. So now that this part of awkward is done, I'll had some more ..." God this was awkward! "I'll let you alone tonight to figure out whatever you have two have to figure out. Don't want to know how you do it, I just know that you need to talk. So see you tomorrow."

And I quickly left, rushing to the entrance door. Once outside I waited for Jace who showed up half a second later. Praised the gods, the old ones and the new ones, like that I wouldn't have to wait and have the misfortune to have to talk to my parents about what I just said. As I got in the car Jace eyed my outfit, but didn't say anything, just kissing me when I had put my seatbelt on. Then he started the car.

~.o.O.o.~ **still Clary's point of view.**

"I'll call Sebastian, don't worry."

He frowned at that and I reminded myself that he didn't really like Sebastian. Well, that I didn't know, but I knew he didn't like us spending time together. Too bad Sebastian was someone I actually cared about and I wasn't ready to throw him away for a guy. Even if this guy was Jace. We were outside the social clinic, both positively sure to be negative.

"Go see your brother. I actually have things to say to Sebastian."

"You saw him yesterday. What more can you tell him?"

"That you and I patched up. He was really eager to see us make up."

"Was he now?"

I could see how torn he was between going to see his brother, and staying with me to keep me away from Sebastian. But it's not like I was giving him a choice, his brother had to come first. Whatever the problem was, his brother would always come first. I kissed him to reassure him, and he kissed me back with force and gentleness in the mean time. He tackled me against his Jeep, begging to enter my mouth, and took possession of it once I gladly complied. His hands tangled my hair, bringing my face closer to his while my hands were scratching his back through his shirt under his jacket. I felt myself melt as one of his hand went to my ass, and that's when I stopped our kiss.

"Go see your brother."

"I'll explain you later, it's just that..."

"You don't have to explain to me anything, your brother needs you, you should already be there."

He sighed and insisted on, at least, drop me at Java Jones. On the way there, I texted Sebastian to join me there, and when we arrived at the coffee shop, he was already waiting for me, outside. I kissed Jace goodbye and got out of the car to join Sebastian.

"Please tell me this is not a post break up call."

"No! He just needs to hang out with his brother, and me having released the house to my parents, I'm not so eager to go back there." Sebastian laughed as we entered the coffee.

"So everything is back to normal in Paradise?"

"You could say that."

"Cool. Nice to see you smile like you mean it. You were starting to turn into Wednesday Addams. The only thing missing was the hair color!"

I stuck my tongue out to him and we talked about everything and nothing. He seemed a bit off to me, and he kept on glaring at some people, but I didn't dare ask him about it. He had let me deal with my problems my own way, I couldn't really thank him back by doing the exact opposite. After hours of talking and walking around (we had taken a coffee and had walked around the blocks), he proposed to drop me off, but I asked him to drop me at the Institute. Izzy would go frantic to see me. But she wasn't there. No one was. So much for me being a surprise and all. I went to Jace's room and decided to wait for him there, avoiding at all cost to go back home.

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view.**

Fuck, fuck, fuck! Now she was back with Verlac! This day couldn't get any worst. As I rang at Magnus' house, I couldn't forget her face as she was telling me to go see my brother, half pushing me into the car. I knew she was disappointed that I left like that, but she had been the one who told me to go when she saw my bad mood. She didn't even asked what it was about, just told me to go see my brother for he was important. And I knew what it was implying: she'd wish that the situation could have been reversed. Why did Robert had to be such a dick on this particular day? Magnus opened the door and scanned me before allowing me in his house. Alec was just behind him, bags under his eyes as a proof that he didn't sleep. And with the exhaustion written all over his face, it wasn't for the good reasons. Magnus disappeared in another room saying something about giving us space.

"What are you doing here Jace?"

"What do you mean what am I doing here? Robert throw you out, and you don't even call me! What am I to you? Your neighbor?!" He scratched the back of his head, looking at his feet.

"I thought that he would have come to his senses by now. Didn't want to worry you."

"Worry me? You deserve slaps in your face! Anyway what did happened?"

"Izzy didn't tell you?"

"Izzy's been hysteric saying that he throw you out because you're gay."

"Well, she's right. He saw me kissing Mags yesterday night, and he throw me out saying that as long as I was having 'obscene' desires as such, I wasn't allowed back in the house."

I couldn't believe Robert's bad faith. When he goes around and fuck anything with a skirt, he dares getting mad at his son for screwing the person he loved! I tried to calm myself, but couldn't, only building more anger within me.

"Jace it's okay. I just have to give him time and he'll come around."

"Fuck that! You don't throw your kids out because they're gay, you throw them out because they've done the irremediable! What is he thinking?"

"Jace don't even think about it!"

I knew what he was saying. I was already halfway to the entrance door, ready to give a Robert a 'piece of my mind'. I didn't listen to him, and left while he was cursing at me to get back. Once the motor of the car roared, I let myself get lost in traffic. I couldn't allow myself to go and see him right now, or this would end up with me saying and doing things I'd regret later on. Instead I parked the car and went to the rooftop, where I knew no one would be. It was my spot. Mine and Clary's. Once there, I leaned against the closed door, evening my breaths and heartbeats and only listening to the sound of the traffic outside. I thought of everything but Robert and Alec and let my thoughts wonder on the moments I had shared with Clary on this roof. This was where we first kissed, where I found out I loved her, where she used to come almost everyday to draw. Damn it, I hoped that she would draw again, because I wasn't ready to lose that part of her because of this asshole. After what seemed like hours, I went to my room, the anger still boiling in me, and hoping not to find Robert on my way there. And I found Clary laying upside-down on my bed, her head hanging in the air at the edge of the bed. She seemed to be sleeping and I slowly closed the door not to wake her. If she could finally sleep, I was certainly not going to do anything to stop that.

"Did you talk to your brother?" So she wasn't sleeping, I went next to her and as I sat on the edge of the bed, she put her head on my laps.

"Aren't you supposed to be back at home. It's almost 9pm."

"I'm not going back there, I fled the lovy-dovy vibe I was sensing between them. But if you don't want to give me shelter, I can always go to Sebastian's."

Like Hell I was letting her go to him. I leaned forward to kiss her and after a gasp of surprise, she kissed me back. A little too well, opening her mouth to me and moaning. I stopped the kiss and got up under her surprised eyes.

"You okay?"

"I think you should go sleep with Izzy tonight." Surprise and hurt crossed her eyes before she composed herself and got up herself. I took her by the shoulders and forced her to look at me. "It's just that I'm too angry, and you like that in my bed ... I don't want to let my anger out on you."

"Why not?"

"Because you don't deserve it. I want to make _love_ to you."

"But aren't I supposed to help you feel better any way I can. Us having sex doesn't mean you don't love me. It only means you love and trust me enough to let go of everything with me."

And with that she kissed me, pushing me to the bed. Once she was on top of me, she kissed my neck, my collarbone, removed my shirt in order to kiss my chest, before going back to my lips. And pecking them.

"But maybe this is just my point of view. Izzy's not here, I'll go to Sebastian's. See you tomorrow." She lifted herself and got her bag on her way to the door. She had already started opening it when I realized what she had said, and in a heartbeat, I was closing the door, kissing her neck and bracing one of her breast. Again she gasped of surprised before turning to face me. I lifted her and tackled her against the wall, furiously kissing her. Why did she had to bring Verlac? Why was he always her first thought when she needed help? I could feel my desire of her growing as I tried to stop it. But she was kissing me back, scratching me, grinding against me and moaning. God, how I loved hearing her moan! When she was moaning like that, biting her lips in a desperate attempt to keep it in, she was sending me to the edge. I left her lips to go down her neck and suck her collarbone, knowing how well she responded to this spot, and my hands winded up her tights against my waist. She half screamed half whispered my name and I moved us from the wall to the bed. Once she was on it I removed her thighs, blinded by my desire of her, and she took off her waistcoat, lust lingering in her eyes. Then as I was about to kiss her, she flipped us, finding herself on top of me and removed her dress, revealing a matching pair of black and pink lacy underwear (Izzy had certainly something to do with it). I sat to kiss her as she kissed me back, her hands going fiercely in my hair, and when I bit her lower lip, she moaned again, making me throb down there. She pushed me against the bed, her hands leisurely going down my chest, and once on my jeans, she undid the button and got rid of it as well as my boxers, growling of pleasure when she had me in her hands. Then, she kissed me forcefully before trailing her kiss to my ear, nibbling the lobe, all the while going up and down my length with her tiny and soft hand, her thumb rubbing my head. If only she knew how much I was ready to take her right now. Then she whispered in my ear, her voice full of lust and desire.

"Jace I'm so wet you could take me right now."

That did it for me, I flipped us and got rid of her underwear all the while thinking that I didn't need to put a condom. God let me not finish too early. I entered in her, trying to go slowly, but she arched herself to me for me to be totally in her, and boy it felt good. She was so wet, and so tight. I didn't dare moving, afraid that it would be too much pleasure to handle, and she started to move her hips to me, making me feel her walls clench to me in a way I never thought it would be possible. I closed my eyes, trying to steady myself, but she wasn't helping.

"Fuck Jace, move! Fuck me as if there's no tomorrow!"

I snapped my eyes open starting to move slowly and biting my inner cheek until I felt blood in my mouth. She had removed her bra and was touching her breast, her head jerked in the back with her eyes closed and her mouth opened, panting me to fuck her. And I did. I regained myself and started ramming into her, making her scream a little bit higher each time. I kept on going back and forth, when I felt that I had to stop, I was ready, but she wasn't. I avidly took one of her breast in my mouth, and started sucking it, playing with her nipple with my teeth and retrieving myself off of her to slowly go back in. I could feel her getting wetter as she was panting my name, and I knew that she was closer. I took her leg and flung it over my shoulder as she placed the other on my back. God the access I had in her was incredible. I could feel her getting even wetter as her tight pussy was embracing my cock. I rubbed her clit with my thumb as I resumed my back and forth in her, and she lost it. And I loved seeing her like that: throwing her head everywhere, opening and closing her eyes of pleasure, biting her lips, but still moaning and screaming my name. I was so close, and I rammed in her even harder and faster.

"God... Jace! Yes ... yeeeees!" I finished a few seconds after her, panting like a dog, and I rested on her a few moments before rolling on the side, afraid to crush her. "I'll be right back."

She ran to the bathroom, leaving me dumbfounded. How could she even think clearly, because I sure couldn't. She came back and sat next to me, her expression darn serious. I also sat, worry by what I was seeing while she was looking at my soul with those eyes of hers.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to seem possessive and all. But the way you were just a few minutes ago, the faces you made, I don't want any girl to ever see them on you. I want to be the only one to have the privilege to see you letting yourself go like that." Did she know that when she was talking like that she was turning me on? I could already feel myself twitch a little.

"No one will, you're the one and only." I took her in my arms and made us lay back in the bed, so happy to be with her, right then, right there.

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view.**

Jace had fallen asleep next to me, but I was doing everything in my power not to do the same. I knew what sleeping meant, and I didn't want to have this wonderful moment I had with Jace ruined by my stupid nightmares. Once I was sure he was deep into sleep, I got up and grabbed a shirt and a pair of shorts from his closet. Then I left the room and I went to the kitchen to grab an apple. It was crazy to see how much I felt at home there. I was about to go in the living room when I heard a noise behind me. I turned to see Max at the door of his room. He smiled to me when he saw me as if I was the best thing that happened to him.

"Clary! I didn't know you were staying here tonight."

"Neither did I. It was a last minute thing."

"Why are you up? You can't sleep?" I shook my head and reminded myself a promise I had made him.

"And you?" He also shook his head. "You want me to draw your cast?"

He smiled as if it was the best thing I could ever proposed to him. He went to his desk and got out a pencil case before sitting on his bed. I took the felt pens and started drawing, feeling the picture coming naturally, happy not to have Christopher's shadow over my hand.

"Alec said that you wouldn't draw it."

"And wouldn't I keep my promise to you?"

"He said you were too sad to draw." Right, he had seen my outburst of hysteria in Arts. But with Max it only seemed natural, it was as if he was erasing all the flaws of my life. "Are you sad?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because my brother is gone. He has been really mean to me, I shouldn't be sad that he's gone, but I'm still sad because I lost my brother." Why was it so easy to talk to Max?

"Alec also is gone. Dad was really angry this morning because Alec had been kissing a boy." So that's what happened. His father finally learned the truth about his love life, and not in the best way apparently. "You think Alec will come back?"

"I'm sure he will. He and your father will make peace when every one would have had time to think."

"I hope so. I don't want to lose my brother. It's too sad. I'm sorry that you had to."

I smiled to him, putting the finishing touch of his drawing. When he looked down to it, he smiled, blinding me with his smile. Then he laid back on his bed.

"Clary? Did your brother had been really mean with you?" I let myself fall next to him, feeling exhaustion taking over me.

"Yes, beyond words. He hurt me really bad."

"So maybe you shouldn't miss him so much. Just miss the good parts of him. The fun you had with him. But not your brother. If he was really mean, he doesn't deserve you being sad over him."

I thought of what he said, realizing he was right. I was missing the idea of a brother Christopher had sell me, but not the man himself. I heard Max soft breathing and knew that he had fallen asleep, and so I tried to get up to leave, but I was too tired to do that, and so I fell asleep in a second next to him.

~.o.O.o.~

**And here is a next chapter. I hope you liked it. Tell me if you feel a bit down to the story. I know it is getting cheesy all over the place, but I can't have them fight all the time (the Clace lovers are going to kill me otherwise!) **

**I also put a little bit of Valentine/Jocelyn even though I'm not sure where this is going (if you have any idea, let me know) , and of course some Malec. **

**Oh and I hope you saw the little Game of Thrones reference (yes I'm crazy about the show AND the books of A Song Of Ice And fire). And Max rocks! I hope you liked him! (Tell me if you didn't, or did) **

**Don't hesitate to share your thoughts on the chapters and the story. ;-)**

**Anyway everything goes to Cassandra Clare!**

**Cheers. **


	34. Chapter 34

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view.**

"Jace, if you don't get up in five seconds, I'll cook breakfast!"

I got up before she could even finish her sentence. Izzy sure knew how to make sure I would get up, alive and kicking. She was at my door, cloths in her hands. She looked tired, as if she had hardly any sleep, and I couldn't blame her. Her father throwing out our brother wasn't something she ever expected to see. I looked beside me, and wasn't surprise when I saw that Clary wasn't there. Would she ever be able too sleep again properly? I rubbed my eyes, sitting back on the bed.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Better than last night. At least I know where my brother is now." I nodded and she came to sit next to me. "I still can't believe it."

"Me neither. I didn't expected that from Robert. I thought you would be the one to make him lose it."

"Me too. But I think that now I can show up pregnant, he won't even mind. No, I'm not pregnant!" I had snapped my head to her, and she was shaking hers, making her black hair bounce. "We're not that intimate yet."

"You didn't ..."

"Nope." She had popped the last syllable before letting herself fall on her back, and putting her head in her face. "You have no idea how much I envy what you have with Clary. It's like you're one and same mind, but with Simon, I never know if he wants to take it to the next level or not. This leaves us in this situations called awkward. I don't do awkward!"

I chuckled at what she said. Clary and I being as one mind... More of the contrary, I never knew what she was thinking about except when she was talking directly to me about it.

"Maybe he's gay. Maybe he's with you only to get to Alec, or to my marvelous self."

"That's not funny Jace!"

"It was. But if he's less experimented than you, maybe he's afraid not to be up to your expectations. _You_ have to show him the way of shared pleasure and take control. Preferably when I'm not around." She thought about it before getting up, leaving her cloths on the bed.

"Maybe I will." Then she left, and when she was at the door, she turned. "By the way, Clary's sleeping in Max's bedroom. Guess who's going to have his first bonner when he'll wake up."

I rolled my eyes at her while she told me the cloths she left were for Clary. I took a quick shower, thinking on how Clary was sleeping. _Sleeping_. Finally!

As I entered Max's room, I saw a grin on his face while he was looking at Clary. I also noticed the drawing on his cast and smiled. She was drawing again. If only Max knew what he had done to her.

"Get lost Max."

"Hey, this is _my_ room!"

"And this is _my_ girl that you're watching sleep!"

He pouted and he left his room hobbling and mumbling something about getting Izzy to kick my ass. Once he was gone I knelt to Clary and watched her sleep for a moment, hesitating to wake her up. She seemed so peaceful that I didn't want to disturb her inner peace. After all if she was missing first period, it wasn't that big of a deal, she needed to rest. I kept on looking at her, debating on waking her or not when her eyes slowly fluttered open. She stretched like a little cat, moaning out her sleep and looked at me with surprise.

"What are you doing here?"

"I should ask you the same. This is Max's room, not mine." She looked around, sleep leaving her face as she realized where she was.

"Oh, right. I must have passed out when we were talking yesterday night." She thought for a second and then sat up, putting her hand on my cheek. "Oh, Jace. I am so sorry for what happened to Alec."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"But.."

"Not right now. I'll only get angry and I don't want to be against you. Besides why are you sorry, you haven't done a thing to be sorry." She was about to say something, but I cut her off. "You should be only sorry to be so tempting."

"Uh?"

"Showing your legs like that." I touched her bare hips. "Hiding your body behind my shirt." I caressed her through the fabric of the shirt. "Having your lips calling out for me." I leaned to her to kiss her, but she got up all of the sudden, leaving me hanging in the air for her kiss.

"You can't be serious Jace. In your _brother's bedroom_! There's a poster of the Ninja Turtles!"

I chuckled and picked her up before leaving the room. She didn't try to get away, on the contrary, she put her head on the creek of my neck. Once back in my room, I kissed her, as soon as I closed the door behind us. She was still, in my arms, us being in the middle of the room. I trailed my lips to her neck, seeing the hickey I made there yesterday night when she tried to get down.

"You can't kiss me like that when I still have to get ready to school."

Then she stormed in the bathroom, shouting at me she would skin me alive if I dared following her. I waited on my bed, knowing that she would come out of the bathroom with only a towel on her. And she did, after growling when she realized that all her cloths were in the room with me. She was dripping wet, her hair falling as a flaming cascade around her, her towel squeezed as tight as she could around her, her body calling for me. She tiptoed to the cloths next to me, keeping a wary eye on me as I was smirking to her. The closer she got the more she knew she had lost, but she kept on trying to have the last word. I grabbed her hand, the one she didn't use to hold up her towel, and pulled her in the bed, hovering over her.

"I should hurry and go to the kitchen before Izzy burns something!"

I smirked at her and at the lack of conviction of her sentence. I kissed her neck, going all the way up to her tattoo, and then going all the way to her lips, my hands playing dangerously with the hem of her towel. I knew perfectly well that I wasn't going to do anything, but teasing her like that was something delicious. Plus I needed to get even with her banana thing! I slowly removed her hand from her towel, to which she gladly complied, even though she tried to keep on pretending she didn't want this.

"Jace ... I should really... Get ready... Kitchen... Burned down... Mmmmm..."

I had taken one her nipple between my teeth and she had moaned, shutting herself up. I sucked her breast, hearing her moaning again when it was in my mouth and after a few moments, I went back up to kiss her as I trailed my fingers to her core. She was arching herself to me, silently begging me to play with her pussy, kissing me more passionately, but as soon as I felt her wetness, I stopped. She was too wet for me to play with her and stop at that.

"Maybe we should go see what Izzy is doing to the kitchen."

She looked at me, at my obvious hard-on, then at the time on my alarm clock. 6:47. She smiled at me, and I knew it was the end.

"Maybe you could feed me." She slowly got on my laps, kissing my neck and undoing my pants. "You know how much I _love_ bananas." I closed my eyes and tried to imagine something repulsing like ... Something that would take my mind off of her hand on my cock. She started stroking me and I flipped her to the bed.

"Clary, you're such a little temptress. Who would have known!"

She chuckled before gasping as I entered her core with one finger. She bit her lip, closing her eyes to appreciate even more her pleasure. Then I knelt to the bed and kissed her body.

"I could eat you up."

Slowly I licked my way to her in between, making her pant. I deliberately played with her, never really doing what she wanted me to do until she lost it and took my hair for me to lick her. I started by her clit, making her scream softly my name and then I lapped each side of it. Then I rolled up and down my tongue on her little nub and she arched to me, her fingers fisting my hair. I could feel herself building up as she was thrusting gently toward me. I slowly slid a finger in her, almost losing it at her wetness. I quickly thrusted another finger in her and fondled her in her walls as I was still licking and sucking her clit. I could feel her getting tighter around my fingers and when I nibbled her clit, she sat up screaming out her orgasm, milking my fingers.

"Oh Jace this was ... This was..." She kissed me, making fall on my back. I wrapped my arms around her naked self and sat us back to the bed. She let her hand trail to my bulge. "I should probably do something about that."

She gently took my junk out of my boxers, and still looking at me, she knelt to me as I had knelt to her and she took me in her mouth. I bit my tongue not to finish at the very moment I was in her mouth and she started bobbing her head up and down my length. At some point, she stopped, and her tongue played with my veins and twirled on my head, making me losing it bit by bit. I knew what she was doing, I had done the same thing to her just a few moments ago. I tangled my fingers in her fiery hair and thrusted my cock in her mouth. She moaned as I established a quicker pace, and before I knew, I was ready to finish. I tried to remove myself from her, but once again, she took it all in. I let myself fall back in the bed as she cuddled next to me. I wrapped my arms around her naked body and we stayed like that for a moment.

"I should really get ready."

She got up and after wrapping the towel back around her, she picked up the cloths and ran to the bathroom, telling me to go ahead in the kitchen. I went there and found Izzy and Max talking passionately. I sat in front of one plate of waffles eying them doubtfully.

"This is not your place! This plate is for Clary!"

Izzy looked at me smiling while Max was still outraged. I grabbed a plate and sat next to Izzy, analyzing the place Max had set for Clary. A plate of waffles with fruits on the side and a glass of apple juice. I quizzically looked at Izzy, asking her wordlessly if he was the one who did all of this, and she nodded, trying to hide her merriment. I turned to Max who kept on glancing at the door for Clary's arrival.

"You cooked the waffles?"

"Yes. I made them vegan specially for Clary."

"You do realize that she is in love with _me_. And that you're too young for her."

Max blushed, readjusting his glasses, and then he mumbled something about not knowing what I was talking about. I let go of it, at least he had good taste. Clary arrived, enlightening Max's face as a ray of sun. She sat next to him as he patted the seat for her to do so and ate under all of her eyes. Max was checking if she liked his food, when Izzy and I were checking if she was eating her food. Izzy had talked to me about her concern for Clary and she was the one who told me that she wasn't eating at lunch.

~.o.O.o.~ **still Jace's point of view**

"My brother has a major crush on you, you know."

She shook her head and chuckled as if I had said something stupid. We were in Literature class, whispering for the others not to hear what we were saying.

"You're ridiculous. Max is just nice because he is nice. You should learn from him."

"Or I could teach you to be less oblivious. You have no idea of the effect you have over guys." She thought about it for a second and frowned.

"Love makes you blind."

I shook my hair and let go of the subject. I knew that if I kept going on this conversation, we would end up talking about Sebastian, and I didn't want to start a fight with her because of him. Especially after she had told me that nothing could happen between them. I wanted to believe her, but I couldn't understand how they could be friends and just friends. Especially in such a short time.

When the bell rang I walked her to her next class and then I went to Robert's office. I had a free period for my professor was sick, and I had to talk to him about the way he treated his son. When I entered the office, he signaled me to sit by his desk, apparently not expecting me to talk about what had happened with Alec.

"So what do you want Jace?"

"How could you have throw Alec away?" He looked at me, warning me silently not to go any further on the matter.

"I didn't throw him out. I just want him out for the time he comes back to his senses. He is still aloud to the school, isn't he?" I angrily punched the desk, getting up.

"This is bullshit! _You_ can fuck whoever you want, but _he_ can't!"

"Careful Jace! You're not the purest person of this house!" He also got up, anger and rage filling his eyes. "Talk to me once more like that and I'll throw _you_ out!"

"I'll spare you the trouble. I'm leaving! I don't want to stay with someone who despises his son for the wrong reasons!"

I stormed out of his office, realizing only when I was out of it what I had done. Not that I regretted it, but because Izzy and Alec would kill me. Alec didn't want me to start a fight with Robert, and Izzy had made it clear that we had to stay for Max.

~.o.O.o.~ **Jocelyn's point of view**

I woke up with the sun, Valentine's hand on my naked breast. I couldn't bring myself to regret what had happened the night before, on the contrary. The way he had touched me brought back so many memories. In a way, it had been almost like our first time. The way he had hesitated to touch me as if he would hurt me, the way he had looked at me as if I was the most precious thing to him, the way he had held me as if he never wanted to let go of me. I cuddled against him, spooning myself to him in this way our bodies perfectly melded to one another. His embrace got a little tighter on me and I could already feel myself smile. I still didn't know how I could have forgiven him for what he'd done, but I did. I knew how much he regretted it himself, and I didn't want to put more blame on him than he should bare. I turned to face him and found him looking at me with that same adoration he had all those years ago. I traced the fine lines of his face, lingering a bit more on his new wrinkles, loving them for some unknown reasons. I could see the ones formed by his worry, the ones formed by his anger, but sadly not the ones caused by his smiles.

"I miss your smile."

I barely saw him smile lately, he only smiled to Clary, but even then it was quickly replaced by a look of worry. I missed the smiles he used to give me. The smiles that made me sure that no other place were safer than his arms. The smiles that promised me to love me to the moon and back.

"I'll smile when the stars of your eyes will come back."

I closed my eyes and felt myself blushed, too well aware of what he was referring to. It was almost what he had told me for our first time. When I asked him to show me in every way how much he loved me, he had told me that he wouldn't touch me until stars would twinkle in my eyes.

"What if they never come back?"

"Then I'll steal the ones in the sky to give them to you."

I smiled at his statement and cupped his face to kiss him, as if his lips were a delicate dove. He gently kissed me back before getting up. I also got up and put on a robe as he slid in his pajamas' trousers. We went downstairs to the kitchen and drank our morning coffee.

"That daughter of yours is very perspective." I nodded, agreeing with him. Never had I thought that she would be the one giving me love advises. "She's not really good in reassuring me though."

"Is this about again Jace?"

"Not really. More about her taking her sexual independence ... I never thought I'd have to live that, never wanted to."

I smiled, so thrilled to hear the love in his voice when he was talking about Clary. It was like love at first sight, when he saw her, I saw in his eyes this sparkle of concern that every parent have. He never tried to impose himself as a father to her, but she took him in her heart anyway, accepting him as more than her biological father, but as her Dad. The first time she had called him that, he had been ecstatic, even though he didn't showed it to her. I knew how much he cared for her and how hard it had been for him when she ran off. I could have helped him, but I was too much consumed by my own pain and memories.

"At least she's being responsible. And she's talking to us about it. I'd rather that than them sneaking up on us."

"I don't know... At least they wouldn't do it in the house."

"It's not because they slept together that it means they _slept_ together."

"I don't understand how you can be so calm and relaxed about it."

"Because I am grateful to Jace. He brought me my daughter back. You saw her after him, but I saw her before. I saw how much she was scared of men, not daring to go out for coffee. I saw how she would try to hide herself behind baggy cloths and by tying her hair. I saw how she closed herself from the world. He pulled her out of this dark place."

"I know she told me. Actually she used almost the same words that you used back then. You're a lot alike. Not just by your looks and your past. You frown the same way, you laugh the same way, you have the same habit of sticking out your tongue when you're really concentrated on a work of art."

I smiled disabused, shaking my head. Maybe my daughter looked like me in all the way possible, but her character was her father's. I should know I saw her growing up, unable to deny she was his.

"She has your character. Your stubbornness, your way to look into people's souls, your taste for going against the rules, and that wipe she calls a tongue. This is all you."

And finally he smiled. Really smiled. Smiled like a father when you first put his child in his arms. And that smile alone made my heart melt to him. Suddenly the phone rang and he went to pick it up, only to come back a few seconds later, telling me it was for me. I frowned because I didn't know anyone who would call me there.

"Hello?"

"Jocelyn I need your help."

It was Maryse. She was crying on the other end of the phone, and I couldn't help but feel my heart pinch as I thought that Clary had spend the night there. What if something happened to her?

"What is it Maryse?"

"I need you to take care of my son."

"Alec?"

"No, Jace. Robert throw him out and I want to know that he have a roof over his head. Please Jocelyn take care my son as I took care your daughter."

"I will Maryse. Just tell him to come right here."

"He's not picking his phone, but it's likely that he'll go and see Clary."

"I'll tell her to bring him in. Don't worry Maryse we'll take him in."

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view**

We were all sitting at lunch with Alec, Izzy and Sebastian, Jace having miraculously disappeared into thin air. When I asked his siblings about it, they didn't seem to worry, saying that he probably went to eat lunch with their little brother. Alec didn't seem affected at all by his brutal dis-localization, he even was joking about it. But I didn't know if he really meant it or if he just wanted to cheer his sister up for she seemed really taken down by this. He decided to change the subject.

"So how are things with Simon?"

Izzy blushed and I almost mis-swallowed when I understood where the conversation was going. I looked at Izzy, pleading her with my eyes.

"Before this go any further, you have to know that you talking about Simon with me is like me talking about Jace with you."

"Good thing then, because I don't mind. Especially when I know what you two had been up to this morning."

She grinned at me while I was blushing all I could. If only Jace had been here, he would have snap something back at her.

"Anyway, I wanted to ask you Clary, is Simon a virgin?"

"How should I know? I never asked him that! ... But I guess he is because he never kept a serious relation with any girl. Any girl but you."

"This is not helping."

"Are you telling me you haven't done it?"

She sadly shook her head which surprised me. I hadn't taken Izzy as the kind of girl who would patiently wait for a guy to make the first move. She knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to show it.

"Maybe he's afraid of what sex will mean to your relation." We all turned to Sebastian. "What I mean is that if your relation didn't start with sex, it will take a whole new dimension when you'll do it. Maybe he's not sure on how you feel about it and so prefers keep his distance."

God this was a whole new level on seeing relationships. Sebastian shrugged and said that it was just a theory as another, but apparently this idea had done its way in Izzy's mind and she quickly stood up, saying that she had to take care of something. We looked at her before Alec also left to go to his class. Sebastian and I went to PE, and on the way there I felt his mood darken.

"What is it Sebastian?"

"Uh?"

"There's something you want to tell me, I can tell." He looked at his feet and swayed on them a bit.

"You know I like you right?" I nodded, not really seeing were this was going. "Well, ... How to put this? Clary you should be less oblivious of people around you and consider the fact that ..."

"God I swear that if you tell me something about other guys, I will lose it. If people look at me it's because I am that clumsy red ball of hair walking around. The only thing guys would be interested in with me is my bike. That's all."

He ticked at the motion of my bike but held his hand up as a sign of surrender. He dropped the subject and we both went to our own lockers.

~.o.O.o.~ **still Clary's point of view. **

Jace hadn't showed up in Music either and I was starting to worry. Maybe he had gotten sick or something. My Mom had texted me to absolutely get him for dinner which made me even more anxious. The fact that she insisted so much could only mean one thing, they wanted to talk to us about us having sex. I growled in my hands and looked both way of the street having the small hope to see him, but no signs of him. I would have to call my Dad to pick me up, meaning an awkward ride with him telling me how sex wasn't right and all. Please no! Suddenly, I felt Jace's arms around me. He stayed like that for a moment, hugging me from behind, his head in the creek of my neck.

"Are you okay Jace?"

"Yes, I just want to hug you. Can you stay like that for a moment?"

I didn't move, letting him deal with what he had in his mind how he could. Then, when he felt better, he took my hand and kissed my forehead.

"Would you go with me somewhere?"

"Would you come to dinner tonight? Mom insisted on you coming."

He frowned a bit, hesitating a moment before nodding. I smiled to him and let him lead me to ... Hodge's shop. I hesitated in going in. I knew he knew my Dad, and that put an invisible barrier on him. To tell the truth I had been longing to have a tattoo for the past two weeks, but when I went to another tattoo shop, I got kicked out for being out of age. Jace questioningly looked at me, and I followed him, smiling to hide my discomfort. When Hodge saw us enter his shop, his eyes lingered for a split second on our intertwined fingers before going back to his customer. We silently waited, and when he had finished, the client looked at us with suspicious eyes, but he left without saying a word.

"Jace... I'll end up in prison if I touch you again. And dead if I touch _you_."

"Did my Dad told you anything?"

"No. Your father didn't say anything."

"Well it's settled then."

He hesitated for a moment, not wanting to give up his position. Jace looked at us a question hanging on his lips, but be thought better of it, and didn't ask, letting go of my hand to put his on my smaller back.

"Anyway, I don't want you to tattoo me. I want Clary to do it."

"What?"

"You want me to lose my license?!"

We both looked at Jace as if he was insane. He had to be to ask such stupid things. He sat on the chair, not caring of Hodge's protests and removed his shirt looking at me straight in the eyes.

"I want you to draw something to me. Here." He pointed the flesh above his 'Strength' tattoo, over his heart. The same one I had on my wrist. I took a step back.

"You know I can't draw."

"I know you can. You just have to believe in yourself." I could feel tears building in the back of my eyes.

"Please don't make me do this." He looked away, and leaned in the chair, already getting comfortable for his tattoo.

"I'm not forcing you in anything. Never I will do that. I just want you to draw it for me because you're the person I trust the most in this world. You're the person I always go back to whenever I am lost."

Why did he have to put it like that? Why did he have to put all his love on me like that? I walked to him and kissed him before sitting in Hodge's chair. To tell the truth, I had forgotten about him for a moment. He looked at us, battling if he should let us do that or not. Then he showed me the box of gloves and I put them on after having tied my hair up in a tight bun.

"How do you feel right now?"

"In love." I rolled my eyes to him.

"Besides that." He hesitated a moment.

"I'd like to ... Deflect all my life. Deflect all the shit happening to me and only keep what I want, what I love."

I inspired a heavy breath and took the pen. Hodge had sterilized his skin and showed me how to work the pen, and after visualizing what I would do, I started drawing on his skin. He stiffed when the pen touched him, but didn't say anything, keeping his eyes on me the whole time. I draw something that reminded his other tattoos for it not to be out of place and when I had finished it, Hodge put a bandage on it, cursing under his breath.

"I guess you want also a tattoo." I nodded and quickly draw what I wanted him to tattoo me. It looked a bit like the sketch of a fish. "You want the Morgenstern emblem?"

I looked at him, surprised that he knew what it was. When I had first seen it on my father's nape, I had been drawn to it, asking about it. That's when he told me everything about his family and ancestors. We had stayed up until down, me drinking everything he could tell me about his family, my family, but when I had tried to ask him about Mom's, he had looked away and told me that I'd have to ask her.

"Your father and I go way back. I guess you want it in the same place."

I nodded again and placed myself on the chair, removing any wild hair that could have fallen. He sterilized me and the pen touched my skin I shot my eyes close, gritting my teeth. God I loved tattoos, but it hurt like Hell to have them on! Jace chuckled under his breath.

"You have to always pick the places where it hurts the most!"

"Well it's not like I'll do it on my boob!"

"Certainly not in my shop!"

"As I said."

Jace chucked some more while I was counting the seconds for it to be over. Jace was right, I knew how to pick the best places (note the sarcastic tone). Next time I should try a place less bony, meaning I had to gain back all my weight. When finally Hodge put the bandage on my nape, I let go of Jace's hand, only realizing that I had been squeezing it all along. By far, this tattoo had been the most painfully one.

We left Hodge's shop and went to my house by subway. I knew something was up with Jace, but I didn't ask him because he seemed on the edge of it. I only squeezed his hand from time to time for him to know I was there. When we got at my front door, he kissed me. Passionately, desperately, lovingly. He cupped my head in his hands, releasing my hair from their bun and being careful not to even brush my bandage. I kissed him back, crushing him against me, making him feel how much I loved him. And then my father opened the door.

~.o.O.o.~

**Sorry for the cheesiness it was so... Cheesy! Cheesiness all over the place with Clace with Valentine/Jocelyn! Oh God so much cheesiness should be forbidden, hope you don't hate me for it (please don't hate me!)**

**Yes I know the angelic rune is in no way related to Valentine, but... I couldn't put it otherwise. I wanted her to have a Morgenstern tattoo and it ended up to be the angelic rune. And the Jace's one is Deflect. **

**So I started a new fanfic, still a schoolfic, but with a lighter atmosphere and full of lemons (oh God, I'm such a perv'!). So if you want to check it out it's called 'Beaten At His Own Game'. The resume is : Clarissa Morgenstern is the new girl of the high school, and Jace Herondale finds his way with her. But what happens when new feelings grow in both their hearts, jealousy, desire, love?' **

**Okay, I know the resume is really weird, but go check it out, and tell me what you think. And the update might not be as daily as this one (don't worry I'll keep this one prior). **

**You all know that Cassandra Clare owns everything, and I don't **

**So cheers**.


	35. Chapter 35

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view**

Of course her Dad had to open the door when I was kissing her. It's like he had radar on him, and knew when exactly to butt in. Clary jumped a bit at his appearance before blushing like crazy, which surprised me. It's not like he caught us in bed or my hand in her shirt, we were just kissing, and she had kissed me countless times in front of him.

"Took you long enough."

"We took the subway and made a small detour."

She entered in the house, pulling me by the hand and kissed her father on the cheek once she closed the door. He smiled to her and told us that dinner was ready. We went to the kitchen, and found her Mom already there. Clary looked closely at her and her father before smiling all she could. I didn't know what she saw on their faces, but she liked it. Could it be ... I shrugged, thinking that Clary made me think way too much of what her parents did or didn't do. She washed her hands in the sink, telling her mother it smelled lovely. Her mother was looking at me with a odd look in her eyes, something that made me feel uneasy and uncomfortable.

"Can I talk to you for a second Jace?"

No? I nodded anyway, it's not like I could actually say no. We went in the corridor under Clary's questioning eyes, but I had no idea what it was all about.

"Can you promise me something?" Oh God, it was Valentine all over again, except this time I knew I couldn't keep my word.

"What?"

"As long as you stay here, please don't have sex with Clary when we're _in_ the house. I don't think Valentine can support that much."

"As long as I stay here?"

"I know about your ... current situation, and you're more than welcome to stay here, but please don't do it when we're around."

I nodded, taking in the information that I would have a roof over my head for the night. I could always have gone to Alec and Magnus' but that would have meant Alec tearing my head for arguing with Robert. She smiled to me, and for the first time in two weeks, her smile was real. Clary was right, something did happened. We went back to the kitchen to find Clary and her father talking passionately about something. They immediately stopped as we entered, and Clary winked at her father in a 'I keep your secret' kind of way. God, their relationship kept on getting closer and closer. I sat next to her, making her stand between her father and I, and when I was properly siting, she served me broccolis, mashed potatoes and lentils steak.

"This is one of my favorite food."

"I think it's missing a bit of red." She looked at me as if she was about to kill me. "The color. As in tomatoes."

She smiled, forming a 'o' with her mouth. Geez, her mouth in that position wasn't something I should see in her parents' presence. We started eating when Valentine, the King of bringing awkward out of nowhere, asked me about my eating habits.

"I was surprised to hear that you were back on meat."

"Uh, I don't know. I guess when little me arrived in a carnivore house, I didn't dare saying that I was different and I didn't want to cause any trouble by asking a different kind of meal. So I just got along with it."

Valentine nodded before going back to his food while Clary looked at me, without really looking at me. She was once again lost in her thoughts and suddenly she snapped out of it, looking at her mother, panic in her eyes.

"We're in December! For days we've been! And we still haven't done our tree!"

Valentine looked from his daughter to his ... wife? Should I call her that? And she explained herself.

"Yes, I guess it's about time we do our tree." She turned to Valentine. "It's a tree we make every year from our most liked painting and drawing."

Clary squealed and got up. She _squealed_. Clary never squealed. She took a bottle of water out of the fridge, and came back to the table, saying that they should do it over the weekend. I smiled as I realized what she was saying, without really saying it: she would draw. She would draw for the simple pleasure of it. Her father cut off her pleasure by saying something that made her got up straight back.

"By the way I had your bike's tires changed."

"You did what?"

She ran outside, slamming the door behind her to check on her baby. Her Mom chuckled and scold Valentine.

"I told you to tell her it was Jordan who did it. No one else touches her bike. You lost her, now she's going to inspect every inch of it."

That's what she apparently did, because she only came back fifteen minutes later (leaving me with her parents in a dead silence), dirty oil on her hands, and shooting her father with daggers.

"You could have said that it was Jordan's work. I wouldn't have to get my hands dirty." He laughed at her.

"You should have let me the time to precise it. Anyway, now you can ride without me having a heart attack." She smiled and walked to him, her hands before her, ready to attack him with them.

"You're the best Dad ever. Let me show you my gratitude."

I tried to keep my laugh in as she wiped her hand on him, knowing how much Valentine was obsessed with clean things. We all laughed as he tried to gracefully get away, but she kept on attacking him, until she let herself fall on the floor, laughing so much that she was crying.

After dinner we went in her room and she told me what I had missed today. She didn't asked me why I didn't come to class, nor why I was staying at her place once again, and started doing her homework on her bed, me sitting just next to her. This girl was too serious, I tried to tease her by poking her from times to times, but she didn't react to it, over concentrated by her homework. I did mines and when she finished, she took her Literature book from under her bed.

"You do know I'm here right?"

"You do know that we have our finals next week?"

Damn, I had forgotten about those damn finals. Decidedly Clary was too serious. I didn't really care about finals and exams in general. I knew that I would pass, as usual. I always passed, even when I didn't pay attention to class, I always passed with good marks. I must have been a natural genius or something.

Suddenly my phone rang the dreaded Cindy Lauper song and I picked up.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED JACE HERONDALE? I COME BACK AND DONT SEE YOU, AND NOW MOM IS TELLING ME THAT YOU HAD A FIGHT WITH DAD! WHAT ABOUT MAX?"

Well if Clary didn't know about my situation, now she did. She got up, signaling me that she would give me some space, but I took her hand and sat her back next to me, intertwining our fingers together.

"I lost it Izzy. I'm sorry but he was being a mighty ass, and I lost it."

"But Jace... What about Max? He's crying because he thinks you and Alec will never come back."

"I'll come back as soon as Alec will, but I can't let him treat Alec like that."

"But... Are you at Magnus?"

"No. At Clary's."

"In other words, you're never coming back."

"Don't be ridiculous. You do know that her Dad also leaves there. I can see his fingers twitching from times to times to plant me with one of the big knives of his neat kitchen."

Clary chuckled , putting her hand on her mouth. Izzy also giggled on the other end of the phone.

"Well, good night then. Don't do anything that would make me have to go to your funeral!"

I hang up and Clary smiled up to me, her hand still in mine.

"I guess you heard that."

"I did. But I'd understand if you don't want to talk about it."

"It's just that Robert is being such an hypocrite. He has been cheating on Maryse for as long as I can remember and now that his son finds someone he's happy with, he wants to deny it to him. I don't understand."

"He's just being old-school. He'll come around you'll see. He won't let his family fall apart because of something that little. Just give him time."

Clary and this calming and rationalizing voice of hers. I let my head rest on her shoulder, and she caressed my hair, as if I was her child. Then she abruptly got up, and went to her closet.

"Lucky you I have some old stuffs you can use as pajamas."

She throw at me a shirt and a pair of shorts. As she said, lucky me that she had baggy cloths in her closet. She picked up her own pajamas and left the room. I got dressed and waited for her to come back. I knew I had a room ready for me in front of hers, but I wanted to feel her sleep next to me. I knew I was playing with fire, but I just wanted to be with her. She came back in the room, surprised a bit by the fact that I stayed. She came to the bed, placing herself next to me and looked at her shirt on me.

"God, I'm really skinny!" Her shirt was a perfect fit for me when it was always baggy on her. She grimaced and laid under the cover. "You're staying here?" I nodded. "Not afraid to be strangled in your sleep?"

"I'd die happily for you."

"Well I wouldn't! I'd fight first and then do everything to stay alive because I know you wouldn't be so happy if I died!"

I laughed, taking her in my arms, after having switched off the light.

"Ever heard of romantic words?"

"Nope. Only of cheesiness. You were being cheesy, I had to take you back on the right path!"

She snuggled against me, and I heard in her voice that she would fall asleep in the upcoming minutes. She mumbled something about my smell that I didn't understand.

"What?

"Why do you smell like sunshine? You shouldn't smell like Angels, you should smell like the rest of us. Like humans."

And then her head got heavy on my arm and I knew she had been stolen away from me by Morpheus. I looked at her silhouette, tracing her face in the dark, before myself falling asleep, hoping she wouldn't get nightmares this night.

I woke up in the middle of the night. Clary was sitting in her bed and her head was up to the ceiling.

"Clary? Are you okay?"

"I don't know."

I sat next to her and caressed her back. I could distinguish her bright green eyes staring at the ceiling before she snapped out of it.

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Don't be. Everything okay?"

"I don't know. I woke up because I didn't wake up." This was confusing. "I'm used to waking up every night, and tonight I didn't, and it startled me until I woke up because I didn't wake up... This isn't making any sense, is it?"

"Are you telling me that you didn't have a nightmare?"

"Yes."

"Well, then I don't care about it making sense or not. As long as you're nightmare free."

I laid back in the bed, taking her with me, and kept on caressing her back until I heard that she had fallen back asleep.

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view. **

Jace staying had its inconveniences and its advantages. I was thrilled to have him always around, aware of where he was and what he was doing (geez, I was becoming possessive), but in the mean time I had to keep my hands off of him. And it was the really annoying part.

On Saturday afternoon, a dolled up Izzy barged into my house, imposing herself to my parents and then, she barged into my room, interrupting the intensive make out session I was having with Jace. Of course she would, it was Izzy! She throw a bag at Jace and told him to leave the room and go get ready. As soon as he left, Izzy looked at me, a wild smile on her face that I didn't like at all.

"Whatever you're thinking, I'm saying no!"

"You have no choice! We're going out tonight! The six of us, and there's no way in Hell I'll let you leave this house dressed like that."

I was wearing sweat pants and a baggy Guns N' Roses shirt.

"My clothing is perfect, I don't need to be dolled up thank you very much."

"Either we do it nicely, either I tie you up!"

I sighed and got up. She ordered (yes _ordered_) me to put some cloths that she was pulling out of her _enormous_ bag. I winced, realizing that she had kidnapped me for at least three hours. I looked at the cloths and winced even more.

"Izzy, this is _pinkish_!"

"Jace loves when you were this shade of pink." I shuddered.

"This is so creepy. How can you know his likes and dislikes better than I do?"

She chuckled and told me to get dressed. Once I had put on the outfit, she made me sit and started working on my face, all the wile talking.

"Your room is soooo big! I could use a room like that!"

"Well, we can switch rooms if you want." She chuckled.

"Your Dad seems nice. I thought that he would be scarier because Jace and Simon are really scared of him, but not at all. They're just wuss."

I remembered what Simon had told me when I had called him on Monday. He said that he never had been so scared in his life but when he saw my father. He said that the look of my father's face was the one that murderers must have. But then again when he saw him, it was when the whole truth had been unveiled. Simon said that he had been so afraid of what Dad would have done to him if he had learned that he knew all along.

"Claryyyy? Listening to me?"

"Sorry, you were saying?"

"Simon and I finally did it. It was yesterday after school. We went at his place and his mother and sister weren't home, and then he told me he loved me, and then I kissed him telling him I loved him too, and then he kissed me back, and then ..."

"... Over sharing Izzy! There's so much I can hear about Simon's sex life!"

"I don't get it. Simon is acting all the same when I talk about you and Jace."

"Because this is how normal people are supposed to react! Not asking more details about their sibling's sex-life."

"Pfff. Nonsense! Anyway, I'm finished, now I just have to your hair."

"Or you can live them as they are."

"Nice try!" She started playing with my hair with her curler and her straightener. "So what are you planning to offer to Jace for Christmas?"

"The hair you would have burned!" She gave me look and I shrugged. "I don't know. Christmas hadn't really been in my mind lately."

I actually had something in the back of my mind. A painting that I had been secretly working on since Friday afternoon. I wasn't as good as Mom on painting, but still, I didn't suck at it.

"I know he's planning something huge on you, but he won't just tell."

"That's the point of the surprise isn't it?"

"But I'm his sister, he could tell, it wouldn't kill him! And imagine he gets you something totally inappropriate, like ... a video game!"

"A video game would be cool."

"I keep forgetting you're not a girl! ... I'm done, you can look at my marvelous work of art!"

I looked and opened my eyes in surprise, making Izzy smile of self content. I had smoky eyes making my eyes look greener than they were and pink cheeks without a trace of freckles on them. My lips were slightly glossy while my lashes were suddenly dark, thick and long. Izzy had pulled all my hair in a left sided ponytail, the ends marvelously curled as my roots were as straight as it could be. She had left a consequent strand of slightly curled hair on my forehead, tucking it behind my left ear, and putting a headband to separate it from the ponytail. The headband was pale pink and had a huge flower on the left side of my head, the rest of being lacy.

Then I looked at the outfit she had made me wear. For the top I was wearing a sleeveless, cleavage showing pale pink shirt and had a jacket over it, a tone darker than the shirt. There was a necklace with black feathers at the end of it. I had black shorts and skin color tights and was higher by at least 5 inches thanks to the black heels she had made me wear.

"Geez, I look like a _girl_!"

Izzy laughed at my joke and we got downstairs after she shouted to Jace that he'd better be ready and downstairs himself. When we arrived at the last step of the stairs, Jace was waiting for us, his eyes checking me out, but I was all too preoccupied by what I was seeing over his shoulder. Dad was in a suit, but that was normal, he was often wearing a suit. No, what was intriguing was the fact that Mom was wearing a fancy dress. The kind of dress she would wear to go on a date.

"Please tell me you're not coming with us."

"No. Of course no honey. We're just... going out. To an exposition. Then maybe we'll eat something, so don't except us until at least 2am."

I smiled at Mom, internally cursing Izzy to the seven Hells. The house was empty, and instead of using this precious time with Jace, I was dragged into a date. It better be good. My parents left before us, and Izzy quickly ran back upstairs, saying that she forgot something in my room. I finally looked at Jace, and saw sparkles in his golden eyes.

"I don't know if I should thank Izzy or hate her."

"Uh, why?"

"She made you too ... _tempting_. If she wasn't so crazy, I would have blow her off right now."

I chuckled and pecked him on the lips, before apologizing for putting gloss on him. I wiped it out with my thumb, and he caught my hand to intertwine our fingers.

~.o.O.o.~ **still Clary's point of view.**

We were all having fun with Simon, Alec, Magnus, Izzy and Jace. Joking and laughing like five years old children. We were at Taki's, a restaurant to which the Lightwoods were really fond of. Jace had tried to change Izzy's mind about the location, and I couldn't understand why. The food was delicious and they had numerous choice on the vegan menus. But then the waitress we had from the beginning asked one of her coworkers to relay her. The new waitress had bleached blond hair and piercing blue eyes, and she was staring at Jace who was doing everything he could to ignore her. I understood that she must have been one of his ... How should I call this? A person he used to have sex with? She came to our table, standing on purpose next to Jace and asked what we wanted for desert. Izzy 'ordered' first.

"Another waitress?"

"I'm the best you'll get. As always." God, could she be less transparent? She winked at Jace before looking at me.

"So that's why you don't come and see me anymore. For a red ball of hair. I thought better of you Jace."

"Fuck off Kaelie!"

"Already done that. Did he tell you that we hooked up? When was the last time already? A month ago or something. Don't you remember Jace? It was at that bar you liked so much."

~.o.O.o.~

**Okay, so to tell you the truth, I had another ending, with the story going a bit longer, but this one is SO MUCH BETTER. Mouhaha I'm so evil! I'm the worst person ever! He he he. What do you think happened? To put it back properly in your mind, she's talking about the night when he saw her at the bar after Valentine told him all those mean things. **

**And in the next chapter, you will know what Valentine did to his children and Jace. But maybe some of you already guessed it. Tell me if you think you had. **

**And well, that's it. I hope you liked it (yeah, because you don't tell me anymore you know that the credits are all to Cassandra Clare**

**Cheers**


	36. Chapter 36

~.o.O.o.~ **Clary's point of view. **

A month ago? In a bar? Did she mean that time when Jace woke me up in the middle of the night full of incertitudes? I looked at him but he didn't look back at me. This wasn't helping. Him looking so guilty was not something that would reassure me. Izzy broke the dead silence that Kaelie had placed upon us.

"Jace? What does she mean by 'we hooked up a month ago'?"

"She means that we kissed."

It was just a kiss? Just a kiss? They were making this whole scene for a fucking kiss? What was wrong with them?

"And?" He finally looked at me. I looked up to Kaelie. "I guess you didn't make that much of an impression since he didn't stay for desert."

Izzy laughed soon joined by the rest of the table. Only Jace staid stoic. Kaelie turned her heels, vexed by everyone laughing at her. I shook my head and suddenly Jace got up and asked me to come with him outside. I followed him, silently apologizing to the others.

Once we were outside we walked in silence in the snow for a while, his hand holding firmly mine, squeezing it a little tighter when I almost slipped due to my heels. At some point, I couldn't take anymore this silence, so I stopped.

"Jace what is it?"

"I don't understand you."

"You don't understand me?"

"No, I don't. You heard what happened. You should be yelling at me, not ... Not looking so damn calm about it!"

"You want me to yell for a kiss? It was just a kiss. I don't care about it. To tell you the truth I'm glad you kissed her."

"You're what?"

"Yes. I remember perfectly this night. You came to me, confused and conflicted. Not sure about anything but your feelings for me. You came and told me you tried to forget me. You have no idea how much it had hurt me when you said that. But I ended up being happy because you came back to me. Because you couldn't forget me. And even though you could have had her, you still came back to me. That's the only thing I see. I only see that no matter how desperate you were to forget me, you just couldn't."

He looked at me, confusion in his eyes and I tiptoed myself to kiss him, to show him that it was nothing to me. He kissed me back before hugging me.

"I can't lose you."

He crushed me a little tighter, before letting go of me and taking my hand before leading us to the subway."

"I guess you're a better person than I am."

"Why do you say that?"

"Had the situation been reversed, I know I wouldn't have acted as graciously as you did."

"That's because I trust you more than you trust me."

As soon as I had said the words, I regretted them. I saw the glimpse of hurt in his eyes, but he didn't try to deny it. The thing was I didn't mean it like that. I just thought that he was too suspicious of others.

We arrived in an empty house, and I remembered what my Mom had told me about coming home late. I smiled to myself and turned to Jace. He still had this stern look on his face as I lead him to my room, apparently still not dropping the Kaelie issue. I was now angry that bitch. She had hopped to ruin our mood by planting her bomb, and she was doing just that. Not the way she had planned, but still.

Jace sat on the bed, looking at the floor, totally downcast. I slowly stripped to my underwear, but Jace didn't seem to even notice. God, this was going to be harder than I thought. I stood before and finally he looked at me. His eyes travelled on my body, noticing the lack of cloths before finally locking with mines.

"I do trust you Clary. I just don't like the idea of anyone touching you the way I do."

"No one does."

"But everyone wants to. Don't! Don't argue on it. You're not a guy, you can't understand what you do to us when you do those little things you do. Like right now. As much as I want to talk to you, I can't keep my mind from wondering to what we could be doing." I smiled, finally seeing an opening.

"Well, we can always talk later."

I kissed him, sitting on his laps and putting his hands on my body. I felt him hesitate before finally giving in. He tried to flip me down, but I didn't let him. I wanted to be the one in control this night. I kissed him, sucked his lower lip before he opened his mouth to me. I explored it with my tongue, occupying my hands by undoing the buttons of his shirt.

Once he had got rid of it, I laid him on the bed, kissing his neck and collarbone. His hands were on me, holding me a little tighter every time I was doing something that he particularly liked, and slowly I started kissing each of his tattoos, unbuttoning his trousers, before going back to his mouth. He kissed be back fiercely, moaning when I took him in hand. I always had been impressed to see how much we fitted perfectly together in the most intimate details. It was as if we were made to be together.

I started stroking him, making him bite his lips to keep his moans inside. I started going down, knowing how much he appreciated it, but he suddenly opened his eyes and stopped me.

"There's no way I'll let you do that."

"Why not?"

"Because what you do to me when you're down there ... It makes me lose it. And I want to finish _with_ you."

He flipped us on the bed, making him stand on the top of me and resumed kissing me. So much for me being in control. He swiftly unclasped by bra, and once my breast were free, he sucked one of them, playing with my nipples and his teeth and making me arch to him. I had been so ready for him to take me that now that he was on top, all I wanted was to feel him inside of me. I kissed him, seizing his head, and leading it in me, not knowing when I got rid of my panties.

"Jace, I want you!"

He trusted in me, making me see stars. Making love with Jace was like going to cloud nine. I brought my legs behind his waist, humping to him to make him go deeper. He kept on thrusting in me, sending me new waves of pleasure at each thrust, and then he sucked my collarbone. That damn spot who always sent new waves of pleasure within me. I half screamed his name, making him moan in the creek of my neck.

I decided that I wouldn't let him do all the heavy work, and I flipped us on the bed, finding myself on top of him. He moaned when I started going up and down his length, and this moan alone made me wet. Seeing him lose it like that was something so exiting. He raised himself a bit, leaning on his elbows and took in his mouth one of my breast, which made me quicken my assaults on him, and there it was. There it was. That wonderful feeling overwhelming me. He screamed out my name, his face free of any emotions but extreme pleasure, thrusting one last time in me.

I let myself fall on his chest and he caressed my hair. I enjoyed this moment of us, being just one. Having connected in all the possible way, until words weren't enough. We stayed like that for what seemed forever, and I started to fall asleep on him when his chest echoed under my ear.

"You should get in pajamas before falling asleep."

I sat up to look at him, once again surprised by the fact that he knew me so well. I got up and picked a baggy shirt and a pair of shorts and put them and going to the bathroom.

When I got back, I saw Jace under the cover, showing his arms to me for me to join him. I switched off the light and jumped in the bed to him.

"Keep on make me lose my mind like that, and soon you'll date a mad woman instead of me."

He chuckled, and laid in the bed, proposing his arm as a pillow. I laid there, thinking on how my life was finally back on track, and on how I loved it. How I loved being with Jace, living with my parents, feeling complete at last. I fell asleep, submerged by this wonderful feeling.

~.o.O.o.~ **still Clary's point of view. **

When I woke up the next, I silently crept out of my room in order not to wake up Jace and quickly went to take a shower. I couldn't help but feel happy. I was so happy I wanted to scream it on the top of my lungs. I was happy for so many little things, and on top of it, it had been four nights since I had any nightmares. I went to the kitchen, knowing that I would find my parents there, and once there, I quickly kissed both of them before grabbing a bowl of fruits salad and sitting down, a stupid smile on my face. Dad looked at me, his eyes narrowed.

"What?"

"... No. I don't want to know what made you that happy after all. Keep it to yourself."

I smiled to him and turned when I heard Jace's footsteps behind me. I smiled to him when he was looking warily at my father, whose voice quickly echoed.

"What is that?"

"What?" I checked myself internally for anything wrong that could be with me.

"On your nape?"

"Oh that... A tattoo?"

He smiled at me, somehow proud of it, but quickly regained his composure.

"You didn't have to..."

"I wanted to. I've wanted to since I saw it on you. Now I guess I am really a Morgenstern, if not by name, at least by tattoo... Anyway, we should go."

Mom questioningly looked at us but I shook my head and we both left to go and buy her her Christmas gift.

~.o.O.o.~ still Clary's point of view.

For the rest of the weekend, Mom and I built our traditional, untraditional Christmas tree. Jordan passed by, happy to see that I was alive and kicking, but unhappy by my weight lost. He threatened me to make me lose my own bike if I didn't gain weight until the end of the upcoming week.

What I really noticed during this weekend, was that as much as he enjoyed spending time with us, Jace missed his family, and the whole situation was nagging him. He didn't talk about it, but I knew how much it was gnawing him inside. So I decided that I would do whatever I could to help him with this situation. At lunch on Monday, I ditched them, realizing afterwards that Jace wouldn't appreciate having to spend time with Sebastian when I wasn't there.

I went to the office of Alec and Izzy's father and knocked, reassembling all my courage. A deep and stern voice told me to come in, and as I did, I tried not to shake.

"Mr Lightwood?"

I saw an older version of Alec. Raven black hair contrasting with piercing blue eyes. The only difference being that Alec's face was friendlier than his father's.

"Oh Clarissa. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Can I please talk to you?"

He indicated me to seat in front of him, and once I did so, I felt even smaller than usual. I tried to get a hold of myself, saying over and over that I had done the good thing.

"Well, I know this is not really my business but... I think you should ask Alec and therefore Jace to come back to your home."

He looked at me up and down, making me fall smaller and smaller. He didn't expect me to talk to him about that.

"You're right this is none of your business."

"It's just that this whole thing is tearing your family apart, and trust me you don't want to know how it feels to have your family torn because of something you did. You don't want to wake up at night thinking of what you could have done differently to spare your family the pain you caused them. You don't want to wonder what if each morning when you see the empty seat of your sons. A family is too precious for it to be destroyed by different way to see life."

He didn't say anything, and I got up, ready to leave.

"You look a lot like Jocelyn, but you talk like Valentine."

I looked at him, not sure of what to do or say, and when he didn't add anything to it, I left, hoping that I didn't worsen the situation.

All day long I thought about that little conversation I had with Alec's fathers, and now that I was thinking about it, I found it odd that having spent two whole weeks in his home I had never actually seen the man. And now, I saw him twice in one day. He was in front of the Arts class, and I hoped he was waiting for Alec. I walked to him and he benevolently smiled to me. Alec arrived just behind me and stopped when he saw his father. I took him by the hand and brought him to his Dad. As I was going to class, Mr. Lightwood put his hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you Clarissa."

"Don't. And it's Clary."

"Thank you Clary." He hesitated a moment before adding. "And you should tell your father that he was right, he could do it, and he did it."

I was about to ask him what he was talking about, but he just shook his head and told his son they should talk somewhere else. I didn't really pay attention in Arts, drawing without thinking, and when I looked to the drawing, I saw Alec and his father laughing over coffee. I hoped it was what was happening. I couldn't wait for the classes to be over in order to ask my Dad what Mr. Lightwood had meant.

I didn't really pay attention to Music either, and at the end of it, I told Jace that he should at least go and see his little brother. He did it, not without grumbling about how he wasn't welcome over there anymore, but I knew he would be welcome with open arms.

As soon as I got home, I looked for Dad, and I found him reading in the living-room. He smiled when he saw me, and I smiled back, sitting next to him and facing him.

"I saw Mr. Lightwood today."

"You saw Robert? Did you get in trouble and got sent to the principal's office?"

"No. How come you two are on first name basis?" He warily looked at me, not liking where the conversation was going.

"Why don't you ask me what you really want to know."

"It's just that he told me something weird. He told me to tell you that you were right. That you could do it and that you did do it. And I don't understand a thing."

"You don't want to understand trust me."

"Maybe, but I want to know."

He sighed and put his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees. How many times had I seen Jace having the same position. They were more alike that they'd care to admit.

"Clary, me telling you might make you hate me. I can't risk that. I can't risk losing the daughter I just got."

"I promise I won't. Maybe I'll get angry, but I won't hate you. I can't. It's not in my genes." He darkly laughed at my last sentence.

"Interesting choice of words. Where do I begin?

It all begins like most stories do, with a girl. She was beautiful, innocent and radiant. An Angel gracing us with her presence. But she wasn't happy. She was always sad, and never talked to anyone. There was this boy who liked her even though she never talked to him, he had seen in her this glimpse of Paradise, and he would have done anything to make this Angel feel home, feel as if she was in Paradise.

Eventually, they befriended, and they shared their most dark and inner secrets, and slowly they fell in love. They got married really young and fled the country they were living in to live in the boy's family house in Switzerland. There, they found friends that the boy rallied under his cause: making the world a better place, because the sadness he had seen in her Angel, never he wanted to see it again. How wrong he was.

A few months after their arrival, the young couple found out that the Angel would never have children because of her past. And that made her cry for days and night, so the young boy elaborated a formula that eventually cured her. She got pregnant, more radiant than ever, but the boy couldn't have enough, he persuaded himself that he could alternate the unborn baby genes to make him a better person.

Without telling his Angel, he gave her a new formula to alternate from the womb the baby. To make him better, stronger, healthier, ... But he had miscalculated the thing and when the baby was born, when the baby boy came to the world, he saw his mistake. The baby didn't cry, barely moved, but his black pitch eyes were constantly watching you, following your every move. He couldn't tell his Angel what he had done, how could he? She would have left him forever, but even without knowing, she became depressed, fading a little bit more.

And so the boy made a new formula, a better one in order to help his Angel, but before giving it to her, he tested on another woman with child to see the results. He couldn't risk harming his Angel once again. He watched the pregnant woman being happier than ever, never having mood swings, baring incredibly well her pregnancy, and finally the other woman had her baby boy, he was normal, and they were both radiant, until the woman died from child birth.

But the boy had enough. He knew now that the formula would work now, so once again he gave his Angel a stronger dose of the formula to help her feel better. And soon he saw how well it worked, her being finally happy as she deserved, laughing with her child. For months it lasted, until she learned what he had been up to.

You see the boy had kept records of what he had been doing, and she had found them. And she was furious with him, and she left storming out of the house in put the middle of the night. She went to his best friend, and both of them plotted in having him arrested. And the boy, crazy at the time didn't understand why they were so mad, so before anyone could come, he burned his house to the ground, staging his death and his son's, not knowing that his Angel was again with child. A child who would grow up to be the beautiful, kind and strong girl that you are."

I looked at my father, him looking at the cold hearth of the chimney, lost in his memories.

"Are you telling me that J-Jonathan, Jace and I are experiments?"

He nodded, refusing to look at me in the eye. My brain was racing. There was so many questions I wanted to ask, and so many answers I was afraid of having.

"What do you mean something was wrong with ... the first boy?"

"He isn't normal. He never was. Even when he grew up, he was ... odd. He never showed the single emotion and had to learn them the same way a child learns Calculus. The only emotion he would shown was his jealousy toward Jace when he found out about him. That's the main reason why I sent him away, it was because Jonathan was becoming more and more vindictive toward Jace."

"But I thought they didn't knew about each other."

"Jace didn't, Jonathan found out by sneaking on me, accusing me to like him better as a son, and in a way he was right. Jace was real, Jonathan was...defective, in lack of a better term."

I couldn't process it all. It was too much informations for me. Too much. I brought my knees to my chest and rocked myself after putting my head on my knees.

"This is why this is so messed up. It explains it all Jonathan, Jace."

"What do you mean?"

"Why Jace loves so much. Why Jonathan did what he did. They didn't have a choice in the matter it was written in their DNA!"

He looked at me, alarmed by my tone, I was on the verge to cry, and suddenly my phone rang, announcing Jace on the other end.

~.o.O.o.~ **Jace's point of view**.

"Hello?"

"How can you be so perfect?"

"What?"

"Alec and I talked to Robert. We're back in the house, and apparently, it's thanks to you."

She didn't seem really reactive to what I told her, her mind somewhere else.

"You okay?"

"Yes, it's just I'm in the middle of something. You'll tell me all about it tomorrow."

She hang up and I stayed staring at the phone not really sure of what had just happened. If I didn't know any better, I would have say that she was on the verge to cry, but that didn't made any sense. I let go of it, appreciating this family moment I had been longing for for days. And now, Alec was presenting Magnus to his parents. I still don't know how she managed to change Robert's mind, but she did.

~.o.O.o.~

The next day she arrived late in class earning the teacher's scowl for we were in test and she quickly did her test before giving back to the teacher. She left the class in a hurry, and after swiftly finishing my own paper, I followed her. When she saw me she weakly smiled, but didn't walk to me. We were in the Mathematics corridor, and when I walked to her, she took a step back. I looked at her intrigued, and noticed that her eyes were red and puffy.

"What's wrong Clary?"

"I think we should stop." I didn't like the sound of that, nor the sound of her voice.

"Stop what?"

"Whatever it is we have, we should stop."

"Why that?"

"Because it is not _normal_."

"Well, I don't care about normal. I just want to be with you."

"But I don't. I don't want to be with you. We are not _compatible_. It's unnatural for us to be together. I wished that... That we had met in different circumstances, but us, is not something I can do. I'm sorry."

She turned her back and left me there in the middle of the corridor as the bell rang.

~.o.O.o.~

**Tadaaaaaaaam. So now you know. What do you think will happen next? What will do Jace?**

**Sorry if the chapter is a little short, but I'm falling on my laptop here, I'll try make it up to you in the next chapter. **

**Hope you liked this chapter and Valentine big reveal. Was it what you expected?**

**Anyway, I own nothing so **

**Cheers**


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